Okay, Before you start reading this..

Lets get it straight.

This is a very OOC and AU fan fiction.

Summary:

Clare is in a group home and so is Eli.

They both have dark pasts that can very easily tear them apart if they leave the safe harbor of their minds.

You will see how Clare and Eli both heal with the help of each other, How Eli breaks Clare out of her shell and makes her see the world differently and encourages her to change her ways, All the while offering her a shoulder to cry on.

In this story, You will discover how love can truly conquer all and how having secrets about your past can always raise the stake of it coming back to haunt you.

Just remember, This is completely irrelevant to degrassi.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I do own the personalities and life choices, As well as the plot.

Please try to keep an open mind with this story, I can guarantee it will be great.

Warning: If you can not handle self harm, Talk of drug use, or alcohol use, You should hit the back button.

Rating M: This fanfic is rated M, because although there is not drug use, there is drug/alcohol related issues and discussions, Along with self harm. You have been warned.

I finished eating my meatloaf that was probably three days old and flung my backpack over my shoulder before I grabbed my spiral notebook and black pen before I walked to the yard where the picnic table I have gone to every morning for the past month resided.

I death glared everyone that looked at my bright pink hair, Massive eye liner, Fishnet gloves and tights along with my favorite black mini skirt, and long sleeved shirt. I made it known the moment I got to this washed up group home that if you have the guts to get in my way, You're going to wish you hadn't. But that didn't seem to be a problem here, Just like high school, Everyone had their stupid cliché group of friends, While I-of course- was an outcast. That was alright with me, Being an outcast and avoiding any form of socialization was my specialty.

Once I reached the picnic table, I brought all of my hair-That was now to my elbows- to fall over my shoulders so it covered my face and opened up my spiral journal, I immediately started to write, I always write, No matter where I am, I have a spiral notebook with me, I write poems. Reading poetry and writing poetry is the only thing that will never change in my life, I will always have it wherever life takes me, Whether it is my fifteenth group home or my moms twenty-eighth apartment, I can always write.

I continued to scribble down line after line of my poem until the abrupt light from the sun that was fanning over me was blocked and a shadow covered the top of the table.

I sighed heavily and looked up through my hair to see who was blocking my sun.

I almost stopped breathing, My eyes met piercing green eyes, His black and leather clothes with chains dangling were perfectly fitted to his tall lean body, And his hair was dark black and covering part of his eyes, I had never seen him before, But then again, I haven't talked to anyone. My stone cold, locked up and chained heart started beating at a heightened pace for a few seconds before I locked it back up and gained back my composure.

I closed my eyes in the slightest to show him my signature glare and frightening makeup. He didn't look scared or even taken aback. My eyebrows knitted together and I put down my pen.

"You're blocking my sun." I said in a flat, cold as ice tone.

Instead of leaving like I wanted him to, He sat down.

My glare turned into an absolute hate filled stare.

"What are you writing?" He asked in a completely oblivious tone, I blinked a few times, Did he not get the hint?

I wanted to tell him to leave, Or to get the fuck away from the table, But something told me if I told him to go away it would just make him stay longer.

I did my best to soften my features slightly, But not enough so that I didn't look intimidating. "A poem." I said in a bored tone.

He turned his head to the side slightly and smirked. "oh."

I sighed and closed my journal before laying my pen on top of it.

I pulled my sleeves down so that they were covering my palms a little bit and folded my hands under my chin and raised an eyebrow. "Do you need something?"

His eyes rested on my left hand and they roamed over my small tattoo of a rose with its vine wrapping around my pinky.

"Do you like roses?" He asked finally meeting my eyes.

His gaze was intense, Some other emotion was just under the surface and I couldn't figure out what it was. I stared at him for a moment trying to figure out what his problem was before I decided it was obvious, He realized getting involved with me in any way possible would be a bad idea.

My lips turned up slightly. "Yes."

"What kind?" He asked.

I looked at him confused. "Red."

He nodded and continued staring at me, I broke away from eye contact and my eyes wandered before settling on the necklace he was wearing, It was tucked in a little bit so I couldn't see what it was.

I decided to figure out, For some reason, I had a desire to know him. Not know him and be his friend, But to just know why he is here. Why he sat at my table? Why he talked to me.

