Penname: SparkleMadness

Chosen Face: Musiciansper

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Twilight.

Rating: T

A/N: A thousand thanks to the Cono for taking time to Beta my story :)

The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most

Lyrics provided by 100 Monkeys and Dashboard Confessional.

Jasper

The birds chirped so damn loud and I struggled to keep the noise from fully awaking me from my deep slumber. The sound of light footsteps moving throughout my bedroom was the first thing I was fully conscious of, no doubt the girl I had met at the bar last night. I kept my eyes shut, fearing that if I were to open them, she might change her mind and instead of a hasty escape, decide to stay and chat.

It was always the same incessant chatter that they all felt was relevant; talk of exams, sororities and how the stress was overwhelming. Trying not to be rude, I would appear to at least be interested, just in case she decided to go for round two. Today, however, I just wasn't in the mood for anything other than getting a few more minutes of sleep, and pulling some crap from the fridge to eat. Food that most would consider garbage.

I heard the door slam and I felt a sigh of relief.

"Thanks for the lovely time, sweetie," I muttered aloud to myself.

I opened one eye at a time, peering into the room in case she was trying to wake me with a false exit. Once I found that the coast was clear, I heard Edward whistling in the kitchen, righteous bastard that he was; who the hell whistles at 8 o'clock in the morning.

I had slept a total of two hours and I was ready to bite someone's head off. I knew taking a second job was gonna kill me eventually. I rummaged through some clothes on the floor and found a few that could pass for clean, until I got around to doing laundry. Great, another thing I had to do.

I opened the door and saw Edward standing in the kitchen in his birthday suit, frying up some eggs.

"Ed, you ever hear of this thing called boundaries?" I asked, disgust clear in my voice. I had seen that guy's package way too many times.

"Oh, don't act so prudish, Jazzy. Liv is in the shower and I thought I'd surprise her with some bacon and eggs," he paused to cock an eyebrow at me. "Would you care for some?" He asked politely.

Edward and his current fuck buddy were an unusual couple, to say the least. Who knew a nerdy accountant had a thing for metrosexual bartenders.

Edward and I tended bar together and the local college spot, "Lights Out". Being behind that bar was like crack to these college girls. They couldn't get enough of Edward and I. Then, of course, there was the usual passing through type of girls who were drowning their man troubles in a bottle of vodka, and for some reason, Eddie ate that shit right up. Case and point, dear ol' Liv; dumped on her birthday. Of course, dear ol' Ed was there to pick up the pieces, as usual.

"As much as I love bacon and eggs, the sight of your twig and berries has somehow made me lose my appetite." I responded. I cringed as the oil began popping everywhere, dude was brave.

"I guess I'll see you tonight, caught a few shifts with the construction crew. Enjoy your breakfast" I remarked jokingly as I grabbed an apple from the table, along with my keys and headed out for another thrilling day.

I drove down Empire Street, and saw all the eager students with their books and latte's. Must be nice to have daddy pay for everything and not worry about a damn thing. I had been accepted to that uptight, overpriced institution, along with a full scholarship, but the polo's and pompous professors had rid me of any desire to continue. I was glad to be out of there and my life wasn't that bad. Sure, I lived in a shitty two bedroom near the edge of town, but hey, I wasn't homeless.

I peered into my rear view mirror and I saw her; she was touching up her lipstick and tossing her hair into a quick ponytail. I hadn't talked to her before, but she had been at the bar a couple of times. From what I had gathered, her name was Bella.

Sitting in her Porsche, she looked as beautiful as the first night I'd seen her. Different from all the other girls that passed through the bar. Before I could linger in the moment any longer, she turned and held her horn down, knocking me out of my reverie. Yeah, there was a reason I had never talked to her; rich bitch with money to burn.

It must be hard to walk through the halls of school with such a big chip on your shoulder.

I hit the gas and concentrated on getting to work; I needed the money to get out of this shit town. Maybe I'd go to LA, try and make something of myself, something other than bartender or good one time fuck partner.

