A/n: I was so pleased with the response I got with the first chapter that I stayed up until 2 o'clock in the morning to finish this for you to have out today, only getting three hours asleep before I had to get for my morning class! That saying I hope you enjoy this!
"Is Carl in?" A miserable looking Emma asked as she approached the receptionists desk in Dr. Howell's office.
The friendly older woman took one look at the distraught red head and her face immediately contorted in sympathy. "Yes sweetheart, he just finished with his last appointment you can go on back."
"Thank you." Emma managed a whisper past her tightened throat. The woman gave her a small, sad smile as Emma turned and opened the door leading away from the waiting area. She walked the familiar hall down to Carl's office and spotted him leaning over his computer and she knocked quietly on the open door.
Carl lifted his head in surprise and glanced over his shoulder, smiling brightly at seeing his girlfriend. "Hey Ems, I didn't expect to see you here."
Emma only nodded quietly, stepping into the room and Carl's smile immediately fell once he caught sight of Emma's bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.
"Ems?" He approached her in two quick strides and Emma whimpered quietly before collapsing into his arms.
Carl blinked in confusion, his arms coming around her in a gentle, protective hold.
"What's going on, Emma?" Carl asked rubbing her back softly. Emma sobbed loudly into his chest and gripped onto him tighter shaking her head slowly. Carl furrowed his brow and tightened his hold on her, resting his chin on top of her head. A look of realization quickly spread across his face, there was one another time that Emma had come to him in hysterics.
"What did he do?" Carl demanded gently. "I swear to God Emma if Schuester did anything to hurt you..."
Emma mumbled something incoherent into his scrubs.
"What was that?" Carl questioned, his brow furrowing.
Emma pulled away from his chest and glanced up at him, sniffling quietly. "He slept with his ex-wife." She blubbered miserably.
Carl's concerned and stern facial expression quickly faded into one of confusion. "Will?"
Emma nodded quietly avoiding his gaze. He opened his mouth to respond, inhaled and then shut his mouth, furrowing his brow in thought. "I uh- I don't understand. You're upset because Will slept with his ex-wife?"
Emma chocked out a sob and fell back into the dentists chair, burying her face into her hands. Carl bit down on his lower lip, eyeing his distraught girlfriend for a moment before pulling over his wheely chair and sitting down in front of her. "I get the feeling that's not the only thing thats upsetting you."
Emma peeked out from in between her fingers at Carl's questioning yet apprehensive look. "We got into a fight." Emma admitted quietly.
"You and Will?" Carl asked as if the answer wasn't completely obvious.
"He said...that I still had feelings for him." Emma went on slowly, wincing as she waited for Carl's reaction.
Carl stared at her silently, sucking on his lower lip for a moment. "And do you?"
Emma's eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock and no mater how badly she wanted to deny it words seemed to fail her.
A sardonic smile crossed Carl's lips as he bowed his head for a moment and then rose from his seat, running his fingers through his hair, letting out a slow breath through pursed lips.
Emma lifted herself from her seat slightly, reaching out for him but then let her hand fall to her side and fell back into the chair, her eyes tearing up again. "Carl..."
"Silence speaks volumes, Em." Carl spoke distantly, staring at the ceiling for a moment before turning to glance over his shoulder at her.
Emma shook her head fervently, tears spilling down her cheeks as she rose from her seat and approached him. "No Carl I-I don't..." She trailed off and swallowed over the lump in her throat before responding meekly, "I..I love you."
Carl fully turned around to face and eyed her suspiciously. "Do you?"
"Of course." Emma answered a little too quickly.
Carl's face scrunched up in skepticism as he shook his head slowly, letting out a sigh.
"Carl-" She protested, moving in closer, reaching out to touch his chest but he backed away. Emma looked like she just got slapped and tears pricked her eyes.
"You want to know what I think?" Carl asked calmly and Emma said nothing, too afraid to speak.
"I think Will's right."
Emma's eyes widened and she shook her head again, gaping at him silently.
Carl released a deep sigh and began pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair, biting down on his lip and finally letting out a small bitter chuckle.
"Emma you used to rave about him. I don't think you even realized how much you talked about him last year. All I could think was, 'Man, that Will Schuester must be one lucky guy' because he had all of your heart. A love like that...it just doesn't go away that easily no matter how badly you want it to." Carl paused and glanced at the terrified looking Emma.
"It wasn't just Will who did the partaking in Toucha Touch Me, was it?" He cocked an eyebrow at her and Emma's eyes widened and then her chin dropped to her chest as a few tears dropped down her cheeks.
