Name: Laser Pointers and Mice
Author: Blondezilla90
Rating: PG-14 (Language and sexual reference)
Character/Pairing: Finn/Rachel, cameos of Puck, Artie, Coach Biest, Sue Sylvester, Will Schuester and OC.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Ryan Murphy. Sadly.
Summary: This is a filling for the crack prompt I found on the crack meme:

"One day, Rachel has cat ears and a tail. No explanation, no backstory. Everyone acts as though this is perfectly normal, and Finn is the only one who realizes that this is out of the ordinary.
Super bonus points if at various points people distract her with keys, a laser pointer, or a catnip mouse so she won't interrupt."

AN: thank you Miss tjcrowfoot for betaing my story. You rock :D You guys she is totally awesome, you should go check her fics out! and thank you oreata for helping me out with a few ideas...you truly rock :D !

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Finn Hudson somehow had the feeling that today would be a really weird day. As soon as he got up and got ready for school, he felt like something was off. He pushed those feelings aside and went through his usual morning routine: Sleeping in 30 minutes, jumping up and running to the bathroom to brush his teeth, throwing on some clothes while climbing up the stairs to the kitchen where his mom was pouring some milk over his cereal. As usual, he literally chugged them down in one gulp and kissed his mom's forehead while grabbing his lunch for school, rushing out of the door. He heard his mother's faint laugh as he slammed the door shut and jumped into his truck, turning it on and heading to pick up his girlfriend. The thought of Rachel calmed him down a little and he leaned back into the seat as he drove, soon pulling into the driveway of the Berry household. As soon as he turned off his car he saw Rachel walking towards him, her books clutched to her chest as her tail waggled.

Her tail waggled.

Finn's eyes grew big and if he was in a cartoon he was sure his eyes would pop out now and ogle Rachel from head to toe. She had a tail. A cat's tail. And it was moving. Moving while a smile was plastered on her face. Finn blinked his eyes a couple of times and looked at her as she climbed into his truck, the smile growing wider as she leaned over to place a kiss on his lips. She noticed he wasn't responding so she pulled back and looked at him. Finn stared at her head as well and his jaw dropped. She had cat ears.

Cat Ears.

"Something wrong?" Rachel asked as she neatly placed her books on her lap. She grabbed the seat belt to buckle herself in, but Finn didn't respond and tried to process what he was seeing.

Rachel!

With a tail!

And Cat Ears!

He must be dreaming!

"Erm, no." He finally coughed out and shook his head. He was sure he was dreaming.

"Okay. If you say so," an unsure Rachel answered and rubbed her hand over her ear, purring a little as she leaned closer to Finn and let her other hand run over his thigh.

Did she just purr?

"Actually...," he tried to say but stopped immediately. He turned on the car, backing out of the driveway. The ride to school was quiet. Finn simply was at a loss for words and Rachel sensed something was up, but she didn't want to distract him while he was driving. She knew about his history of driving. And mailmen. As soon as he parked his car, the two of them got out. Rachel immediately walked over to Finn and grabbed his hand, rubbing her face against his upper arm as they walked in silence.

"We don't have any classes together today. Besides Glee." Rachel said with a pout and looked at him for a second, before turning her attention back to the school entrance. Finn nodded dumbfounded and just walked by her side, occasionally almost tripping every time he felt her tail brush against his naked calves. It felt weird. Furry and soft. It even tickled a little.

"Finn, are you really sure you're okay?" Rachel asked as she opened her locker, looking in her hanging mirror at Finn. Again Finn nodded, still not really saying a word. Rachel sighed and turned towards him, jumping away as she saw a splash of water coming towards her. She screeched loudly, followed by a hiss. Finn watched her as she shook a little and started to run her hands through her slightly wet hair.

"Hey Berry...Counted fleas today already? I feel really itchy and I wanna know if the ones you brought in are still with you." Karofsky yelled and high fived Amizo, who was walking next to him, both of them laughing hysterically. Rachel hissed yet again and made a face, giving Finn an accusing look.

"You could have helped me, you know. Instead of standing there and staring. I hate water." She whined and slammed her locker shut, rushing past him into the girls' bathroom. Finn's jaw dropped yet again, seeing Rachel storm off as the others laughed at her.

"Dude, you coulda watched out for ya lady, y'know." Puck said as he walked over to him, nudging him slightly.

"Uhmm. What?" He stuttered and turned towards his own locker, putting his backpack in.

"Y'know how much cats dislike water. Dude, you're like the worst boyfriend ever sometimes."

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

Was he the only one who noticed that Rachel suddenly grew a cat's tail and ears and thinks it's NOT normal?

"Shut the fuck up man." Finn sneered and stormed off to his first lesson. Puck looked after him and shook his head, turning around to see Santana and Brittany walking past him. He smirked and turned on his heel, chasing the two of them down the hall.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you still mad?" Finn asked for the fifth time, following Rachel down the corridor. For a moment he forgot all about her tail and ears, just focusing on the fact that Rachel was pissed at him. She didn't want him to walk her to any of her classes and she refused him his pre- and post lunch kisses. She chose to ignore him and just kept walking straight ahead, until Rachel suddenly turned around and hissed really loudly.

