Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!

A/N: These are some drabbles that go along with my Merlin/Morgana fanmix, which can be found at my LJ, inafadinglight.

01. "Haunted" - Taylor Swift

As far apart as they are, the memory of him still manages to haunt her. Having been banished from Camelot, she has taken refuge, along with her sister, in Cenred's kingdom. She suspects his hospitality has everything to do with Morgause's charms and very little to do with any hope of yet another conquest on the as-yet-unconquerable city. Cenred prances, Morgause fumes, and she . . . she languishes, caught in a limbo between a world she once despised and a life she mistakenly thought she'd treasure.

Occasionally, driven by a destructive curiosity, she ventures into Ealdor, leaving in the early morning when it is easy to slip past the guards. She watches from the forest, watches as his mother goes about her daily tasks. She is a remarkable woman, resilient in the face of hardship, always ready to offer a smile or a helping hand to a neighbor.

It's mornings like this when she thinks she could have turned out like Hunith. They're made of the same old stuff, but forged in different flames. One bound for toiling under the sun, for finding richness where there is so little and creating happiness out of nothing but a full belly, a sky full of stars, a loving family; the other bound for a life of royalty, of intrigue, of deception, and ultimately of villainy. Perhaps Hunith was strong enough to not stray from her path, even though she was all alone. Perhaps it was her son who kept her fighting.

Is it not ironic then, that the man who has saved one lies at the heart of the other's wickedness?

02. "Night of the Hunter" - 30 Seconds to Mars

Her revenge comes in the form of a seven-year-old boy.

He has raven-black hair and ice-blue eyes. His cheekbones. Her smile.

No one else notices, but he catches sight of them in the middle of a Mercian market, and why else would they all be here, in this particular village, at this particular time, on this particular day, if not for Fate? Although he and Fate have never quite seen eye to eye . . .

Breaking away from Arthur and his cohorts, he trails them until the boy eventually eludes the eye of his ever-watchful mother. Bending to a knee, he stops the boy running past with a gentle hand to his chest.

"Where's your father?" he asks kindly.

The boy looks up, eyes wide at the stranger. "He's dead, sir."

"Your mother, then."

The boy jerks his head to where she stands, pretending to be absorbed in a jeweler's wares.

He frowns, finding it hard to even look at her. "Do you know who I am?" Off his head shake, he says, "I'm Merlin, Camelot's sorcerer. Have you heard of me?"

To his dismay, the boy takes a step back. "Mother says I should never speak to you. She says you're not to be trusted."

"Calm down, I won't hurt you. I only want to know your name."

He looks at him warily, and his heart breaks faster than he had ever thought possible. An immense sadness settles upon his chest, but he lifts his hand to release the boy.

"Balin," the boy frowns, uncertain, "my name is Balin," before running off to rejoin his mother, who welcomes his return with a knowing, effervescent smile.

He stands again with a heavy sigh. She looks the same as ever, a little earthier but still a vision of beauty. His breath catches as she turns and her eyes meet his, and he has to know.

Balin? he asks, trusting she can hear him.

She smiles. For his grandfather.

03. "You Already Know" - Train

It isn't until he sees her on the throne, crown perched on her head, that he realizes how far gone she is. Arthur is heartbroken when he hears the report, devastated that the woman he treated as a sister would betray him in such a way. But Arthur's grief is nothing to his own, which rises up like bile and chokes him until he has to retreat to a copse of trees in order to break down and weep in solitude.

For all his selective wisdom, the damn dragon never told him about this. He'd warned him about her future villainy, but had never breathed of word of how his heartache would overwhelm and threaten to cripple him. The cracks in his heart forge deeper when he considers that no one will ever even know.

The prophecies speak of his wisdom, of her wickedness, and yet where is the chapter devoted to their tragic, unrequited love? History has no use for a complicated, misunderstood villainess, he supposes, or a love-hardened sorcerer. It's that moment - tears staining his cheeks, hidden against the trunk of a tree - when he understands that his grief is not only for her.

04. "Currents" - Dashboard Confessional

He whispers her name like a prayer, or, more appropriately, a spell that requires much care in order to be coaxed into being. Yes, he says her name like a spell, and the warmth in his eyes is akin to the comforting glow of magic.

He kisses her like there's no tomorrow, as if they're the last people on this earth. He holds her like he won't ever let go, as if the world would disappear if they simply believe hard enough.

It's only later that she wonders if he knew, if he had any inkling he would awake to find her gone, only later that she wonders if he's aware of his role in her downfall.

