Maka fell asleep in Tsubaki's arms, only to be woken up by... "YAHOOOOO! I'M ME AGAIN! BIG OLD WONDERFUL MALE ME AGAIN! NO TITS, NORMAL DICK, NO PUSSY! YAHOOOOO BLACKSTAR'S BACK!"

"HEY YOU IDIOT!" Soul's female form yelled. "THATS NOT THE STRAP ON YOU HAVE INSIDE ME THATS YOUR DICK!"

"So? You're my boyfriend, girlfriend now, what's it matter?"

"YOU COULD GET ME PREGNANT YOU DUMBASS, AND THEN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! GET A RUBBER DAMNIT!"

"Oops, sorry. While the children of big old me would be blessed its probably better we not have children for a few years." Blackstar agreed.

"Bedside drawer." Soul fumed.

Maka pulled on her robe, realizing that she was back to normal, Tsubaki was not. She creeked open her bedroom door, and saw a trail of clothing. It lead from an Xbox with dead halo characters on the screen to Soul's room. The door was open a crack, Blackstar was back to normal, Soul was still a girl.

Maka's nose about bled. Soul's legs were in the air, he was very, very female, breasts flushed and nipples peaked. There was a faint sheen of sweat on his face and a strap on abandoned on the floor. Blackstar was hurriedly rolling on a condom and Soul's sex was wet and dripping. Maka could /tell/ how aroused he was.

She tiptoed to the bathroom, and started running a bath. Tsubaki entered behind her, wrapping her arms around Maka's waist. "At least you're back to normal."

"Yeah." Maka reached up and kissed Tsubaki gently on the lips. "I ran us a bath to clean up with. That was intense."

"We should try again when we're both back to normal." Tsubaki chuckled. "This body, its no wonder Blackstar can be oblivious, I feel like my sense of touch has been dulled. I wonder are all boys bodies this way?"

"When we were having sex, I felt like my genitalia had reduced in sensitivity except for the head. BUT, I distinctly felt an intense lack of self control. It wasn't all the magic from the book either. It was /definately/ partially the male physiology and I didn't know how to control it. I remember reading that the structures in the male brain that have to do with impulse control are less developed."

"Probably because risky behavior increases the chances of passing on genes." Tsubaki blinked. "I do believe that my male persona has a small amount of your intellect." She sounded surprised. "At least my voice isn't too different." She hugged Maka as she measured out some lavender salts into the bath. "Epsom salts?"

"Good for not only infections, but for nerve conductivity and soreness." Maka quoted. "C'mon, we'll cuddle and /try/ to ignore them."

"Okay." Tsubaki chuckled.

Ignoring them was harder than it seemed, especially since the sounds Soul and Blackstar were making seemed to move down the hall to the kitchen. "NO YOU IDIOT, USE A NEW CONDOM EVERY TIME! Now it might be better if you set me on the counter."

Blackstar sniggered. "No, no NOT that!" Soul yelled.

"Heheheheheheh, Extra Virgin..." Blackstar sniggered. "Perfect for you Soul you're complaining like one."

"SHUT UP, I'm not feeling particularly confident in this body and I'd much rather get off as many times as I can before it goes."

"Why?"

"I'm feeling ultra horny." Kissing noises, moans, groans, thuds. Then a scream of pleasure and a groan as they took a breath. "oh shit, it broke!"

"That moron." maka growled quietly. "Oil based lubricants break condoms." She snuggled into Tsubaki's arms. Tsubaki was alternately blushing furiously at the noises, and noises were coming from the two of them aplenty, and giggling. Maka couldn't help an occasional nervous giggle.

WHAM! "BLACKSTAARRRRR!"

"so tight... shiiiiittt..."

"I'm not tight, you're just that big. Get DOWN here and kiss me you moron."

Maka's nose was bleeding. "I have to do something."

"Sure."

Maka slipped on her robe, stormed out into the living room dripping wet. "ROOM! Now! Both of you! I'm trying to take a bath with Tsubaki and you WOKE ME..." Maka found herself subject to a torrential nosebleed. A blair shoving soul into her clevage nosebleed.

Blackstar was standing over Soul, butt naked, on the couch. Maka had a very, very nice view of his dick as she'd caught him midway into rolling a condom onto his erection. Soul was moaning in pleasure legs up, flushed, his normally cool and collected facade completely undone. Maka could see his medium sized bust line and even more arousing, his hot, wet sex dripping fluids.

