Aro sat at his desk, his hands warped around his middle and his head resting on the cool wood of the table top. His hands were shaking; in fact his entire body was shaking.

It had been three years since Carlisle left.

To a human that would seem like a vast expanse of time in which memories were made and forgotten, new experiences occurred and relationships were made and destroyed. To Aro though, the time felt like the blink of an eye. In that time nothing had changed about him. He envied those simple humans, how easily they forgot, how easily they replaced what they lost. Aro could never replace Carlisle.

Ever.

Aro pressed his forehead against the polished table top and continued with his newest hobby of the past three years, remembering. He would shut himself in his study, avoiding the questioning eyes of his clan, the distant eyes of his mate and let the memories wash over him. The memories weren't always memories though, sometimes Aro's mind would wander, and he would find himself coming up with scenarios involving Carlisle bursting through the doors of the study, declaring he had been foolish to leave and he never would again.

Sighing Aro let an old memory wash over him, one he hadn't used in a long time...

It was night in Volteria. Aro sat in the library, located deep within the catacombs of his home, reading and wondering where Carlisle had gotten too. He had left for a hunt this morning, and Aro hadn't heard from him since. Although he refused to admit it to himself, Aro was worried. Carlisle was a gentle creature, anyone could see that, it was one of the things that had first drawn Aro to him.

It was also, one of the things that made him fear for Carlisle.

If a wandering vampire decided to fight Carlisle, as they were prone to do, Aro knew Carlisle would try to talk the vampire out if their actions or sacrifice himself to preserve the life of some blood crazed new born, rather than defend himself. Squeezing his eyes shut, Aro gently put the book on the table and took a deep breath through his nose. Everything would be fine, Carlisle would be fine. He just had to relax and wait. Waiting should be second nature to one so old.

Time continued to tick past, Aro felt his worry grow. He began to contemplate looking for Carlisle, but was hesitant, he didn't want to scare of the young vampire or seem possessive. Time continued to slip away, finally, when he couldn't take it anymore Aro stood and left the library. Walking down the corridor he came across Jane, licking fresh blood of her fingers.

"You missed dinner Aro." She chided, a slight smile on her face.

"Later Jane," Aro murmured, he had other things on his mind.

Rain thundered down as Aro left his home. Lifting his face to the sky he sniffed slightly trying to find Carlisle's sent. To a younger vampire the rain and length of Carlisle's absence would have made this almost impossible. Not for Aro though, after a minute of sniffing he found Carlisle's scent, and without another thought he began to track it. The rain soon plastered Aro's hood to his head and soaked him to the bone, obviously he wasn't cold, but it was uncomfortable though, to have his clothes sticking to him. These thoughts soon left Aro's mind as Carlisle's scent grew stronger. He had entered a heavily wooded area where the rain was less intense due to the foliage. Aro's brow knitted as he traced Carlisle's scent down the winding forest path, any minute now he'd find the man. Just as the thought crossed his mind, the trees thinned out to form a clearing.

There, on the opposite side, sat Carlisle, his blond hair plastered to his skull by the heavy downpour. His mouth was slightly agape, as if he was still in shock over some horrific calamity, but it was his eyes that frightened Aro the most. They were dark, proof he hadn't hunted, with a blank look to them, as if Carlisle had retreated to some place so deep within himself he'd gotten lost.

In a flash Aro was across the clearing, not wanting to scare Carlisle, he approached the man slowly, one hand extended as if to show he meant no harm.

"Carlisle?" he said softly, crouching down next to him and placing a hand cautiously on his shoulder. "Carlisle what happened?"

Instead of answering Carlisle just kept staring blankly ahead. Aro gently wrapped one arm around Carlisle's shoulders, pulling him close against his side. Carlisle didn't even move then. He just continued to sit there, his legs extended straight out in front of him with his hands in his lap, looking like a lost child.

Aro tried again, "Carlisle, what happened? Why didn't you hunt?" he gently rubbed his hand up and down Carlisle's upper arm, although trying to warm him was a futile gesture. They were vampires after all. Instead he just sat there with Carlisle, waiting for him to talk when he was ready. To pass the time he stared at the way the rain drops darkened Carlisle's hair to a deep gold, and trailed over his profile. Carlisle seemed oblivious to his scrutiny, he just continued to stare. It was beginning to unnerve Aro, and that was saying something. He would have to take action then.

