Sammy barely pays attention when Uncle Bobby entrusts the amulet to him, speaking of Sumeria and Gilgamesh. Sam plans to give the funny-looking necklace to his Dad on Christmas. It's just a silly brass bull head on a string—a dime store trinket.

Night falls much too early in December, and with it comes a bone-deep depression no eight-year-old boy should feel. Spending Christmas in a cheap motel room eating Funyuns certainly doesn't help matters. He wants his Dad. Tired of being left behind-tired of the lies-he wants answers.

Dean gives them, so Sam gives back in turn.

"I love it, Sammy," Dean declares, puffing out his boyish chest to display the amulet.

Sam nods softly, his heart overflowing. I love you too, Dean.

Barely conscious, Sam watches Dean remove the necklace from the dead Shifter, a look of angry distaste on his handsome face. Retrieving the amulet and re-establishing his identity occurs before he moves to treat Sam's injuries.

Mine.

Sam is flooded with a love so strong it almost overrides the pain. As he heals, he realizes that the bull-on-a-string is anything but a silly trinket.

Sam buries Dean's mangled body and keeps the amulet to wear under his clothing. He sleeps with it wrapped around his hand like a rosary. Sometimes he brings it to his lips. He rocks and cries, missing Dean so much he can do little else.

He returns the necklace to his resurrected brother like an eager promise. Our love is eternal, Dean. I know that now.

Sam occasionally takes the amulet into his mouth while Dean fucks him. His tongue plays over the grooves while the slick heat of his brother's body finds his center again, and again.

There is nothing ordinary about us, Sam muses feverishly, teeth digging into the metal and shouting his brother's name as he comes.

Another day, Dean sheepishly confesses that he removed the necklace before he and Anna had their tryst in the back of the Impala. Sam thanks him and turns away. That night, Sam cries himself to sleep.

"It burns hot in God's presence," Castiel informs them, insisting he needs to cadge the amulet for awhile. "May I borrow it?"

Dean's instant and throaty "No!" makes parts of Sam burn hot too.

When the angel departs with the necklace, Sam feels slightly betrayed.

The amulet makes a soft chingwhen it hits the bottom of the trash can. Sam watches his brother stalk dejectedly towards the Impala, not looking back. Sam knows that by throwing away the necklace, Dean tacitly admits defeat.

Sam wasn't prone to panic attacks, but he cannot deny the pain in his chest, his inability to breathe. He feels like Dean has thrown him away.

Sam doesn't hesitate to fish the amulet out and stuff it into his pocket. He knows the amulet's work can't possibly be done.