I sped up and headed toward a day of cheap labor and sweaty armpits.

Bella

I knew the moment I peered over my dashboard and saw that shitty looking truck, that it was that creepy bartender from "Lights Out". He was always staring at me as if he was a lost puppy, looking for his owner. I had to admit, he wasn't bad on the eyes, but I could never imagine myself with someone like him. My friends would practically disown me if I even entertained the idea of dating someone without a trust fund and country club membership.

I tried to distract myself by fixing my lipstick and hair but I could see his eyes locked on my every move, distracting me, annoying me. "God please," I thought, "let the light change."

After a few seconds, the lights turned green, my prayers answered, but his truck didn't move. Annoyed beyond belief, I pressed my palm down on my horn as hard as I could, startling him into action. I chuckled, watching his truck shoot forward, speeding off. Shrugging, I tried to shake the whole thing off and drove into campus. I needed some coffee and I needed it five minutes ago.

I saw Rosalie and Charlotte, my two annoying friends, walking toward the student cafe as I drove into the parking lot. I honestly didn't know why I was friends with these girls; they were so shallow and small minded. If our families weren't such old friends, I would tell them to shove it and never speak to them again.

Being an only child to rich parents had its downside; all my parents' hopes and dreams were shoved on to me, weighing heavily on my shoulders. Failure wasn't an option, and neither was having any say so in my own future or any decisions leading up to it.

I pulled my car into a parking spot and shut the engine off. I let out a deep sigh and sat there for a moment, pondering if it was too late to make this a sick day. I didn't have to think about it too hard, obviously, as I heard my cell phone vibrate in my bag. I didn't even have to look at it to know who it was; Rosalie, wondering where I was. I grabbed my bag and pulled out my phone, not at all surprised to see that I already had multiple missed texts from Rosalie.

Bella, where are you? - R

Bella, hurry up, I've got a psych class in 20 minutes and I need our chat time. -R

Ugh, I'll see you around noon - R

Not bothering to respond, I grabbed my books and purse and headed toward my fist class. Rosalie's narcissist ass could wait till later. Charlotte was a polished ass kisser; she had it covered.

Jasper

I could hardly move my legs as I headed to my truck after a hard day's work. Picking up lumber and pounding nail after nail wasn't exactly my ideal job. It felt like my brain was ready to explode. But, naturally, the torture wasn't finished just yet. I grabbed my tool box and headed to my truck, praying to God that I'd make it home. I put the car in drive and headed back to my shit hole of an apartment.

I drove by the campus again and for some reason that I can't explain, I found myself looking for her in the crowd of faces. Her big brown eyes and perfect lips, it was as if when she was looking at me, she could see right into my soul. I had never had such a strong attraction to someone before, but she was a rich bitch, someone who obviously didn't go for the whole man-whore, bartender type.

I didn't see her anywhere and I found myself disappointed. Another day another dollar. I needed a fuckin' nap if I was going to make it through another night of drunken frat boys and chatty sorority girls.

I managed to stumble up the stairs and place my key into the lock. However, I was not at all prepared for the sight of Edward having a little one on one time with Liv's beaver.

"Ed, what the fuck! You have a room, take that shit behind closed doors." I snapped as I threw my keys at his head.

Liv shrieked, her face bright red as she turned and caught a glimpse of me. She jumped into action, running like lightening into his bedroom, slamming the door.

"Jazzy, dude," Edward mocked pouted. "I'm sorry, we were just getting some strawberries to set the mood and we got inspired. You know when the moment hits, you can't fight it," he shrugged. He walked toward me, putting his hand on my shoulder, patting me as if it comfort me, the douche that he was.

"Please Ed, keep your hands off me." I said, exasperated. "I'm going to take a nap and when I wake up, you better have some sort of clothing on and this couch better be thoroughly disinfected."

If he wasn't one of my closest friends, I'd murder his ass without any hesitation.

