I Don't own Harry Potter nor does my invisible friend but I had this idea and thought it be funny. Hope you like thanks for reading.

Luna and Harry's big prank and revenge

Harry Potter was bored Ron was playing Seamus at chess while Hermione was yet again in the library. So Harry went for a wonder and as he looked around for anything that might keep his attention, while the Dementors were outside hunting for Black, it was rather confining to be inside all the time.

He spotted a pretty blonde girl staring of into space.

He smiled and walked up to her "hello what so interesting up there then?" She turned and looked at him he noticed she had the biggest most bluest eyes he had ever seen and he knew he had seen her before but could not remember where. He caught himself staring at her and blushed. "I am looking for nargles or at least their nest" She answered. Harry shrugged he wasn't Hermione, so he had no idea what nargles were. "Want some help, but I am afraid you will need to draw one for me and anything else you want me to help you look for as I have no idea what they are." He shrugged his shoulders "I might be in the magic world now but I was raised muggle." He said as way of explanation. "Unless you have a book I can look at for them." The blonde stared at him for a while then sat down opened her bag and pulled out a quill and some parchment she began drawing and by each weird and fantastic looking creature she wrote its name. When she was finished she passed him the parchment. To his shock he sort of knew what one of them was he was sure.

He got a frown on his face and started to mumble to himself. "I know I have seen this now where was it?" he started to pace back and forth as the blonde watched him. A curious expression on her face. He smiled as he caught himself and looked at her "Oh by the way my names Harry." then he continued his pacing. "Luna," she said as she started to pace along side him. "its like a name you nearly remember that's on the tip of your tongue but can't quite get out." She Looked at him cocked her head to one side and smiled "It's another name for the moon you know Luna." He shook his head and smiled "Sorry I meant this picture not your name, that is by the way so suited to you. I know the moons phases affect the tides and stuff like that and I must say your smile has a definitive affect on me". Luna stopped then got a hold of him then to his astonishment reached up and pulled his tongue out and stared at it.

"Seems like someone else been caught by loony Lovegood" came from several sniggering Ravenclaws.

Harry saw a wince on her face but never said anything he was used to bullies after all he had Tommy boy come after him 3 times now black and then there was Malfoy and his goons well he was a man he could take it but Luna was a girl so she needed to be protected but it was a bit hard to say anything when the person in question was holding your tongue and staring at it. He made a note of who it was and remembered to add them to his personal list. He winked at her but let her carry on. A few moments later she said "all I can see is the word muggle and scope, sorry unless that helps." Harry thought Muggle scope ummm then he smiled it was one them adverts on TV about.

Luna shook herself he seemed nice and he was not making fun of her but she knew it must of looked odd her holding his tongue like that. Yet he hadn't pulled away and he said she had an "Affect on him" she took it as a complement as she hoped that was what it was. She had also grabbed his tongue so he might not notice how much his comment had made her blush.

He stared at her "Luna do you see any and I mean any of these on me?" Luna looked at him and shook her head no you are clean but make sure you don't hang around any mistletoe as they spread from there." Harry smiled "of course they would it is a prime breeding ground for them, well some of them. " Luna looked at him and stared he didn't know it but she was looking at him not he body not the image he showed the world but him. Seemingly satisfied with what she saw she smiled and nodded. "Not many believe you do they? They don't understand so they bully you." He took a deep breath "Luna when is your birthday? As I think I have an idea for a present a sort of prank and a lot of revenge." She looked at him and smiled "Two weeks time yesterday." He nodded "that should give me plenty of time now here is what we shall do. As he pulled her head next to his so he could whisper in her ear he never noticed how red she went. Mind you she never noticed how red he went when he realised how personal this moment seemed.

Two weeks later

Harry stood up in the great hall and started to sing happy birthday to Luna no one seemed to want to join in but after 2 years of the stares and whispers he knew enough to say sod it and them. Then when he had finished, he said in a loud clear voice. "Luna, I said I would not go out with you unless you could prove that them things existed." Several girls snickered from several houses as they knew Luna was a none runner from the beginning for dating Harry Potter as far as nearly all the females were concerned. Harry carried on ignoring the sniggers and waiting for the grand finale. "I give you Luna Lovegood, my Birthday present to you." He held out a parcel for her to take it was about 2ft square and wrapped in a shiny silver gold and red wrapping paper tied of with a bow that opened and closed like a red rose. It took a while for me to get some of the charm work done and that but here it is. Some of the more evil ones thought of all the things he could give her so she get the hint that she was mad and not wanted. Draco thought that with all that nice wrapping when he crushed her it would be truly soul destroying and smirked to himself. Pansy who sat next to him might not have liked either Harry or the Lovegood girl but she hoped he was going to give her something nice. She had heard to many "pug-face Parkinson" comments not to hope Luna got something nice. After all if that nut case could get a nice present then their might be hope for her.. Hermione who had, over time had several arguments with Luna over animals that did not exist smiled to herself. This was another chance to show people how clever she was.

