An Unexpected Return

When Alex finds himself back at Brookland ten years after graduation, he finds out his name has yet to be forgotten. Oh dear. New students and old teachers alike might just have trouble wrapping their minds around the idea of a respectable Alex Rider, age twenty-seven, and not a gang member or a drug addict.

Disclaimer: People on this website have such snarky disclaimers that mock our supposed stupidity... I love it! Unfortunately, I have fresh run out of sarcasm, so I will simply say Alex Rider belongs to Anthony Horowitz, and not me.

Note: I've put So1said on a metaphorical pedestal for her tireless wading through my fragments, spiels, and diction crises in her editing efforts. You should, too. Gracias :)

Note Again: Andrew is Eagle. (Otherwise, you will be confused at the end.)

It was always the whispering that got on Alex's nerves. He could handle outright hostility just fine, but the vehemence that sprouted around him was too intangible for him to confront. Leaving Brookland was one of the happiest days of his life simply because he wouldn't have to deal with the sibilant gossip that followed him everywhere.

Having to hear it again was not conducive for a happy Alex.

However, as much as Alex wanted to punch something (or more longingly, somebody), he was better than that. So he put on his regular show of nonchalance, weaving through the throngs of gossiping teenagers. Passing by one group, Alex recognised the boy from earlier, James Hamilton, recounting the tale of the menacing stranger in Dr. Haynes' office. The boys who were eagerly devouring the story seemed familiar. Where did I see th– Kathryn's chemistry class, thought Alex. That must be how it's spread so fast. James turned in the middle of his expansive gesturing and caught Alex's glance. His eyes widened perceptively.

Alex stared contemplatively at James, as if making a note to himself, and nodded. James cowered. Alex smirked, slinking away as he heard whines from the other boys because of James' abrupt silence on the issue of the mysterious man. Smug with his intimidation, Alex decided he might try to search for Kathryn to spur her along instead of waiting for who knows how long back at his car. Is it down this corridor or the other one? Apparently I don't remember as much as I thought I did…

A spate of giggling and scuffing shoes distracted Alex.

"Hi, you look like you could use some help. Can I do anything for you?" Standing before Alex was a girl (or as she'd likely insist, a young woman), brunette hair framing her face in long waves, arms held akimbo on her short, navy skirt. Behind her, a cluster of five girls were snickering and sending lecherous glances his way. Even further behind them, others were wide-eyed at the girl's impudence. The girl's voice wrenched Alex's attention back to her. "I'm Felicity." She reached out her right hand to offer a handshake. "You're Alex Rider, right? I normally wouldn't introduce myself to anyone just like that, but if Ms. Bedfordshire let you in, you must be okay. So… would you like that help? Maybe I can show you to wherever you're going?"

Alex stared at her outstretched hand as if it were covered with poison. "No. I'm good."

"Oh, it wouldn't be any hassle at all! I insist, let me take you around school." Felicity's rejected hand reached out to lightly touch Alex's elbow. She stepped closer, other hand grasping the inside of his forearm. "I could show you the new additions to the school, and maybe you can show me your old classes, tell a few stories about your time at Brookland?" She smiled up at him, tugging on his arm. "Please?"

Alex pulled his arm out of Felicity's grasp, and stepped back. He really didn't know how to handle teenage girls. "I'm saying no," Alex insisted.

A pause, then–

"What, you think that goody two shoes Kathryn is better than me?" snarled Felicity, all semblance of innocent gone.

Teenagers haven't improved at all since I left school, lamented Alex, casting his eyes around in search of a way to quietly slip from the circle that now surrounded him. Regrettably, there wasn't one. He turned back to face the scowling girl.

"Listen, kid," growled Alex. Felicity bristled at the dig. "I don't know what you think Kathryn is to me, but whatever it is, you're dead wrong. Probably in more than one sense of the word. So, I suggest you get lost before I decide you're making yourself too much of a nuisance. Got it?"

Alex's threatening words had the opposite effect he desired. "Well excuse me, oh master of the criminal world," said Felicity, words dripping with sarcasm. "If Kathryn hangs around with you, you can't be more dangerous than a teddy bear– no, not even a bear. Maybe a soft, cuddly little sheep." She turned to the crowd around them and motioned back to Alex. "Aww, is it time for the poor gangster to be sheared?" A wave of laughs emanated from the clustered teens.

