A/N: After writing my Cinderella parody, I decided to do another one. This one's based on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Tenten and the Seven Dwarfs

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a young maiden by the name of Tenten. Tenten was very beautiful. Her hair was a shimmering brown that she kept twisted into two buns. Her eyes were brown as well, although the shade was far richer than that of her hair. Almost like chocolate. Her most distinguishing feature was her pale skin. It wasn't so pale as to make her look sickly, but it was fair and white. And so, the people of the village had dubbed her 'Snow White'.

Tenten didn't mind the nickname. She thought it was pretty. She had heard about snow before. It was said to be the purest of white in the world.

Regardless of Tenten's beautiful features, she had a wicked stepmother who was incredibly vain. Every day, her wicked stepmother, also known as Queen Konan, turned to her mirror and say "Mira, Mira on ze vaal, whom is ze fairest vun of vall?"

The handsome face of the mirror's spirit would appear from the smoke, his orange hair dazzling against the dark background of the mirror, and say "You, your majesty, are the fairest one of all."

Konan would always be satisfied by these words. A smile would curl onto her lips, and she would go about her day.

Tenten meanwhile had been reduced to nothing but a hand maid to the queen. Still, her spirits were always high. As she worked, she would sing songs with the birds that landed around her in a crystal clear voice.

.xXx.

A mysterious figure entered the village that day. He rode in on the back of a magnificent white horse, his long brown hair flowing behind him like a cape. His lavender eyes were dazzling to all who met his gaze. Everyone knew this face. He was Prince Neji. Though he was a prince, he was the youngest, and so, had almost no chance to be on the throne.

Prince Neji wasn't one to let something like that get him down, however. Instead of striving to be the greatest, he would travel the world, meeting new people and seeing new places. Today, he was visiting Konan's palace. He had been invited by Queen Konan herself to attend a banquet with her.

Neji pulled his horse to a stop outside of the castle. He led the magnificent horse into the castle, and as he did, he got an earful of the sweetest voice he had ever heard.

He tied the horse up to a post and began to follow the sound. He came across a beautiful girl dressed in rags, singing to the birds while sweeping the cobblestone pathway. His lips twisted into a smile at the sight of her.

"Hello there." He greeted and walked towards her.

"Oh!" The girl jumped up and looked at him with eyes the colour of chocolate. Neji found himself frozen in his tracks at the sight of the girl's startled face.

"I'm sorry!" Neji told her. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He took another step towards her.

The girl jumped up and ran into the palace.

"Hey! Wait!" He called after her. But she was already gone.

Neji didn't see her again, and left the castle the next morning, feeling glum about losing such a beautiful girl.

.xXx.

"Mira, Mira on ze vaal, whom is ze fairest vun of vall?" Konan asked the mirror the next morning after the prince left the castle.

The face appeared inside the mirror. "It is not you, your majesty." The mirror stated.

Konan's face twisted in a look of fury. "Who is it?" She cried.

"Hair a golden brown. Eyes as rich as chocolate. Skin white as snow."

"Snow White?" Konan screamed at the mirror.

The face seemed to recoil slightly.

"But how?" Konan cried. "I dress her in rags, I don't let her bathe,"

"Ah, but your majesty, she has something you do not."

"And what might that be?"

"A pure heart."

Konan scoffed. "Well then I'll cut out her heart and feed it to the pigs!"

The face in the mirror stared emotionlessly out of its prison and faded away.

"ITACHI!" Konan called.

It only took thirty seconds, but then a man with hair the colour of wolves fur tied back in a ponytail entered the room and kneeled before the queen.

"Yes, your majesty?" the man known as Itachi asked.

"I want you to take that wretched girl,"

"Tenten?"

"Yes, Tenten. Take her into the woods, and cut out her heart! Bring it back in this box!" Konan held out a box.

Itachi stared at it.

"Go now! Or I will arrest you and you will be executed!" Konan ordered.

Itachi bowed again before taking the box and tucking it into the pouch at his waist. "As you wish." Then he left the room.

.xXx.

Tenten was sweeping the dust off of the cobblestone pathways again. She thought endlessly about that lavender eyed boy. Why did she run away? Did she want him to chase her or something? When she thought about it, he really was quite handsome. His hair was long and brown, tied back in a single ponytail near the bottom. And those eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. It was like looking at the moon.

"Tenten."

Tenten turned around to see Itachi walking down the pathway towards her.

"Hello!" Tenten smiled warmly at him.

Itachi's heart sank slightly. Why oh why did he have to kill such an innocent girl?

"Tenten, the queen has asked me to take you out. Please dress in something presentable." Itachi told her in a monotone.

Tenten's smile widened. "Okay!" She dashed off into the castle. Where could Itachi want to take her?

.xXx.

When Tenten had disappeared into the castle, Itachi sank to his knees in despair. Why was the world so cruel to him? He had lost his entire family to disease, his wife and children included. He was the sole survivor by a hair. He had come close to death after the disease struck the village. In the end, he survived by some miracle.

Now he was forced to do the bidding of a horrible queen and kill an innocent girl just for being fairer than the queen herself. Why couldn't an arrow just shoot from the heavens and take him out right now? It would save himself the pain and suffering.

Itachi stood back up to wait for Tenten to return. When she did, his heart sank even further. She looked beautiful in that lovely blue and yellow dress with the short yellow cape hanging across her shoulders.

"How do I look?" Tenten asked, twirling for him. She had even taken her hair down.

Itachi forced a smile. "Perfect. Let's go."

Tenten followed Itachi from the castle and into the street. She skipped along merrily, humming a sweet tune. All the while, a dark cloud was settling over Itachi's head. To kill this girl was to bring darkness to the world. That was what he thought. And he was the one who had to do it.

"Hello there, pretty lady!"