Maka screamed and ran back into the bathroom.

Blackstar started laughing. Soul started yelling. Maka groaned into Tsubaki's chest. "Hey, lets get out, get dressed, and go for coffee instead of a hot bath for our after glow?"

"Sounds like a good idea."

Maka and Tsubaki dried, dressed, and sneaked past Soul and Blackstar, who were so engrossed in each other they didn't notice.

Kid got the chance to question Toc for about an hour. About that same time his father changed back to normal. "Sorry for my behavior Kid. I have to get to work on this seal, I'll be in my study if you need me. Oh, and the succubus is called the demon of lust for a reason, so don't do anything lustful while you're a girl okay?"

Kid didn't feel like sex anyway, he wanted to curl up in a ball with Chrona and sleep. "Thanks Toc."

Kid had been taking meticulous notes, but now he sat up. "I'll ask you some more tomorrow. I'm sleepy."

"You aren't affected by the succubus' magic?" Toc asked curiously.

"I am, it makes me sleepy. I want to curl up with my lover and rest."

"oh hooooo." Toc peered curiously at Kid, pressing a hand to his forehead. "you don't seem to be sick."

"I'm /not/. I just want to enjoy time with my boyfriend so if you don't mind." He made a shooing motion.

Toc sighed. "Alright, clearly I cannot catch your interest longer while you are under the succubus' magic. Go have lustful cavortions with your boyfriend."

Kid ignored Toc, face twitching. Toc seemed too proper even for Kid to be able to handle. "Hey Toc, can I ask you something?"

"Certainly."

"Your face looks like the opposite of Excalibur's face, why?"

"Eibon hated him." Toc Excalibur faced. "I don't blame him, that /pompous/ baffoon. My face is an effort to make a statement about what Eibon wanted to do to Excalibur." And then Toc was slipping out. Kid curled up with Chrona. Oddly, the Succubus' magic just made him cuddly and sleepy. Very cuddly and very sleepy.

"You're tired Kid?" Chrona asked, yawning himself.

"Yeah, you could put an asymmetrical mummy in front of me and I'd still fall asleep I'm so tired."

"Don't forget to check your belly." Chrona mumbled, rapidly falling asleep. "I see it glowing again."

But Kid was already asleep, cuddled cutely with Chrona, and for once beating the demon swordsman in the department of adorableness.

Stein's knees hurt. They tended to do that when he'd been having sex frequently. Especially with Spirit, who tended to prefer positions that would require Stein to support both their weights. He'd just tossed a naproxen down with a generous gulp of coffee the next morning when Kid, now completely back to normal, came in. It had been an eventful morning. Of the deathscythes, only Spirit and Azusa were still girls. Liz had started the day a man, but changed back in the middle of class. Poor poor Tsubaki was /still/ male. Kilik had teased her "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the horniest one of all?"

"Professor?"

"Yes Kid?" Stein yawned. His cigarettes never helped him when he'd pulled an all nighter or most of the nighter with Spirit. In fact, he never needed them the morning after. After lunch the cravings for nicotine would hit, and Stein would have to run off. But he supposed if he had sex with Spirit at midday he'd probably not need one in the afternoon either.

And they were technically trying to get pregnant, so even though what Spirit had done with him the night before was definitely lustful, sex for the purpose of reproduction usually didn't have much of an issue with the succubus' magic. Neither really, did sexual acts done with one's heart full of love.

"I need an examination."

"Any particular issue?"

"Migranes, the only thing that really works for them is an herbal cure Kim made. When they hit I can't even concentrate on the board in class. My vision is fine, but the pain."

"Anything else." Stein arched an eyebrow.

"My OCD has been getting worse." Kid admitted.

"Alright, then I think its time I ran a blood test for strep and a standard blood panel. As for the migranes, they could very well be stress, so take a few days off from school and see if you can get a couple of massages from the new sports spa." Stein yawned. "If the strep test is negative I'll have an MRI done."

"There's something else too." Kid blushed.

"oh?"

"Starting to gain weight." He mumbled.

"Any changes in diet or exercise?"

"god damnit, I'm not some couch potato Stein."

