Cho sat on a couch in the living room with a girl who stouted and looked exactly like Cho with Harry's eyes.
"Yes well I'm sure Ginny will be here soon and then we can clear the air and give Harriette a free ride in Hogwarts meaning no tuition" Harry said as Cho and Harriette muttered oh brother under their breaths.
"Hey this isn't easy for me ladies so keep all unclean comments to yourself. I mean what do you want from me?"
"Some money would be nice Harry I mean I've been chasing you for child support since you ran off with Ginny at your heels" Cho said wearing a raggedy dress with patches all over it.
"If you needed money why didn't you just send me an owl asking for it Cho? I mean I still care for you as a friend and Harriette is half mine".
Cho sighed as Harriette fidgeted on the couch hating the fact that A her mother made her dress up and B she was meeting a man her mom badmouthed for so long but didn't seem so bad.
"Daddy, dad, papa, pop, popsy whatever you want me to call you no offense but does it look like we're living the life of luxury?" Harriette asked snapping blue raspberry gum.
"Of course not but I didn't know how poor you guys were until today. I mean I'm not a mind reader Cho a little heads up would have been good".
"Harry I just didn't want to interrupt the life you had here with Ginny. I just want you to acknowledge that we do have a child together and a free ride into Hogwarts is a good start seeing I work there".
"There will be other things for Harriette Cho I just need you to know that you don't have to hesitate contacting me if you feel the need to. Next time without the howler if you don't mind?"
Cho, Harriette, and Harry laughed as the door slammed as Percephany and Lilah shrieked with glee over their new clothes and Ginny walked into the living room seeing Cho, Harriette and Harry hugging as she joined in laughing.
"Now who's hungry because I can conjure up a mean dinner but my muggle cooking does need work just ask my family" Ginny said as Sheppard came downstairs with cotton balls in her ears as Lilah and Percephany chased her with a boom box.
"Presenting the newest fashionista's of Hogwarts Lilah Granger and Percephany Weasley. Now for our first ensemble the Marry Me Jumper with Train" Lilah said as Lilah and Percephany turned their trains flinging into the air emitting fireworks.
"Taduh now for the woman who needs the comfiest PJ's Tiger and Lion Footsies with realistic growl. Plus if you tire of being a tiger or a lion their reversible so the tiger girl can be a lion and the lion girl can be a tiger" Percephany said growling like a tiger as Lilah growled like a lion.
"Next we have the invisible girl dresses for those pesky stains or if your targeted by a bully and need some desperate means of escape".
Lilah and Percephany turned invisible as Harry chuckled knowing his daughter like him would take advantage of being invisible.
"Cho meet Melanie our oldest the girl drooling over the guy on our front porch, Sheppard the girl with the cotton balls in her ears our youngest child, and Percephany the Tigress being our middle child".
"Great Gin looks like you and Harry have your hands full so Harriette and I will just be on our way and Harry I will hold you to that don't hesitate to ask you pact because Harriette needs things for school and you will be helping me pay" Cho said as Ginny blocked the exit out.
"Come on Cho you just got here and at least Harry's trying to take responsibility for Harriette and if he's slacking off let me know and I'll whip him into shape".
Cho gave in hugging Ginny as Harriette stared awkwardly at Harry and he hugged her not knowing what to do but this felt right to him.
"I'm so sorry I was never there Harriette but from now on I'll be there whenever you need me and I mean that so if you need anything you just-have-to- excuse me for a second Harriette I have fathering to do" Harry said storming onto the porch finding Thomas McArthur and Melanie kissing.
"Thomas McArthur if anybody needs help studying for OWL's it's you not my daughter. Now what I suggest is stop ogling my daughter with your eyes and lips and I don't know CRACK OPEN SOME SPELLBOOKS?".
Cho was impressed as Harry made Thomas's tongue 12 FT. long and Melanie stared accusingly at him as Harry shrugged walking back inside to spend more time with Harriette and Cho hoping to make their lives better.
