Almost

He lost it. Sasuke really, truly, completely lost his mind somewhere on the road of revenge, or at least that's the majority opinion. Personally, I don't know what to think. But as Sasuke sits in a padded jail cell awaiting trial and I sit in the Recovery Room of the hospital, I can't help but consider everything that has happened to me.

He had been zapping my chakra, not only that he was drugging me and had me under multiple genjutsus. Tsunade told me after they were done that the team of specialist had never seen a more complex weaving of genjutsus. They were layered and intertwined and tangled so thickly that they had feared my recovery from it would be impossible and that they would leave me brain dead by the time they were done. Fortunately it went better than they were expecting.

The genjutsus he had on me though, he had been trying to control every aspect of my life, every thought, every feeling, and every action. How much did he succeed? How much was me? The year I spent with him replay over and over again in my head. Most of that time is a blur.

So much of the time I spent with him is happy memories, though Sakura says the good feelings I have about those memories are mostly if not entirely due to the jutsus. I wonder if she's right about that part. Is there any truth to her words? Are my own feelings wrong? If it was just the jutsus, then shouldn't those feelings be gone now?

Can I truly accept that all of those memories are lies, that all those feelings are lies? I remember spending warm afternoons with him on the porch and him just being so Sasuke, and I remember waking up knowing, without a doubt for the first time in my life, that someone loved me completely just for being me. I didn't even feel that complete sense of doubtlessness with Sakura. It's difficult to believe that the level of love and compassion I feel with Sasuke was fabricated by a jutsu.

When I'm in the mood to believe them though, I get annoyed with myself. I think about how I feel and about Sasuke and what he's been through and I just can't summon any anger towards him. I know I should. In the back of my mind I know I should be furious, I should feel violated, I should feel used and maybe even humiliated. I should feel a lot of things that I just don't.

The times of doubt never last long and at the end of them all I want is Sasuke, and now I mean that more than just a brotherly way. And I don't blame him for that, in fact I don't really mind my newer feelings for him that much at all. Tsunade and Kakashi are sure that I'm in denial, that I just can't accept the fact that Sasuke is well and truly gone. And that what this person did is something the Sasuke of my memories would never do. They think I need help when I tell them Sasuke was just trying to do what he thought was best for me and that everything he did was out of love for me.

That's the part that everyone else understands the least. Everyone thinks Sasuke has become this horrible monster, that the old Sasuke has been gone for years and that no amount of trying will ever get him back. They can only see wickedness in his actions; they can't see his true motivations. They just don't understand that we need each other, that we have always needed each other and that this darkness inside of Sasuke isn't anything new and isn't anything to be feared. They just can't comprehend, or maybe they just don't want to acknowledge, this is who Sasuke was the entire time. From the moment his world came crashing down around his ears and his parents saw the business end of his brother's kunai, Sasuke was tainted, Sasuke was dark, Sasuke was just like me. And I don't think any of them, besides perhaps Kakashi, have any idea about the extent of the darkness within myself. But darkness or not, I want to be with Sasuke. I don't want to play house with Sakura or play good little soldier for Tsunade. I want to be by Sasuke's side. I need him.

I try to tell them that I was willing and that he didn't do anything I didn't want. I try to explain that my change in feelings and actions are my own. I try to explain that Sasuke didn't do anything wrong and that he treated me well and that if they just talked to Sasuke they would see that Sasuke really loves me.

Tsunade says that all of my "conflicting feelings" are the result of the mental stress from breaking the genjutsus and Stockholm syndrome. She assures me that talking with someone, plenty of rest, and time will help me see the circumstances better.

I hope she's right and I hope I see "reason" soon if she is. Because as it stands I don't think the Naruto they want to think I am will be sticking around much longer.

They claim they're helping me, that they want what's best for me, but all I see is them keeping me away from Sasuke. And really how could they know what I need better than Sasuke and I do?

And every day I'm forced to spend away from Sasuke, I start to see why Sasuke took matters into his own hands in the first place. No one else understands us. No one else ever will. It's pointless trying to explain to them what's going on between me and Sasuke. All they will do is try to tear us apart. They just can't understand. They can't see it. They can't feel it. They never will be able to. They don't have that same darkness in their eyes that we do.

Notes: Just thought it would probably be good to put in a reminder that neither Sasuke nor Naruto are reliable sources of information in this story. So, yes some information is left out and some information is warped or wrong.

So…Did Sasuke turn Naruto as crazy as himself, are there still jutsus on Naruto that the leaf nin missed, did the leaf nin damage Naruto when they were working on him (and if so how much), is he suffering from stress and Stockholm syndrome, or was Naruto having issues all along? That is left to your interpretation, and I would love to hear your opinion on what's up with Naruto and how Sasuke is doing in that cell.

Consider this an open ending, if more of my original story comes back to me or if I get inspiration to continue this story I will, but as of now it's finished.