Calm down, calm down. You've faced worse than this. Much worse. What was it that damn psychiatrist kept telling him to do? Right, happy thoughts, happy place. The laughs turned to jeers at Alex's outward lack of response. Be the bloody embodiment of happiness. I AM HAPPINESS. His fists clenched when Felicity turned to him, victory in her eyes. Oh, the hell with happy thoughts. "Felicity, what was your surname? I don't think I caught it when you introduced yourself." A feral grin spread across his face as Felicity's smile slid off of hers. She realised she hadn't thought the whole 'taunt the dangerous gangster' idea through. As her idiocy dawned on her, she skirted towards the edge of the circle.

If anything, Alex's grin widened as the subtlety of her movement failed miserably. "Is someone scared of a little sheep? What's the name, Felicity?"

A voice in the crowd called out, "Blackwell, Felicity Blackwell!" She glared in the direction of the voice

"Such a lovely name, Ms. Blackwell. Now, because I am feeling… generous today, you will be let off with a warning. Should I ever hear you're making problems here, I may have to acquaint myself with your parents. How does that sound, Felicity?" She frantically nodded her head. "Good. I think we're done here."

"Hold it, Rider," a sharp, male voice rang out.

What now? groaned Alex. At this rate, Kathryn will be the one waiting for me, not vice versa. A weedy man stepped into the ring to accompany the vaguely familiar voice. However, it was the god-awful, pastel-colored, paisley tie on the otherwise commonplace suit that jogged Alex's memory. Mr. Sanders is still here? Blimey, he should have been fired ages ago! Worst English teacher ever.

Felicity ducked behind Sanders, eager to get out of the spotlight. Sanders turned to the teens, yelling, "Go home already, nothing to see here." Slowly, the students broke back into little cliques, busy with their friends, and seemingly out of hearing range. Only seemingly, Alex was sure.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Sanders," said Alex, with forced joviality.

"Mr. Rider, I will not have you coming back to Brookland Comprehensive to corrupt our students. It was bad enough that you nearly destroyed the school on multiple occasions during your time here, but should you bring that upon Brookland again through whatever twisted mentoring you are doing, I assure you, you will regret it. These are good children who need to stay far away from negative influences, much like you did. Both Ms. Blackwell and Ms. Chase are exemplary students. In fact, they even know the difference between metonymy and synecdoche, something you might have mastered had you ever joined us for class."

Alex was dumbfounded that Sanders still remembered his inability to tell the difference between the two. "It is a shame I never got the hang of it; after all, I use it every single day of my life, and it would be oh so helpful if I could keep the two straight. Silly, silly me." Nearby students tittered; they thought the same thing, but no-one could to stand up to Mr. Sanders.

"I will have none of your cheek, Mr. Rider," said Sanders, his face turning a lovely shade of bright puce.

"It's a bit late for that, Mr. Sanders," informed Alex.

"You will leave, Rider!"

An anonymous student shouted, "Hey, you can't do that to Alex Rider!" Murmurs of agreement rippled among the teens.

"Yeah, he's Alex Rider. He's, like, nearly invincible, and stuff."

"Aren't you worried about revenge or something?"

Mr. Sanders attempted to take back control of the situation. "There's absolutely nothing that could-"

"What if your house mysteriously burns down?"

"Yeah, he seems more like a pyromaniac than anything."

"But then what about the incident with the flooded cafeteria?"

"Hello, he's a gang boss. As if he'd do anything himself."

"Then no more cranes-"

"-and storm the school with his troops-"

"-with big clouds of smoke billowing above London-"

"-just like James Bond! Only so much cuter-"

"-why he hasn't been arrested, yet-"

"-well, duh, the prime minister knows-"

"-not so much a sheep. Maybe a lion cub-"

"-push drugs to keep us all dumbed down-"

"-said anything about robot invasions, you twit-"

No one was paying much attention to Alex, too involved with their gossip and imaginations. With one swift, unobtrusive twist to check his surroundings, he slipped through the cracks of the group, escaped to a clear hallway, down the stairs, and out the door.

Kathryn was waiting by his car with another girl when Alex approached. They both waved when they recognised him.

"What took you so long?" asked Kathryn.

"Nothing much, just got caught up in a few things," Alex changed the subject. "Who's your friend?"

"Natalie, meet my Uncle Alex. Uncle Alex, Natalie."

"Nice to meet you, sir," Natalie politely greeted.

"Don't call me sir, it's much too stuffy. Uncle Alex works just fine," said Alex, glad for some sanity to exist on Brookland property.

"Actually, I've got to go. Pleasure meeting you, Mr. Rider. Bye, Kathryn; talk to you later!"

