Title: Ascended Anger

Author: Caliadragon

Category: Humor, Angst

Warnings: Unbetad, Language, mentions of het, slash

Part: 1/1

Xander Harris had many things on his mind when he woke up that day. He thought about feeding and teaching the thirty young girls living in the Slayer House he ran. He thought about the paperwork that needed filling and the Watchers that needed paid.

What Xander wasnt thinking about was being killed in his own living room, but that was exactly what happened. He had no idea that one of the old school Watchers would make a deal with an angry Wish Demon who decided killing Xander outright would be better than cursing the Prophecy Breaker.

Xander wouldnt know that the Watcher himself was killed by the demon immediately after. Nor would he know that DHoffryn Lord of all Vengeance Demons would deliver the leaders of the Council the demons head on a pike.

What Xander would know was that he was dead and that the Powers were sending him to a place where he could continue to do good, but would no longer be a threat to their plans for Balance.

When Xander appeared in a flash of white light people with weapons spun to face him. Xander glared at the man who gave a cocky wave to the people who were obviously military. He had a case at his side and hundreds of boxes sitting behind him.

Are you an ascended? A good looking, blue eyed blond man asked him.

Against my will, yeah. Freaking Powers! So which of you is Rodney McKay? Xander asked remembering the information that Whistler and the Oracles gave him.

That would be me and what do you mean against your will? How do you ascend against your will? Rodney demanded, looking over the young man.

Well you get up and think about eating your wheaties only to get murdered in your living room by a pissed off demon. Then the Powers in their infinite wisdom decide that since you are the representation of a pure gene carrier in your reality that you can do the Others a favor and go to their reality and help the descendants of the Ascended, who honestly sound like their as big an asshole as the Powers that Be. So your are taken from your loved ones and dumped in a new reality with anything they think would help you and some gift for Rodney McKay. Xander snarked as he leaned down and easily slid the large case at his side to Rodney. That is supposed to be full of something called ZPMs for Atlantis and the SGC. Whatever, I just know Im supposed to be a new Warrior for the Children of the Others, something about Space Vampires who used to be bugs and people.

The group just stared at him for several minutes and then Rodney tried to pick up the case only to grunt in shock at the fact that it was so heavy, there was no way that he would be able to pick it up. He motioned to Ronon, who also couldnt lift it.

Are you an alien? The blond asked him as he noticed how much trouble they were having lifting the case.

I was human before I came here, but apparently humans in my reality are a bit stronger than the ones here, then I was exposed to several strains of demonic DNA and was possessed four times so Im stronger than usual or something like that. I was too pissed to really pay attention to what they were saying. Mostly I was trying to gut the bastard that brought me here. Xander said honestly.

Jack ONeill stared at the kid in confusion; this was weird even for him. Demons dont exist. McKay insisted.

Not in this reality they dont, you poor bastards got aliens instead, though honestly Im not sure which is worse demons, space vampires, or parasites bent on universal domination. Xander shrugged still pissed.

John Sheppard blinked at that and looked over at his commanding officer, who shrugged as if to say he had no idea. Why should we trust you? He asked the kid.

No idea why you should, its not like Im going to trust you. Ive had my run ins with the military and the NID and frankly they were mostly just assholes and despots. I dont trust anyone who works for the military except for three people and they arent here. Frankly I dont trust the Powers or the Ascended either so you know were just fucked in that regard. Xander said bluntly.

Rodney snorted in laughter, I wouldnt trust an Ascended either, the Ancients were assholes and Jackson there had his self returned after he Ascended. Even he thought they were assholes.

Daniel Jackson, the blond, gave a sheepish grin and nodded that was true. Xander blinked at him for a moment and made his way over to Daniel. The group tensed, but Xander ignored them, his focus strictly on Daniel. He reached out and poked Daniel in the chest and then sighed. Well isnt that just fucking interesting. Congratulations Daniel Jackson, youre immortal.

Xander muttered to himself and went over to where Rodney was standing. He reached down and picked up the case, Come on he of the Great Ass, Ill take this to where you want it.

Rodney blushed and John bristled. Are you gay? Someone asked rather belligerently.

