Spoilers: None. Set during Season 2
Pairing: Jeff/Annie
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - M

Disclaimer: © NBC I do not own Community, or the characters. I'm just borrowing them.

It's early morning when Jeff stalks the Greendale Campus. It's bright and sunny; a cool breeze catches his button down and tickles it slightly. There's an eerie silence, but what else should he expect at 8 am?

He stops off in the cafeteria to pay his usual 50¢ for black coffee and he turns in time to see Abed and Troy finishing their breakfast. "Doesn't Pierce feed you?"

"Jeff, I am not a pet." Troy rolls his eyes and places his tray on top of the garbage can, looking like a hurt puppy.

"Yeah Jeff, this isn't Turner and Hooch."

"Could've fooled me; only I think Pierce is the ugly dog." They walk down the empty hallway and Jeff holds the door open for the three of them to file into the library.

Shirley and Britta are already waiting for them. Both women have matching blank looks on their faces. Scared looks perhaps. "What's going on?" Jeff studies the room; it's all in order except… except for Annie's backpack seated on the chair, her usually neat and orderly notes litter the carpet. Shirley hands him an envelope, his name scribbled on the front. He pulls out a ripped piece of paper and scans the lines of the most illegible chicken scratch.

"Dear Mr. J Winger,

The object of thy's affection is now where in sight. Hmmm. If you wish to see her again, you WILL meet my demands! Chow.

*Doubles or Singles? It's your choice. But if you choose unwisely, Andy Roddick is your worst enemy."

Dr. E. C

"Oh, what's it say? What's it say?" Shirley's high pitched voice is sad and curious. Her hands are wrung painfully together.

"Someone has Annie."

"Huh!" Britta and Shirley cover their mouths.

"Who would take Annie?"

"I don't know Troy. It's signed, Dr. E. C." Jeff grips the flimsy piece of shredded paper until he puts a nail sized hole in the corner of it. "We have to find her." He shoves the paper into his back pocket. "Whoever has Annie is playing a game with us. He's leaving us ridiculous riddles. Abed and Troy, come with me. Shirley and Britta stay here, see if you can find anything that was left behind."

"On it!" Britta takes Shirley's hand and the three boys head out in search of the next clue.

"So, 'Doubles or singles, it's your choice. But if you chose unwisely, Andy Roddick is your worst enemy.'" Jeff recites the last part of the note.

"Any Roddick is one of the top-ranked tennis players in America. He plays singles, is married to Brooklyn Decker, and his fastest serve clocks in at 155mph." Troy nods in amazement as Abed lists Roddick's credentials.

"His wife is HOT!" Jeff ignores Troy's added outburst.

"Then I guess we go to the tennis courts."

Greendale's courts look like the Wild, Wild West. Tumbleweeds and crows lurk around the deserted area. The nets are missing and the ball return machine is dilapidated and rusty. Though, there's a single racquet propped up against one of the poles that used to hold the nets in place. It's brand new, red and shiny. A folded piece of paper is taped to the strings of the racquet face. Bending lightly in the breeze. Jeff rips it off and throws the racquet on the ground, it bounces before laying still.

"Ah, so you figured out my first riddle. Good for you Mr. Winger. I have to say, you have great taste in women. She's a feisty one, this Annie. But she's strong willed. I like it. Not to mention the rack on her. Anyway, if you're thirsty and you know it, don't drink out of this fountain. It's across the quad and through the cafeteria to _ _ you go."

"We know it's a water fountain."

"Duh Troy. Which one? There's a lot of these things scattered on campus that I wouldn't drink out of." Jeff knows is temper is on a short leash, but he can't help it.

"Ok, well, let's get to the cafeteria; see if the girls found anything." Troy suggests, haven already forgotten about the hot tempered attitude from before. Jeff is practically sprinting before Troy can finish and they take off after.

He comes to a stuttering stop in order to round the corner into the cafeteria. He almost runs into Shirley. "Sorry."

"Oh that's alright Jeffry. Britta and I haven't been able to find anything. She's really gone Jeff. Oh dear. Poor sweet Annie, abducted by monsters. She's probably so scared and all alone and-" Troy and Abed move to console Shirley.

"This is all a game. He or she, is leading us around by our dicks, sorry ladies, with cutesy little riddles. They want us to find them. Look…" He hands Britta the second riddle, perplexed she puts it in Shirley's open palm. She too, is baffled.

"I wouldn't drink out of any of these fountains. Do you know how many people put their mouths all over the faucet? Or how many people put there germy hands all over that bar thingy?"

"You can tells us the statistics later Britta."

The group stands in silence for a moment, before Troy's epiphany.

"Aha! I got it! We're probably looking for a water fountain with an Out-of Oder sign."

"Good thinking Troy." Jeff pats him on the shoulder and Troy gives a wide smile.

"Thank you Jeff. That means a lot." He puffs out his chest momentarily before getting the eye, from Abed.

"It's has to be somewhere in the back of this building. 'Across the quad and through the cafeteria.' What's behind the cafeteria?"

"A TV storage closet, the dump and…the old infirmary. I used that space for one of my youtube documentaries." Jeff turns Abed to look at him.

"Abed, I need you to think really, really hard; did you see any water fountains while filming?" He shakes his head with indifference.

"Sorry Jeff. I wasn't doing an expose on water or drinking fountains. Can't say I was looking for one either."

"Dammit!"

"We can always look Jeff." Britta was right. There was no harm in going and looking.