Luna stood up and opened the first present she had ever received for her birthday while she was at Hogwarts.

Her daddy gave her his present before she left as he loved to see her smile when she opened it he was unable to do this while she was at school so they had reached this comprimise. He did make her promise not to wear use or what ever you did with is present until her Birthday as it was hers but not until then. She took out what looked like a pair of omunoculars but they were heavy and had a metal plate in the way. She looked at him confused.

Hermione seeing it shouted out " A Microscope what does she need a microscope for.?" Then spent the next several minutes telling everyone what one was how they worked and anything else she felt they needed to know .

It was amazing she never noticed how many people would either plug their ears or in some cases put a silencing cone around themselves once she got started on one of her rants. Harry waited until she finished then " Well Luna this is what is called an electron microscope with a projector built in." He took a breath as he waited for Hermione to start another rant on how that was impossible but it seemed he had stumped her for once as her mouth was hanging open.

"In the muggle world they are a lot bigger but here with the help of light runes magnification runes and a few others you get a top of the range one of a kind Electron Microscope. Now then it seems as you also get yourself a boyfriend as I have found your creatures and why most if not al can't see them. I also have an explanation for why they hide in or around mistletoe."

He smiled "who has a large Nargle infection?" He smiled as Luna Looked around and pointed to Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy "they seem have a really bad infestation." Harry smiled "Pansy could I have one drop of your blood please and you can watch to make sure I don't do anything bad with it. You can have it back when I have finished so you can destroy it." Pansy was going to say no but she saw a look in Harry's eyes that said it might be a good idea to say yes. She had seen the same look every time he had defeated one of Draco plans. So she just nodded got up and walked over "Headmaster can you dim the light a bit in here please?" Harry smiled as the headmasters twinkle was dimmed in his eyes. He nodded and commentated "Of course Harry, be happy to." Any one who knew the Headmaster would be able to say he wasn't really happy to but saw no way to deny this from happening. He was not pleased with the "Luna gets a new boyfriend " Comment earlier as he had plans for Harry and Weasley .

"Here put one drop of your blood onto this glass plate" he held out a small oblong glass slide. Dumbledore was roused from his musings at this comment. He watched as Pansy Pugface Parkinson pricked her finger and squeezed a bit of blood out. Once the one drop of blood was on the slide that he had asked for she quickly sucked her finger and then cast a simple heal charm on it. She watched as he placed another glass slide on top of the first one and her drop of blood and then got her to place it under two metal bars that held it in place on the Micro thingy. She was glad he was letting her handle her own blood the most as she had a healthy fear of illegal blood magic's. He got Luna to hit the light rune and then he looked through the eyepieces until he could see the blood. He smiled "Now Luna can you show everyone the drawings you have done for me showing Wrackspurts and Nargles and all them things."" Luna smiled went into her bag and pulled out several pieces of plain muggle drawing paper each one with a coloured picture of some fantastic looking animal. With its name next to it. "Hermione could tell you that muggles and wizards use different names for the same thing so could Snape with his aconite example he used in my first potions lesson. So I asked Luna for drawings of the things she was watching or looking out for in case I knew them under different names. It makes the most sense after all, I mean as everyone knows some things even have different names depending on what part of Great Britain you come from. So something that was magical could be called anything in the Muggle world.

Hermione was not liking the way this was going as several of the things he said were like small jabs at her. Like how it was simple that she could be calling something one name and that it was known by another one. She hated to admit she had not thought of that or the fact that Harry said it was a simple idea. She also did not like the idea that Harry had made a Electron Microscope using magic showing some Muggle things did not need electricity to work here just innovation and as she shuddered imagination.

