A/N: Please read bolded parts before reviewing.

Hey, guys. AGU at your service. I haven't been writing recently, but I'm back for a bit. I think I might be more active over winter break. So yay.

Happy Hanukkah, by the way! My mom hasn't gotten me anything yet. What a Jew. LOL

My dad got me a Craig hat, though! FFffft! It's sexy. I'm hoping for a new computer or a new iphone, but knowing my parents, that wont happen. At least until my birthday. (Which is next month, FFFFUCKKYEAHHH)

Okay, onward, I wrote this sexy piece of literature in class, which was ever so slightly awkward, cuz I felt like people were reading over my shoulder.

This is KyAn. So, Kyle is the seme and Stan is the uke. Before you complain of OOCness, let me explain:

Kyle is not the giant uke that everyone makes him up to be. Sure, he's sweet, but he's also stubborn. He has a hotheaded temper and he's beat Cartman's fucking ass on multiple occasions. I can understand where he being the uke started, as Kyle is quite emotional and eloquent in a way, but to me at least, Stan's personality is much more uke-ish.

Now, I know that Stan is a 'jock', but just because he can throw a ball around doesn't mean he has to be on top. Stan is extremely sensitive. In "Kenny Dies", Kyle is shown being much more emotionally put-together than Stan. When they visit Kenny in the hospital and Stan runs out, Kyle runs after him, trying to get him back inside. At a point in the scene, Stan turns away from Kyle and Kyle immediately grabs him, saying, "Look at me!" At this point, Kyle was acting like much more of a seme.

As for Stan's personality, he is the most sensitive of the four boys. It seems to me that he might have a depressive disorder of some sort, seeing as he overreacts drastically to many situations, i.e. "Raisins", "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride" "Guitar Queer-o". I think Stan is a little more girly than Kyle. In many episodes, he is shown having a great amount of compassion for animals. In "South Park is Gay" Kyle is the only one who wants to stay boyish, while Stan gives into the meterosexual fad. He also seems to start to understand 'girl talk' in "The List", i.e. "That doesn't sparkle with her, does it?"

**** I don't have a reference for this, but I know for a fact that Trey Parker has commented that Stan is the 'most likely to become gay' of the four boys.****

Okay, enough with my rant. Keep this statement in mind, and please review. I'd love to know what you think, since Kyan is so rare and I couldn't really find examples to learn from. Thanks so much.

-Agent Green Ushanka

(Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.)

"Hey, dude, what's taking so long? I need to shower too!" I hear Kyle yelling from his bedroom. I lift my head up from my cellphone, quickly thinking up something to say, "Uhh, just a second, dude." I state lamely, fumbling at my phone's keyboard to text Wendy, "hey bby, kyles getting antsy. g2g, ily 3"

I'm able to press the send key just as the bathroom door busts open.

I curse loudly, quickly pulling up my towel which had lazily fell below my waist line.

"Kyle, dammit! Ever heard of knocking?" I say, staring at the redhead before me. He's returning my gaze with two angry dark green eyes, which glint their focus from my phone, to my eyes, and back.

"Wh-I-uh.. you were just in here for awhile after you finished your shower, I.." He trails off, not wanting to start yet another fight about my girlfriend. We both sigh silently, keeping eye contact and almost exchanging a wordless conversation. He runs a hand through those glossy red curls of his as I bite my lip, speaking up, "S-sorry, I-" I'm unable to finish as Kyle suddenly furrows his brows, giving me a glare, before lunging straight at me, pinning me flat against the bathroom wall.

I twitch a bit, closing my eyes shut and expecting a beat down. Ky was unexpected like that he had a temper to match his fucking hair, that was for sure. I had planned on letting him throw a couple of punches; after all, I was kind of being a dick, ditching my best friend to text Wendy.

I reluctantly pry my eyes open to reveal Kyle, who was at the time clad in just a t-shirt and boxers, not beating my ass to death, but standing in front of me, his arms pinning mine down, our faces only fractions of an inch apart. I shutter, feeling his warm breath tickle my lips.

"K-Ky.." I manage to whisper. It's so soft that it's near the point of mouthing, but Kyle catches it. His breath hitches before he crashes his lips on mine, his left hand traveling up to my jaw line. I moan out a protest against his lips, trying to push him off with my free hand. He pulls away, giving me a needy look with his slightly misted eyes. I stammer dumbly, trying to think of something to say, "K-Kyle… What… I- dude…"