And she watches him in the scrying glass, watches him go about his daily tasks, a miserable expression on his face, convinces herself that he never knew. Because knowing would mean he let this all happen, let them succumb to destiny, and that's a thought she cannot bear.

05. "Sort Of" - Ingrid Michaelson

She doesn't belong here, and she's known that for a long time, even before her magic manifested. The rational side of her - the one that's sick of the fighting and the hypocrisy and all the damn lies - just wants to cut and run.

She can have a real life somewhere out there, with her sister, as they wait for her brother to assume the throne and restore the kingdom. And she has every opportunity to do so. She could flee in the night, ensure that her darling father never sees her again.

But something - someone - ties her here, keeps her in a place she hates simply because there is a possibility of seeing is face each day. The sad, secret truth is that an independent-minded, strong-willed woman like herself comes unraveled when he's near, and the truth is that he no longer cares.

06. "Skinny Love" - Bon Iver

He nearly breaks under the weight of her lies.

Her stories get more convoluted, her tales more difficult to corroborate, her tracks trickier to cover up. She must be doing it purposefully, he decides, to test him, see how far he can be pushed before betraying her yet again.

But she doesn't seem to realize that he does it all for her. He has the extraordinary curse of loving his enemy, but he is determined to bear the burden stoically. Maybe, because of this, no one will speak of her as anything save for his sworn nemesis, the woman whose black heart shed darkness on his world, the woman who hated him above all else.

But the alarmingly sad truth is that darkness and light, hatred and love, are two sides of the same tarnished coin.

07. "I Saw" - Matt Nathanson

He tells her over and over again how she will be okay, how magic is not a thing to fear, how she can trust him to keep her secret.

Yet the lie is in his eyes.

She will not be okay.

Magic is a thing to fear when your guardian is Uther Pendragon.

She cannot trust him, cannot trust anyone, has been foolish to tell him all this.

But she tries to believe him, tries because he sends her to the Druids, because he takes the time to bring her flowers, because he smiles at her even though he sees the real her.

It's not until they're locked in the throne room, hiding from the Knights of Medhir, that all her blunders and confusion come to a head. She'd always believed he would be the one to save her, to rescue her from the perilous edge, and here he is opening his hand and letting her fall.

08. "Addicted" - Kelly Clarkson

Sometimes, he all-too-easily forgets that she's still human. The murder and the smirks and the evil schemes can overshadow the woman he knows is still buried inside. She likes to remind him of this with kisses that are gentle yet manage to knock the breath out of him, or with the way she insists on tending to him when he's injured, or with the way she runs her fingers through his hair.

And sometimes she tries to hide it from him, like the night she disappears into the forest for hours to weep over Agravain, Aglain's brother, fallen in a meaningless skirmish. Or when she avoids his gaze to prevent him from seeing her wavering conviction just before she hands out a difficult order.

It's taken so long, but he finally sees her, all of her - the determination, the frustration, the struggle and the conflict. Gwen, Gaius, Arthur, they don't see all that. They ask why he continues to love her, to hope for a happy ending, and he never knows quite what to say. She is the matching half of his soul, and to leave her, to stop loving her, would be to deny his own true nature.

09. "Basket Case" - Sara Bareilles

He can tear her down with just a look.

She hates his irritating sense of righteousness, and yet there's a sliver of her that realizes if he were ever to confront her with an ounce of kindness, he could crack through her mask of indifference and she would fall to pieces at his feet, toppled by remorse.

He used to be the only person she trusted enough to truly confide in. Now, even with her sister's influence, he's still the only one who could ever make her rethink her ways. He knows, and yet he's the same as everyone else - content to abandon her as a lost cause. She pretends it doesn't ache when he chooses to foil her plans with an elaborate counter scheme instead of simply talking to her, making an effort to understand. She doesn't know which hurts more - losing him or losing herself.

10. "The Mess I Made" - Parachute

He lies awake and wonders when his mistake is.

Was it the night he counseled her to seek out the Druids?

Was it the moment he chose to let Mordred go, for her sake?

The day he decided to not confront her about the crystal?

That awful afternoon when he chose poison over finding another way? (There is always another way.)

Or the night he saved her life, after nearly taking it? So many mistakes perhaps, all leading to one outcome. Every time he looks into her eyes, he can see the pain behind the hatred, the pain he has caused. If he is honest with himself, is this not his fault? Is she not of his own making, the product of his failings, the mistake that will haunt him until the end?

He tries to figure a way around it, but it all comes down to one thing, the truth that ties the guilt fast to his heart, and never lets him forget.