Sliding one hand under Carlisle's chin, he forced the other man to face him. Carlisle was stubborn though, he kept his eyes down cast. Aro kept his power in check, it always felt wrong somehow, invading Carlisle's thoughts. Carlisle didn't deserve to be so exposed... he was different to Aro.

"Look at me," Aro whispered, he didn't know why but Aro felt if he spoke to loudly or moved to quickly Carlisle would bolt.

Carlisle didn't move an inch. Aro tightened his grip slightly and ran his thumb along Carlisle's jaw, leaning in close, to try to entice an answer from him.

"I-I...

"Yes," Aro whispered his mouth only an inch from Carlisle's ear. The other man shuddered slightly and sighed.

"I-I'm a monster Aro."

Aro just raised his eyebrows in a silent question, he gently brushed his fingers down Carlisle's cheek, trying to comfort him. Ignoring Aro, Carlisle continued, the words spilling out of him in a broken, dead voice.

"I was out hunting and there was this-this woman. She-she shouldn't have been here... humans never come here, but... there she was. I was tracking a deer, and her scent hit me...I-I didn't know what to do... the next thing I knew I had these images in my head of biting her, drinking from her, killing her...

Carlisle's words trailed off, he leaned heavily against Aro resting his head against Aro's shoulder.

"What happened then?" Aro asked, wrapping his other arm around Carlisle's waist pulling him even closer.

"I...ran away, I just tore myself away. It-it may seem like nothing to you...but the images in my head...I-I felt so hungry. I just wanted to devour that woman. The satisfaction afterward was so tantalizing...

Aro suppressed a sigh. To him, what Carlisle felt was no different from what he felt everyday when he fed. Carlisle was different though, he couldn't bring himself to tell Carlisle it was normal for him to feel this way. That he was a vampire, and this was expected of him. After all, he knew all about Carlisle's special diet.

"But you didn't kill her, she's fine. You can't destroy yourself over what you feel Carlisle, it will drive you mad."

"It would have been so easy though... so easy to just give in."

It was on the tip of Aro's tongue to tell Carlisle he could do just that, give in, feed like him, but he couldn't do that. Not when he knew how much preserving human life meant to Carlisle, also he didn't want to bring up that old argument now, when Carlisle seemed so broken.

"You're strong Carlisle, stronger than me. You didn't give in, that woman is alive because of that."

Carlisle looked at Aro for the first time since he found him. His eyes looked torn now, as if he wanted to believe Aro but thought it was too good to be true. Aro ran his hand down Carlisle's face and through his wet hair, causing it to stick up.

"I'm not stronger than you." Carlisle said, his voice was indignant.

Aro chuckled; relieved Carlisle's voice had changed from its dead tone. He rested his forehead against Carlisle's, their noses brushing.

"Yes you are."

Carlisle shook his head, closing his eyes and putting his hands around Aro's neck. Aro grinned, pressing his lips feather lightly across Carlisle's. It was the first time he'd done that and he wondered how it would be received. Carlisle pulled back, looking slightly shocked. Then, to Aro relief, he smiled slightly and leaned against Aro's shoulder.

"Put this behind you Carlisle, nothing happened. That woman is fine."

Aro felt Carlisle's lips form a simile against his neck.

"Thank you Aro"

Aro smiled and pulled Carlisle even closer, if that was possible, and pressed a quick kiss on the top of Carlisle's head...

Aro tightened his arms around his torso. Grinding his eyelids shut and clenching his teeth, he pulled himself out his memories. He could still feel Carlisle in his arms, smell him...

With another sigh he stood up, brushing his hair back. Aro wondered where Carlisle was now, if he ever thought of him. Probably not. The memories were probably too horrific for him...

A continent away Carlisle sat under a tree, watching the sun set. Staring up at the sky he absent-mindedly ran a hand down his cheek, while his thoughts wandered back to a tall, dark haired man who had comforted him when others couldn't.

Sighing, he stood up. Aro had probably reconnected with his mate by know, leaving Carlisle as just an annoying memory. Turning his back on the sun, Carlisle walked away, trying to push all thoughts of Aro from his head...

A/N: Sorry for the delay! This story just got push to the side when school and craziness started.

Ah Carlisle, so delicate. XD

Anyway tell me what you think. If you have any questions feel free to ask.