"Harry are you going to be like that if Harriette starts kissing because if you are I've got to say great parenting".
"Melanie get your takuss in here and Thomas take you ogling eyes and giant tongue home maybe your witchy mother and muggle father can help you shrink it".
Thomas ran home mumbling goodbye to Melanie as she growled and stormed into the house staring at Harry her eyes like hot coals.
"Father I am fed up with you treating me like a baby I mean I'm your eldest daughter you know the oldest? In those years you have ran boys away, made me a tutor to witches and wizards, and named me future headmaster of Hogwarts if you retire or die".
"I think those are some pretty sweet perks if you ask me princess. I mean it's guaranteeing you a job after graduation. Hopefully by that time I'm ready to retire or take you on as my-"
"Apprentice yea, yea, yea I know we've been through this before and I told you that I want to live my own life maybe be a muggle instead of a witch" Melanie said reapplying lipstick.
"Mel do you have any idea how hard it is to be a muggle? I mean housecleaning, babysitting, being a stay at home mother or choosing a career? It's exhausting trust me honey I know" Hermione said ditching the wand and robes after school.
"Auntie Hermione I'm not saying it's a piece of cake but honestly have your parents ever chased a boy away because they didn't like them?"
"Well no but that's because they were rooting for me to fall in love I mean they were also extremely workaholics. My mum was a lawyer and my dad was a dentist so it was always hustling and bustling around the Granger household".
"Kind of like at home when we wake up late on the weekends right mama? My mama has an itinerary every weekend and if we don't follow it it's either cold water or Razzle the kitty waking us up Lilah said as Hermione smiled and nodded lifting Lila onto her shoulders.
"Yea but I have the opposite problem Auntie Hermione see I don't want to be a witch, I don't want Hogwarts, and I don't want to be looked at by people who think I'm a freak".
"Mel you have no idea how the real world works you were brought up by witches and wizards. I mean what would you do if your house was on fire?" Ron asked as Hermione chuckled knowing what Ron was like when that happened to them.
"Well I uhh- I- I- I- I- I- guess- I- would- no that wouldn't work, maybe- I'd just- no that wouldn't work either- damn this is hard- I know I'd douse it with buckets of wat-er ok that's a trick question.
"Not for a muggle like Auntie Hermione she called these people that had a red truck and a spotted dragon they put the fire out post haste with a thing called a fire hose. I even got a plastic badge".
"Ron I told you before that was no dragon it was a dog called a dalmation and I'm glad you remember Fire Marshall Sam and his plastic badge that he gave you".
"Yea if you want to state the obvious then yes we can call what you muggles call firemen. Ask me something else anything else and see what I do".
"Uncle Harry I saw this cool thing on TV the other day where a parent taught their kids the meaning of living on their own by staging a mock apartment. Maybe Melanie would like to try it."
"Maybe some other day Lilah today's your big day and I think we should celebrate that instead of teaching Melanie a lesson" Harry said as Melanie hearing enough walked off.
"Harry the little one might be on to something I mean Melanie thinks it's easy to be a muggle doesn't she? Why don't we show her what being a muggle is really like?" Cho asked as Harriette flinched knowing what Cho had in mind because she did it to Harriette.
"If it's anything like when I was taught the embrace the life of a witch lesson then Melanie's going to hate the heck out of everyone here. Screw it I'm in just put me to work" Harriette said as a huddle formed in the living room.
In a couple hours everybody was ready for the game to end all games in Lilah's opinion as Melanie skipped downstairs ready to head to Thomas' house to make sure he was ok after Harry's spell.
"Bye guys I'm going out to see if maybe Thomas and I can resume studying without Harry the wizard killer by our side" Melanie said as Ginny blocked the door shaking her head no.
"Melanie Weasley welcome to the life of being a muggle and since you think it's so easy we're going to show you just how easy it is young lady" Ginny said as Melanie noticed the house was full of her bedroom furniture, posters, spell books, and owl.