With the departure of Natalie, Alex sighed and wearily got into the car. Kathryn noticed the fatigue her Uncle normally kept well hidden; something must have happened at school. Which meant bad news for her.

"I'm going to regret going to school tomorrow, aren't I?"

"Oh, be quiet, Katy."

Jason Chase, alias Snake, winced at the creak of the front door as he entered his house. It was late at night, and Kathryn should have been sleeping; hopefully, his wife was, too. Moonlight dappled the hall as he padded through the house, drawn towards a light in the kitchen. Snake peered around the door. As suspected, he saw a suit-clad figure at the kitchen table, leaning over a stack of manila folders and scrawling notes across the expanse of papers. Snake stood for a moment, savouring the sight of his trusted teammate so at ease. It had not been an easy road for K-Unit to get to their current level of trust.

"In case you were wondering, Jason, it's creepy to be stared at," remarked Alex, breaking the silence of the house. He lifted his eyes to meet Snake's, the pen clacking softly as he set it on the table.

"Sorry, sorry. Just enjoying the moment," Jason said, settling into a vacant chair. He ran an absent hand over his crew cut, trying not to peek at Alex's confidential files. Snake remembered when Eagle had tried months ago; a repeat of the incident would have been exceedingly stupid. "Katy's in bed?"

Alex nodded his head, "Yeah, and Sadie is holed up in your bedroom. Your wife made me promise to send you up as soon as I was done with you."

Snake raised his eyebrows, amused by the turn of phrase. "Done with me? What happened? I mean, thank you for taking Kathryn to the doctors, it really helped me and Sadie out, but I think we're even now. Or did something happen at the appointment?" Obviously it couldn't have been anything terrible; Cub-trouble either ended with a world saved yet again or blood raining from the sky. Not that that's ever happened, shuddered Snake. At least, not yet. But from what his missions are like, it's not too far off the mark.

"Not the appointment." Alex changed tack. "Remember that time back when I was still in school and got into a spot of trouble, and you and Ben had to come bail me out?"

"How could I forget?" chortled Snake. "You nearly flooded the entire first floor of your school! The worst part was that no one seemed surprised about it. God, that was an eye opener!" Snake shook his head in disbelief. "Wait, what does that have to do with anything?"

"You wouldn't happen to remember the school, would you?" Alex looked at Snake expectantly.

"Umm... I remember rusted grey lockers. The Headmaster was pretty nice. I think its name started with a 'b.'"

"Why, yes! It does start with a 'b!' Good for you! You know what? Since you're doing so good, I'll give you a clue to the school's name. It rhymes with 'crookland.'" The colour drained from Snake's face. "Does Jason have a guess?"

Snake swallowed, the Eagle Incident still fresh in his mind. He sheepishly whispered, "Brookland Comprehensive?"

"Give the man a biscuit! Spot on, Jason. Spot. On." Alex soundlessly scooted his chair closer to Snake's. "Since I see you are sufficiently frightened, I will leave you with this one thought. Revenge from Alex Rider is never a pleasant experience. Just ask Andrew." He abruptly stood up, swept together his documents, and left (not that Snake could actually tell; the door never squeaked on Alex's way out).

Snake sat at the table, fingers drumming nervously against the wood. Finally, he came to a decision.

He was never going to ask Cub for a favour again. Never.

FIN

Author's Note: Flashback to that time I heard high school freshmen argue over who would seduce the hot, new student teacher first. *sigh* And thus, the story is finished. First off, thank you all so much for reading! If you've posted stories before, you probably can empathize with the butterflies in the stomach and the smile that refuses to leave when you see someone has added the story (or you) on alert, reviewed, or even just read it. I really appreciate all reviews and cannot convey that enough.
Thanks again for your support, and leave me all of your ideas, comments, questions, criticisms, witticisms, and/or limericks!

NOTE (2-19-11): Various proofreading edits. Why did no one tell me I needed them? :(

P.S. One review I must reply to: crossMyheartHope2Spy- The fourth book is called A Conspiracy of Kings, and it's mostly from Sophos' POV. His characterization is a bit off, but his growth, the resolution, and Gen's role were both fantastic.

Note (4-6-13): Minor edits. And a plea to stop putting this story on story alert? I'm not going to add another chapter, or use another "chapter" to notify you guys about related stories... like The Eagle Incident! (Shameless plug.) It's flattering, but I feel bad because it's ultimately useless. Beyond that, thank you thank you THANK YOU ALL for continuing to review, favorite, and alert everything! It's a miracle that anyone's still reading and loving this story two years after its start.