"And you are upset now, not really because he accused you of having feelings for him still but because when you learned he slept with his ex-wife your heart broke."
Emma's hands flew to her mouth to suppress a whimper and she shook her head against her hands.
Carl sighed heavily, perching himself on the arm rest of the dentists chair and he stared at Emma sternly. "Emma...I think...we need to take a break."
Emma's head whipped up, her tears now streaming down her face. "No." She whimpered in protest. "Carl, we don't need to do that. This is just me being silly, it'll blow over."
"No it won't Ems." He replied certainly. "Look, I'm not saying forever. You just need to get your feelings sorted out, you're still not over Will and now is not the right time for us."
Emma whimpered quietly and took a few steps towards him but he quickly rose from his sitting position and slid across the room back to his computer, turning his back towards her.
"Carl..." She whispered breathlessly.
"Please go, Emma." He instructed, deepening his voice to enhance his demand.
Emma closed her eyes for a brief second, taking a shuddering breath, blinking through her tears to take one last look at Carl's tensed back and then retreating out of the room. Once she was out of Carl's office she took off in a sprint down the hallway, running through the waiting room, ignoring the concerned look of the kind woman at the reception desk and into the heavily pouring rain.
She ran through puddles, nearly slipping on the wet concrete until she reached her car. As soon as she was safely inside her car a violent sob wracked through her body.
She cried hysterically in her car, her forehead pressed up against the steering wheel as her arms wrapped around her upper torso trying to keep the pain in her chest from spreading to the rest of her body.
After a good five minutes of crying until her head ached she lifted her head and peered with blurry vision through the windshield wiper. She panted heavily as she narrowed her eyes and violently turned the key into the ignition, her destination set in mind.
Will slammed the door to his apartment closed, crashed his back up against the door, ran his fingers through his hair, gripping his curls until he cried out in frustration and pain. He cursed under his breath as he kicked the wall opposite him, chipping the paint with the toe of his shoe.
He ran his hand miserably over his face, desperately fighting back angry tears that poked at his eyes.
He hated this.
He absolutely hated this.
He hated the way Emma made him feel. He hated the way he loved her so much every time he looked at her his heart shattered into a million pieces. He hated the way she could frustrate him so easily because of her obvious suppressing of her feelings for him. He hated that even though she was mad at him and he was mad at her the only thing he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her until she could hardly breathe.
But worst of all he hated the fact that he could be such an asshole to her.
As if Shelby and April weren't enough he had to go and sleep with his ex-wife of all people. He knew how Emma felt about Terri and if he ever wanted to win her back sleeping with her was not the way to do it.
What he had told Emma was true, technically it was none of her business and she had no right to care who he went out with because she was taken herself. But Will knew Emma and somewhere deep inside him Will knew that she did still have feelings for him and leaning about what he did with Terri would kill her. And kill their chances of ever being together.
He gritted his teeth and slammed his foot into the wall again, growling quietly under his breath as he stormed through the hallway and into the living room. He threw himself face down onto the couch burying his face into one of the pillows.
It had been a long time since Emma had been on that couch but he could swear that there were still traces of her perfume on the fibers of the pillow. He inhaled deeply, drinking in as much Emma as he could.
He laid there for who knows how long, his mind swarming with thoughts of Emma, their fight, and what the hell he was going to do now. His brain started to go foggy with the lack of oxygen he was bringing upon himself by keeping his face tightly sealed against the pillow and had even started to drift off when he heard a loud banging on his door.
He wasn't sure who it was and quite frankly he didn't really care. It could have been his landlord, or an angry neighbor, or his friggin ex-wife who'd somehow found out about his fight with Emma and came to gloat but whoever it was he just wanted to be left alone.
But the knocker was persistent and clearly would not be giving up anytime soon. He groaned loudly into the pillow and slithered toward the door, yanking it open, ready with some snarky remark until he saw who was on the other side.
A soaking wet Emma Pillsbury stood outside his apartment, her eyes narrowed into a glare.
The two stood staring at each other, a glower on her face, a guarded expression on his until Will finally broke the silence with a clear of his throat and waved her in to his apartment with an outstretched arm.
She huffed quietly and marched into the apartment, spinning around to face him as he closed the apartment door slowly, staring at her anxiously.
"Well." She started, a quiver in her voice. "I hope you're happy."
Will blinked at her for a moment, his brow furrowed and he cocked his head to the side. "And what exactly would I be happy about?"
"Carl broke up with me." She stated, fuming. "Because of you."
