Lissa sat on the edge of my bed. So many questions were churning within her mind. Burning in her eyes. She was reluctant to ask, though. She was afraid to upset me. I was too busy gathering my own thoughts to assure her. I was working to block out her feelings, but it was useless. My mind was racing too much to exert the energy that was required for my mental wall.

And though I wasn't obstructing her thoughts, I wasn't really paying attention. Therefore, it came as a huge surprise when she asked her next question: "Why are you so eager to help Adrian, when you were totally against saving Dimitri?"

I stopped pacing the space of my room and looked at her. I was completely shocked at the words. She was so bent on not hurting me—or casting me right back into depression—yet, she said the words that angered me most.

Her tone was neither accusing nor damning. She was just simply curious. I knew I was wrong for getting upset, it was the one question that had been scorching her since the moment I told her we were leaving.

"Because, Liss. When it was Dimitri…well the possibility was still a fairy tale. Now that I know that it can happen it makes me much less hesitant," I told her evenly.

As much as Lissa loved Adrian—he was like a brother to her—she still had a weird bond to Dimitri. Not the kind of bond that she and I share, more like a deep connection with him that she can't seem to let go. I guess that's what happens when you bring someone back from the undead.

So, the fact that I was so anxious to steal her from the court and make her save Adrian kind of bothered her. She thought that maybe I loved Adrian more…

"Liss, it's not like that. I don't really think it possible for me to love anyone like I loved Dimitri back then," I sighed. It was still a touchy subject for me. "But even if I did, would that be so bad? Dimitri left me with broken promises and a broken heart. Would it really be that terrible if my feelings for Adrian were more than I ever felt for Dimitri?"

Lissa listened to me vent, staying quiet the whole time.

I continued on about how I deserved to be happy, and how Dimitri was just a giant asshole for prolonging that. I could tell through the bond that she wasn't happy about my harsh words, but I didn't care. She deserved to hear it. She needed to know that it wasn't Dimitri she should have been defending in that situation.

"It's my love life, Lissa. Not yours!" I snapped. "So, why don't you just help me, so you can go back to yours? We all know how perfect it is!" The last statement held so much built up resentment that I did not even realize was there. Lissa looked stunned at my verbal slap and she looked down at her hands.

I realized that my words had contained too much acid and I immediately felt guilty. It wasn't her fault. The shadows were obviously getting the best of me again. "Sorry Liss, that was harsh."

"No, you were right," she said softly. "The first cut is always the deepest, but luckily you had a boyfriend that happened to be a healer."

I flinched at her using past-tense verbs.

"True," I said. "Now we need a plan."

In the midst of all of our preparations for the upcoming adventure, my mind started to wander. I knew he was going to go after Dimitri, but it would probably take him some time to figure out where he was. Hell, I didn't even know where he was. When he left he told me he was going back to Siberia.

But it's been three years. A lot can happen in that time. How did I know he wasn't married? Or maybe he had gotten a new assignment. There were endless possibilities. I knew that even before asking Lissa, but I refused to acknowledge it. Now, it seemed kind of essential. If only we had some way to contact—

"Lissa, Adrian taught you to dream walk, right?" I asked, hopefully.

Lissa regarded me warily. "Yeah, why…?"

She thought I was going to ask her to try to reach Adrian. Did she think I was losing my mind? I knew better than anyone that Strigoi were incapable of sleep. Dimitri had reminded me several times when he was one of them. He always told me that if he could dream, it would be about me. I ignored the sharp pain that shot through me with that memory.

"I need you…to go to Dimitri," I explained.

She clearly was not expecting that. Her jaw dropped. Through the bond I felt a jumble of reactions. No, I can't. But I have to. But I just can't. Why would she need that? I can't! Oh god, this is crazy. But I have to!

"I can't," she finally decided.

"Why?" I argued.

"Because I haven't seen him in years, even if I wanted to it would be sort of difficult to even get a grasp on him. Plus, who knows when that guy sleeps?"

"But you don't want to?"

Her face turned red. She was hoping that I wouldn't catch that. "It's not that I don't want to…"

"But?"

"It would just be weird."

"That's the risk you're going to have to take," I demanded flatly. I knew she would do it.

She was quiet for what seemed to be hours, but really was only about a minute. "Fine," she finally said. "But there's no guarantees that I'll be able to get to reach him."

She shut her eyes and I felt the warming sensation that accompanied the magic. When she didn't return shortly after, I knew she was in.

A few minutes had passed and I was getting anxious. What the hell was happening? It was killing me. So, I did what I usually did when I was curious about Lissa. Really hoping that it would work, I entered her mind.

As it happens, it did work. I was immediately able to feel and see everything that she did.

"I told you not to come back," Dimitri told her. His voice was cold, but his portrayed no emotions. He was holding up the guardian mask that he had perfected long before he met me.

Wait, what? Come back? Had she visited his dreams before? She lied to me. What the fuck?

"I'm the queen," she reminded him politely, though I could sense the edge in her voice.