"What is your necklace?" I asked breaking the silence.

He reached down and pulled it out of his shirt.

"It's just a guitar pick."

I examined it for a moment before I nodded and shifted uncomfortably looking down at my notebook, Why wasn't he leaving?

"What's your name?" He asked after a minute of yet again, Another uncomfortable silence.

"Clare." I said looking up at him through my eye lashes.

He smiled. "I'm Eli."

I nodded again and clasped and unclasped my hands. I want him to leave, But I also want him to stay. Something about him appeals to me. But letting someone else in is out of the question, If I push everyone away there is no possible way to get hurt. I have to end this now before I actually let myself be his friend or even someone that is minutely involved in my life, I began absentmindedly chewing on my lip.

"What are you in the group home for?" He asked eyes set on my lips.

I stopped biting my lip and my eyes widened. Instantly, The images I was able to keep locked up for so long flooded to the front of my brain, They flickered back and forth between the first time I went into a group home up to now, The moment I saw my mom in one of the flashing images I got up from the table.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked but I ignored him and put my notebook in my bag.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked, Confused.

Again, I said nothing. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and fast walked out of the yard, I could hear Eli yelling my name and the voices of everyone around me but once I reached the double doors that lead to the inside of the house all of the noise stopped.

I quietly walked down the hall until I reached the bathroom. I quickly went inside and locked the door. I turned on the water and dropped my bag before sliding down to cold tile floor. I opened my bag and felt around for the altoids candy tin. When I found it I opened it and lifted the clear plastic wrap that was under the mints before I spotted the small silver razor from a pencil sharpener. I balanced the tin on my knee and sighed a small shaky sigh before I rolled up my left sleeve, I examined the old cuts and the fresh cuts, The one from two nights ago was pretty deep and a little infected. I found a spot that was unscarred and slowly brought the blade across my arm. I tilted my head as the small beads of blood followed after I removed the small blade. I watched with a calm expression and an at ease atmosphere, With every cut came a price, It wasn't much, Just a scar. But the reward made it worth while, The world would stop spinning, Even if just for a minute, But it stopped, I could see clearly, I could feel happy. Even though it was for a short time, It was enough to get me by.

I tilted my arm slightly so the blood wouldn't spill on me before I put the blade back into the tin and closed it throwing it into the biggest pocket of my bag, I got up and looked in the mirror pulling my other sleeve up and examining my scars, There were many, Covering my arms, But never my legs, Just my arms. I could name the reason behind every single one. I slowly trailed my finger tips over the bumpy scars on each arm and named every reason.

It started around a year ago, I don't know how it happened, I don't know what made me do this to myself, But I know I can't stop, It is the only thing that can keep me sane, The only thing that can guarantee I will be okay. I know it has something to do with my mom, Her over use of the word boyfriend and Her under use of the word love, Moving to a different apartment every three or so months, I had went to over five different school last year before I finally gave up and dropped out. I didn't get into drugs or alcohol, My mother proved that it gets you nowhere, And I sure as hell am not going to willingly destroy my life by the use of drugs or alcohol. Instead, I got dead end jobs wherever I could, And I wrote poetry.

Sighing again in contentment I cleaned the cut that had now stopped bleeding and pulled my sleeves down.

I looked in the mirror and turned my head to make sure everything looked normal, I checked my sleeves again, And I headed out the bathroom door.

And just like every other time, I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, like nothing had ever happened. Like the walls of my life weren't crumbling and the only thing keeping them intact was the blade. Like the mysterious goth boy, Eli had no chance of holding any importance to me. Like Everything was perfect.

So, I know this writing style is different from my other stories,

But this will be good, I promise you.

Just keep an open mind, And have the ability to accept different atmospheres and personality traits for both of these characters.

Anyways, I would appreciate it if you didn't flame this story, Because I CLEARLY stated what it was about.

If you chose to not read the authors note,

Then that's your problem.

But I'll get flames no matter what..so..go ahead, torch this story, I'm going to write it no matter what.

I would also appreciate feedback, This is a new take on writing and a new story I think I will enjoy writing it. I hope you will enjoy reading it as well.

This will be many chapters..I can't tell you how many but I can guarantee it will be a lot.

Anyways, Before I bore you with my rambling,

Leave me a review?

XoXo