A one-shot for Texancoconut51, this is her favourite word. I hope she likes it.

Disclaimer- not mine, no profit, no sue…

Opossum

"It's not fucking funny!"

"But it is Pete, it really is!" James and Sirius were in a helpless clump on the floor, unable to do anything but cackle and roll on the floor. Sirius' long hair trailed on the floor as he held his sides and screwed his eyes shut, just when he thought he had himself under control he would take one glance at Peter and start up again. There was something about the way his blonde hair pointed in all directions and his cheeks flashed a horrified purple. James was helpless with laughter, he laughed so hard that he hit his head on the bottom of his bed.

"Ow, fuck!" Peter seemed somewhat pleased with that but his happiness was short-lived as James continued to laugh.

"What's not funny?" Remus asked as he breezed into the room, stepping lightly over the mess of socks, undies and James and Sirius strewn about on the floor. He took off his scarf and deposited his book bag on his bed.

"I could have been killed!"

James and Sirius laughed louder.

"It was horrible, Moony! I could have suffered real physical and psychological harm!"

Sirius was snorting, and James sounded a lot like Muttley.

"It all sounds quite terrible, Pete. What happened?" Remus asked in his most reassuring voice.

"Well, I was scoping out parts of the grounds for the summer prank, and I thought it best to do so as Wormtail. I was minding my own business, searching and snooping when… oh, God it was terrible."

The laughter behind Remus seemed to reach a crescendo.

"It's okay, Pete, what happened?"

"T-there was an Opossum… and , well… It tried to violate me."

Sirius and James were silent, waiting to see how Remus would react. His eyes went wide.

"So, you were nearly…"

"I WAS NEARLY RAPED BY AN OPOSSUM!" Peter yelled at last.

Remus' lip twinged, his body convulsed, his face went red and his eyes watered, finally he let out a loud guffaw.

"I'm sorry Pete, it is kind of funny… in a kind of way…"

"It's not funny, I received unwanted amorous advances from a white beast. That thing was like a cat with rabies, a personal hygiene problem and a severe psychological disorder!"

"I am sorry, Pete… it's just… well, that was the last thing I expected you to say."

Remus elbowed Sirius and James in the ribs hard.

"Ow, fuck, Moony that hurt!" Sirius whined. A hard look from Moony soon had both boys apologising.

"Let's get dinner, shall we?"

Finally Peter seemed heartened, as he and James lead the way out of the dormitory.

"I probably shouldn't have laughed." Sirius whispered to Remus.

"No, we shouldn't have…"

"But it was kinda funny."

"Not for Pete."

"No, not for Pete."

"I mean, how would you like it if you were walking along minding your own business and someone just came out of nowhere and started snogging you?"

"Depend who it was I suppose, Moony."

"What if it was a bloke?"

Sirius was quiet for a minute, as though he were wondering whether to say what was on his mind. Finally he muttered, "I direct you to my previous answer."

"What?"

"It would depend which bloke, how I would react, I mean…"

Remus made a vague sort of "oh" noise and seemed to stare off into space a bit.

"Moony! I just confessed my sexuality to you and all you can say is 'Oh?' Really?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I dunno… you're not freaked out."

"No… I'm confused."

"Confused? Why?"

"Well," Remus said as he pulled Sirius aside to a secluded piece of wall-space, "I'm wondering if this means I should kiss you."

Sirius' brain made a strange sort of crunching noise inside his head, and he wondered if he had had an aneurysm but then soft lips were on his and soft hands were on his body and soft breath ghosted across his cheek and he was certain that his brain would seep from his ears any minute now because Remus was a brain-meltingly good kisser. Or maybe this was how it felt to get what you wanted… he wasn't sure.

But it was awesome in a scary kind of way.

Though it wasn't as scary as the look on McGonnagal's face when they finally came up for air, and it wasn't as awesome as the warm feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when Remus took him by the hand and led him to McGonnagal's office.

"Much better than an Opossum…" Sirius whispered.

…

If anyone else has a favourite word they think I could make a fic out of, and if they want me to, leave it in a review… S.M x