He sighed. "Fine. Why are you here, then?" His face was still blank, but his tone had slightly lightened.

"I'm here for Rose…" Her boldness had turned cowardly and the words came out as a mere whisper.

"What?" He asked slowly. His perfect mask was slowly fading and I could see the fury in his eyes. His lips curled back into a sneer.

Lissa was flushed with shame. She felt so bad for doing this to him. What was this?

"Queen Dragomir," He spoke slowly, trying to keep his voice even. It was funny, after all this time, I could still read Dimitri like a book. "Can you please let me go back to my happy dreams?"

As bad as Lissa felt, she knew that she needed to do this. The fact that he was being kind of rude helped her to stand her ground and keep her foot down. "No," she said defiantly. "Tell me where you are."

"No," barked Dimitri.

Lissa met his eyes levelly, and in a steady voice ordered him once more. "Tell me where you are."

I felt the warmth flow and knew she was compelling him. I didn't know compulsion could be used in dreams. But I did know that in spirit dreams, every action felt real. Me and Adrian had shared many kisses in dreams and I knew that it could easily be mistaken for reality. So why wouldn't compulsion work?

Dimitri had a very high resistant for compulsion, so he didn't break. "That's not going to work," he growled.

Lissa cranked it up to a dangerous level. One that was going to leave her with all sorts of darkness. And then that would transfer to me. Oh great. "Dimitri, tell me where you are staying."

He continued staring at her for several moments, clearly trying to fight the magic. Eventually, his eyes glazed over—which surprised me. I had never seen Dimitri compelled.

"Russia," he told her. So he was still there.

"Where in Siberia?" Lissa pushed.

"Baia."

"With who?"

"My family."

"For how long?"

He paused. "I don't know."

"Will you be there for the next week?" Oh God, Liss. She was holding the power over him for too long. She was exerting an incredible amount of force, and it was not safe!

"Yes." Lissa seemed satisfied. She gave him a wide grin. "Thank you, Guardian Belikov. Sweet dreams!"

She brought herself out of the dream, and I snapped myself out of her head. I fixed her with a glare. "Lissa, what the hell aren't you telling me?" I immediately demanded.

"What do you mean?" She asked, but she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Don't give me that shit! I was in your head."

"Rose, really? You couldn't just wait a few minutes?" She sounded skeptical.

"No."

She didn't say anything, but I didn't tear my gaze away from her. She was going to give me some damn answers!

Lissa took a nice deep breath and then fixed me with an apologetic look glinting in her eyes. "Okay, well it was about a year after…you know. Adrian had just taught me how to dream walk. Rose, please forgive me! I could see that you were still upset, so I decided to have a few words with Dimitri."

Honestly, I was finding that being mad at Lissa was not working at that moment. More than anything, I was proud of her. I loved when she took matters into her own hands. I felt a grin spreading over my face. "What kind of words?" I asked excitedly, hoping that she would tell me she cussed him out or something like that.

She shrugged. "I don't know, I just demanded some answers."

My alarm spiked. "Did you compel him?" I asked her. I had witnessed the amount of magic she had just used and it was nowhere near healthy. It was the kind that could take Lissa into crazy territory. But she didn't even seem fazed. Maybe it was because she had used it inside of a dream.

"Nope," she told me. "I just asked him what his problem was. Stuff like that. When things got too personal he got angry and told me to get out of his dreams and never return. I don't hold it against him, though."

I wished that I could be as forgiving and compassionate as Lissa. That was one of the many wonderful things about her. Honestly, if she didn't have those qualities, I'm pretty sure I would have been dumped on my ass in middle school.

"What were the personal things?" I asked, suddenly registering what she had said.

"Rose I don't think—"

"I can handle it."

"Well, I asked him about, you know, relationships." She looked too nervous for this to end well.

"And?" I prompted.

"At the time he was involved in something serious. When he told me that I kind of overreacted and that was why he got upset with me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Overreacted how?" I admit, I was amused and trying to block out the rest of that statement.

She could see it. "I don't know," she waved her hands around. "I just told him that she was probably nothing compared to you. I told him that what he had done was stupid and that he made a mistake. I told him" she paused and she looked a little embarrassed. "that she was probably just some bitch he was using to get over you."

My jaw dropped and a laugh escaped. "You go, Liss! What did he say?"

Her face turned a deep shade of red. "He told me that I was being ridiculous and that I needed to accept the fact you were…a fling. Something he moved on from quickly."

All the humor drained from my face. "That's all I was?" I whispered.

"Rose, no!" Lissa was wrapping her arms around me. "He just said that because he was upset. He didn't mean that."

"No, Liss. I saw the look he gave you in that dream. I'm nothing but an annoying memory." The sad part was, I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. "Going to Russia to save him is a stupid idea! Maybe we should let Adrian finish him off and then we turn him back into a Moroi." I could feel the sobs ripping through my chest.

"You don't mean that," she stated firmly.

"I know. When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow. Get some sleep, Rose." She gave me one last squeeze and then released her arms. I was pretty sure I was asleep before Lissa even shut the door behind her.

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