I went into my room and slammed the door, knocking my guitar down in the process, cringing as it crashed to the floor. I tossed my phone onto the nightstand and saw that the light was flashing. Peter, the other bartender, a flakey one at that, no doubt calling in sick on account of another random ailment, the lazy fucker.

I'm going to be an hour late tonight. Got some stuff to do; you know how it is, bro. -Pete

sure, "late". That's how it always starts.

I wouldn't be surprised to find another text saying how he tried to finish up but he just couldn't do it.

"sorry :("

Like that sad face made up for the fact that Edward and I would be slammed tonight. Whatever, I couldn't think with my head still pounding. I kicked off my shoes, flopped onto my bed and fell into a deep, coma-like sleep, even though I knew it wouldn't last very long.

Bella

I met Rosalie and Charlotte for lunch at our usual spot at a small dine, Heidi's Café, which was just a few blocks from school. They had the best burgers and all the cute frat boys went there as well. If it weren't for these two things, Rosalie wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that. She wouldn't go to any place that didn't offer a valet service or have a five star rating. I wasn't sure if she had ever even been inside a McDonald's, or any other fast food place, to be honest.

"So Bella, what do you say we hit 'Lights Out' tonight? It's open mic night and it's sure to be pure comedy." She laughed. "These sad little people wouldn't know talent if it slapped them in the face."

She was always in the mood to laugh at those she deemed beneath her. Never mind the fact that she was tone deaf and her singing voice was similar to that of a screeching cat.

I sighed. "I don't know… that one bartender is always staring at me. I think his name is Jasper or something. Well, you know, the blond one. I just don't feel like being on display tonight."

"Bella, please, don't be such a Debbie Downer. It'll be fun. If it blows, then, we'll leave. Let's at least go check it out." She demanded, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Yeah, come on Bella," Char chimed in. "If it's not fun, we'll leave. We're in college, we're supposed to be having the time of our lives, not sitting at home reading a book"

I didn't know when exactly Charlotte had lost any real thoughts of her own, but it was highly disappointing, and incredibly pathetic.

"Fine, I guess we can just go and check it out." I grumbled. I knew if I didn't agree to it, Rosalie would have a bitch fit and I didn't have time for her over-dramatic theatrics.

I heard the bell on the door chime, alerting us that someone had just left or someone new had just entered. I didn't bother looking to see who it was. One look at the shift in Rosalie's demeanor was enough to clue me in as to who it was. Emmett, her dream guy. Star quarter back, head of his fraternity, and worth more money than God himself. Rosalie was salivating at the chance to hope into bed with him. Of course, there was always a drawback to seeing Emmett. He always brought along his equally annoying best friend and frat brother, James. I wished someone would to tell them that the preppy douche look went out in 1985.

"Hello, ladies." Emmett said as he ran his fingers through his hair, attempting to look sexy. "I trust you girls are having a nice lunch. Rosalie, looking sexy as ever. Bella, Charlotte, nice to see you again." He said with a devilish smirk.

I didn't bother with a response, didn't see the point. I could see Charlotte staring at James, though. I had it on good authority that those two were having a little love affair on a nightly basis.

"Emmett, what a surprise to see you here." Rosalie squeaked "We're all hitting 'Lights Out' tonight, you should come by. We can have a drink. Who knows what the rest of the night may bring." It wasn't hard to miss the low, seductive drawl to her voice.

I rolled my eyes.

He guffawed, startling me. "Well, since you put it that way, it's an offer I can't refuse," he winked.

They stared at each other while the rest of us watched them in an uncomfortable silence.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to break their trance.

"Emmett, it was good to see you again." I lied. "We'll see you later on then." I said, dismissing him, irritated at the fact that he was still lingering in my personal space.

"Rosalie, as always, a pleasure." He took Rosalie's hand and planted a sloppy kiss on top of it.

I wrinkled my nose at the display.

"Okay, I'm gonna go, too. I'll see you all tonight." I said quickly. I didn't wait for them to reply, taking their silence as an agreement.

