UchiSays: Hello, welcome to Three Lessons (formerly titled Where Fault Lies) Part One of Four. I'm really not sure what to say about this story, it's one of my more serious pieces and I can only hope that you like it. While Blaise Zabini is a major character in this story, the actual pairing his Draco/Harry, Just a little heads up so you won't be surprised later.

UchiBegs: Please read and review.

Three Lessons

Lesson One: Who to Blame (I Love You, And...)They had buried his mother at dawn. Draco could remember when he was little how Mother had always said that she wanted to be buried either at dusk or during a rain storm. The former because while it was commonly considered the ending a day, dusk was also the beginning of a night. She liked the concept of being laid to rest at a time that both began and ended something, though she refused to even consider being buried at dawn. The logic behind being buried during a rain storm was because rain washed away all sins and left behind purity. Rain could both help and destroy. And rain would hide the tears on her loved ones face so she wouldn't have to see them in pain.

When he was younger and listened to his mother sprouting out such things; he'd thought her insane, and only partly because he'd deluded himself into believing his mother would live forever. But when the time came, they had gone against her wishes and buried her at dawn.

Not many people had attended the funeral. The Malfoys weren't a very popular family despite their role in ending the war and ensuring victory for the Light. Draco didn't care. His mother had always said she didn't want a big funeral. Only the important people needed to attend. Draco, of course, was there. His father wasn't though. Pansy Parkinson had came with her mother. Potter was there as well as a handful of Weasleys. And, for some unknown reason, Blaise Zabini had thought to attend. Draco wondered if it was obligation that had made the leaders of the Light come; Narcissa had put herself at risk to help them reach their goals after all, or perhaps they genuinely wished to be there... definitely the former. His father would have come, but certain dickheads at the Ministry wouldn't let him off house arrest even to attend his own wife's funeral.

Draco stood amidst the small gathering and watched as a Wizard who hadn't even known her delivered his mother's eulogy. Swallowing thickly, Draco realized his mother would at least get one of her wishes: she wouldn't have to see her loved ones cry, because no matter how hard he tried he couldn't summon tears to his eyes. He just stood there staring at the burial plot in front of him: saying nothing, doing nothing, just standing, staring, and wondering why he hadn't fought harder for them to bury her at dusk. Even as he heard the other people departing; he just stood there.

"Malfoy," a voice said from behind him. Draco turned and saw Potter standing there looking at him. His green eyes were filled with sorrow and pity; Draco hated that look. "Malfoy, I'm sorry for your loss," the Hero of the Wizarding World said. "Narcissa saved my life out in the forest. I owed her a Life Debt."

"The entire world owes you a Life Debt, Potter," Draco said back in a somewhat harsh tone. "What does one debt you owe matter?"

"It matters a lot to me, but this isn't the place for this discussion. I just wanted to give you my condolences."

Draco breathed deeply and fixed his gaze on an invisible point near Potter's feet. "Thanks."

"Harry," a voice called from off to the side. The Weasleys were waiting to leave. Harry gave a halfhearted goodbye to Draco and rushed off the join the red heads. They didn't stick around much longer after that, opting instead to apparate away at their earliest convenience.

"Draco," a familiar voice garnered his attention. "I'm sorry for your loss," Pansy Parkinson said, leaving her mother's side in order to speak to him. "Narcissa was a great woman. She will be missed."

"Thank you, Pansy," Draco said softly.

"I can't help but feel it was all my fault," Pansy felt to add. Narcissa had died while protecting Pansy and a group of fist years from the Death Eaters attacking the school.

"Don't do that, Pansy," Draco's voice sounded duller than it ever had before. "Don't blame yourself, for the fault does not lie with you. I'm to blame for my mother's death. That burden is on my shoulders alone." The words sounded stiff and formal, impersonal, but Draco believed every one of them.

"Dra-" Pansy started, but before she could finish the thought her mother joined them.

"Mr. Malfoy, you carry my sympathies for your loss, but Pansy and I really must get going. Your mother was a great woman and I owe her my daughter's life, but we do not have all day to mope about here. No offense intended of course."

"None taken," Draco replied monotonously. "I have no desire to remain here either. Thank you for coming." The Lady Parkinson gave a stiff nod before instructing Pansy to say her goodbyes so that they could get going.

Pansy nodded as her mother stepped away to allow them a few second's privacy. "Stay strong, Draco. Don't you go blaming yourself either."

Draco managed a half smile in Pansy's direction, before the two women departed. To himself he said, "You don't seen to get it, Pansy. My mother's death really is my fault."

Draco turned and glanced at his mother's gravestone with a solemn look upon his face. He had lost too many people in the recent months: first his godfather, then one of his closest friends, for all intents and purposes he had lost his father as well, and now he'd lost the last person that meant anything to him, the one person he would have given anything to keep alive: his mother. And her death was entirely his fault. He would never be able to forgive himself.

::-::

Hogwarts had sustained on minimal damage during the final battle: the Astronomy Tower had been destroyed as well as greenhouses one through four, but everything else was, for the most part, in one piece. Because of this the school was only to be closed for two weeks after the battle before classes resumed. Draco had spent the first part of this respite at the Manor with his father, but after the first week and a half he decided to return to school early.

