Vignettes

Ace Attorney stories in less than one-thousand words with any genre, any pairing, and any case. Requests accepted, and ratings vary. Yes, that's right. Requests accepted. And by anything, I do mean anything, so feel free to ask for ridiculous crap if you want. I'm up for it.

It's A Pro, I Guess.

Word Count: 469

The dinner was traditional among the six Kurain elders. Twice a month they would gather to discuss courses of action for troubles within the village, and though all six had different ways of handling business, a solution somehow always presented itself. Today, however, there was much to contemplate and argue over as news had just reached the village yesterday that Master Maya Fey was engaged to the fraud Phoenix Wright.

"What would she even see in him?" crowed the first elder as she poured tea for the women. "I have seen him nowadays; he looks homeless!"

"Who knows, though?" retorted a second elder. "Mystic Mia obviously saw the good in him, and Pearl thinks he's to die for."

The third chimed, "She does gush about him, doesn't she?"

"Not that her word can be trusted," said the fourth elder with her matter-of-fact tone. "She is the child of Morgan Fey."

The fifth nodded vigorously in agreement. "Exactly! Besides, she's only sixteen and very naïve."

"But she's always calling Wright the 'special someone' of Mystic Maya," the third elder asserted. "There must be some basis for that."

The second frowned. "Maybe he's a great homemaker?"

"He does have a daughter he's raising," the fourth elder reminded the others with a nod.

The first elder, however, shrieked, "A daughter?"

Frightened, the fourth nodded, "I-I thought you knew."

"I think Mystic Maya said she was about Pearl's age," said the fifth elder. "Fifteen or so."

The third paused, then asked the obvious question, "How old is Mr. Wright?"

"Thirty-three," recalled the first elder.

"He would have been..." The fifth calculated. "...eighteen when she was born."

"That's right!" exclaimed the second. "My, that's young."

The fourth reasoned slowly, "And if the girl isn't Mystic Maya's, whose could it be?"

There was a long pause, and the third and fifth elders were the only ones brave enough to speak the first assumption, "...Iris?"

"Oh, dear, I hope not," the second admitted immediately.

The first elder sighed angrily, pounding her fist on the test. "None of this is getting us to our goal! Who cares who the mother is if it is not Mystic Maya? All this talk is just making me dislike him more!"

The fifth, third, and fourth elders all nodded in agreement. The second elder sighed. "Well, let's hear what she has to say," she said, pointing to the sixth elder who had yet to speak. "What do you think of Mr. Wright?"

The sixth and meekest of the elders paused for a moment, then said, "Well... I'll bet he's good at fingering."

No one else spoke for the rest of the dinner.

I like the idea of the Kurain elders being gossips, haha. And yes, this whole story was a lead up to a pun that's been in my head for FAR too long. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.