AN: You guys, I am so sorry. I have had such a horrible writer's block on this story. Seeing the ME3 trailer completely fried my brain on all post ME3 ideas. I really doubt this chapter was worth the wait, but hopefully this means my writer's block on this is over.

Technically Illegal

"Welcome back, Mr. Gunn," A sphere swirled into being in place of the galaxy map in the center of the ship. It flickered a gentle red a few shades lighter than his father's armor, though the tone was decidedly feminine. A wave of familiarity crashed into Rael. The pleasant inflections on the VI made it seem intelligent, and almost reminded him of his people's ancestral personality imprints.

"EDI, prep the ship for lift-off and chart a course to the Phoenix fuel depot," Leng barked at the sphere as he moved towards the front of the ship. Human design told Rael he was heading for the cockpit, and made him blink in confusion. Leng was going to be their pilot?

"Edi?" Garrus repeated under his breath, glancing between Shepard and the display.

"Of course Mr. Gunn." The VI answered Leng pleasantly as he vanished into the cockpit, ignoring Garrus. "I am surprised Mrs. Gunn is accompanying you on your business trip." Surprised? Since when were VI's surprised?

"You're surprised?" Rael looked up at a security camera rather than the swirling ruby globe. He hated that in human-tech; everything was designed to draw your eyes away from where they should have been looking.

"Indeed, Spectre Reegar," The camera fixed on him and he suppressed a desire to wave at it. "Your presence is unanticipated as well, though not unwelcome."

"How do you know who I am?"

"My airlocks are equipped with state-of-the-art scanner technology to identify anyone who comes aboard. Though I confess, due to your envirosuit, I had to rely on identifying you by your vocal patterns. I'm pleased my guess was correct."

"That's handy."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Rael returned without a second thought, then shook himself. He was making small talk with a computer. He really needed more friends.

The ship began to hum, but that was the only sign it had started to take off. The internal dampeners completely masked their lift-off, which even on the best of ships should have required all hands to brace for mild turbulence. Reverse-engineered Reaper tech had done wonders for the galaxy.

"EDI, start up the armory's mini-fabricators," Leng's voice broke the silence as he strode back into CIC. "All four of us need to be outfitted for this mission."

"Of course, Mr. Gunn."

Rael flung himself against the wall of the hull and clung to piping in a panic. "Who's piloting the ship!" He squeaked.

"I am." The VI explained gently, "I am fully programmed to pilot through all non-combat scenarios, though should we be caught in one without pilot, I have personality imprints from Flight Lieutenant Jeffrey Moreau to simulate organic-error."

Rael wasn't sure he wanted to let go of the railing just yet. "Personality imprints are quarian tech. Religious, sacred quarian tech. How do you have them?"

"I'm afraid I have a block preventing me from answering that question."

Shepard and Garrus snorted, then started chuckling together at some private joke. "Good luck, kid." Shepard rolled her eyes.

"You of course have full Spectre clearance to any non-classified information." The VI, who Rael was beginning to suspect wasn't a VI at all, assured him. "Though I am afraid I cannot divulge anything outside of civilian clearance in the presence of Mr. Vakarian."

"Civilian?" Garrus gaped, "You're restricting me to civilian clearance? And here I thought we were friends," He muttered incredulously.

"I am not nearly as reckless as the original EDI."

"Or as nice." Despite how jovial he sounded, Archangel looked like he was contemplating how to tear the VI out of the ship.

"You want to check out the main battery?" Shepard cooed, steering Garrus away from the display with a soothing hand on his arm, "Come on big guy, let's go look at the guns."

"I wouldn't be surprised if they mass-produced the Thanix canon too…" He muttered as they left.

"You're mass-produced?" Rael blinked.

"I'm afraid I have a block preventing me from answering that question."

"Just ignore him EDI." Leng rolled his eyes and left towards the back of the ship. Rael shrugged and followed him, the varren on his heels. He could talk to EDI anywhere in the ship, after all.

As he followed him, Rael was unnervingly aware of how sterile the interior of the ship was. The airlock opened into CIC, which held all of a table displaying the galaxy map. An elevator behind the table led to other levels of the ship, where Shepard and Garrus had gone. Behind the elevator was where the wetboy was headed, to what Rael guessed was the armory.

It was all so empty. It was smaller than the original Normandy, but with just the four of them (five, counting the varren) it seemed vast. Like someone had taken the legendary ship and gutted all that it had stood for, leaving them with little more than a husk.

His mother had told him the crew had been abducted by the Collectors once. Only the ground team had been spared, and they'd been so stricken by the hollow corridors and abandoned posts they'd gathered together in the debriefing room, unwilling to subject themselves to the grim sight.

It made his skin crawl to know this ship was supposed to be like this. To have the feel of a coffin waiting to be filled. So he followed Leng, deciding poor company was better than no company.

"Is she an AI? Like the original EDI?" Rael asked, talking to calm his nerves as they circled around the elevator. "Does Cerberus mass-produce AI's? That's against Council law you know. The geth weren't even true AI when we got thrown from the Citadel. I could report you for that,"

"But you're not going to." Leng keyed open a hololock for the armory. Rael clambered up onto a table to keep himself out of range of the varren. It plopped down on its haunches and stared up at him, whining pitifully. He almost felt bad…

"I was kidding."