"Now then, hold up the Nargle that lives or hangs around the mistletoe." Luna held up the picture and made sure everyone could see it, by swivelling around with the picture facing front. "Now Pansy would you activate the projector rune for me"he pointed to a rune of power he showed her how to activate it with a small surge from her wand, like the one used for making trunks shrink. A large red blob appear behind the headmaster on the wall. "For you Purebloods and those that have little to do with the muggle world think of this as a shadow puppet, the light in this microscope shines and sends it image at the wall and like a shadow puppet it makes it larger than it was originally. Unlike a shadow puppet this is in colour however." Then he mumbled "Now then lets focus this a bit better and " As they watched they saw the red blob become a large red smear.

"Now then we activate the magnifying runes. Think of this like the zoom option on a pair of ominiculars If that helps." He started. They watched as the red blob changed and they saw what was in the red blob of blood. "As you can see the white stuff is water then you have the red blood cells. Now if we make it even bigger we see."

They sat shocked there before them was a nargles well a whole lot of nargles and they seemed to be fighting something. Hermione was shocked. "As you can see Luna is a Ravenclaw and very observant sort of one as well. She is sort of like a microscope herself but better looking and with a much cuter smile. Also instead of being manufactured she was born with this gift. I personally think she was meant to be a healer. she can see the smallest detail in her surroundings and the real you." He smiled as a few looked very shocked and a certain bushy haired person was opening and closing her mouth like some sort of guppy.

"Now I knew when I saw her pictures I had seen them before and could not remember where. As several Ravenclaws will remember Luna tried to help me remember and she did the clues she told me was enough." He looked at the one that had bullied Luna by calling her Loony. "Now as I said she would make a great healer and sadly that means Pansy you would need her help as I have worked out what each of her creatures are called in the muggle world." He held up a muggle looking leaflet read this please Pansy. " Pansy started to read .

"Oral herpes is an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. The virus causes painful sores on the lips, gums, tongue, roof of the mouth and inside the cheeks. It also can cause symptoms such as fever and muscle aches."

She stopped she had felt them herself and glared at the only boy she had kissed, One Draco Malfoy. She carried on

"The herpes simplex virus only affects humans. Mouth sores most commonly occur in children aged 1-2 years, but they can affect people at any age and any time of the year.

People contract herpes by touching infected saliva, mucous membranes, or skin. Because the virus is highly contagious, most people have been infected by at least one herpes subtype before adulthood.

After you have been infected with the herpes virus, it has a rather unique ability to proceed through three stages:

Primary infection: The virus enters your skin or mucous membrane and reproduces. During this stage, oral sores and other symptoms, such as fever, may develop. The virus may not cause any sores and symptoms. You may not even know that you have it. This is called asymptomatic infection. Asymptomatic infections occur twice as often as the disease with symptoms.

Latency: From the infected site, the virus moves to a mass of nervous tissue in your spine called the dorsal root ganglion. There, the virus reproduces again and becomes inactive.

Recurrence: When you experience certain emotional or physical stresses, the virus may reactivate and cause new sores and symptoms. One such stress may be a viral illness such as the common cold, hence the frequently used name of " cold sores". "She blanched she and a few Slytherin's had a thing about cold sores and now with this information she felt sick. Then carried on. "Incubation period: For oral herpes, the amount of time between contact with the virus and the appearance of symptoms, called the incubation period, is 2-12 days. The average is about four days.

Duration of illness: Signs and symptoms will last two to three weeks. In addition to below symptoms, fever, tiredness, muscle aches and irritability may occur.

Pain, burning, tingling or itching occur at the infection site before the sores appear. Then clusters of blisters erupt. These blisters break down rapidly and, when seen, appear as tiny, shallow, grey ulcers on a red base. A few days later, they become crusted or scabbed and appear drier and more yellow.

Oral sores: The most intense pain caused by these sores is felt when they first appear, and can make eating and drinking difficult. The sores may occur on the lips, the gums, the front of the tongue, the inside of the cheeks, the throat and the roof of the mouth. They may also extend down the chin and neck.

The gums may become mildly swollen and red and may bleed.

Neck lymph nodes often swell up and become painful.

In people in their teens and 20s, herpes may cause a painful throat with shallow ulcers and a greyish coating on the tonsils.

Because the sores are painful, you may have difficulty eating or drinking. To prevent dehydration, speak to your doctor or practice nurse if you find yourself unable to eat or drink.