I grabbed my things and headed to my car, trying not to think about tonight. Why did I get myself into these situations? Drinking with Emmett? I'd rather have hot coals shoved up my ass. Not to mention the fact that whenever Rosalie was trying to gain the attention of any male, she all but ditched her so called friends.

I fully intended on getting drunk and numbing myself to my surroundings tonight; anything to forget where I was and I who was with. It was Friday after all; I'd have the whole weekend to recover.

Suddenly, unbidden, an image of Jasper's face appeared in my head. I could feel my heart speeding up, my pulse racing.

Jasper

"Jazzy." I could heard Edwards voice and something poking me in my back. Please God, let it be his finger.

I rubbed my eyes, afraid to open them. When I couldn't put it off any longer, I cracked first one eye open, then the other. Edward was standing before me in a fish net tank top and black jeans.

I blinked at the fucker before me. I shook my head, there were no words.

"Rise and shine, buddy. We gotta be at the bar in an hour and I'm sorry to say this, but you stink." He wrinkled his nose in disgust to emphasize his point.

"Yeah, yeah, give me a minute." I replied.

I was exhausted and I still hadn't finished rehearsing for tonight. It was our very first open mic night and I had stupidly volunteered to be one of the featured acts.

"Do you think you could find time to clean this pig sty of a room?" He remarked as he left the room, tossing a shirt my way as he closed the door.

I looked at my guitar sprawled on the floor, contemplating, as an image of her face flashed before my eyes. I shook my head and looked at my notebook with a few lyrics scrawled on it.

Says if she goes then she'll go smiling
and of course, she'll leave a beautiful corpse.

I headed to the shower and tried to prepare myself for another hard night of work and my first performance.

. . . . .

As predicted, Peter hadn't bothered to show up and we were busier than ever. There was a lot of buzz surrounding our open mic night and the college kids were eager for the entertainment.

I caught a glimpse of her sitting with her friends, laughing away, enjoying drink after drink.

What I wouldn't give to be able to just sit there and relax, have a drink without worrying about who needed what. Not wanting to get caught staring at her, I tried my best to keep busy. She probably thought I was some creeper with all the staring I was doing.

I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard a familiar voice beside me, and snapping fingers in front of my face.

"Jasper! Get your head out of the clouds and come back down to reality. I've seen you staring at that girl all night, forget it, buddy, you don't stand a chance." She sang.

Alice was my cousin and friend, not to mention a pain in my ass. We had been inseparable since birth she was exactly two days older than me and somehow or another we had always seemed to stick together.

"Yeah, yeah. Do me a favor, Alice, keep your opinions to yourself. Oh, and get your ass back to work" I replied sternly but could feel myself cracking a smile.

Alice flipped me the bird and a fake smile as she grabbed a tray of drinks and headed back out to deliver her orders.

I saw Edward flirting with some blond college bimbos, as usual. He got the most tips out of anyone and this was a prime example as to why. I saw our other waitress, Jessica get up on stage. She was more nervous than I was and she only had to introduce people.

"Attention, attention," she shouted into the mic. "Welcome to 'Lights Out's' very first open mic night!"

There was a low clap throughout the room but she continued on, hands shaking and her voice trembling.

I threw my rag behind the counter and headed backstage. I felt a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach and my palms were sweating. I grabbed my guitar and strummed a few chords, trying to get myself into the zone. I could hear Jessica stammering as she talked about tonight's line up. I peeked from behind the curtain and I saw her sitting there, obviously bored to death. I took a deep breath in and waited for my cue.

"And now, for our first act is one of our very own bartenders, Jasper Whitlock!" Jessica chirped into the mic.

I took my spot on the stage as the curtain rose up to reveal a multitude of faces starting directly at me.

"Hello. Uhh… I'm Jasper and this song is called Ugly Girl." I grabbed my pick and began playing, tuning out anything that would distract from the moment.