"Uhh ok what's going on mom? I mean you guys aren't seriously trying to teach me a lesson are you? Because if you are this looks like a piece of cake".
"I know not this mom you speak of I'm Mrs. Griswold and I own the bank two doors down young one. Now I'm looking for a Melanie Weasley I have a meeting with her for a loan".
"Alright I'll play along as long as it gets me out of this madhouse for a while. Here I am, here I am, Ohh I'm Melanie Weasley Mrs. Griswold".
"Great you're fifteen minutes late and that looks bad on me giving you your first loan honey. Now if you would follow me we can discuss collateral which is something you definitely need for a loan".
Melanie and Ginny walked past the kitchen where Hermione was stirring something in a pot and it smelled good to Melanie.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMM beef stew my favorite maybe after the meeting I can get me some because my tummy's grumbling".
"Yes well I'll try to make this meeting quick and painless because Emmie's beef stew just so happens to be my favorite".
Ginny and Melanie sat down at a desk horn rimmed glasses hanging on the tip of Ginny's nose a smirk on her face at torturing her daughter.
"It says here that you're a student at Hogwarts School For Witchcraft And Wizardry care to elaborate?"
"OK sure I was accepted there when I was seven because my dad and mom are legacies there. In my years at Hogwarts I've never fancied myself a witch I always wondered what the muggles were doing.
"Interesting and what are these muggles you speak of? I mean you aren't trying to hex me with a magic spell are you?" Ginny asked dipping a quill in ink.
"No Mrs. Griswold muggles are non-magic folk as wizards and witches call them at Hogwarts. See I want to be normal I don't want to embrace my witch/wizard blood" Melanie said as parchment was handed to Ginny by Lilah.
"Ahh Melanie meet my secretary Gertrude she's the one that decides if your loan gets approved so I'd kiss up to her if I were you".
"Mrs. Griswold after looking through Melanie Weasley's loan application I noticed she has nothing to put up for collateral so I would have to deny her for that reason" Lilah said taking a small desk in the corner of the room.
"That is unfortunate because regular non magic people need money for everyday things like food, cars, clothes, and a room and board".
Melanie stood up and stalked off for the kitchen where Hermione was serving a line of people beef stew and Ginny giggled following Melanie to the kitchen to watch her fail.
"Next please keep the line moving people lots of hungry patrons and a nice steaming pot of beef stew to warm them up and also quench their appetite" Hermione said as Melanie grabbed a bowl and ran to the pot as a wedge of bread and a nice hot bowl of beef stew met her.
"You're new here aren't you? Well you pay Mr. Wilson at the register then you can be on your way honey. By the way I'm Effie Wilson cook at the marvelous Chuck Wagon and I hope to see you again soon".
Melanie walked up to Ron where Harry who was smoking a cigar paid for his food and walked to a table where Melanie noticed Harry used real money which should have tipped her off.
"Next keep it moving pretty lady we have a line of people looking to pay here and I hope you have moneys as they call it here" Ron said as Melanie walked up to the register, heard a ding, then Ron looked at her pointing at her total.
"$12.00 and exact change please I can't give moneys back I never learned how to do that yet. Make it quick there's a long line here".
Melanie smiled slyly thinking she was smart gave Ron ten galleons, and two sickles as he stared at it in a weird way then he raised his head to Harry who walked up and noticed Melanie's foreign coins as he stared coldly down at her.
"Lady I know you're new here but is this some kind of joke? We don't accept counterfeit coins here just American money and I know you're not going to tell me this is American money" Harry said wearing a policeman's uniform cuffs on his right hip.
"Uhh no see Mrs. Griswold won't give me a loan because Gertrude said I have nothing to put up for collateral so I don't have American money. But this here is wizard money Ohhhhhhhhhhhh wizard money so cool right?"