Ring your surgery immediately if any of these symptoms, which suggest dehydration, occur:

A decrease in urination (or fewer wet nappies in infants)

Drowsiness

Irritability

Dry mouth"

She was furious and looked at Draco. Harry smiled "Now Luna lets see what's next the Wrackspurts that also hang around Mistletoe and make people go silly." He smiled as she saw people blanch and people who had called her Loony looking rather sick as the full realisation hit them. "Point out who has Wrackspurts" Luna again pointed to Draco and a few of the older Slytherin's then she pointed to Dumbledore. Harry Harry smiled to himself at this little revelation then asked Draco for some blood under the same rules as he had for Pansy. He refused right up to the point Pansy punched him in the nose breaking it. Then asking Harry in a calm voice that seemed to have a hint of ice in it if he could pass her a little glass thing for some of this blood. She then went about getting a bit onto the slide Harry had passed her. She did make a show of washing her hands in Draco's drink then wiping them on his clothes. Harry again had to refocus it until he could see the Wrackspurts now everyone Luna had pointed to was worried. "Okay pansy as you Havant got these yet how about you read out what we are looking at". He passed her another leaflet.

She feinted as she read ahead.

Harry smiled as many went very white. He helped Pansy up and gave her some pumpkin juice until she nodded and started to read.

"Neurosyphilis refers to a site of infection involving the central nervous system (CNS). Neurosyphilis may occur at any stage of syphilis. Before the advent of antibiotics, it was typically seen in 25-35% of patients with syphilis.

Neurosyphilis is now most common in patients with HIV infection. Reports of neurosyphilis in HIV-infected persons are similar to cases reported before the HIV pandemic. The precise extent and significance of neurologic involvement in HIV-infected patients with syphilis, reflected by either laboratory or clinical criteria, have not been well characterized. Furthermore, the alteration of host immunosuppression by antiretroviral therapy in recent years has further complicated such characterization." She looked very confused half the words were harder than Latin to say. Harry smiled at her "It means the things that stop you being ill might not be working if you have one of them diseases or if you have it bad enough it will stop the things that protect you from disease from working right" She went whiter even than Draco and wished she was old enough to drink as she really really needed one now. She reached over to the Ravenclaw table and snagged a goblet of pumpkin juice drank it in one go the carried on.

Madam Pomfrey looked and listened in shock it couldn't be, Was it some muggle disease that had made the Headmaster do what could ruin her life and her career as well as her reputation. Was he really suffering from this silliness or what ever it was called and if so then she had better make sure she was covered with Harry Potter if they found out an insane man had told her to keep the abuse she had detected quite and that a muggle device could show them proof then she blanched. Charity Burbage who sat next to her looked horrified. "I thought those diseases were just horror stories that muggles made up. I I I " She threw up. Madam Pomfrey looked at her "No Charity they are real I just never knew all the stuff that muggles had discovered . If I did I could have helped so many people. I just hope the Headmaster and Snape are not to far gone."

"Approximately 35 to 40% of persons with secondary syphilis have asymptomatic central nervous system (CNS) involvement, as demonstrated by any of these on cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) examination:

An abnormal leukocyte cell count, protein level, or glucose level

Demonstrated reactivity to Venereal Disease Research Laboratory (VDRL) antibody test

Commonly called Brain Syphilis, Neurosyphilis dementia is also a psychiatric diagnosis wherein a multitude of atypical anti-psychotic medications are used to help control the patient's irrational behaviors, with limited success. The term is used in traditional classifications of organic disorders of the brain."

She looked at Draco and the Headmaster both who looked feint. Harry smiled to himself. Pansy carried on.

"There are four clinical types of neurosyphilis:

Asymptomatic neurosyphilis

Meningovascular syphilis

General paresis

Tabes dorsalis

The late forms of neurosyphilis (tabes dorsalis and general paresis) are seen much less frequently since the advent of antibiotics. The most common manifestations today are asymptomatic or symptomatic meningitis. Acute syphilitic meningitis usually occurs within the first year of infection; 10% of cases are diagnosed at the time of the secondary rash. Patients present with headache, meningeal irritation, and cranial nerve abnormalities, Argyll Robertson pupil (miotic pupil not reactive to light but reactive to accommodation), especially the optic nerve, facial nerve and the vestibulocochlear nerve. Rarely, it affects the spine instead of the brain, causing focal muscle weakness or sensory loss."