She was young
But she liked to act younger than she was
She was dumb
But she liked to act more dumb than she was
For such a young, dumb impetuous thing
Says if she goes then she'll go smiling
And of course, she'll leave a beautiful corpse

The problem with you is the problem with this world
It's an ugly world and you're, you're an ugly girl

I stared directly at her, singing from within. It was a song about her and if she could only see how her world wasn't worth the time or effort, then maybe she'd see that I was someone worth taking a chance on. I strummed the final chords as the last words passed through my lips.

It's an ugly world and you're an ugly girl.

I heard the applause fill the room and saw her whispering to her friends, staring at me with what could only be an uncomfortable awareness as she realized the song was directed at her.

As the curtain fell, I exhaled a sigh of relief. Maybe, just maybe I could make something outta myself as a legit musician.

I put my guitar in my locker and straightened myself up as I headed back behind the bar, cat calls and compliments following in my wake.

I was feeling like everything just might turn around. I looked up and I saw her stomping towards the bar. I could see the anger written across her face. Okay, maybe she wasn't as impressed as I thought she'd be.

"You think you're so clever don't you. Did you think I wouldn't figure out who you were talking about in your song? You're so called 'ugly girl'? " She snapped angrily.

She looked so cute angry, I couldn't help but smirk. I could tell that this only succeeded in fueling her animosity.

I casually observed her, arching an eyebrow. "Excuse me, do we know each other? I have no idea what you're talking about" I replied, playing dumb in order to get her to properly introduce herself.

"Fine." She snapped. "You wanna play dumb, we can do this all night. My name is Bella Swan, and you are?"

"Nice to meet ya Bella, I'm Jasper Whitlock, as I'm sure you already know by now. Can I get you a drink?" I asked politely.

She nodded almost gratefully. So, I poured her a shot of tequila and placed it in front of her.

"Yeah, yeah, now listen here Jasper, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't write anymore songs directed at me. I don't know what you think you're implying with those lyrics, but you've got it all wrong." She responded indignantly.

I watched as her friends, who were sitting at a few tables behind us throw some money onto the table and head toward the door. Were they ditching her? Wow, what a great group of friends. I decided it wasn't my place to say anything. This was the perfect opportunity to get to know her without the interference of her usual posse.

"Again , I have no idea what you're talking about, but, if you thought that somehow those lyrics were directed at you, well, I'm sorry that's all you. Are you feeling like an ugly girl?" I asked.

I could see her beginning to turn red. I was holding back my laughter; she was even more entertaining than I had thought.

"You know what, this conversation is over." She shouted as she swallowed her shot and slammed her glass on the bar.

She turned and headed toward her table. I watched her stop in mid-step as she became aware that her friends were no longer at the table. She searched the room and pushed through the patrons, calling out her friends names. I chuckled as she stumbled through the crowd, she had obviously had one too many drinks. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and started dialing furiously, only to hang up, stomp her foot in frustration, and then repeat. She turned and caught me smirking, enjoying her antics.

She stumbled her way back over to me, clearly outraged.

"You saw them leave didn't you? You jerk! Do you get some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing someone get ditched by their friends?" She yelled as she threw some of the peanuts that were sitting in a bowl on top of the bar toward my face.

I dodged them, it wasn't hard to do as she had horrible aim.

"I'm not your keeper," I pointed out. "How was I supposed to know they were leaving? Maybe they were going out for a smoke, who knows. Don't blame their shitty behavior on me."

"Great, I left my bag in Rosalie's car. How the hell am I supposed to get home?" She said irritably.

"Well, if you wanna stick around for a bit, I'll give you a ride after we close up." I assured.

She raised her eyebrow and looked at me as if I had just asked for a blowjob behind the bar. I was hoping she'd take the bait and we could have chance to talk, get to know each other.

She regarded me suspiciously. "You're not gonna murder me or anything are you?" She asked.

I laughed. "You're not worth a lifetime sentence or the gas chamber. Do you want a ride or not?"

"Fine, fine. Can you at least buy me a drink to help pass the time in this hellhole."

"Sure thing, doll face." I poured her a gin and tonic and headed toward the end of the bar where Edward was telling his group of ladies about his most recent sexual escapades.

