Title: Snuggle Up With Me

Author: lovesrainscent

Pairing: Shika + Tema + a Snuggie (the blanket with SLEEVES!)

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or these characters and I do not stand to make any profit from posting this story. Snuggie is undoubtedly trademarked by somebody other than me as well.

Summary: Newlywed Temari spends her first Christmas in Konoha. But baby, it's cold outside and Shikamaru is away on a mission. Luckily she receives a welcome gift. Will Shikamaru be jealous of this new interloper in their relationship?

Snuggle Up With Me

Temari was cold.

She was bitterly, shiveringly, chilled-to-the-bone downright cold.

The winter in Konoha was not at all like the crisp, clean chill of a desert night at home in Suna. No, the chill here in the air was pervasive, it clung to her, seeped into her, penetrated her to the bone.

If it wasn't the heat, it was the humidity, the old people always said. Well, the same thing must apply to cold as well. The difference between Konoha and Suna had to be in the relative humidity. The chill here hung on her.

She shivered again involuntarily and clutched her cup of tea, slinking from the kitchen into the apartment's tiny living room and settling down on the low sofa to flip through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan Kunoichi.

Shivering once more, she set the tea on the side table and dragged the crocheted throw that had become her constant companion up to cover her chest and shoulders. She tried to pick up her magazine or tea but each time she did, the blanket slithered annoyingly off her shoulders.

Huffing in frustration, Temari leaned forward and draped it around her back and over her shoulders like a shawl. She still had to keep clutching it closed with one hand which interfered with her magazine reading. When she went to take a sip of tea, she kept one hand on the blanket and her magazine slid off her lap to the floor causing her to lose her place.

Muttering some rather hefty curses on all the citizenry of Konoha who put up with this nonsense called winter rather than moving to some more equatorial location where the seasons didn't vary as much, she leaned forward to retrieve it but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Sighing again, she rose, still clutching the blanket and went to answer it.

The messenger ninja gawked at her as if she were someone's obaa-san so she snatched the signature pad from him and scrawled her name. Accepting the package, she closed the door without bothering to tip him. Insolent little jerk.

Looking down at the package in her hand she recognized Kankuro's blocky script and smiled for the first time that day. Finally, the tea she had asked him to send her had arrived! No more of this weak warm-water green-tea that they served in Konoha. She could smell the Sadaf already, fragrant and deep picturing it's rich amber color. Just the thought of a proper cup of tea warmed her spirits at least.

But the box seemed large. Maybe he had sent a samovar too? Her heart skipped a beat to think that her annoying little brother could be so thoughtful.

Shaking the box, she could hear the rattle of what she hoped were hardened sugar cubes. But the box seemed too light to contain something like a samovar.

Carrying it to the kitchen she placed it on the table and took out her kunai to slit the packing tape. She lifted the boxes out, sniffing each one in turn - regular tea, tea with cardamon, a package of rose petals. And bless him, he even included two proper clear cups!

Peeking into the box, curious as to what else it contained she pulled out a soft, lightweight bundle. It was a fuzzy, fleecy...thing. She read the label. "Snuggie - The blanket with SLEEVES (tm)"

What the ...?

Temari looked at the picture on the label. It showed an attractive woman wearing what appeared to be a backward robe. She took it out of it's package and shook it. A small note fluttered to the floor.

"Hey, Sis, I heard it's going to be a pretty bad winter in Konoha this year. Thought you could use this. K~"

What the ...?

Did he expect to wear that? She'd look like Granny Chiyo for crying out loud. Temari thought back to the curious look that the messenger ninja had given her.

Still, it did feel soft. Her fingers curled around a thick handful of royal blue fleece. Really soft. Warm. Like...kitten fur.

Maybe...

Setting a kettle of water on the stove to boil she decided to at least give it a try.

Returning to the sofa she retrieved her magazine and casually flipped through the pages, comfortably warm. It was even long enough to tuck her toes up under it as she stretched out.

When the water was ready Temari returned to the kitchen to prepare her tea, even enjoying the moments of waiting because she could savor the fragrance wafting through the air.

Back to the sofa once more with tea, magazine and her newfound friend...the Snuggie. She sipped. She flipped. She never spilled a drop or lost her place in the magazine. And the whole time she stayed comfortably warm.

Amazing.

Somebody was probably going to make a bundle of money on these things.

Feeling cozy and warm and satisfied for the first time since Shikamaru left town on his latest mission, she dozed off.

She was awakened some time later by a draft of air as he opened and closed the front door and the 'thunk' as he set his pack down.

Opening her eyes and smiling warmly at him Temari sat up to greet him extending her fleece clad arms.

The warmth of her welcome was instantly replaced by a frosty glare as she heard her husband chuckle. "What the hell are you wearing?" Shikamaru laughed.

"It's a Snuggie!" she snapped in indignation. "Kankuro sent it to me. At least he was worried about me being warm this winter!"

Mustering whatever dignity she could she swathed herself in yards of Snuggie and stomped off to the bedroom. Alone.

Shikamaru learned two important things that day. The first being that there is no circumstance under which it is ever acceptable, even in jest, to greet your wife with the phrase 'What the hell are you wearing?' She's just never going to get the joke. Ever. Never ever. Being fairly newly wed, he had no metric by which to quantify his gaffe but he suspected that he would be paying for it for a long time. A very long time.

The second thing he learned was that Temari was right. It really was colder in the living room. Especially since he was now sleeping there.

Next morning Temari had already left on her own mission by the time he woke up, stiff and sore from sleeping on the sofa. Their schedules kept them apart for most of the next several days. When they did say 'hello' or 'goodbye' in passing they exchanged the briefest of kisses, decidedly frosty on her part.

