Heyyyyy! This is my attempt on a funny Naruto fic. I hope you enjoy and please tell me if it was good or bad. I'm more of an angst writer myself. I've never really done funny. Well, I hope it's not a total failure! I like it and I hoep you do to! Please review! Also this is boyxboy so don't like don't read! It's Sasunaru! XD

Plot: 'In the event of a fire, make your way to the nearest exit. In the event of a earthquake, get under your tables. In the event of an angry Uchicha, run for your life, he will kill you.' It seems stealing the principles microphone wasn't a good idea.

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Sasuke and Naruto would be sooo together.

Best Ten Bucks

XxXxXxXx

High school was once again starting after a three month long Summer break. The outside was a typical fall day. There were leaves all over the ground in many colors. Despite the nice scenery, the wind was bitter and cold. The clouds were grey, threatening rainfall soon.

Surprisingly, school was open despite the early end of summer. The teens piled in, desperate to get out of the cold wind. Some came in limo's while others drove or took the bus. Very few walked because it was just so cold outside. Their fingers were a nice, bright pink while their lips were tinged blue.

As soon as anyone open the doors to the front entrance, a burst of hot air met them from the schools heating vents. Instead of going to their classes though, the teens had to go to the front hall for the start of school assembly.

One Sasuke Uchiha was walking along to his locker. He was a Sophomore and was well use to the ways of the school by now. He had a group of friends, all coming from the same old school. And he couldn't forget his kick ass boyfriend. Yes, the great Sasuke Uchiha is gay. His poor fangirls all fainted on the spot, and hunted down his poor blond. They once caught him and tortured him. He was mentally scarred after but luckily he had Sasuke there to make all the bad dreams of powerpuff girls undies being shot at him go away. It was truly a nightmare, they tried to use girly, sweetness against his dobe, although he did over react. But he was the only one who messed with his dobe.

His dobe had a new fear of fangirls and surprisingly (the blond wouldn't tell Sasuke why) the fear of lip stick. Whenever he asked, the younger boy would start muttering about the sticky goop on his face and the terrible colors of the rainbow. He didn't dwell too much on it.

Speaking of his dobe, here he comes.

"Hey Sasuke!" The blond smiled as he wrapped his hands around the taller boys neck and gave him a peck on the cheek. Sasuke responded by grabbing the blonds waist and attacking his mouth. He licked the younger boys lip, asking for entrance which was easily granted. He forced his tongue into the blonds mouth, exploring the warm cavern. The two had gotten together about two weeks after the start of school but Sasuke said he loved the boy since the ninja academy. Naruto pushed the older boy away with a smug smirk, efficiently ending their sweet kiss.

"Not now 'Suke. We have to get to the assembly to greet the new freshmen. I promised Tsunade that I wouldn't be late this time." Sasuke smirked as he remembered last year. Naruto had been fifteen minutes late, that wasn't too bad but the fact that he had raced into the hall not knowing he came in the wrong entrance and ended up in the middle of the stage next to an angry as hell Tsunade. Not only was she Hokage but now she was convinced to run Konoha High School. They were still trained to be ninjas here and were on the same teams but now they were back in school.

"Hn." Naruto growled before grabbing the black haired teens hand and dragged him along, although soon he was keeping pace with the blond because Uchiha's don't get dragged along. They reached the hall in no time and took their seats next to their group of friends. Naruto and Kiba already in a loud conversation the second they sat next to each other.

"Shut up you two! It's starting!" Ino hissed as Tsunade came on stage. The whole room began to quiet down as she glared at all the newbies, making sure to scare the shit out of them.

XxXxXxXx After The Boring Assembly (because the author is too lazy to actually write it).

"Hey Sakura! You seen Naruto?" Sasuke asked after the assembly. His blond seemed to disappear into the crowd.

"No, sorry." The pink haired girl replied. She had long ago gotten over Sasuke and moved on to someone who liked her. Lee.

"Is the youthful Naruto missing! We must find him to preserve his youthfulness!" The loud, green clad boy replied. Loudly I might add... Very loudly.

