Disclaimer: I don't have any claim on that dinner of...stuff... there. I FINALLY did it.

Claimer: I claim your macadamia nut cookies.

HEWWWO! Wi wam walking wike wis cwuz wit wis wute. Actually, I was babysitting my cwouisn..cousin... a bit a week ago and the babytalk got stuck in my head. I never undertood this thing with w's... I'm pretty sure this is why I threw up on people when I was little. That, or they didn't realize what the food tasted like. Question of the chapter: Why must we torture or babies so much? the food, the lack of choices, the embarrassing talk. I thought we were supposed to love babies!

With further distraction, KUMQUAT! I had to do that...

okay i

will

start

it

.

.

.

NOW!

xirtalleb iz strange... aka that clumsy girl from twiwite... tlilight...tririte...ah just forget it.

1. Let her read the Twilight series and let it be known that the clumsy muggle that likes that sparkly 'vegetarian' is based off how others percieve her.

2. Send the rabbit from the Trix sommercial some after her. Yes, he may try to eat her, I mean Bellatrix=trix=yogurt, she must edible. Or, it might be trix=twix, which would explain why the kids would want her.

3. Kill the Dark Lord... nevermind, too late! Maybe we should give her a t-shirt commerating the act? Oh yeah, abuse for the advancement of financial profit! Next step. keychains! then snowglobes! Then songs! That get turned into kidzbop... yes, she may have a cd. A lot of them.

4. 'Not my daughter you bitch!' Point out that this way the most epic part of the battle, not her dramatic 'CRUCIO!', no matter how many times you say it, bitch please!

5. Trixie, trixie... my dear, you are in need of a new image. For starters, all this black! Sparkles are, like, SOOO the new Black! See, I bedazzled your clothes for you, aren't I such a nice little girly girl!

6. Turn her into a human twitter.

7. Bellatrix=Twixie=CRUCIO!=Torture=tortoise=turtle. Therefore, Bellatrix is a turtle. Turtles, as of yet, do not know how to do magic. Therefore, she has no use for that wooden stick-thingy... however, I am a Muggle=mug=coffee=awesome=witch. As a witch, I do need a wand. So I, of course, am totally justified into taking yours, bye Bells! Tootles! La di da!

8. I wonder how easy she'd find it to participate in killing sprees in neon stillettos with a permanenet sticking charm...

9. The next step of devotion: to BE your lord. Try to imitate him... the first thing to go would be that nose... what, isn't it an ear for a nose or something? (though she didn't do that to george, she would have...)

10. You know what, she needs help! Let's give her freud as her pyshciatrist in Umbridge's (Whoops! Umbitch, sorry!) office... wandless, obviously, I already stole it, weren't you paying attention?

So, even if you absolutel hated it, thank you for taking the time to read my... uhhh... what is this? I'm open to flamers if you really think this... not really a story, but something...deserves one, than by all means go ahead! Just, please take the time to review what you thought, since I actually do like to hear whatever it is you really think and take it into account!

Kumquaticussepidus,

MidnightSapphire15