"Ed, come here, I need to talk to you." I whispered loudly. He turned and excused himself from his current company.

"Jazzy, what is it? Is it burning when you pee again?"

"Ed, come on, that was one time and you said you wouldn't mention it again. Listen, after last call do you think you, Jessica and Alice could close up on your own? I have to do something important. You know I wouldn't ask otherwise."

He sighed. "On one condition, Jazzy, you clean the whole apartment top to bottom for a whole month." He replied with a grin.

"Fine. Oh, by the way, last call is in 20 minutes. Thanks Ed, I owe you man." I said.

I couldn't wait to be alone with Bella, to discover the secrets lying behind those big, beautiful brown eyes.

Bella

I took a seat in the corner and rested my head against the wall. I watched Jasper as he took order after order, moving so quickly as if making each drink was second nature.

How the hell did I end up stuck at this bar waiting for him to give me a ride home. Maybe it was fate. I didn't know. All I knew was that my head was swirling. I heard them announce last call, praying that meant he could take me home now.

I continued watching him as he counted his money and scribbled down something on his little notebook. His piercing blue eyes met mine and I felt another flutter in my heart. I looked away quickly, hoping he wouldn't notice I had been staring at him. He chatted with the other bartender who I had always suspected was gay, but the gossip on campus was that he was quite the stallion in bed; quite the enigma if you asked me. He grabbed his guitar and keys and waved me over toward him.

"Ready to go?" He said softly. My gaze was drawn to his lips, so inviting. I imagined what it would be like to kiss him.

He stood there waiting for a response from me.

"Oh…um, yeah let's get this show on the road."

We walked toward his car in silence. I was half expecting him to hit me over the head and dismember me, but he opened the passenger door instead, and walked around to get in on his side. His truck wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be.

He paused for a moment before starting the engine. The awkward silence was lingering as we both sat there, waiting for the other to speak the first word.

"So, are we gonna go?" I managed to stammer out, my heart was beating so fast I thought it might beat right out of my chest.

"Bella, why do you hang out with those rich bitches? I can tell that you are better than that. It isn't hard to tell that they aren't exactly the company you'd prefer to keep." He paused, scratching the back of his neck. "Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush; I like you."

I wasn't sure what to say. I knew I felt something for him but I wasn't sure what it was or if I was even ready to go down that road. I looked over at him and noticed him staring intently at me. Not the me that I pretended to be for everyone else, but the person behind the mask, the mask that I had put on long ago, the Bella who wanted to be something more than what was just expected of her.

"I like you too. I knew from the first time I saw you that there was something that there. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was there nonetheless. I'm just scared. My family, they won't understand, they don't care about love or happiness; they care about money and status. Jasper, please, let's not start something that can only end in heartache" I pleaded.

"Who says it has to end that way, your parents , and your friends? Do you think any of that will matter in the long run, don't let this fear run your life. You're better than that" he responded imploringly.

He placed his hand over mine, his touch sending a shot of awareness throughout my body. I turned to look at him, neither of us saying anything. He placed his hands around my face and pulled it toward his, placing his soft lips upon mine. Our tongues searched feverishly for each other, desperate for contact. I slid closer to him, our kiss becoming more heated, more intense. I could feel his hands slide down my body, slowly, and settle on the small of my back as he pulled me closer to him.

He reached for the bottom of my shirt, pausing briefly from our passionate lip lock to pull it over my head, and then proceeded to remove his. His bare chest and chiseled abs sent a shot of heat racing through my veins. I was never one for rough, passionate sex, but I wanted him, on top of me, under me, all over me, anywhere he wanted to be.

I grabbed his grabbed his face, molding my lips to his, hoping on top of him as he moved his hands toward my ass. I pushed him down on the front seat, planting tiny kisses along his chest. I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, eager to discover what lay beneath his snug jeans.
He lay there with a lazy grin, both of us panting loudly. I placed my hand over his denim clad erection, moving to place my hand inside his jeans to grasp his monster cock, but sadly, a loud bang sounded on the car door window. Both of us jumped and turned to see Rosalie standing outside the car, hands on her hips. There was a look of utter shock on her face. She was pissed and if he look was anything to go by, I would never hear the end of it.