"Hey did you say Naruto's missing? So is Kiba!" Choji muttered through a bag of chips.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"I-I hope th-there al-alright." Hinata whispered nervously.

"I'm sure they're fine!" Tenten reassured.

"Hey Uchiha!" The principle and Hokage yelled as she came over to the group of friends.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Sasuke mumbled.

"You should already be in room 13!"

"Why?"

"Come on! I'll explain on the way." He was then dragged along, away from his friends. He yanked his arm out of Tsunades grip. Once again, Uchiha's don't get dragged along.

"Where are we going?"

"Remember, you volunteered to answer some questions for the freshmen's." The boy stopped dead in his tracks. They sentence sounded wrong in so many ways. Sasuke, volunteer and freshmen's. Sasuke does not volunteer for anything, especially if it had something to do with stupid freshmen's. "Come on! We'll be late and they're waiting." The walking continued only because Sasuke was in a daze.

"When did I volunteer!" The raven haired boy growled.

"You left a note on my desk." The blond lady responded.

"Naruto!" The boys name along with a string of curses were said under his breath. This had the dobes name written all over it. He was suddenly thrust into a classroom and all eyes were on him. Even worse, all freshmen eyes. Standing at the top of the class was Shikamaru and Airi. He had no clue how Shikamaru got there before him if last time he saw him he was with their group of friends. Airi was a very loud girl who was another one of his fans, but instead of being a fan of him, she was a fan of his and Naruto's relationship... She was a yaoi fan with short blue hair and brown eyes.

He walked to the front of the class and stood next to Shikamaru. "How'd you get stuck in this?"

"I was forced because I'm calm and smart or something. How troublesome." Was the lazy reply.

"Alright young ones, this is Airi, Shikamaru and Sasuke. Raise your hands and I'll pick you randomly. You can ask any of them a question." Hands instantly went up. "Blondy with green eyes."

It was a girl. "I'm asking... Airi. What are the dorms like?"

They're awesome! Especially because the girls and guys are on the same floor. If you don't like your roommate really badly, they'll let you switch rooms too!"

"Greeny with weird smile." This was also a girl. "Ummmm... Shikamaru! Does it get annoying when you have to share a floor with the opposite gender?"

"No, it's fine."

"Browny with brown eyes." This time a boy. "Sasuke." Just saying the name earned him a scary glare. "Are the girls hot?" This earned him a nervous boy and an even sharper glare.

"Sure."

XxXxXxXx Somewhere Else... With Scary Spiders.

"Oh crap! Oh crap! Shit! Shit! Shitshitshitshitshit!"

"Would you just keep moving! I don't know why I let you talk me in to these thing." The last part was mumbled to himself.

"You know you love me! I'm your best friend!"

"Yeah, yeah. How lucky am I!"

"Oh quit whining and keep moving!"

"Your the one who stopped. It's not like I can go through things!"

"There's a SPIDER!"

"Get over it you wimp! I'm crawling through a vent for you so keep going! I swear to God if I regret this I will hunt you down and kill you!"

"Then I'll get Sasuke to protect me!"

"Speaking of him. How do you think he'd taking the whole, pretend to be him and give a note to the principle to answer questions from freshmen's?"

"Dunno, hopefully not too bad. I don't want to die an early death."

XxXxXxXx Back To Sasuke!

Eye twitch... Another eye twitch. Why him! For god sakes why him! He'd been asked the most irrelevant questions they could think of. About relationships and stupid things like that. His last question was whether girls with big boobs were better then girls with small ones.

"Yellowy and green eyes." A girl. "Shikamaru! Are the classes hard?"

"They're troublesome."

"Black hair, orange eyes."(1) A boy. "Airi! Are the teachers nice?"

"Some are great! But others aren't. It just depend if your on their good side or not but most of them are really nice!"

"Red hair, blue eyes." A boy. "Sasuke! Are the guys hot?"

Cough... Cough. "Hn."

"Purple hair, foam green eyes." Another boy. "Sasuke! How does the school take gays?"

"Uh..." Uchiha's don't stutter. Uchiha's don't stutter, no matter how embarrassing the questions are. He mentally chanted. "They don't care if you don't." He was going to kill Naruto!