Will's eyebrows shot up and he pursed his lips. He let out a slow breathe through his lips and very slowly a smirk began to form on his lips. A low rumble began in his chest until it bursted through his lips in a low chuckle and grew into a laugh until he was practically doubled over in laughter.
Emma gaped at him in shock and anger. He was laughing?
"Will Schuester what is so funny?" She demanded angrily.
He wiped the tears from his eyes as he let out a few last chuckles and shook his head looking straight at her. "You are."
"Excuse me?"
"You're very funny Emma. Very funny." He chuckled deeply to himself as he leisurely strolled passed her. Her eyes narrowed as she took in his casual, non chalant attitude and she stormed after him into the living room.
"Where do you think you're going? And why exactly am I funny?" She placed her hands on her hips, glowering at him.
"Do you think that my intent in life is to make you miserable, Em?" He questioned suddenly, whirling around to face her, his serious face betraying the grin he held just seconds before.
His question caught her off guard and she eyed him silently for a few seconds, swallowed hard and regained her stern composure. "It kind of seems like that, yes."
Will shook his head slowly, angry, hateful (at himself) tears pricking at his eyes. "Well thats where you're wrong, Emma. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy."
"You're not doing a very good job." Emma's voice was quieter but still held that anger.
Will's eyes snapped to her and they narrowed slightly. "I'm not perfect, Emma." He hissed quietly. "I'm sorry I hurt you in the past but you cannot blame me for Carl breaking up with you!"
"It's your fault, Will!" She cried, her tears already starting to form again.
"How?" He demanded, taking a few steps toward her. "How the hell is it my fault? I didn't tell Carl to break up with you!"
"No you didn't but Carl seems to agree with you!"
Will's face contorted in confusion. "Agree with me about what?" He exclaimed.
Emma was silent then just staring at him with narrowed, tear filled eyes, her breathing heavy and trying desperately to stop her lips from quivering. She shook her head slowly, biting down on her lip and avoiding his gaze.
"Emma." His voice demanded an answer from her and she set her eyes on him again.
"I was happy with him Will." Emma began calmly but firmly. "And then you come along and mess up everything. He doesn't want to be with me because he thinks that I still have to work out my feelings."
"He's right Emma." Will responded, his voice raised slightly. "Your reaction before was not nothing Emma and you can't just ignore it and your relationship with Carl will never be real -"
Emma's eyes flashed with searing hot anger and she cut him off before he had a chance to finish his sentence. "You don't know a thing about Carl and I! What we had was realer than you can ever imagine!"
Will sneered. "Oh because I'm a slut, right? I wouldn't know the first thing about what it means to really love somebody."
Emma's fists clenched into hands at her sides as tears rolled angrily down her flaring red cheeks. "I hate you Will." She hissed quietly.
Will bit out a loud, bitter laugh. "Well that's a refreshing change of pace isn't it? At least you feel something for me now."
Emma shook her head slowly, her eyes narrowing into slits. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Will scoffed. "You've been practically ignoring me the last few months. You're trying to pretend that we didn't exist. I know I hurt you Emma and I'm sorry but you can't just ignore that there was an us. You can't just run away from everything just because you're scared!"
Emma gaped at him, her eyes flashing with anger and hurt.
"Don't you dare give me that look." He growled, narrowing his eyes and stepping closer to her. "You know I'm right. But guess what Emma, you're not the only one who's scared. I'm not as strong as you think Emma. Losing the baby, going through a divorce its not easy and I wasn't ready Emma. The only relationship I had ever been in lasted fifteen years and was a bit of a hell hole. I had never, not once, loved anyone else besides Terri and then I meet you." His voice and face softened as he ran his hands through his hair.
Her chest rose and fell heavily as she clenched her jaw shut and kept her eyes on him, her glare softening somewhat.
"I meet you and you change everything. Everything I've ever known, everything I've ever felt completely changed and I didn't know what to do about it. Having strong feelings for another woman while I was still married scared the hell out of me and after I separated from Terri and started something with you...I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew is that I wanted to be with you and I rushed in without thinking and yes, I panicked when I learned that you had no relationship experience because I hadn't been in that position since I was fifteen years old."