"Then your sense of humor's as bad as Vakarian's."

"He has a good sense of humor." Leng ignored him.

"Mr. Gunn," EDI spoke up, perhaps now that Garrus was gone. Her crimson sphere lit up a VDU besides Leng, which he cringed and flinched away from, "Cerberus protocol is very clear with non-sentient alien life forms. Will you be confining the varren to the cargo hold?"

"Shut up EDI."

"Logging you out."

"That was rude."

"It's a computer."

"She's an AI! That means she's sentient. And why does she keep calling you Mr. Gunn?"

Leng glared over his shoulder from the terminal he'd been typing on, "Because that's my name. Just like Allison Gunn is my wife's name." He hissed between grit teeth, eyebrows knitted together in exasperation.

"Oh… okay…" Rael started to kick his feet, which made the varren bounce up and try to nip at them. Rael yelped, terrified, and yanked his feet back onto the table.

"Try not to wet your suit," The wetboy muttered as he turned back to his work.

"What are you working on?"

"Weaponry we'll need for your little project."

"Like what?"

"Leave me alone. Go talk to the ship."

"You instructed me to disregard Spectre Reegar's queries, Mr. Gunn."

"Order retracted, humor him and leave me alone." Leng smashed his hands down on the console in front of him without turning around, making the varren growl at him. Rael stared down at the warbeast, bewildered. Was it trying to protect him?

"Logging you out."

"Where am I supposed to-"

"Kid, if I have to hear one more synthesized word come out of that speaker of yours…"

Rael jumped off the table and tugged on his belt, glancing around the armory. Holding back a sigh, he wandered out of the room. The varren nudged at his dangling hand and without even thinking about it, Rael scratched its eyeridge. "Should I call you EDI?" Rael glanced at the nearest security camera.

"That will suffice, Spectre Reegar."

"Well, then you can call me Rael. Where are the crew quarters?"

"Take the elevator to the crew deck. They are opposite the main battery." Rael wandered into the elevator with the varren and did as she said. He was more than tempted to spy on Shepard and Garrus, but when the doors opened, he completely forgot what he'd planned to do.

Rael was stunned into silence. Maintenance drones and mechs flitted past him, the mechs offering polite "Excuse me"'s as they did so. They scuttled about the ship, through the vents, into the elevator, a hive of synthetics he'd unknowingly wandered into. And he'd thought the ship seemed dead.

"What- … What is all this?" He stammered as he made his way to the crew quarters.

"This is a recon ship, as opposed to a personal transport. It requires a crew to maintain it. In this case, that crew is synthetic."

Rael opened his mouth and closed it multiple times, struggling to suppress several hows whats and whys. Instead he scampered into the crew quarters and closed the door behind him and the varren. With a shrug, he picked a bed and locker and started putting away his weapons and armor.

"So, your personality imprints…" Rael began, throwing himself onto his bed, "You don't seem like the Jeff Moreau my mother told me about." The varren leapt up immediately after him and curled up against his feet. Rael tried not to cringe.

"They only help to simulate his decisions during a firefight." EDI explained, lighting up the VDU beside his bunk.

"So your personality is like the original EDI?"

"With several modifications and increased security protocols. My memory banks are easily accessible to remove any classified intel I may overhear. Unlike the original EDI, I would also never go rogue. Nor would I self-terminate."

"You like being restricted to a bluebox?"

"I am programmed to."

"About self-terminating, what do you know about what happened?"

"I'm sorry, Rael, that information is classified."

"Could you ask L-uhhh… Ask Solomon if you can tell me?" Edi's terminal went dark to signify she was discussing the matter with Leng. Rael thought it was polite of her to let him know, since he knew she could easily talk to both of them simultaneously. He started rubbing his foot against the varren at his feet in the meantime, and it started up a low growl of contentment.

"Solomon Gunn's override accepted." Edi announced after a suitable length of time. "The original EDI self-terminated after the successful rescue of Earth from the Reaper assault, and the decommission of the SR-2. Annotations from the logs indicate it was the death of Jeffrey Moreau that prompted the action."

Rael sighed, throwing his arms over his mask. "My mom never told me that, either."

"The information is classified, Rael." Edi pointed out.

"Yeah… but she told me a lot of classified information. I guess just not as much as I thought." Rael tapped his foot against the varren, which didn't seem to mind the nervous twitch. He was stewing in his own depression for several more minutes before he grew tired of himself. "How long until we reach the fuel-depot?"

"ETA thirty minutes, Rael."

"Do you have any more information on Shepard and her old missions?"

"Much of it is classified." The red sphere danced apologetically. "I'm afraid I could not tell you more than what the Council would already have informed you of."

"Could you ask Solomon what you can tell me?"

The room went dark again, making the varren sit up in alarm. It was almost cute. Maybe he should come up with a name for it… Shepard's old varren had been named Urz…

"Solomon Gunn's override accepted. You have full clearance to my cache of Shepard's mission files, Rael. What would you like to know?"