201. I must not ask Pureblood students things like "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister" as it is inapporpriate.

202. Trying to convince first years to build a tree house in the Whomping Willow is not allowed.

203. I must not ask refer to Dobby as "Santa's Little Lost Helper".

204. –especially to his face.

205. I must not teach first years to sing "Draco the Bouncing Ferret Boy" in unison whenever they see him. It is wrong and not at all amusing.

206. I must not request Mad-Eye Moody to turn Draco back into a ferret so I can keep him as a pet.

207. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.

208. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.

209. I must not use this as a checklist.

210. –that said I must not do all of the things on it.

211. –again.

212. I must not sell the Sorting Hat to circus people.

213. I must not ask Harry if I can have a lightening scar, too.

214. I must not charm Neville's toad, Trevor, into jumping around the school saying "Rawr! I am the Dark Lord reborn!"

215. I must not ask Harry to sing "I Will Survive" whenever I see him in the hallways.

216. –or anywhere else.

217. It is rude to say "He's obviously not good enough…" no matter who I am speaking to.

218. –this goes double for Harry Potter.

219. I must not shout "POOF!" every time I apparate.

220. I must not make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

221. I must not have my own theme music and sing it while walking around school.

222. –even if it makes me feel cool.

223. –even if I think I am a very good singer.

224. I must not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination.

225. –As such, Fortune cookies are not legitimate homework assignments that can be turned in for a grade.

226. I must not steal the Sword of Gryffindor and use it to patrol the hallways.

227. I must not scream battle cries in the middle of a hallway or classroom or anywhere on Hogwarts grounds.

228. –this does not mean that I can go off of Hogwarts grounds whenever I want.

229. I must not magically animate marshmallow Peeps or gummy bears, gummy worms, animal crackers, gingerbread men, or any other food item I can think of.

230. "To conquer the world with a band of flying monkeys" is not an adequate career choice.

231. I must not sing "Schoolhouse Rock" songs during any class.

232. I must not place Muggle books on fairy-tale creatures in the library.

233. I must not use first-years as Christmas ornaments.

234. Calling "Ghostbusters" is a cruel joke to play on the residential ghosts of Hogwarts and I must restrain from doing so.

235. –again.

236. I must not call Dumbledore "My Liege".

237. –this goes the same for any other professor.

238. I am not the "Defense Against the Boring Classes" professor and must stop convincing first-years to join my class.

239. I must not do my impersonation of the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

240. I must not sing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song in the hallways of Hogwarts.

241. "I've heard every joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

242. Asking Harry how Hedwig is doing is mean.

243. I must not call people "Bloody Squibs" as it is offensive and totally inappropriate.

244. –"Blasted Squibs" is no better.

245. There is no "Bring a Death Eater to School Day" nor has there ever been and there never will be.

246. Mrs. Norris cannot fly and I must not "try to teach her".

247. I must not implant Mad Eye Moody's weird eye in a dead animal.

248. –nor can I wear it (implying both the eye and the dead animal…and both at once).

249. It is not over when the Fat Lady sings, even if I teach her opera.

250. I must not let Blast-Ended Screwts loose anywhere on school grounds.

251. I must not teach the House Elves wizardry.