The old infirmary was used before Greendale became an actual campus; now they have the upscale retro one that Jeff spent some time getting to know after his attack on the first day back. Anyway, there's no lock, but the door has a tendency to stick. It takes their combined weight to jiggle the door free and a cloud of dust sweeps past them. They are left coughing and choking on the dry, musty air. There's no working lights in here either. So, Jeff pulls out his blackberry and shines a dim light on the darkened room. Cobwebs, cobwebs, a broom, more cobwebs, a mop, anold desk, a dingy curtain, a pile of rotting paper and…. at the far end of the room, right next to an exit sign is a drinking fountain. A cardboard sign reads, "OUT OF ORDER!" Jeff scampers towards the back of the room, his feet sliding on some of the rotting paper. He pushes on the bar and the rusty, dark brown water comes rumbling out of the faucet.

"Ugh. Gross." Britta makes a disgusted face and Jeff turns over the sign and sees the white note taped to it.

"Can't stump you for a second Mr. Winger. Try as I might. But you have one last stop before you meet your doom. In one of these corners of this room lies your next clue. Chop, chop!"

Jeff searches each corner of the infirmary. The dim light from his phone is just enough to see what is, or isn't there. The last corner, near the front doors where the group first came in through, is a tube of red paintballs and an air tank. The note attached reads, "Where do I belong? Would that this paint, where a time paint."

"Dean Pelton's room!" They blindly follow Jeff to the Dean's office. It's locked but Britta hands him a paper clip from her notebook and he easily picks the lock. Once inside they search the room, his supply closet is slightly ajar. Jeff opens it to reveal… the black and orange paintball gun. He pulls it off the shelf. "Chang!" He grits his teeth then, pulls out the final note.

"Come and get me Jeff! When the football team is done at night, they come here to freshen up."

Troy and Abed head back to the cafeteria to look for supplies. They tape a makeshift shield (made from foil) to the front of Jeff's shirt. "Do, or do not. There is no try Jeff."

"Thanks Yoda." He leaves the group in a lone search for Annie. He attaches the air tank and the canister to the plastic gun. Now he makes his way to the locker rooms at the far end of campus.

"I'm coming Annie!"

With War Paint and gun fully loaded, he sneaks into the 'compound' taking out Starburns and… Professor Professorson? "Dammit Jeffery!" Starburns throws down his gun and sits on the floor. Professor Professorson wilts down onto the ground like a dying flower. "Oh, you've shot me dear Jeffery. You've slain me to save your precious Annie. How heroic, how beautiful, how-" His head tilts to the side, motionless he lays. "And… scene." Jeff finishes for him and steps over their bodies.

He scans the locker room; there's no one here. It's silent. He hears the trickling of water and notices the steam climbing from the showers. He uses the rows of lockers as cover. Peeking around each corner, before sliding against another row.

He ducks behind a shower stall. "Ooh Jeeeeeff." Chang sings his name while he stands in the middle of the showers, spinning in circles, cautious of the dark corners. "Ooh Jeeeeeff." It's a bit more forceful now, still Jeff stay crotched and quiet. He peeks his head out just a tiny bit and Annie's eyes go wide and she tries to fight against her restraints, but Jeff slants a finger over his lips and she drops her head as if she hasn't seen a thing. "JEFFERY!" Chang's previous calm demeanor has broken.

"I'm right here Chang." Jeff stays hidden, watching as Chang nervously behind him. Maybe the steam wasn't such a good idea after all. "Come out; come out where ever you are. I'm WAITING!" Chang gives a menacing laugh and Jeff emerges from his spot and slowly walks towards Chang, steam parting as he moves through it.

"Hello Chang." He taps him on the shoulder and he turns so that they're face to face.

"That's DR. Evil Chang to you Jeffery."

"Whatever happened to Senor Chang? I mean the guy was off his rocker a bit, but kidnapping, I don't think so." Jeff wags his finger at Dr. Evil Chang, scolding his bad decision.

"I was tired of him getting stepped on by you and your little study group. All he ever wanted was to be apart of something beautiful. And you wouldn't let him. Well, now I've come here to take it for him. I'll give you Annie, if you left Senor Chang into your group."

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Annie vehemently shaking her head, 'no'.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say… not a fat chance in hell."

"I'll ask you again Jeffery."

"Go right ahead. I assure the answer is still, no."

"Jeffrey, I'll give you Annie if you give Senor Chang a seat at your round table."

"It's more of a square table, but… no."

"Then you leave me no choice Mr. Winger. Do you have any last words for Miss Annie? Any declarations of love or hugs and kisses?"

"Meh."

"Very well then." Dr. Evil Chang turns his back on Jeff and Jeff uses his abnormally long arms to pull Annie from her seated position and when Chang turns around; he fires the paintball gun, a single round splat of red paint hits him square between the eyes. Chang, shocked by the outcome, falls to his knees. "You shot me Winger."

"And scene."

He unties Annie and who jumps up to her feet and throws her arms around his shoulders. "My hero." She kisses his cheek a few times and thinking she's done, he turns his face and she plants a kiss to his lips. They both pull back slightly, still locked in each other's embrace. Without hesitation, he leans in once more and their mouths effortlessly melt together, like warm, sweet chocolate. Their tongues tangle together and her knees go weak. A groan interrupts their delicate moment.

"Whaat happened?" With foreheads resting together, their eyes are averted to Senor Chang rubbing his head.

"Jeff? Annie? What are we doing in… the football team's locker room?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but Annie and I were just leaving." With the paintball gun in one hand, and his other arm slung over Annie shoulders; the two make their way back across campus. Leaving Senor/Dr. Evil Chang dazed and confused.

"Jeff?"

"Yeah Annie?"

"Thank you." She gives him a kiss on the cheek, her hand rubbing his back as they walk.

"Eh, it was nothing. I just wish I had time to rent a white horse. Which would have really been the icing on the cake."

"Of course. But your skills with a paintball gun really got me all hot and bothered."

"Did it really? How about now?"

"Why don't you kiss me to find out?"