She took the offered Butterbeer and wondered where Luna had stashed it. Not that she cared this was better than Pumpkin juice and drank the bottle dry Luna smiled and put the cap in a little bag with several more caps in. Before continuing Pansy decided she was no longer Draco's Girlfriend and would tell her father of this immediately as soon as she was finished.

Dumbledore was furious this meant that either Tom or Gerhard had cheated on him there was no mention of goats giving humans that disease. How dare they he was there master he told them what to do.

She started up again

"Meningovascular syphilis occurs a few months to 10 years (average, 7 years) after the primary syphilis infection. Meningovascular syphilis can be associated with prodromal symptoms lasting weeks to months before focal deficits are identifiable. Prodromal symptoms include unilateral numbness, paresthesias, upper or lower extremity weakness, headache, vertigo, insomnia, and psychiatric abnormalities such as personality changes."

She thought how nice Draco had been as a child when they were first introduced as a possible marriage contract material and how he was now. There was definite personalty changes there.

"The focal deficits initially are intermittent or progress slowly over a few days. However, it can also present as an infectious arteritis and cause an ischemic stroke, an outcome more commonly seen in younger patients. Angiography may be able to demonstrate areas of narrowing in the blood vessels or total occlusion.

General paresis, otherwise known as general paresis of the insane, is a severe manifestation of neurosyphilis. It is a chronic dementia that ultimately results in death in as little as 2–3 years. In general, patients have progressive personality changes, memory loss and poor judgement."

At this Harry and several others who had been involved in Harry's little miss adventure all looked at Dumbledore.

"In more rare instances, they can have psychosis, depression or mania. Imaging of the brain usually shows atrophy."

She looked at Harry and he smiled "So does those symptoms remind you of anyone say Tom Riddle who later went on to call himself Lord Voldemort or maybe a certain Headmaster who hired Voldemort to teach in my first year here. Or then again how about them Pureblood Deatheater families that make sure the old crazy ones are not heard from again. Then we have all them people in saint Mungo's with some of these symptoms. It seems the muggles have cures but as all you Pureblood's look down on muggles and their medicine then I guess you all die. For those who are friends with my new girlfriend Luna I am sure she can tell you who is infected and who is healthy. Anyway as Breakfast is over and it the weekend me and my new healthy girlfriend are going to go and play with her new toys. Umm toy I didn't mean she was going to play with me." Luna smiled her dreamy normal expression "No boyfriend of mine you were correct, I shall indeed be spending time playing with you. Now less talking and more kissing as we are both Nargle free." They left the hall in a state of pandemonium some had not heard of Dumbledore hiring Voldemort to teach.

Though others had heard of STD and told any who would listen that yes the pamphlets were true and not a prank some bright spark who hated Draco pointed out how terrible it would be if while under the imperious Draco's dad had sex with an infected person before Draco was born as this would mean Draco had it since he was born and could not be cured. He then went on to any who would listen how funny it was that any muggle born would go to a hospital and get tested and checked yet a Pureblood to keep his or her family out the media would prefer to go mad and die a painful agonising death. Draco and several others who Luna had pointed at feinted. Dumbledore might have passed gas but by the way he was walking those that saw him would guess not unless gas was solid.

Pansy nearly had her arms ripped of as Draco made a snatch for the one about Neurosyphilis as soon as he came round. Not that she was worried as she was fleeing the great hall to owl her father. She stopped at the edge of the hall as Luna and Harry shared a kiss then thanked her for her help when they noticed her. They also gave her a pamphlet about penicillin and told her it would become her best friend if she hung around Purebloods for to long. Hermione sat there tears in her eyes Loony had not only been right but she now had Harry as her boyfriend and was being not only proven right but now all them that mocked her were now being made to look like idiots and if Hermione hated one thing it was being made to look like an idiot. Ginny Weasly was cursing Luna as she was promised to Harry, her mother had told her so. It also didn't help that Luna had said she had seen Nargles on Ginny. Ron was depressed and upset he hadn't understood anything other than Dumbledore might be mad and that Harry had a girlfriend already.

Sytherin66 gave me a couple of ideas and gave me a few helpful comments my invisible friends says Crumplehorn Sorkaks are from the wizards who have to much fun with goats and that if Luna looked close she would see Dumbledore had baby Sorkaks sadly he says there is no cure and the males wedding tackle will fall of if not stopped by the expedient method of a meat clever. Well bye for now. Looks strangely at invisible friend..."how do you know what causes Snorkaks?"