Itachi turned to see Tenten speaking to a young child. She had a smile on her flawless face.

"Hello there!" She said happily. "What's your name?"

"I'm Niko!" the boy said happily.

"I'm Tenten, Niko! It's nice to meet you!" Tenten patted the boy on the head.

"Here!" The boy held out a shiny red apple. "My mom and I picked them this morning! You can have one!"

"Oh thank you, that's very kind!" Tenten took the apple.

"Tenten, we must leave." Itachi called after her.

"Coming!" Tenten called. She bid the child farewell and went after Itachi.

Itachi lead her into the forest just outside of the village.

"Where are we going Itachi?" Tenten asked.

"I'll show you." Itachi told her. Oh he felt so dirty lying to the girl. She was too pure. She didn't deserve to be deceived.

They walked deeper into the forest.

"Hmm, this apple is so good!" Tenten cried.

Itachi looked at her.

Tenten held the apple out towards him. "Here! Share it with me!"

Itachi stared at the apple with surprise. He took the apple and took a bite out of it. It was good. Juicy, sweet and crunchy. He handed the apple back to her.

"Is it good?"

Itachi nodded.

"I told you so!" She took a bite out of it and held it back out to him.

What a sweet girl. Little did she know she was sharing an apple with the man who was about to take her life.

They finished the apple and tossed the core aside for the animals.

"Are we almost there, Itachi?" Tenten asked.

Itachi nodded grimly. "See that clearing up ahead?"

"Yeah."

"That's where we're going."

Tenten ran ahead of him.

"Hey! Wait!" Itachi called after her. She ran into the clearing.

"Oh Itachi it's beautiful!" Her voice called.

As Itachi stepped out into the clearing, Tenten threw her arms around him.

"Thank you for taking me here!" She whispered.

"You're welcome." Itachi told her. He cursed a million times in his head, using every cuss and bad word he had been taught not to use to explain his predicament to himself.

Tenten began to run through the meadow, examining wildflowers and various other things.

Itachi hardened his face. He had to do this. He had no choice. He reached for the dagger strapped to his thigh and pulled it from its sheath. He slipped it up his sleeve and approached her.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"I love it! Can you take me here again sometime?" Tenten asked as she turned around.

Oh the pain that had just stabbed into his heart at the sight of such a beautiful smile. Why oh why did he have to kill her?

"Yes." Itachi told her.

Tenten hugged him again. This was it. It was now or never.

Itachi grabbed her by her hair and threw her to the ground with the skill of a hunter. He pinned her there with a single hand and flipped the dagger from his sleeve, aiming it at her throat.

Tenten's eyes widened at the sight of the gleaming dagger.

"I-Itachi...Itachi why?" She gasped.

"I'm sorry..." Itachi said honestly.

"Itachi...Please..."

Itachi hardened his heart and brought the dagger straight down towards her.

.xXx.

Tenten stared at the sky, unable to breathe. She couldn't feel her heart beating. Was she dead? No... Tenten turned her head to the side to see the dagger Itachi had held over her moments before plunged into the earth beside her head. He had spared her life. She sat up and looked at the man who now sat in the grass with his head in his hands.

"Itachi...Why?" Tenten whispered.

"I'm sorry..." He gasped. "It was the queen. The queen ordered me to do it."

"W-What?"

"She ordered me to take you into the woods and cut out your heart and bring it back in a box." Itachi said, looking at the innocent girl in front of him.

"But why?"

"Because you're the fairest maiden in the land." Itachi replied.

"H-Huh?"

"Her magic mirror said that. The queen was jealous and ordered your death." Itachi stood up and grabbed the girl by the arm, yanking her to her feet.

Tenten yelped in surprise. Itachi grabbed her other arm and held her in place, staring at her furiously.

"Listen to me. I want you to run. Run, run away and never come back." Itachi told her.

"B-But..."

"When she finds out I didn't kill you, she'll kill me and come after you herself! Go! Run!" Itachi pushed her away.

"B-But what about you?" Tenten asked.

"I'll be fine! GO! NOW!"

His voice was so furious, Tenten couldn't object. She turned and ran into the forest.

"RUN!" Itachi ordered for the final time.

Tenten kept running. She ran and ran, deeper and deeper into the forest. Branches clung to her skirt, and grabbed her cape. She screamed in fright whenever she was pulled to a halt by a branch. She ran, eventually leaving the forest path and going into the deepest part of the woods.

Every nerve of her body screamed to go back, but the sight of Itachi's desperate face telling her to run kept returning and pushing her forward. Thunder boomed overhead and rain spilled down from the heavens, and yet, Tenten kept running.

"AH!" She cried out in shock as she tripped over a tree root and fell into the mud. She couldn't find the strength to get back up again, so she crawled beneath a tree and lay curled in a ball at its roots. She began to cry from everything that had happened to her. She cried for Itachi, praying for his safety. Eventually she drifted off into a deep sleep.

.xXx.

Itachi fled the village that night as well on the back of a black horse, a cloak covering his body as thunder boomed overhead, rain pelting down on him. He had deceived the queen. He had killed a pig and replaced Tenten's heart with the pig's heart. The queen had bought it.

"Well done, Itachi. You will be rewarded." She said.

"Thank you, your majesty." Itachi bowed to her.

"You may go."

Itachi bowed again and left the room. He made a beeline for the stables immediately and fled the castle.

Just as long as she survived, he would be alright. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that everything wouldn't be alright.

Itachi stopped at an inn and put his horse in the shelter. He stepped inside and was greeted by the warmth of a fire. He checked in at the inn and immediately sat down on the couch beside a man with long brown hair and a cloak over his shoulders.

"Terrible weather, is it not?" Itachi greeted the man.

"Awful. Haven't seen a worse storm in three years." The man said.

"Aye."