"Young lady are you insulting my intelligence because if you are I can assure you that you're not going to win this fight".
"Ahh Mrs. Weasley so problems with your foreign wizard money? I could have told you that here in the real world we use real money none of that weird coin stuff that wizards believe in" Ginny said as Harry grabbed Melanie and put her in a room with bars on the windows and he locked her in.
"Laundering money is a crime young lady and so is insulting a police officer's intelligence so fifty million years and I hope you learned your lesson Mrs. Weasley if not those three will teach you real quick".
Harry walked off as Cho, Harriette, and Percephany growled and stood up with Melanie shrinking into a corner the trio punching their fists into their hands hoping it made them look tough.
"So newbie what are you in for? We killed twenty men we're called the Femme Fatale Trio and we're itching for another fight" Harriette growled snapping bubblegum.
"Don't mind her she's the bad cop I'm the good cop and her over there well she's the lukewarm cop and you don't want to get on her bad side" Percephany said pointing at Harriette and Cho as they were mentioned.
"I asked you a question new meat WHAT-ARE-YOU-IN-FOR? I mean you can speak English can't you?"
"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yea I can I'm here because I have no collateral for a loan so in order to eat I tried using wizard money and all of a sudden I'm here for money laundering and insulting a police officer's intelligence" Melanie said as Cho, Harriette, and Percephany made a face of pain.
"Ouch those are bad charges a fifty million year charge. We're in here for life because as Laney put it we're the Femme Fatale Trio and you should know all about us" Cho said as Melanie shook her head no and all the girls gasped in surprise.
"Well good you have no idea who we are now the rules of this cell are there are only three beds and that makes the trio the bed hogs you can have all the floor if you like" Harriette said as Melanie gulped seeing bugs crawl all over her new bed.
"Yea rule two don't fight with us because you'll lose trust us on that. There is nothing in the world that will make you stronger than us" Percephany said as Cho nodded flicking a lighter on and off.
"Rule three and the final rule any smokes that you get go to us before you get one. This is a very sharing cell and we intend on keeping it that way".
After Cho said this she rummaged through Melanie's pockets and found a pack of cigarettes as the two other girls growled seeing Melanie hold out on them.
"You-had-better-apologize-right-now-newbie-we're-not-called-the-Femme-Fatale-Trio-for-nothing-punching-bag".
Melanie shrieked running up to the door as Ginny no longer Mrs. Griswold wore a guards outfit eating Effie's beef stew the smell intoxicating to Melanie.
"Guard, guard help the Femme Fatale Trio want to kill me for not giving them my smokes. You can't let them hurt me you're a patron of the city" Melanie cried as Ginny sighed angrily and bashed the bars with her nightstick.
"Keep it down ladies I have had just about enough of the Femme Fatale Trio and newbie it's not my fault you're holding out on them" Ginny said putting headphones on to drown out Melanie's cries.
"Lights out ladies and if you didn't get dinner well that's not our fault you should have spoken up. And Newbie if you want to apologize to your parents they're in the visiting room and I've got to say your dad is a great looking man" Harry said as the cell was in darkness with Melanie being led around by Harry.
"Here we are now make this quick because technically you're not supposed to be out after lights out and if Natasha finds you she's going to wring both our necks"
Melanie ran into the room hugging Ginny, Harry, and the rest of her family sobbing she was wrong as they all hugged her and smiled.
"Being a muggle's not as easy as it looks is it? I mean you make it sound easy but you never tried it and until you do don't tell us how easy it is Mel" Hermione said as Cho, Harriette, and Percephany walked up and Melanie shrieked still scared by her cellmates.
"Well I'd say we scared her for life so a life as a witch it is and all's well that ends well" Cho said as the others group hugged Melanie moving all her stuff back into her room.
Well that's it for now I got the idea for this chapter from The Cosby Show I just added the being in jail part because I thought it would be funny. So R&R my fans and peeps.