XxXxXxXx Once Again With The Two Idiots

"Ok! Were here!"

"Finally! I was going to die from dust inhalation! God do the janitors ever climb in the vents and clean them!"

"... Kiba, I'm not going to answer that."

"Oh just shut up and open the damn thing!"

"Ok! Stop rushing me!" With that he finally unscrewed the final nail and kicked the vent door open. He braced himself before pushing himself out of the vent and landing on the Principles desk, scattering paperwork everywhere. "Ok Kiba! Come on down!" He moved out of the way as the brunette jumped down.

"So, where is it Naruto?"

"Dunno, somewhere around here." The two dug through the mess of their principles office when they finally found their treasure. With a smirk they pressed the button down and started talking in to it.

XxXxXxXx With Sasuke... Again.

The speakers squeaked before words came out of it all around the school. All of the kids looked up to where the noise was coming from.

"Hello there my friends! Hows it going. This is your trusty classmate! I've come to introduce myself and help you, the freshmen's, to understanding some of the safety procedures in our school. And Sasuke, hi!" All the freshmen looked at the glaring black-ette. He was really going to kill that dobe now.

"Oh! And sorry about leaving you with all those newbies, I know how annoying they can be. Anyways. First of all. Welcome to our school. Don't mind Baa-san, our crazy principle, she will not cause you harm as long as you mind the sign on her back saying 'stay five feet away from me. I do bite'." Tsunade gripped her back, her fingers coming in contact with paper. She instantly ripped it off angrily.

"You little brat! Sneaking into my office and now sticking signs on my back!" The blond yelled as she cursed the younger blond.

"And I already predicted what you would say Baa-san, so... Old hag! You should have seen this coming and put super glue on your vent so I couldn't sneak into you office. And don't blame me that you don't watch your back! Now, back to my point. Some safety procedures. In the event of a fire, make your way to you nearest exit. Or just follow the loud screaming crowd. In the event of an earthquake, cover your neck and get under your table. Don't forget to shriek and tremble! In the event of an angry Uchiha, run for your life, he will kill you."

"Naruto! I will kill you!"

"Yes sweetums, I love you too! Kiba says hi! Thats all for now. Ps. Remember my last warning."

Everyone did remember that warning and the freshmen's either ran out of the classroom screaming or hid under the table quivering. Sasuke stormed out of the classroom, or course he didn't rush, too much. Uchiha's don't rush. Not too far behind was a mad Tsunade.

"SOMEONE GET ME SOME SAKE!"

When the duo got to the office, it was empty as expected. The vent door was lying on the ground and papers were all over the place. On a yellow post it note, there was the message 'How's that for a first day of school?'

When the partners in crime were finally found, they were like hero's to all freshmen for their brave act. Although they didn't feel like hero's because they got a months worth of detention and everyday after school they had to clean the entire campus. Naruto was lucky, Sasuke didn't get too mad and after the first week of cleaning, he'd keep Naruto company for the next three weeks. This also meant he was keeping Kiba company, but he only stayed for his blond.

The two would then journey back to Sasuke's house, which Naruto now lived in as he was forced by the older teen. They were greeted by a happy Itachi, even if he did kill his entire clan. Sasuke was over his 'I am an avenger. Hear me roar' stage. It seems Itachi was forced to do it by the ANBU root leader.

"You know Naruto, I still don't get why out of the three of us, me, Shikamaru and Airi, why I was the one who was asked the creepy questions."

"I can't believe they actually went through with that! Best ten bucks I ever spent!"

"WHAT!" Sasuke would forever deny yelling like that, because Uchiha's don't freak out. He would also deny chasing his blond the rest of the way home, but he wouldn't deny the kissing-fest they had when he finally caught his dobe.

XxXxXxXx

1-' "Black hair, orange eyes." A boy. "Airi! Are the teachers nice?" ' Geeze! Is it just me or does this guy sound like halloween!

I hope you enjoyed! As I said earlier, this is my first attempt at humor! Please review! XD GO Sasunaru!

Coolbluerocker