The man looked at him with lavender eyes. "Haven't I seen you before?"

"I don't think so."

"Were you at Konan's palace?"

Konan. That name pissed him off.

"Aye. I've left now though." Itachi replied.

"Why?"

"Just because I have." Itachi stated simply.

The man shrugged. "Fair enough."

The two sat in silence, staring at the hearth fire.

.xXx.

Tenten felt tiny weights all over her body. She let her eyes flicker open. The sun shone down from the canopy of trees. She sat up and yawned. She heard the sound of many feet on earth. She opened her eyes and saw every animal she could imagine in front of her.

"Oh!" She cried in surprise.

The animals booked it.

"I'm sorry!" Tenten said to the animals. "I didn't mean to frighten you!" The words sounded oddly familiar to her, but she couldn't place them.

"Please come back," She asked the animals.

The animals began to slowly creep out of the forest to study her.

"It's nice to meet you all!" Tenten greeted.

One of the deer bit her sleeve and tugged her to her feet. Birds flew around her head as the animals began to move all at once. Tenten followed them, skipping through the woods along with them. She eventually came to a tiny cottage.

"Oh, my what a cute house!" She ran over to it. It had a small door and small windows. Everything about it was miniature.

"I'll bet children live here!" Tenten said to the animals. She opened the door and went inside. "Messy children." She observed. "Look at this mess!"

Dishes were piled up in the sink, dust covered everything and the floor was littered with dirt.

"Do they even keep a broom in here?" Tenten's question was answered when she looked into the corner and saw a broom covered with spider webs.

"Now that's no way to keep a broom! I should tidy this place up a bit."

And with that, Tenten began to tidy up the house, singing a song to herself.

.xXx.

"Hi ho!" The sound of many men singing could be heard in the valley near the little cottage that Tenten was now cleaning up.

"Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work we go," The song continued. Seven little men marched in line with each other, pick axes, shovels, and various other mining equipment over their shoulders.

"Why do we always have to sing this stupid song?" One with black hair spat.

"Oh relax, Sasuke." One with brown hair and a huge smile on his face said. "We're sharing the joy of working!"

"Keh!" Sasuke spat.

One man with grey hair tied up in a ponytail gave a huge yawn. "I'm tired..." He groaned.

"You're always ACHOO! Tired, Shikamaru." A man wearing shades said, wiping his nose.

"I can't hear you singing!" A particularly chubby man called from the front.

A man with black hair cut like a mushroom suddenly turned red and began to laugh.

"GEH HEH HEH!" The last one said. He had blonde hair.

"HI HO! HI HO! IT'S OFF TO WORK WE GO!" The men sang.

.xXx.

Tenten stood in the middle of the room satisfied with the work she had done that day. She decided it was time to catch a bit of rest. She yawned and went upstairs. The stairs were so small! The entire house seemed to be designed for children! Even the bedroom!

"Oh..." she murmured. They hadn't even made their beds. Tenten put her hands on her hips and set to work making their beds. When she was done, she noticed the names on the headboards.

"Sleepy Shikamaru..." She murmured looking at one of the beds. "Sneezy Shino," She giggled. "Happy Kiba, Grumpy Sasuke!" She laughed. "Doc Choji, Bashful Lee, and oh my!" She giggled. "Dopey Naruto." Tenten flopped down on three of the beds and curled up under the blankets. She just planned to sleep for a few minutes...

.xXx.

"HI HO!" The singing started again as the sun began to set. The seven little men began to trudge on home. They sang the whole way home and they arrived at their little cottage. The men stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of their cottage. For some reason, the windows were crystal clear...

They entered the house and were in absolute shock.

"It's...Clean!" the chubby one gasped.

"It's all pretty fishy if you ask me!" The raven haired one spat, staring at the pot of soup in the hearth.

"ACHOO!" The glasses fell off the shady looking one. He picked them up and put them back on.

The bowl haired one began to trudge carefully up the stairs. He peeked in the bedroom and turned around, blushing and wiggling furiously.

"Guys! There's something in our beds!" he said.

The six other men ran up the stairs and looked into the room.

"Haaa...HAAAA!"

"SHINO NO!" The group cried.

The one called Shino relaxed for a moment. "ACHOO!" There was a violent windstorm inside the house for a moment.

"Bless you." The chubby one said.

"Thank you..." The glasses wearing one said.

The woman lying in the bed began to stretch and groan slightly.

"It's a monster..." The bowl haired one whispered.

The man with the spiky ponytail stretched and yawned. "What do you want to do about it?"

"Keh" The raven haired one walked right past them, wielding a frying pan. He stared at the 'monster' in the bed intently. The other six men followed with their weapons of assorted kitchen accessories including a spatula, a ladle, and a whisk. The blonde haired one had a toilet plunger.

"One...Two...Three!" The men practically attacked the bed, pulling off the covers to reveal a pretty woman. Her eyes widened in shock and then the toilet plunger smacked her in the face, sticking to it perfectly. She went limp.

"Naruto! You KILLED her! Oh woe is me!" The brown haired one cried. Tears began to stream down his face. A few others joined in the sob fest, except the raven haired one.

"She's not dead!" He pulled the plunger off her face. "See?"

.xXx.

Tenten looked around at the seven little men.

"Oh...well you're not children..." She murmured.

"Well DUH!" The raven haired one spat.

Tenten looked at him. "Are you Grumpy Sasuke?"

"KEH!" He spat and crossed his arms.

"Then...you men must live here..."

"Yes we do." The chubby one said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Tenten."

The bowl haired one burst out in giggles and began to wring his hands while blushing madly.

"I guess you're Bashful Lee?"

Lee wiggled uncontrollably and nodded.

"ACHOO!"

Tenten giggled. "Sneezy Shino!"

Shino wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded while sniffling.

"It's allergy season..." Shino muttered. "GACHOO!"