Why you want a date? Xander asked causing the person to splutter. The answer is no, I dont limit myself that way. Now if you have a problem with it I can turn you into a pretzel or you can shut the fuck up and not think about where I chose to stick my dick.

He goes home on the Daedalus. Rodney snarled, pointing at the newest Marine recruit.

Agreed, we dont need a homophobe out here, Ronon will end up killing him and we have allies that believe in same sex bondings. John said looking at ONeill who didnt look pleased with the marine.

The Marine in question looked angry, but couldnt do anything about it. His attitude isnt going to do him any good since DADT was abolished and gays can openly serve in the military now. Daniel said as he made to follow Xander and Rodney. By the way what is your name? He asked Xander.

Xander Harris.

Welcome to Atlantis. Daniel said gently.

Xander grinned at him, Thanks. Oh hey does your reality have chocolate and Twinkies?

That made everyone blink. Yes, though they are hard to get here in the Pegasus Galaxy, especially chocolate.

Huh, well that better be one of the unending supplies that the idiot Powers gave me in those boxes. Xander muttered. Rodney froze.

Unending supplies of chocolate? Rodney demanded.

Yeah, want some?

Of course! Dont be stupid, who would give up a chance for chocolate? Rodney demanded. Xander burst into laughter.

Please tell me you arent dating someone and are at least bi, because frankly you are turning out to be my type. Xander told him and grinned in delight at the growl from behind him and the blush on Rodneys face. Jack ONeill looked over at the very pissed off John Sheppard and smirked, it looked like Sheppard finally realized that he needed to claim his genius.

Hey wait! Did you say unending supplies in boxes? Carson Becket asked suddenly.

Xander sighed and put the box down turning to face the group. You can go through all of the boxes marked with anything but an X, those are mine and wont open for you. There are boxes for the infirmary, the sciences, and the main areas like the kitchen and the place you all chose as a library. Also the boxes marked for some of the areas are basically unending, so you keep pulling shit out and it be replaced immediately. Some of the boxes have things in them that will automatically come out because they are bigger than the boxes they are in. Xander rolled his eyes when everyone looked at him in shock.

He walked over to the box marked books and opened it, causing a bookcase to come out. Just like that! Xander smirked and then thought the bookcase back into the box.

Thats impossible! Rodney and Samantha Carter snapped at the same time.

What the fuck ever! Obviously it is where Im from. Xander rolled his eyes and went back to the box and picked it up. So do you want these ZPM things put where they belong McKay?

Rodney was flustered he wanted to get the ZPMs hooked up, but he also wanted to check out the boxes that the man from another galaxy brought over. There was also the fact that they werent sure if they could trust him.

Xander sighed when two Ancients appeared before them. Oh goodie its more assholes. What do you want now? Xander snarked viciously, making Jack ONeill smirk.

We are here to make sure our descendants know that you can be trusted. Oma Desla said calmly.

And why should they believe anything you have to say? Xander asked pointedly.

Im with the kid. Jack said with a smirk.

Jack Daniel began in reflex, but then remembered that he was now immortal and glared at Oma and Morgaine. Did you know I was immortal? he demanded.

Yes, you may have reclaimed your mortal shell, but you are an Ascended, the second time you descended you became immortal. Oma answered calmly.

So instead he gets to outlive the people he loves, arent you sweet. Xander said sarcastically.

He will have you if he allows himself to befriend you. Morgaine said softly.

Xander glared viciously at her. Im going to find a way to end your existence if you dont fuck off right now! The Ascended women stared at him for a moment in fear, then disappeared.

I say we keep him just because he scares Ascended. Ronan grumbled, making Xander wink at him. Ronan blinked and Sheppard growled once more. Making Xander burst into laughter. Teyla raised an eyebrow when Xander froze and looked at her with an almost painful longing.

Hello, what is your name? Xander asked softly, completely thrown off by the fact that the tiny woman reminded him of a combination of Tara and Kendra, why he was not certain.

Teyla Emmagean. She answered.

Hello Teyla. Xander said with a sweet smile.

John growled again. You cant have her either.

Xander blinked at him coming out of his memories and suddenly giving John a wicked grin. All three huh? Congrats, hope you take your vitamins. Snickers came from more than one person and John sighed he had a feeling Xander Harris was going to be a handful.