Fuck!

What was I thinking?

I grabbed my shirt and threw his toward him, watching as he righted himself and zipped his pants.

I was mortified.

"This was a mistake, a huge mistake" I mumbled as I hoped out of the car.

I heard him say my name but I slammed the door before I could hear anything else.

"Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing? Have you gone completely mad? He's a bartender, a bartender, a low life and you were about to sleep with him? If your parents find out about this, you can kiss that trust fund and your college education goodbye," she shouted. She looked at me as though I had run over her dog or smothered a baby kitten.

"Rosalie, just shut the fuck up! Can you please just take me home, it's your fault I'm in this mess to begin with; ditching me was a real classy move." I snapped angrily.

" Charlotte was sick so I took her home, obviously I came back to get you. Don't try to blame your irresponsible behavior on me. " She said harshly.

I heard Jasper get out of the car but I wasn't in the mood to hear any of what he had to say, I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.

"Bella, can we talk please? Don't let this bitch treat you that way, stand up to her."

I could see Rosalie tense up, ready to blow up at him at any moment.

"I don't wanna talk Jasper. I told you how this would end. Let's just forget about it. Rosalie, lets go, now. " I said harshly.

We hopped in her BMW and sped off. I could see Jasper in my rear view mirror, screaming and kicking an empty trashcan near his truck. I felt an overwhelming sense of loss rush through me and wanted to burst out in tears. But, I wouldn't give Rosalie the satisfaction of seeing me cry, seeing me vulnerable. We drove home in silence but I could feel her anger and disappointment in every sound she made. What was I thinking? I traced my finger over my lips, remembering what his felt like against mine. I shook my head, mentally scolded myself. Bella it won't work, you're from two different worlds. Forget about it, and forget about him. I closed my eyes and tried to rid my body of any feelings I had for him, reminding myself that it was better that way.

Jasper

I hadn't seen or heard from Bella in over a week. I had managed to convince her reasonable friend Charlotte to give me her number. She wasn't as wretched as Rosalie and saw reason in my wanting to talk to Bella. She had answered once only to tell me in short, to leave her alone, then proceeded to ignore every call afterward. I threw my lamp across the room. If that Rosalie bitch wouldn't have shown up then none of this would be happening. Bella and I would be together, figuring out what she and I could become; more than just a rich girl and a lowly bartender. But now it had all turned to shit and I couldn't help but feel like fate was having a laugh at my expense. Just when I think things are getting better, I get dealt another shitty hand to put me back in my place.

I heard the door crack open and a white tissue waving toward me; Edward and his antics were never in short supply.

"I come in peace, Jazzy," he said jokingly.

I motioned for him to come in, sure he came in peace but did he really have to walk around the apartment in his tighty whities. Now I understood why people sometimes thought he was gay.

"What is it Ed, I'm not really in the mood for chit chat." I pointed out.

"I'm worried about you, Jazzy, you have been like a zombie this past week. I know you think Bella is the one, but you don't even really know her."

"But I do Ed, it's like I've known her my whole life and I won't give that up. Why don't you go play with Liv, I don't need this shit right now." I snapped.

He sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. He did have a point, I didn't really know her but that was for me to deal with and I wasn't ready to go down that road. I had lived my life feeling as though I was lost in a world I couldn't connect with, but with Bella, everything had begun to make sense.

"Jazzy, I don't know if this is any help, but I heard from a few college kids that she goes to this diner, Heidi's, for lunch most days. Around noon."

I immediately checked my watch but I saw that it was too late.

He regarded me warily. "I hope that maybe tomorrow you can see her and get the closure you need."