Thud.

The one with the ponytail was now on the ground snoring.

"Fluffy..." he snored. "Clouds..."

Tenten giggled. "Sleepy Shikamaru!" Tenten spotted one that was grinning from ear to ear. "You must be Happy Kiba!"

Kiba grinned further and nodded.

The last two stepped forward. One was chubby, the other had his tongue sticking out.

"Oh..." Tenten looked from the chubby one to the dopey...looking one. Tenten was worried about offending the silly looking one by calling him dopey.

"Uh..." Tenten scratched her head.

"Oh for crying out loud..." Sasuke stepped forward. "That's dopey!" Sasuke cried pointing at the idiotic looking one.

"Oh! So you must be Doc Choji!" Tenten cried.

Choji nodded with a smile.

Naruto was smiling at Tenten now.

"Dopey Naruto?" Tenten stated in a question.

Naruto nodded violently.

"You're such a dobe..." Sasuke muttered.

"GEE HEE HEE HEE!" Naruto laughed.

.xXx.

"Mira, mira on ze vaal, whom is ze fairest vun of vall?" Queen Konan asked the mirror the who-knows-how-many-times time.

The face appeared once again in the mirror. "It is not you, your majesty."

"WHAT?"

"'What' what? I'm just telling you how it is because you asked."

"Don't make me break you." Konan hissed.

The mirror flinched. "There will be no need for that, your majesty."

"THEN TELL ME WHO IS?" Konan cried.

"Over the seven jewelled hills, beyond the seventh fall, in a cottage small with seven wood..." The mirror trailed off. "Seven very IDIOTIC woodland creatures...Is where the fairest one of all resides."

"WHO is the fairest one of all?" Konan cried, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"Hair a golden brown. Eyes dark as chocolate. Skin white as snow."

"SNOW WHITE?" Konan roared.

The mirror flinched again.

"But I killed her!"

"Actually, you sent Itachi to do it."

"SHUT UP!"

The face disappeared.

"Where are you going?"

The mirror didn't answer.

Konan sighed and lifted the mirror off the stand and laid it gently on the floor.

"Mira, mira on ze floor, please return to reveal some more."

The face appeared. "Get lost." The face began to disappear again.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Konan slammed her hand down on the mirror and somehow grabbed the face by the nose.

"EEEOW!" The mirror cried. "Lech go ogh my noche."

"Then stick around."

"Fign, fign." The mirror said.

Konan let go of the mirrors nose.

"Mira, mira, vun so vise, tell me vhere the girl resides."

"Over the seven jewelled hills, beyond the seventh fall,-"

"YEAH YEAH! I know, in a cottage small with the seven woodland-"

"IDIOTIC!"

"IDIOTC!" Konan said with emphasis. "woodland creatures. Yada, yada, yada. Just tell me where she is!"

"Over the seven jewelled-"

"SPECIFICALLY!"

"...The next forest over."

Konan face palmed. "Why do I even put with you?"

"Because I'm so sexy."

Konan grabbed the mirror, shoved it into a suitcase and pushed it under her bed.

A muffled "HEY WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? GET ME OUT OF HERE!" tore from the enclosed space.

Konan rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. She would concoct a poison to kill Snow White. The door closed with a click.

Meanwhile, two shady figures sat in the closet.

"What are we doing here again?" One of them asked.

"Oh shut up and just go with it." The other said.

"But seriously? How did we get in the closet?"

The second figure went silent for a moment. "I don't know."

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're being controlled?" The first asked.

The second one scratched his nose. "...yes."

"Oh great. Fan fiction dot net got us again." The first one muttered.

"Well in that case, our author is off her nut!" The second one cried.

"So is her companion."

.xXx.

In some distant world, the companion looked at the author.

"How did they know I was here?"

The author shrugged. "Author plot hole." The author turned back to her keyboard.

.xXx.

Itachi and Neji stepped out of the closet into the queen's room.

"Whoa, wait a minute..." Itachi looked around. "Weren't we in the walk in closet at the inn?"

Neji furrowed his brow. "Yes..."

The two were silent.

"And she called that an author plot hole?" Itachi asked.

"Forget it. Now what?"

Itachi seemed to remember something. "Wait...I think we left the ice cream on the counter..."

Neji slapped him. "We're supposed to be rescuing Snow White!"

"Her names Tenten you idiot!" Itachi rubbed his cheek.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Neji rolled his eyes.

There was a moment of silence in which the two men heard muffled screams.

Itachi drew his dagger and put a hand in front of Neji.

"Stay back, prince. I'll handle this." Itachi ordered.

Neji looked at Itachi sideways. "Excuse me?"

Itachi looked at Neji out of the corner of his eye. "It could be dangerous."

"Well damn you!" Neji growled. He reached into his cloak and with a gentle shwing drew a three-foot katana.

Itachi goggled at the blade. "How do you conceal that?"

Neji shrugged. "It's a secret art taught to me by the masters of the gentle fist."

"The gentle WHAT?"

"It's on a need to know basis." Something rattled beneath the bed. The two men stared at the suitcase slowly slide out from under the bed, a hand tugging it along the rug.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me..." Itachi muttered.

"Don't worry, I know how to handle this." Neji stated. "Just chop off the hand, and all will be well."

Itachi looked at him. "And how do you know this?"

"I read it in a book." He said bluntly.

Next thing they knew, a mop of orange hair popped from the suitcase. The hair shifted to reveal a face.

The two men could only stare.

"Could you help me out here?" The person coming from the suitcase asked.

Neji walked forward and hooked the clip beneath his sword and flipped the latch. The suitcase popped open and the rest of the orange haired man came out.

"Give me a minute." He said, raising a finger. He picked the now empty mirror up and threw it on the floor. He stepped on it and immediately fell back into the dark void.