He approached her quickly and her eyes widened and she faltered back, her breath catching in her chest. "But I don't want you to think for a tiny moment that I didn't love you. All those women they were mistakes Emma. Mistakes made by a stupid little boy who is trapped inside my head. They mean nothing to me! Shelby, April, Terri: They mean nothing. It's you Emma. It was always and it will forever be-"
He was cut off suddenly by Emma suddenly taking fistfuls of his shirt and yanking him forward, crashing their lips together in a fiery kiss. Will's wasted no time in returning the kiss and his hands flew to the back of her head, intwining his fingers in her red curls as he brought them closer together. Will stumbled back until the back of his knees hit the arm rest of the couch and using it for support he brought Emma even closer. Emma's fists unclenched from around his shirt and trailed up to his shoulders and he growled lowly in the back of his throat as she dug her fingernails into his skin. Her body started to shake in his arms and she broke away from the kiss with a violent sob, covering her mouth with her hands as she backed away slowly.
Confusion was etched into Will's brow as he stood there silently, his eyes eventually fluttering open to catch her gaze from across the room. She stifled a whimper beneath her hands as she slowly shook her head back and forth.
"I-I have to go." She muttered quietly and quickly turned on her heels, marching towards the door, her pounding heartbeat too loud in her ears to hear Will behind her.
She quickly grabbed for the door handle and began to pull it open but a hand shot out above her and slammed the door closed. Her body tensed and she whirled over her shoulder coming face to face with a determined Will. Her breath caught in her throat at how close they actually were: their noses brushed, she could feel his hot breath against her quivering lips. Will's arms came to rest on either side of her blocking her from moving anywhere, not that she would be able to anyway, she was glued to the spot, drawn in by his intense eyes.
"Don't run away, Emma." He commanded softly and then added in a near whimper, "Please."
Never losing eye contact with him, Emma shook her head slowly. "Will, I-I can't.."
One of his hands moved to gently cradle the side of her face and she gasped as his hand burned against her cheek. A few tears slid from her eyes and careened over his fingers as she let out a quiet whimper.
"I can't let you go." He whispered passionately. "I won't let you go, not again."
Emma bit down on her lip, continuously shaking her head as she broke their intense gaze by closing her eyes.
"Talk to me, Emma." His gentle and sweet voice insisted.
"About what, Will?" She demanded softly, frustrated tears falling as she reopened her eyes.
"About what just happened. Why did you kiss me?"
Emma lifted her shoulders in a shrug and stared at the ground, her breathing heavy. "I-I don't...I don't know." She whispered.
Will's hand slipped under her chin and tilted her head forward so their eyes met. "I think you do know."
It was then that Emma noticed the glistening in his eyes. Tears brimmed at his eyelids as he stared deep into her own and he caressed her cheek lightly with his thumb. "I don't want to play this game anymore, Em. My heart can't handle it and neither can yours. If you don't have feelings for me anymore, tell me." A single tear rolled down his cheek and suddenly Emma found it hard to breathe. "I won't be happy about it but I'll accept it and move on but if you love me Emma, even just a little bit please don't run away from it. Don't run away from us. I know you're scared but running away isn't going to solve anything."
A little sob bubbled from Emma's lips. "I can't be hurt again, Will."
Will hesitantly took her into his arms, holding her tighter when she didn't resist his hold. "I know I haven't been very trustworthy lately but if you let me in I promise I'll never do anything like this again." He buried his face into her hair, letting more tears roll down his cheeks. "I love you too much to be so stupid."
Emma rested her hands lightly on his chest and buried her face in his shirt, crying quietly. "I don't know what to do." She whimpered.
"What does your heart tell you?" He prompted.
Emma was quiet for a long while, her body shaking quietly in his warm and protective hold. She listened to the sound of his rapid, strong heart beat and compared it to the sound of her own racing heart.
"It's-" She finally began quietly, turning her head to rest sideways on his chest as she stared off at the wall. "It's - It's telling me that I love you."
A shuddering breath, almost sounding like a strangled sob, escaped Will's lips and his arms tightened around her and she felt a few tears drop onto her scalp.
"But I can't Will...I can't...not if you keep..." She trailed off and buried her face into his chest, another round of tears springing to her eyes.
Will released his arms around her and brought his hands to her face forcing her to look at him. "What I did with Terri has nothing to do with you Em. It has nothing to do with her either. I felt nothing when it happened, Em. Nothing. I don't love her anymore. I only want you."
Silently and without another word he guided her lips up to his own and kissed her gently, softly and with all the love he possessed for her in his body. A muffled sob escaped from Emma into the kiss because she could feel it. Whether or not her mind believed it yet she could feel, in that one kiss, how much Will really loved her. Their tears mixed together as the kiss drew on and when finally their lips parted, Emma couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips. She lifted her head to lock onto Will's bloodshot, teary eyes and let out a slow breathe.