I stop making any sense as soon as Kyle moves a hand under the towel that had been loosely tied at my waist. He smirks as his long fingers wrap around my length, causing me to let out a loud, "F-Fuck!" He begins to stroke at my member, bringing its limpness to life. I moan softly, wrapping my arms around my taller friend's shoulders, "K-Kyle, god! What are you – nngh- doing?" I ask, my breath becoming erratic as Kyle picks up his pace. My damp towel had pooled around my feet and was quickly forgotten. I curse again, moaning loudly as Kyle pumps me, slowing down, and speeding up, as to tease me as much as possible. He stops suddenly, causing me to protest a bit. He just hushes me down as he peels his green t-shirt off and throws it on the bathroom floor, pulling me into a burning kiss, filed with years and years of sexual tension. Then, something clicked for me. Something told me I wanted this more than anything I've ever wanted before. Our tongues begin to wrestle fiercely at each other's as my hands roam Kyle's body, finding the swelling bulge in his boxers and immediately groping at it. Kyle lets out a husky moan, pulling away from the kiss with a sly smile, letting our foreheads softly collide. I move my lips down to the end of his jaw line, slowly sucking and biting my way down his throat and chest, stopping to leave red marks where I could. I come to a kneeling position, ghosting my hands over his pale chest. Kyle lets out a drawn-out sigh, running a hand through my stygian-black hair as I trace my fingers down his abs to the cooper trail of hair starting below his navel. I smirk, dragging my tongue over the clothed bulge in his boxers. I feel him twitch a bit as I continue to tease him through the fabric. I pull away momentarily, hooking my thumbs in the hem of Kyle's boxers and moving them down slowly, making the redhead's hips buckle eagerly.

Kyle's dick happily springs out of its confines. I gawk at it, slack-jawed, slightly resisting the urge to crack a Kosher joke. Kyle snorts, "Well?"

I smile, wrapping my hand around his manhood and taking its head into my mouth. Kyle moans softly, tightening his grip on my hair and thrusting his hips a bit. I swirl my tongue around a head, pulling off of him to drag my tongue from the base to the head, keeping contact minimal to tease him. I begin to pump him with one hand, progressively taking more and more of him in my mouth, "S-Stan.." He groans, making futile attempts to keep his hips still. I feel Kyle's knees go weak as I start to hollow out my cheeks and bob my head up and down, gradually picking up pace. I take all of his length in my mouth, burying my nose in his infamous 'ginger pubes'. Kyle lets out another loud moan before pulling me off of his dick with a loud 'pop', leaving me panting , a rather long string of spit still connecting me and Kyle's wet cock.

He smiles, picking me up and kissing me rather harshly. I moan softly against his lips, pulling him closer. Kyle breaks the kiss, moving his lips to my collar bone, nipping and sucking at it. I feel him pushing at me, wanting to move to the floor. I abide, lying on the cold tile as Kyle straddles my naked body. He smirks, holding his index finger to my lips. I take it, twisting my tongue around his finger and grabbing unto his hand, beginning to lick and suck on his soft hands, keeping my deep blue eyes focused on his green ones, blush threatening to warm my cheeks.

Once I've given his fingers the same treatment I gave his dick, he moves in to catch my lips in a soft kiss, gently probing at my mouth with his tongue. My breath hitches as he slips a finger into me, I give a soft mewl, probably furrowing my brows. He adds a second finger, slowly moving into a scissoring movement. Kyle catches all of my painful gasps and moans with his lips, hushing me down as he adds a third finger, starting to move rapidly. I catch my breath as he removes his fingers from me, having stretched me out sufficiently.

"Stan," He says gently, moving my legs over his shoulders, "Tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?" I nod quickly, biting my lip as he positions himself. "Okay, ready?" He asks, his big green eyes searching mine.

"Y-yeah." I say, taking a sharp breath of air as he slowly eases inside me. I shudder at the pain, letting out a strange noise. "Stan?" One of Kyle's hands moves up to my face, caressing me softly, "Move." I mutter, breathing slowly and closing my eyes shut. Kyle abides, moving leisurely into me. A moan escapes my lips as the pain rapidly changes into pleasure. Kyle had begun to pick up his pace, I let out another breathy moan, gasping out Ky's name as he drove deeper, hitting my sweet spot.

I hear him chuckle, drawing closer to me and sucking at my neck, moving one of his free hands to my dick. He pumps me at the same pace of his thrusts, which was rapidly increasing. His breath is erratic in my ear as he mutters something that sounds like Hebrew. I moan again, feeling my climax coming closer, "F-fuck! Kyle!" I cry out. He grunts softly, giving my cock a gentle squeeze that sends me over the edge, coming on both of our chests. Kyle thrusts a few more times before releasing inside me. He pulls out, lying down next to me and smiling, our breathing both in erratic patterns as we stare at each other.

Damn. That's all I can think to say.

Hmph. So. Yeha.

Kyle: Whoa, dude. I'm fucking awesome.

Stan: Why does my butt hurt?

Me: ...*runs away*

I don't like to beg for reviews, but, nyeeeh, fuck you guys.(3)

Agent Green Ushanka feeds on reviews. Don't let him starve to death.