He hadn't been the only student early to return to the school, some students had no home to return to or had no one left at their home for them. Last Draco had heard, there was at least fifteen Gryffindor students, seven Hufflepuffs, three Ravenclaws, and nine Slytherins currently within the castle. But he couldn't be positive because he was avoiding all of them.

He had only been back at the castle for one day, but he'd yet to leave his rooms for more than slipping down to the kitchens for a solitary meal. Draco had no desire to socialize with anyone, because with the war being so freshly over there was only one topic of conversation anymore. Draco didn't think he could stand hearing another person pity him and ask to be pitied in return for their loses in the war. He didn't want anyone to bring up his mother's name anymore. It was bad enough back at the manor where everywhere he looked he was surrounded by his mother's presence. That had been the place his mother had lived, worked, and fought. She had raised him it that house, had protected him when the darkness had descended upon it, and had guided him towards making his own decisions about life and about the war.

Everywhere he looked within the manor's walls, he could see his mother there. Everywhere he went, he could hear her voice. She blamed him for her death. He knew she did, because he blamed himself.

Not liking feeling such self-loathing, Draco had escaped to Hogwarts. But that wasn't much better, because it was at this school where his mother had breathed her last. Draco had sat in his room in the dungeons trying to tune out the sound of his mother's voice ringing though his head, but it had been a futile attempt and in a fury he had dashed from the room, out of the Slytherin dorms, up from the dungeons, and onto the Hogwarts grounds.

Eventually his mad dash had come to a stop when he reached the Black Lake. Walking along the edge of the water, Draco found a secluded spot beneath a tree to sit down. In his isolated spot by the Black Lake, all of Draco's cares seeded to cease in importance. There was no-one else about and Draco had no reason to worry over anything. Draco sat alone for what seemed like hours, staring out over the water, and watching the sky above it. The calm atmosphere lured him into a state of peaceable contentment. So at peace he was, he didn't notice the passage of time, nor the footsteps approaching him, until his peaceable silence was broken.

"Malfoy?" Someone called out to him.

Draco looked up into the warm brown eyes of his year-mate and fellow Slytherin Blaise Zabini. Draco didn't really know Zabini all that well, sure they were in the same year and house, but they ran with different circles. In fact, one could say Zabini didn't run with any circle; he was a bit of a loner who spent his time reading books. His family had been neutral in the war, and Draco had never had the opportunity to engage him in an actual conversation. He, like everyone else, had heard the rumors about Zabini being caught in a compromising situation with the Gryffindor boy Seamus Finnegan, but Draco hadn't really paid much attention to it. He and Blaise Zabini really didn't know each other at all.

"Zabini," Draco said in acknowledgment.

"You're in my spot," the half-Italian Slytherin said.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know," Draco said, debating with himself over whether he should just get up and leave. Had this conversation taken place just a few weeks prior Draco would have played the role or the pompous arse, but with things the way they were now, he didn't know what role to play anymore.

"No problem," Zabini said, inviting himself to take a seat next to Draco. "I doubt I could rightfully call this spot mine. I just like to come here on occasion. Whenever I can get away, or need to get away from everyone else. It's peaceful and has a great view of the sky." Zabini paused. "I love watching the sky; it's just so beautiful." He stared out over the water with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"I've never taken the opportunity to admire the beauty of the sky before," Draco admitted softly, "but you're right. The sky holds a unique beauty; one that can lull you into a state of peace even at the most hectic times in your life."

"That's the magic of nature. A magic they can't teach us here." Zabini smiled at him, and Draco couldn't help but offer a small smile in turn.

They sat in silence for a while, before Zabini spoke again. "I want to say I'm sorry for you loss, but I know what it's like to lose someone important to you, and I know that's not something you want to hear again. I see no point in giving you a pep talk and saying you'll get over it soon, because I know for a fact getting over it is nearly impossible."

Draco didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. Zabini didn't seem to mind, since he let the silence drag on comfortably. "I-" Draco paused and tried to start again, "I can't help but feel it's my fault."

"What?" Zabini asked. "That's stupid. Of course-"

"My mother wouldn't have died had it not been for me," Draco cut in. "I could have been the one to go after the group of students, but I didn't. I was right there, but I just stood by while my mother sacrifice herself. In fact, I could have avoided the situation all together. Mother was always telling to start making decisions for myself, especially about the war. If I had listened to her sooner, we wouldn't even have been here. There's so many things I could have done, that I didn't, and now my mother is dead."

"Hmph," Zabini huffed. "Is this pity party over yet?" he grumbled. "The survivors always blame themselves. All these 'should have, could have, would haves' don't mean a thing. Regrets are for those who don't know how to live in the moment, and what you didn't do back then holds no weight now. What matters is what you did do. You did eventually start thinking for yourself. You did try to help her. You did make one of the hardest choice a child has to make, which parent is right and which is wrong. You did all you could at the moment. You probably made her the most proud mother in existence, but she's dead now, Draco. And we both know there's nothing you could have done about it. Does sitting here wishing things had gone differently change what's already happened? No! So, when you're done blaming yourself, remember it wasn't your fault."