"I smell fear." Sue Sylvester screamed, which sounded more like a bark. "And a cat."

The very same moment Rachel dropped her bag and hissed again, jumping into Finns arms who, thanks to football, had good reflexes and caught her. He clutched her to his chest as she repeatedly hissed in fear her while her tail was tugged between him and herself. He looked at her face and noticed her ears being all flat instead of perky. As if it was completely normal, he rubbed his hands against her back and whispered soothing words into her side, kissing her cheek. Sue watched the scene unfold in front of her and she gave Finn a disgusted look as he kicked Rachel's bag carefully in the empty choir room and closed the door behind him. Rachel immediately jumped out of his arms and picked it up while straightening out her clothes.

"Thank you." She shyly whispered and looked down. Her tail slowly moved behind her, brushing over the floor as her ears stood up again. She used her hand to scratch her ear, dropping it fast as Finn walked closer, putting a hand on her arm.

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry about this morning." A half smile appeared on Finn's face and he tilted his head to the side as Rachel looked up, a slight tinge of red coloring her cheeks.

"It's okay." She mumbled shyly and got on her tip toes, pressing her lips against his. He sighed against her in relievf and wrapped his arms around her waist. Half-Cat-Half-Rachel was pretty awesome. He must admit that.

"Oh hell to the NO!" Finn and Rachel heard from the door as they pulled away as fast as they could. Mercedes with Mike and Tina stood there, the disgust showing on their faces.

"What?" Finn asked. Usually they didn't mind if they kissed and caught them. Or at least they didn't look disgusted.

"If she gets in heat you can smell it on her. She practically sprays the choir room. Again." Santana snarled as she walked past the group followed by Brittany. Rachel dropped her head, ashamed, and walked towards the chairs. Finn stared at Santana.

Again. What. The. Actual. Fuck?

"Can't you just shut up?" Finn sputtered out and walked towards Rachel, sitting down next to her as he pulled her closer, pressing his lips against the side of her head. "Just ignore her."

"Thanks." Rachel mumbled and smiled a little, leaning her head against Finn's shoulder. He smiled in return and leaned into her. His thumb caressed her hand gently and his smile turned into a grin when she started to purr.

"Okay guys...I think our set list for Sectionals is almost done and I found a great replacement for Kurt." Mr Schuester said unusually cheerfully as he walked into the choir room. Rachel pulled away from Finn immediately and sat up straight, her ears moving in excitement.

"Who is it, Mr Schue?" Will looked at Rachel and clapped his hands. The very same moment Mrs Soyle walked into the room. Rachel made a face and her tail stopped waggling as the others gasped.

"Mrs. Soyle? Our lunch lady? Really?" Artie said and put his finger on his glasses to push them up, taking another look at her.

"Yes. She is a fantastic singer. She is going to kick some butt with the song she's going to sing at Sectionals." Will smiled and handed out sheet music while Mrs. Soyle got ready to sing. Rachel's eyes bore into the woman as she clutched the sheet music in his hand, gasping loudly when she spotted the song title.

"Memories? THE SONG FROM CATS? YOU'RE GIVING HER THE SONG?" Rachel said with a high pitched voice as she jumped up, her tail whipping around in anger. It hit Finn in the face and he wildly moved his arms around, trying to keep it away while making a displeased face.

"Rachel...I..." Mrs Soyle started to speak, but Rachel cut her off with the snapping of her fingers.

"This is an insult Mr Shue. I was born to sing that song. Haven't you looked at me? I am, in fact, half a cat and you can't expect this copy of a gori..." Rachel started to rant but all of a sudden her eyes followed a tiny red light. Her instincts kicked in and as Mr Shue moved his hand, the little red dot jumped towards the door. Faster than a bullet Rachel ran after it, trying to get it with her hands. It was really amusing and the entire Club started to giggle as Will kept moving the laser pointer around.

"Mrs. Soyle. Take it away." He said and stepped aside as he looked at Rachel, jumping and leaping after the red dot. Finn watched him in surprise, anger filling his senses as his nose flared up. How dare he take advantage of Rachel like that? He was about to get up and punch Mr Shue when he distracted by the voice that filled the room and everyone stop looking at Rachel and actually looked at Mrs Soyle, who was nervously clutching her apron while belting out Memories from the Musical 'Cats'. Even Rachel perked an ear up and listened to her while chasing the laser pointer, quickly growing tired from all the movements.

As soon as Will saw a hint of sweat on her forehead he pointed the laser towards Finn and Rachel jumped to him. He turned it off and Rachel yawned loudly, sitting down on her chair while looking at Finn tiredly, leaning her head against his shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her, his hand gliding up her back to lightly scratch the back of her neck. As Mrs. Soyle stopped singing, Rachel let out a long satisfied purr while the others clapped and whistled, cheering for their lunch lady.

Soon Glee Club was over and Finn gathered his things while Rachel walked over to Mr Schuester to talk to him. This time no laser pointer was in sight and he smiled and he made his way over to his girlfriend and took her hand, walking to the lockers. Both put their books away and took out their bags, making their way towards the car.