He left the room and sat there in silence, I felt my heart aching for someone I would never have. I opened them after a moment and saw my notebook lying there and I was suddenly hit with inspiration, maybe this is what Bella needs to hear. I scribbled each line with purpose intent on making her see the truth.

I had finished a new song and had been rehearsing it endlessly. It had to be perfect for when Bella came to the show, if she came that is. I walked toward the diner and I could feel that familiar gnawing in the pit of my stomach. I looked in the window and I saw her sitting there , beautiful as ever. I saw Charlotte but no Rosalie and I took it as a sign that today was the perfect day. I walked in and headed toward her , Charlotte looked up at me but Bella was lost in one of her books. So, I cleared my throat to get her attention. She stared up at me and I could see the irritation in her face.

"Jasper, I asked you to leave me alone. Why is that so hard for you to understand that," she remarked irritably.

"I think I'll go to the ladies room. " Charlotte said nervously. She grabbed her things and retreated quickly toward the bathroom.

"Bella, please, I'm trying here. I know what happened that night wasn't exactly what I'd call a success, but you can't let one bump in the road make or break you." I said.

"Jasper, I know you think it's all cut clearly, black and white, but it's not that simple. I have responsibilities, my family, my friends; I can't just take off with you on a whim. I'm sorry, but this fantasy you have is just that, a fantasy." She slammed her book closed and started to gather up her things.

"You're wrong Bella, you don't know how wrong you are. Just do me this one favor before you cut me out of your life for good, come to the bar tonight. It's open mic night again and I need you to be there. Please, just do this one thing for me and I'll never bother you again." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, the answer is no," she said. She grabbed her things and stormed out, followed by Charlotte a few minutes later. I stood there in shock, hoping that maybe, just maybe her anger would subside and she'd show up tonight anyway.

. . . . .

I was standing on the stage, behind the curtain, going over the words in my head, making sure I had them just right. I didn't bother peeking behind the curtain to look for her, I knew if she wouldn't be there. I heard Jessica stammering through her opening again and I picked up my guitar and strummed a few chords to make sure it was in tune.

"And now, returning for the second time, our very own, Jasper Whitlock," she shouted with more enthusiasm than was entirely fucking necessary.

"Evening ya'll," I greeted." This song is dedicated to someone who was never mine."

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by

This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee,
The places that you've come to fear the most,
Is the place that you have come to fear the most.

I closed my eyes as the last words lingered in the air, breathing so hard I could feel every emotion in my body. I heard the loud roar of clapping throughout the bar, accompanied by Edward whistling and chanting my name. I was afraid to open my eyes and not see her there, afraid all of this had been for nothing. I slowly opened them and scanned the room for her, looking in every corner I could imagine, but she was nowhere to be found. So many faces surrounding me but none of them were hers. I felt my heart shatter as I took a bow just as the curtain came down on a chapter that never was. However, when I turned to head off stage, I saw her there in the wings, a wide smile across her face.

"Bella, you came, I can't believe it. You actually grew a spine." I said jokingly as I held her in my arms.

"Shut up," she responded playfully as she lightly punched me in the shoulder. "I can't believe you wrote that song. I'm trying to be mad at you but I can't deny that you're one talented SOB. It only makes me want to you even more."

She pulled me close to her and kissed me with all her might, it felt like the first time I had felt her lips touch mine but with even more promise behind it.

"Wow" I remarked, surprised as we came up for air." I wasn't expecting that but I've come to the realization that you, Bella Swan, are somewhat of a wild card. I have to admit, I like it." I said with a wide grin.

I brushed the hair behind her ear as I gazed into her beautiful brown eyes, feeling on top of the world.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? I wouldn't want you to get a scolding by your parents or your friends. Oh God, think of the drama." I joked.

"Ha, ha very funny, mister. I'm ready if you're ready; you think you can handle a girl like me?"

"Oh I'm ready, I've been ready since the first moment I saw you."

I took her in my arms and kissed her with all the desire that had been building up inside of me; all the doubts that had been plaguing me for the past few days suddenly dissipated.

Things were definitely looking up.