He tried to apologize. "Look, Temari, I'm sorry that you got upset at what I said and..."

This time the glare was not frosty, indeed it looked like it could melt the polar ice caps. He heard her mutter 'husband-apologies!' and storm off.

Shikamaru realized he needed help. He needed information, data, inputs in order to be able to solve this problem. Simply put, he had no frame of reference. But who to ask? Dad? No. Choiji? No. He needed female input. Ino? No. Mom? Hell no.

Kurenai!

Of course! She could probably offer some insight. Besides, he hadn't seen too much of her and her son lately.

He stopped by that afternoon. Unfortunately young Asuma was down for his nap so he only got to peek in on him. Downstairs, Kuranai prepared tea and they shared a pot together. After some idle chit-chat Kurenai asked him, "So how's married life?"

He confessed. Confessed to his by now much-regretted remark and to his current state of bewilderment.

With half a smile, Kurenai picked up the pot to refill his cup. "What's the big deal, why don't you just apologize?"

"Exactly!" Shikamaru brightened. "I did. I told her I was sorry she was upset and..."

Kurenai stopped in mid-pour. "Oh no you did not say that."

"Uh, yes, I did. Why?"

She tsked and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like Temari's phrase of 'husband-apology.'

"Precisely what does that phrase mean?" he asked.

Kurenai sighed and in her best didactic-sensei voice explained. "The classic husband-apology goes along the lines of: I am sorry that you got your feelings hurt."

"Well, that's what I am sorry about," he objected.

"Exactly my point."

"Um, exactly what is your point?" he queried.

"You have in effect told Temari, 'I-am-sorry-that-I-have-to-put-up-with-this-bullshit-out-of-you-but-since-I-do-I-might-as-well-apologize-for-something-that-we-both-know-the-basis-of-which-is-your-fault-for-being-too-sensitive-in-the-first-place-now-let's-have-sex."

Shikamaru sat blinking. "That's not what I said."

"Doesn't matter. That's what she heard."

"So what should I do?"

"Just apologize."

"But I..."

Kurenai stopped him with a dainty raised hand. "Just...apologize. Just say 'I'm sorry.' No need for anything more."

"But it's the principle of the thing."

"No more 'buts'. You can have principles or you can have sex. Which is it going to be?"

Shikamaru sulked. So this was how it began? This was the first step on a path that led to utter whip-ed-ness? He was going to end up like Dad?

"No. I said I was sorry she got her feelings hurt. And I am. But that's all. Temari's just going to have to get over her sulk."

"Trust me, Shikamaru. It's a battle you can't win. As a matter of fact, you've already lost."

"How so?"

"You're here talking to me."

With his confidence shaken but still refusing to accept defeat, Shikamaru thanked Kurenai for her advice and the tea. Then he left for home. Her parting words haunted him. "Remember, Shikamaru, she has the ultimate weapon as her advantage. Sex. And she'll use it in a time and a manner that you won't expect."

Letting himself into the apartment quietly, he saw Temari sleeping on the sofa, swathed in the omnipresent Snuggie that seemed to accompany her everywhere around the house these days. Frowning just a little he tiptoed over to her and looked down at her face calm in repose.

Soft. She looked so soft in the lamplight. Not formidable at all. Cloaked neck to toe in the blue fabric she looked soft and warm. He reached to touch her blond hair and then tuck a stray corner of the Snuggie about her shoulder.

Her shoulder.

Her bare shoulder.

He paused, taking a closer look at her. She was lying on her side on the couch, Snuggie covering the curve of her hip but he could peek down and see the bare skin of the small of her back. Disappearing into the shadow of the Snuggie was undoubtedly the bare skin of her hips and...

Was she naked under the damned Snuggie?

He searched in vain for a hint of a panty line but the Snuggie revealed little, only a teasing glimpse where it had strayed away from the shoulder, a hint of skin at the hip here, a bare calf there...

Shikamaru exhaled deeply.

She was...completely naked under the Snuggie.

The Snuggie taunted him. It had access to every bare inch of her while he was left here shivering in the living room.

Thoughts of sex in, on, around and under the Snuggie filled his mind. The wretched shapeless piece of cloth surely held room enough for two.

Temari's teal eyes opened, dreamy and warm. "Hey," she mumbled. Then she yawned and stretched and Shikamaru held his breath praying to whatever god that would listen that the Snuggie would slip, fall off and...

"I'm sorry," he said, abruptly sitting at the opposite end of the sofa.

"I know," she smiled and it was a brilliant smile of pure victory.

She stretched her legs out and put her feet in his lap.

He wrapped one hand around her feet and started to massage one ankle, sliding his hand slowly up her calf as he worked. "So, um, are you warm enough now?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she said sweetly. "How about you?"

"Well, it was a bit cold on the walk over here."

"Was it?" Soft. Sweet. Lilting voice. He was doomed.

"Yeah." The Snuggie may have been a loosely draped piece of fabric but his own clothes were anything but loose now, particularly his trousers. Troublesome woman. Was she going to make him beg?

Temari relented. "You know, there's probably room for both of us underneath this Snuggie. That is, if you want to snuggle up with me."

A/N: Okay, you've probably seen PSITeleport's Advent Drabbles (if not - go check them out!) She's doing 24 drabbles to count down to Christmas. I didn't think I could commit to that many but what I WILL try to do is "The 12 Fics of Christmas" and just finish some of the dozen or so half-done fics I have on my hard drive and in my head. No partridges, no pear trees. Just pure and simple housekeeping of the plot bunny pen. Wish me luck and please review.