Will closed his eyes as another tear rolled down his cheek and he very gently rested his forehead against hers. "Please don't leave me." He whimpered pathetically.
Never had she heard such desperation in such a broken man and at that point she knew how much he needed her and how much she wanted, no needed to fix him. How much she wanted to be the one to put that smile back on his face, how much she wanted him to be the one to put the smile back on hers.
She couldn't trust him fully yet, her heart was too unmended for that but that didn't mean she didn't want to try. Will was right, she couldn't keep running just because she was scared. She found Carl because of that and he made her happy but it also led up to this painful afternoon which is what she was trying to avoid all along.
Emma shook her head softly as she whispered certainly, "I'm not going anywhere."
Will's sigh of relief washed over her face and she breathed in the sweet scent of his breath. Emma wasn't sure how long they stayed like, their foreheads pressed together, their breaths mixing together in the short distance between them, Will's hands now resting on either side of her neck and his thumbs gently rubbing her dampened, slightly flushed skin.
A shiver ran through her body and escaped her lips as a soft whimper. Will then lifted his head, his lips brushing against her forehead in a meaningful kiss before he pulled away completely to look at her.
Emma's eyes fluttered open at the loss of contact and her bloodshot, tired eyes met Will's and like always in his presence, she found it hard to breathe.
"Geez, Em." His voice was soft but had a certain hoarseness to it. "You must be freezing."
It was then that she realized that her clothing was soaked and stuck to her body and she was indeed, as Will said, freezing.
She smiled shyly up at him, her arms coming to wrap around herself, her teeth chattering quietly as she nodded.
"Um..." He turned towards the hall closet and pulled it open, rifling through it and pulling out a large coat. "It's the warmest one I own." He offered with a hesitant smile.
Emma's face immediately lit up and she walked over to him slowly, taking the coat out of his arms and wrapping it around her shoulders. She was instantly surrounded by Will's overwhelming scent and her eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled deeply snuggling into the warm collar of the oversized coat.
She blushed upon opening her eyes and finding Will staring at her in amusement.
"Thank you." She whispered finding her voice was hoarse as well, most likely from all the crying and screaming she had been doing that day.
His face lit up in a smile and her heart fluttered at the sight. She bit down on her lip lightly, turned her face away shyly smiling at the ground.
"Do you want some tea...or something?" Will asked a moment later, breaking the sudden awkward silence.
She lifted her head, her smile widening and she nodded as she tightened the coat around her still shivering body. "Tea would lovely."
"One cup of tea it is." He answered warmly and Emma could swear that he actually started to skip into the kitchen. She followed behind him quietly sliding against one of the walls as she watched him rifle through one of the cabinets.
"I never imagined you'd be one to drink tea." Emma spoke as he brought the box down onto the counter. He looked over his shoulder at her flashing her a sheepish smile, his cheeks rising in a light blush.
"I - ah, bought it for you." He explained.
"For me?" Emma asked breathlessly.
"Yeah, you know..." He shrugged as he reached for the kettle. "During that brief time we were together I went out and bought it. I wanted to keep it around because I knew you loved it."
Emma's cheeks flushed as she stared at him in momentary awe.
He smiled to himself as he began to heat up the water and then leaned his back up against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and glanced over to Emma on the other side of the room.
Her hair was wet and a frantic mess on top of her head, her eyes were bloodshot, tear stains marked her face and she looked so tiny drowning in his coat but still she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever set eyes on. And she was here, with him, wanting to be with him. Without even realizing it a grin spread across his face.
Emma caught his look and blushed heavily. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked shyly.
Will chuckled heartily, "It's just been one hell of a day."
Emma scoffed lightly, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "You can say that again."
Will clasped his hands in front of him, letting out a breath and then slowly and hesitantly started walking towards her, an apprehensive look on his face as if he was afraid if he came closer she'd reject him.
Emma eyed him warily, still not sure of where they stood at the moment but for the first time in months she felt more than comfortable in his presence.
He paused only a few feet from her staring intently into her eyes, his fingers tapping nervously against his thighs.
Smiling warmly and taking him completely by surprise Emma closed the distance between them, slipping her arms around him and snuggling into his chest.
Will blinked in surprise as his arms rose slowly coming to surround her in a gentle hug. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve this, to have Emma in his arms loving him just as he loved her but he was grateful. For whatever reason Emma had decided to give him a second chance and he would not blow it this time.
Whether she knew it or not Will Schuester planned on keeping Emma Pillsbury around for a very, very long time.