Neji and Itachi looked at the mirror, trying to see where the man went.

"Don't you have something to do?" The face asked when it appeared. It disappeared half a second later.

"HEY COME BACK!" Neji yelled at the mirror. "I have to ask you something!"

Itachi sighed and shook his head. "Neji, you're supposed to rhyme."

"I can't rhyme to save my life!" Neji cried.

Itachi sighed and lifted the mirror off the floor and placed it on the queen's bed.

"Mirror, mirror on the bed, tell us what to do instead."

"Oh you're kidding..." Neji muttered, his pride half broken.

The face appeared. "What you should do is stop the queen from making her poison."

"How will we do that?" Itachi asked.

"Eyes on the top of the head. Skin slimy as sludge."

"I KNOW THIS!" Neji cried. "It's a lizard!"

"It's a FROG you idiot!" The mirror cried.

"Oh thanks for your help!" Itachi cried. "Now what do we do with the frog?"

"Hey, I caught one!" Neji called jumping back through the window with a frog in his hand.

"When did you leave?" Itachi asked.

Neji went silent. "Yet another...technique taught to me by the masters of the gentle art."

"I thought it was gentle fist." Itachi muttered.

Neji pointed at Itachi. "That's classified."

Itachi turned back to the mirror. "Now what do we do with the frog?"

"Into a pot it must go!" The mirror cried in a fit of passion. "Where the queen's poison is boiling on low."

"On low?" Neji asked tossing the frog from hand to hand.

GRRRROOOOOAAAAA! The frog croaked as it hurled through the air.

"However, it won't work if the frog is dead..." The mirror muttered.

Itachi snatched the frog from mid air.

"Hey!" Neji cried. "Give back Frogger!"

Itachi looked at Neji sideways. "You are one weird prince."

"Yeah a lot of people tell me that..." Neji muttered.

"The queen's lab you will find in the basement." The mirror said and disappeared.

Itachi shrugged and picked the mirror up. He held it out to Neji. "Put this in your bag, and don't break it."

"We're bringing him with us?"

"Well he isn't staying here." Itachi shrugged.

The face appeared again. "Thank you sir!" He disappeared.

"See?" Itachi shrugged.

"Fine, fine." Neji shoved the mirror into his bag.

"What do you have in here?" The mirror cried.

"Uh, a hair brush, shampoo, and a bunch of hair ties."

"Nice." Itachi muttered.

"I was kidding about the shampoo part by the way." Neji said as they jumped out the window, heading for the basement window.

"Good," Itachi muttered. "I would hate it if you smelled like flowers while we tried to rescue a princess."

Neji shot Itachi a look. "For the record, my shampoo smells like strawberries. And you have no right to question my hygiene habits."

Itachi snorted. "Stop acting like an idiot and act like a hero."

Neji saluted. "Yes sir." He mocked.

Itachi face palmed. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Absolutely nothing." Neji replied.

"Boil bubble, toil and truffle, a poison I shall make, to put...to...put...Where's my book of rhymes?"

Itachi looked in the basement window to see the queen's retreating back.

Neji slid in beside him. "All right, I'll go in with the frog, and throw it in."

Itachi shook his head. He drew a slingshot from his belt. "Trust me." He put the frog on the slingshot. "This is easier." He let the frog fly.

Neji watched the frog fly in an arc above the pot and disappear on the other side.

"Nice shot." Neji muttered. "Now may I put MY plan into action?"

Itachi sighed.

Neji slid into the room and began to chase the frog. He snatched the frog off a table, but fell onto a shelf. A ton of books fell in cascade of literature as Neji threw the frog at the pot. It landed with a splash as the shelf fell on top of the defenceless prince.

Itachi stared at the fallen shelf with shock. "No..." He whispered.

The door whipped open. Itachi ducked back. "She's not dumb enough to not notice that the shelf fell over...is she?" He mumbled.

Neji watched from a hole in the shelf (he was stuck in a cavity of the shelf) as the queen dipped a red apple into the poison. It came out a sickly green colour.

"Nobody is going to be stupid enough to eat that..." Neji muttered. Then the apple turned a bright red. "On second thought, I know it's poisoned and I might still eat it."

"AND NOW!" The queen cried throwing her arms out in a flourish. "The first person to taste this apple..."

Crap...she found me...Neji thought.

"SNOW WHITE!"

Never mind. Neji thought to himself with relief.

The queen began to laugh her evil laugh and paper began to whirl around the room. When the dust had settled, the queen was an old hag.

"I shall take this apple to Snow White, and she will eat it and DIE!" Lightning flashed outside the room.

Itachi stared in horror at the tree that had just burned to a crisp.

"So this is the power of evil..." He whispered.

Queen Konan, now an ugly hag, turned and walked out of the room cackling madly.

Itachi threw himself through the window. "Prince Neji? Where are you? NEJI!" Itachi lifted the book shelf up off the ground to see Neji lying dead still on the ground.

"No..." Itachi whispered.

"BAH!"
Itachi leapt three feet in the air. "NEJI! You son of a gun!"

Neji laughed.

"Did you get the frog in the pot?"

"I think so. I didn't see anything different."

The two stared at each other.

"You get the horse, I'll get the supplies." Neji ordered.

.xXx.

Tenten placed a waffle on each of the seven dwarfs' plates. The dwarves dove into the waffle, devouring them in record time.

Tenten stared at the now empty plates. She hadn't even yet cut the fruit or given out the whipped cream. The can of whipped cream suddenly whipped from her hand. All eyes turned towards Naruto who was holding the can upside-down above his mouth.

Smack

Tenten clapped the wooden spoon on Naruto's head.

"That's rude, Naruto!" She scolded.

Naruto held out the whipped cream can, his head bowed in shame. Tenten smiled and took the can. She squirted some on her finger and smeared it on Naruto's face.

"PAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

Everyone's head snapped towards Sasuke who immediately clammed up and crossed his arms with a humph. "I should've gotten to do that." He grumbled.

A whistle sounded from the distance. The seven dwarves immediately stood up.

"Off to work with us!" Choji cried.

The dwarves scrambled.

"FREEZE!"

The dwarves stopped dead in their tracks, Naruto taking it too literally and sticking his head in the icebox. Tenten pulled Naruto from the icebox.

"You weren't really thinking about leaving without a goodbye kiss were you?" Tenten asked when Naruto got back in line.

Shikamaru yawned.

Shino sniffed.

Sasuke grumbled something unintelligible.

"Uh, I guess not..." Kiba muttered.

One by one, the dwarves lined up. Choji was first. He took off his hat allowing Tenten to kiss the top of his head. Then came Lee, who blushed furiously and ran from the house. Shino went next and just about sneezed, but Tenten gave him a handkerchief to stop him from sneezing. Kiba stepped forward next and didn't really do anything. Shikamaru looked like he was about to fall asleep again, but seemed to wake up afterwards. Naruto seemed very eager indeed. Last, was Sasuke who had sat in the corner, looking completely furious.

Tenten raised her eyebrow at him.

Sasuke glared at her.

A second later, Kiba and Choji grabbed Sasuke and dragged him forward. While he struggled, the other dwarves crowded around and helped keep him in place. Tenten finally was able to give Sasuke his goodbye kiss.

"Don't let anyone in the house, Tenten." Choji told her as the dwarves began to head out for the day.

"Don't worry, I won't."

Choji nodded and lead the dwarves towards the mines. Tenten closed the door and set about cleaning up the breakfast dishes.

.xXx.

Hooves thundered across the hard ground as Neji and Itachi raced into the forest after Queen Konan.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Itachi cried after Neji who had taken the lead on his white steed.

"Not really, but I have an idea." Neji called back.

"How sure are you?"

"Actually I'm just following my eyes."

"What?"

"It's an art taught to me by-"

"Yeah, yeah, gentle fist, whatever."

"Do not doubt me."

Itachi rolled his eyes. Was this prince for real?

"Are you a legitimate prince, Neji?"

"Uh yeah..."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Prove it."

"I am the seventh born in my family. Nobody really knows about me, but I do have the royal crest sewn into my underwear-"

"Okay never mind."

Neji chuckled. "That was a joke." He drew his katana. "There's a mark on the blade that shows I am the seventh born. You may not be able to see it from there, but seriously. Why did you need to as if I'm legitimate or not? That's like asking a doctor if he's a real doctor."

"Sorry, your majesty."

"Please, call me Neji. We're all allies here."

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Hurry up. I'm starting to get antsy."

Neji and Itachi kicked their horses to pick up the pace. Neji was getting worried too.

.xXx.

Tenten was just finishing up the morning chores when there was a knock at the door. Tenten stared at the door. The knocked echoed again. Tenten wondered what she should do.

"Excuse me? Anybody home?"

It was an old ladies voice. Tenten immediately wondered what was wrong and went to the door. She opened it a crack.

"Can I help you?" Tenten asked.

"Are you interested in some apples?"

"Oh um...no thank you."

"I have one right here just for you, dearie." The old lady pulled a red apple from her basket. "This apple right here is very special. One bite, and all your dreams will come true."

Tenten stared at it. She thought about the lavender eyed boy, and how she dreamed she could meet him again. She thought about Itachi, and how she dreamed he was still alive and well. She was very tempted to take the apple and have a bite of it. Her heart sank as she realized she had no money to pay for it even if she wanted to eat it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have any money." Tenten told the lady.

"Nonsense, my dear! You can have it free!"

"Oh um..."

"No? Such a shame...I was hoping you would at least..."

Tenten swung the door open. "All right, I'll...try it..."

The old lady smiled. "Thank you dearie!" She held out the apple.

.xXx.

Sasuke looked up. How strange...It felt like something absolutely horrible was about to happen.

Choji looked uneasy as well.

"Men," Shikamaru stated, his eyes wide open for once. "I think we'd better head back to the cottage."

The dwarves agreed all and once and abandoned their pick axes and rushed towards their cottage.

.xXx.

Tenten took it in her hands. She closed her eyes and thought about the lavender eyed boy and Itachi, hoping to see them both again someday and took a bite. She swallowed it.

Next thing she knew, the ground rushed up to her.

.xXx.

Queen Konan cackled madly. "I've done it! I've done it!" She stared at Snow White lying dead on the ground, the apple a few feet away. "NOW who is the fairest one of all!"

Queen Konan dashed off into the forest as her last spell began to wear off and she regained her former beauty. She would return to the castle and consult the mirror one final time just to make sure she was really dead.

.xXx.

The dwarves arrived back at the cottage to a horrible sight.

"NO!" Choji cried upon seeing Tenten's lifeless form on the ground. The seven dwarves gathered around her and stared at her. Shino touched the side of her face.

"She's cold..." Shino whispered.

The dwarves began to weep.

"We should place her in a crystal casket so the whole world can see her never withering beauty!" Kiba cried, tears streaming down his face.

So, the dwarves set to work on the casket. It was completed in only a few hours.

.xXx.

"WAIT!" Neji stopped his horse dead in his tracks. His normally grinning face was serious.

Itachi stared at him.

Neji kicked his horse and sped off in a completely different direction. Itachi followed though he was confused.

"What is it, Neji?" Itachi cried when he finally caught up.

"The Queen." Was his only words.

Itachi's face became stony.

The horses leapt from the bush onto a parallel trail where the queen was running. Itachi jumped off his horse and drew his dagger. Neji, meanwhile, kicked his horse harder and drew his sword, charging towards the queen.

