Karofsky has every right to be mad at Kurt. He had good reasons too.

To start off, he hated how flamboyant he was.

Lies.

He had a million and one reasons why he was mad at Kurt. Mainly because he had support. Dammit, he had support. Kurt's dad would do anything for his son. Karofsky knew this first-hand.

The only kind of security Dave had was his homophobic best friend and his parents who would disown him if they ever found out about him being gay. Maybe the hatred for Kurt was more jealously if anything. Their son – oh, god, their once perfect, Valedictorian-worthy son – wasn't supposed to be born this way. It was a mistake. If Dave wanted to be gay, he wouldn't have. He swears to God, he wouldn't have. Besides, aren't all gay people suppose to talk about how fabulous their pink purses looked?

Or.

Something like that.

Dave could care less about all that girly shit. Trust him. He would never get caught dead talking about high-end fashion and...designing...and artsy-fartsy stuff, or whatever gay people liked.

He was a bit – shut up – ignorant, but he's just trying to deal with his own issues. It wasn't that he hated gay people or anything. It was just a dirty fear that he was alone. That everyone would hate him. That everyone would want to tie him to a stake and burn him to the ground. In some countries, he would be literally be sent to prison and be put to death. Why did God have to torture him like this? What a nasty joke.

Stupid Kurt.

Stupid Kurt walking around like he owns the world.

Stupid Kurt with supportive friends.

Stupid Kurt with lucky and loving parents who actually cares.

Stupid fucking Kurt. Fuck you Kurt.

Oh god, just shut up Kurt. What are you looking at? Stupid cell phone. Are you texting your boyfriend? Oh god. Fuck him. Dave is totally Kurt's type. Kurt said he wasn't into guys like Dave only because he was mad at the moment. Dave knows that deep inside, Kurt was trying to play around with his feelings and he's totally into him. And that locker shrine of Kurt's lover. Oh god. Why couldn't Dave be up there? Why couldn't Dave have Kurt in his arms? This was a cruel joke.

Oh Porcelain.

He liked the fact he was able to send chills down Kurt's spine with a loving stare. Kurt says some inspirational shit or something and Dave's not too what the hell he says or means by it. But what he does know is this – he comes close to kissing those lips again. But he doesn't do anything and he's so damn close. His finger gently slides down Kurt's shirt, resisting to feel every inch of his lovely body, and what was this? Who was this gift for? Finn? That faggy Dalton Academy boy? It seems like Kurt is offering it to him. Maybe it's a weird kind of a symbolism for their new relationship. That's kinda cool.

At this point, Kurt's staring at him in frozen shock and he demands for the gift and he takes it. Kurt's left in fright, fear, distress, any other words than can be a synonym for 'holy-crap-why-won't-he-stop-doing-this-to-me-it's-kinda-gross-but-I-totally-like-it'.

And Kurt gets it after a while.

After all, Kurt did save his ass, in a way. He could have blabbed the truth about everything. The thought of Dave disappointing his dad even more was making his stomach weak and the fact that he was on the brink of expulsion was scary as hell. His dad would have definitely killed him if he was kicked out of this school.

And when Kurt left, a part of his heart broke. It's his fault and he wasn't going to forget this. He wasn't going to forgive himself. It fucking hurts.

The next day, Dave was welcomed back with nasty stares from the gleek freaks. And some glee chick comes up to him and she's fuming, and he swears he can see smoke steaming from her ears.

Kurt didn't transfer. She's bringing bitter lies to his ears. He tells her to shut the hell up and storms off.

...

Some fat chick replaced Kurt.

Dave had the worse time coping with this. No, this wasn't about Lauren Zizes.

But this was because his fears were coming true. He was actually alone. It was too late to open to the world. There wasn't a target to pick on anymore and Dave was an open target.

Azimio and Dave spray-painted Kurt's locker with disgusting slurs that no one should ever repeat, and they get away with it too. I mean, no one saw them right? Or something. The glee kids would get pissed and sing a song about how bullying was wrong and dance in a field of sunshiney happiness – Dave has no idea what glee club was truly about to be honest.

He's a sick man, though. How could he even torture himself like this? Who was he going to talk to about this? There was no way he was going to see Miss Pillsbury. She had her own problems to work out and seeing the school counselor for anything was sorta lame and just not cool. That was out. And Azimio was not an option. He probably wouldn't even comprehend what his best buddy in the entire universe was going through.

But.

He couldn't bottle it up anymore.

He was tearing himself apart. He couldn't think straight, everything in his mind was clouded with images of Kurt.

So he held the wedding cake ornament close to his heart. He would take it out when no one was around and he would have the brightest smile smeared across his face. Azimio caught him doing this and thought it was pretty homo.

"It is pretty homo," Dave admitted with a smug smile. "And it's ironic."

"There's nothing ironic about being homo."

"Homo this, homo that. Do you have an obsession with queers or something?" Dave responded back offensively. Shut up. It's just a stupid cake topper thingymcbobber that my dear lover in denial gave to me before his depature from the hellhole that's called William McKinely High School. Yes, I'm in love with Kurt Hummel and I don't care how cliché this sounds or how you'll beat me up for it. Because love prevails and something about love means love. Deal with it.

Dave comes back from his award-winning speech that was just played in his head and faces his bestest friend in the whole wide world. "Well. Do you?"

"Hell no," Azimio defended himself rather quickly. "Don't say shit like that. That's not funny."

It wasn't the best time to tell him. But. What if he didn't? Azimio forcefully snatches the prized comfort item from Dave's hesitant grasp. It would be stupid to fight over the only thing that causes him from snapping after all, so Dave doesn't do anything. He watches Azimio as he tosses the lovely couple in the trash and he wanted to smack that stupid look off of his face. "It was a stupid thing anyway, I found it on the floor," Dave scoffed.

But one day, he's going to tell everyone. Just not today.

an/ im sure theyre a bit out of character but i'm really trying to dig into dave's head. i'm sure he's confused as eff, and i really hope i didnt confuse anyone, lol. also, the title was inspired by the song 'hotblack' by oceanship. it's a really cool song and the music video is too. and i guess the song will/kinda fit in, but i dunno.