"Care to join us for dinner?" Rachel asked as she slipped into the passenger seat. Finn nodded his head and grabbed his cell phone, handing it over to Rachel.

"Could you call my mom though? Just so she knows." He smiled and she nodded her head, quickly calling his mother while he drove the two of them over to her house. After pulling into her driveway the two of them got out and walked into the house. Rachel put her bag away and took off her shoes, immediately running towards the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took out the milk.

"Want some too?" She asked as she poured a glass and handed it to him, which Finn took. As he took a big gulp he almost chocked. Rachel as well poured herself a glass and was drinking it rather quickly. In shock he coughed really hard, causing milk to run out of his nose and mouth, his entire throat burning.

"FINN!...What's wrong?" She grabbed a napkin and handed it over to him so he was able to wipe his face and table.

"I thought you were a vegan?" He said and put his glass down, blowing his nose before throwing the napkin into the trash can.

"It's soy milk, silly." She giggled and finished her glass. Finn looked down at his milk and made a face. No wonder it tasted funny.

"Your entire shirt is drenched with milk. How about I throw it in the washing machine and lend you one of my dads?" She beamed at him and walked over to him, grabbing the hem of the shirt to pull it up. Finn looked down at her and smirked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"When will your dads be home again?" He mumbled and leaned down to kiss her softly. Rachel responded to the kiss and smiled against his lips. He slightly parted his mouth and let his tongue brush against her lips, nudging them apart. Suddenly he felt his tongue brush against hers, a shock of discomfort cursing through his body. Her tongue was...rough. Like a cat's tongue.

Finn mentally chuckled at the pun and retreated his tongue, pulling away to kiss her jaw and neck. She pushed him away a little instead and pulled his shirt over his head, her tongue flicking over his lips again.

Not good.

He straightened his back to prevent Rachel from kissing his lips further. She thought he just got tired of leaning down, so her lips moved to his jaw, down to his shoulder her tongue grazing his skin.

Not bad.

Her hands ran over his belly, brushing against his abs. Finn took a deep breath and almost moaned as he felt her rough tongue flick over his nipple, followed by her lips closing around it to suck.

Very good.

But before he knew it he felt cold air hitting his stiff nipple and Rachel was nowhere to be seen. Like he just woke up from a trance like state he heard a vase crash to the floor and Rachel hissing as she ran from the living room back into the kitchen.

"Mouse...mousemousemouse..." She chanted and increased her speed, jumping over the counter on top of the table and out the back door. Finn watched her in shock and in amusement. A few minutes later Rachel came back inside with a smile on her face. Her hair was tousled and there were mud stains on her shirt and skirt. Her tail was waggling wildly from the adrenalin rush. He chuckled and than started to laugh, cupping her cheek to wipe away a tiny bit of dirt.

"You're adorable...and dirty..." He smiled and suggestively moved his hands to her cardigan, slowly unbuttoning it.

"Well, how about we get rid of my clothing too..." She giggled and shrugged off her cardigan, pulling Finn closer for a kiss.

xxxxxxxx

"Wow," Finn panted and fell next to Rachel on the bed, his breath heavy while he tried to calm himself down.

He just took Rachel doggie style.

He chuckled.

He took a cat doggie style.

He stopped chuckling.

That was just disgusting, but the pun is just laugh worthy.

"What's so funny?" Rachel breathlessly said and rolled on her side, burying her face in his chest. She arched her back as he gently lifted his hand to stroke her, using his nails to lightly scratch her. Again he heard her purr and he smiled.

"Nothing," he mumbled as his eyelids grew heavier. The combination of post sex after glow and her purring slowly lulled him to sleep and soon he was asleep.

"Finn...Finn...wake up."

Finn's eyelids fluttered as he heard Rachel calling his name. As soon as his eyes opened they closed again and he let out a groan. Why the hell did he have such a massive headache all of the sudden?

"Finn...open your eyes..." Rachel spoke, her voice full of fear. He sighed and groaned, slowly opening his eyes again. He was hot. He was actually burning and as he tilted his head he felt a wet washcloth slide down his face.

"Where am I? And where are your ears?" He asked confused and tried to sit up, but Rachel pushed him down.

"My ears are in place and you're on the football field. You passed out during practice, baby. Probably the heat. God I'm glad you're okay." She mumbled and placed countless kisses on his face.

"But...not your ears...but cat ears." he mumbled and Rachel sat up, looking down at him with a frown on her face.

"My what?" She asked and put her hand on his forehead.

"He's probably just confused." Finn heard Coach Bieste in the background, handing Rachel a bottle of water. She nodded and looked down at him.

"What? No...I mean...you..." He stuttered and sighed.

"Finn, are you okay?" Rachel asked, helping him sit up as she handed him the bottle of water. Finally Finn was able to take a look at his girlfriend. No cat ears. No tail. He sighed in relief.

"Yes I'm fine. I am glad you're not a cat, cause...yeah I am totally allergic against them."

"Coach Bieste, I think we should take him to the nurse!" Rachel said worriedly and eyed Finn from head to toe.

"You think?" She sarcastically replied and helped Finn on his feet.

THE END