"NO! NEJI!" Itachi cried, knowing what the queen could do.

The queen flung a ball of black magic at Neji. Neji deflected it with his sword, but it ricocheted and hit him in the shoulder, knocking him from the horse. He hit the ground painfully hard and cried out.

Itachi ran towards the queen, his dagger raised.

"YOU!" The queen cried.

"Me?" Itachi narrowed his eyes.

The queen raised her hand again. Itachi dove to the left and flung the dagger at the queen. The queen dodged it easily. Neji was standing up again, his hand over his bleeding shoulder. The two had the queen on both sides, but nobody knew what to do.

Konan made the first move, slashing both of her hands and sending a wave of dark magic towards the two men. Neji ducked under the blast wave while Itachi leapt over it, drawing a second dagger while he did so. He charged towards the queen with a furious roar.

Neji ran towards the queen as well, holding his sword in both hands. A blast of air burst from Konan's body and sent the two men flying.

"GAH!" Itachi slammed into the ground, rolling a few feet. Neji crashed into a tree and was knocked unconscious.

Itachi stood, his vision slightly blurry from the impact. He saw Neji slumped against a tree. Something came to him at that moment. Maybe just maybe if he could get Neji's sword...

He began to slowly circle queen Konan.

"Tenten. Where is she? What have you done with her?" Itachi whispered.

"I fed her a poisoned apple. Such a fool that girl is." Konan taunted.

Itachi stiffened.

"She's lying there on the doorstep. Such a sorry sight she is."

Itachi now stood in front of Neji. He took the sword off the ground.

Neji began regaining consciousness. He could see Itachi with his sword, but he knew he wasn't in any shape to use it.

Itachi charged at the queen again. The queen sent him flying yet again.

Neji watched helplessly. Then, it clicked in his mind. He began to stand up, stumbling towards his horse and his bag.

Itachi meanwhile saw Neji moving and wondered what he was doing. But Konan wasn't after him at the moment. It was him the queen was after. Itachi roared and charged again. Once again, he was deflected easily.

Neji reached the saddle bag and pulled the mirror from it. He placed it on the bag.

"Mirror, mirror on the bag, how do we defeat this hag?" Neji gasped.

The face appeared in the mirror. "The Queen gets her power from admirers. Do the opposite." The face faded.

Neji thought about that for a moment. Then he grinned.

"ITACHI! INSULT HER!" Neji roared and instantly regretted it as his chest flared with pain.

Itachi frowned. Then smiled.

"I can't believe I ever followed you. You're such an awful queen."

"WHAT?"

"You can't rule to save your life!"

The queen growled.

Neji ignored the pain in his chest and joined in the trash talking.

"You're so ugly, your reflection quit! That's why you use a magic mirror! HAA!"

Itachi almost laughed. "You're so ugly, your mother abandoned you when you were born!"

The queen looked horrified.

There was a swish behind Neji. Neji turned around to see the orange haired man come out of the mirror.

"How can you live with yourself, your majesty?" The man asked.

The queen whirled on him. "How did you get out?"

"You're horrible! You live on other's pain! You murdered poor innocent Tenten!" The mirror went on. "You're cruel, selfless, vain, and a liar and a deceiver!"

The queen began to twitch.

"Shame on you, you awful hag!"

The queen screeched.

"I think we all know who the fairest one of all is." Itachi threw in.

"NOT YOU!" Neji, the mirror and Itachi roared at the same time.

The queen screamed a horrible scream and exploded into dust.

"YES!" The mirror leapt into the air in celebration. "I have ALWAYS wanted to do that!"

"Then why didn't you?" Neji asked.

"Because she never asked."

Itachi and Neji looked at each other.

"Then why did you do it now?" Neji asked.

The mirror shrugged. "When I leave the mirror, I can do whatever I want without needing to be asked."

"Then why do you stay in it if you can get out whenever you want?" Itachi asked.

"I can't." The mirror stated. "I can only get out of the mirror at two o'clock, six o'clock, and eight o'clock."

"Well that makes a heck of a lot of sense." Neji muttered. "Why do you go back in? Don't you like being free?"

"I am only the spirit that resides in the mirror. I can't stay in this world, so I stay in the mirror."

"That makes sense." Itachi stated.

The orange haired man walked towards the mirror again. "I suggest you go see if you can help Tenten."

Itachi and Neji looked at each other.

"But, did the frog work?" Itachi looked towards the mirror, but he had already disappeared.

There was a momentary lapse of silence.

"Let's go." Neji stated, putting the mirror back into the bag and climbing onto the horse, the adrenaline numbing the pain he was in.

Itachi jumped on his horse and kicked it into gear. "By the way, here's your sword."

"Thanks." Neji took it and slid it back in its sheathe. The two raced into the forest towards the little cottage in the woods.

.xXx.

Tenten lay in the casket, while the dwarves piled flowers around it. Many of them cried, including Kiba who never cried.

"Why did this have to happen?" Lee cried, tears streaming down his face.

Rapid hoof beats echoed into the clearing as two men on horseback tore from the woods. They skidded to a stop and stared at the mourning dwarves. Then their eyes fell on the casket and what was inside.

"NO!" Itachi cried and leapt from his horse. Neji followed slower, but the purpose was all there.

"Come to pay respects?" a chubby dwarf asked.

Itachi stared at Tenten's unmoving form.

"Why?" Neji whispered.

"Why what?" Itachi cried. "Can't you see? We're too late! The frog didn't work!"

Neji continued staring at poor Tenten lying in the casket.

"Were you friends of hers?" A tired looking dwarf asked.

Itachi nodded.

"Come with us then." The chubby dwarf stated. "We can talk inside."

The dwarves began to walk back towards their cottage. Itachi began to follow them, but Neji stood still, still watching Tenten.

"Coming, Neji?"

Neji shook his head slowly.

Itachi sighed and continued following the dwarves into the house.

Neji stared at the girl. He thought about the beautiful song she was singing when he first caught a glimpse of her. He remembered how she fled from him when he stepped towards her. Now here she was, lying on her deathbed.

Neji stepped towards the casket. She was still beautiful, even in death. He lifted the latch on the casket and opened it up. He stared down at her, her lips parted just slightly. Neji reached out to touch her face. She was cold. It made him feel angry that such a girl could've died, and that he had failed to save her life.

"I'm sorry," He murmured. Neji bent down and pressed his lips against her ice-cold ones. Suddenly realizing what he was doing, he pulled away. What was he thinking?

"Hmmm..."

What was that... Neji thought to himself.

Then, movement. Tenten began to stir, as if waking from a deep sleep. Her soft, brown eyes fluttered open, and all Neji could do was stare at her. Her eyes focused on his face a second later.

It suddenly clicked in Neji's mind that this shouldn't be happening.

Tenten realized this was that lavender-eyed boy she had been dreaming about, standing over her.

They both screamed at the top of their lungs. Neji jumped from the casket, the lid falling back down onto Tenten as he backed away from it.

Itachi and the dwarves ran from the house.

"What happened?" Itachi cried. His eyes fell on the casket where Tenten was pushing the lid open.

"IT'S A MIRACLE!" Kiba roared, throwing his arms in the air.

The seven dwarves began to dance as Tenten climbed off the deathbed.

"Itachi?" Tenten stared at the hunter who had disappeared ages ago.

"Yeah. How are you alive?"

"When did I die?" Tenten tilted her head to the side.

Itachi's head snapped towards Neji. "What did you do?"

"I-I-I didn't do anything!" Neji cried. "All I did was kiss her! I mean-"

"You did what?" Itachi cried.

"N-N-No, I-"

"This means war, pal!" Itachi drew his dagger.

"STOP IT!" Tenten cried.

Itachi sighed and put the dagger away. "What happened, Tenten?"

"An old lady came to the door and gave me an apple. She said it would make my dreams come true..."

"That's too good to be true, Tenten. You need to be more suspicious of people. That apple could've killed you!"

"B-But...It did make all my dreams come true!" Tenten protested. "I wished I could see you again! And now you're here!" She conveniently left out the fact that she had wished to see the lavender-eyed boy again.

"SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE!" The dwarves sang and danced.

Itachi sighed. "I'm glad you're okay."

Tenten smiled and hugged Itachi. "Thank you for not killing me and letting me run away."

"I couldn't kill you, Tenten. You're too good to die."

Tenten grinned.

"CELEBRATION TIME!" The dwarves cried.

Tenten laughed and joined the party.

Itachi walked over to Neji. "So what happened?"

Neji shook his head and shrugged. "I have no idea."

"You kissed her and she woke up?" Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"I-" Neji sighed. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Now why would you kiss a dead girl?"

"I...have no idea."

Itachi laughed.

.xXx.

Tenten woke up to the sound of a clear voice singing a song. It sounded male, but she had never heard a boy sing in such a clear tone before. Wanting to find out who it was, Tenten climbed from the bed and followed the sound out the front door. It was such a lovely voice. She followed it around the house and saw the lavender-eyed boy sitting in the grass, staring at the sky.

Tenten knew the voice was coming from him. She walked towards him. "Hello!" She called.

The singing cut off as the boy leapt off the grass and backed away from her.

Tenten blinked in surprise. She took another step towards him. The boy backed away.

"What's wrong? Why do you keep backing away?"

"You shouldn't be walking..." the boy whispered. "You were dead! I saw you!"

Tenten giggled. "You kissed me!"

The boy seemed to flush for a moment. Tenten giggled and took another step towards him. "Seriously, do I look like a zombie to you?"

"N-No, not really..." He stepped back again.

Tenten pouted and crossed her arms. "I was going to thank you for saving me, but you keep backing away from me."

"I didn't save you..."

"Yeah you did! Itachi told me what happened! You threw the frog in the pot! I even asked the magic mirror what the frog did to the potion, and it said it merely turned it into a sleeping potion, and the person who drank it could only be woken with loves first kiss! You threw the frog in, and you kissed me!"

The boy looked away. Tenten stepped towards him again. The boy shifted nervously.

"What's your name?" Tenten asked. "I didn't get a chance to ask last time because I ran away."

The boy gave her a weak smile. "My name is Neji."

Tenten's jaw dropped. "Prince Neji? Seventh son of the Hyuuga family?"

"You...know me?"

Tenten looked slightly guilty. She took another step. Neji didn't move this time.

"And your name is?" Neji's voice was calmer now.

"Tenten." Tenten told him, stepping towards him again and arriving right in front of him. She looked up into his lavender eyes. "Can I thank you for saving me now?"

Neji smiled. "Yes."

Tenten touched his face. "Well, then thank you, Prince Neji, for saving my life." She stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his. Neji pulled her closer and kissed her back.

.xXx.

Despite popular belief, Tenten, Itachi and Neji built their own cottage in the woods before leaving the forest to return to civilization. There, Tenten married Prince Neji at the Hyuuga palace. Their cottage in the woods was their second home.

Even Itachi's life changed after that. He became a guard at the Hyuuga palace and was assigned to guarding the now Princess Tenten and Prince Neji whenever they left the palace, which was all the time. Neji, Tenten and Itachi travelled throughout the world as a group, occasionally returning to visit the dwarves in the forest.

Thus, they all lived happily ever after.

A/N: so what did you think of that? Do me a favour and review! I had a heck of a time writing this.

This story was also written in companionship with Little Cassie, my best very good friend who loves fairy tales more than I do, haha!

Thanks for reading!

~SilverEyeShinobi