"Of course not, shinigami metabolism is supposedly finicky when you go through puberty." Stein was and wasn't in a good mood considering Spirit's libido. On the one hand, he had lots of sex, on the other hand, he was in pain. When /was/ that naproxen sodium going to kick in? "Anyway, lets get that sample and that should give me a better idea of what's wrong with you. Does any particular activity precipitate the migranes, reading, computer use, video games, anything?"

"No, they seem to hit at random, though they're most intense in the morning. But Stein."

"Hmm?"

"My OCD getting worse really concerns me."

"Which is why we're checking for strep." Stein got the blood sample and pulled out a tongue depressor. "Say ah, let me look at your throat."

"You know that won't work, but fine, aaaaaaaaah." (1)

Stein smirked, quickly getting a mouth swab. Kid squeaked, nearly biting the swab's stick in half. "I never said I was just looking. A mouth swab will allow me to test your throat for the bacteria. Always good to have a backup." Stein sighed. "Alright, let me take these to the lab. I want you to go home, I'll let Liz and Patti know that I gave you a couple of days off. Besides, if you really /did/ get strep and your Pandas is reacting, then you definitely want to stay home from school."

"When will the tests be back?"

"With /my/ machinery? By the time school lets out." Stein beamed.

Chrona was nervous, Kid wasn't in class, including in their survival class. "M... Maka... where's Kid."

Stein wheeled in. "Right! Kid's been excused from school for medical leave, but Blackstar has no excuse for being late. And where's Soul? They aren't fighting /again/ are they?"

"Maybe he's with Soul, I mean they're good friends and Soul was really freaked out by the succubus' magic yesterday."

"I still can't believe I /missed/ that!" One of the girls whined. "I'd love to see Mister Cool Sexist Pig wear his sex organs on the inside. And Blackstar turning into a girl? Poetic Justice for his idiotic yelling every day."

"Right, Alyssa detention."

"But senseeeiii! You know its true! Where does Soul get off insulting his Meister's bra size? Thats totally sexist! And Blackstar needs his vocal chords surgically removed so that we have peace and..."

"I THE MIGHTY BLACKSTAR HAVE BEEN LAID IN A CLOSET!" Blackstar yelled, bouncing up the aisle.

"Oh good Lord." Alyssa was not fond of Blackstar. She was known for openly calling him names, none of which were flattering. "Ladies get out your iron girdles, the moron has discovered how to procreate."

"so Blackstar is accounted for and Alyssa gets three detentions instead of one. If Soul doesn't get here in ten minutes he's getting a detention."

"Oh I passed him on the way to the bathroom." Blackstar beamed. "Something about drinking less orange juice with breakfast."

Yeah, for the past 3 days Soul had been craving orange juice. He'd gone through a gallon already. And the rate at which he had to go to the bathroom afterwards, while not surprising, made Maka wonder if something was wrong with his blood sugar that he had to go to the bathroom that much.

What was it with sex that messed with the heads of men? Maka had /been/ a man not even 12 hours before, and yet she still couldn't understand them. Why were they so SEX obsessed?

Soul was back five minutes later, a faint smile aimed at Blackstar.

Maka wasn't happy, every so often the teachers liked to hint that the tardiness of one partner would land the other partner a reduction in their GPA. So after class she sighed. "Soul what is with you and being late?"

"Look, I had a quickie with Blackstar and if I hadn't had to pee afterwards I'd have been here a few seconds before him."

"You played HOOKIE for a QUICKIE! The teachers could dock my grades!" Maka wailed.

"They won't dock your grades, thats an empty threat. But if you keep shouting Stein will make you scrub his lab again."

They quickly got to work, but over the course of the morning, Maka noticed Soul had to take frequent bathroom breaks. Every couple of hours, and he was drinking a lot of water. Finally when they broke for lunch, Stein finished. "Soul Evans, I need you to come with me. I've had it with your frequent bathroom breaks, time to get to the bottom of whatever's bothering you."

"Finally..." Soul sighed in disgust. "I'll meet you at the dispensary, I need to go again."

Stein waited patiently, then took Soul inside for an examination and Maka waited outside. She heard muffled yells of shock, the sound of... Soul was /crying?/ Then he came out, red eyed, angry, and his cheeks tear stained. Soul grabbed Maka by the hand and pulled her away. "Lets go."

"just a moment..." Stein sighed. "You're off combat for the next month. Tomorrow morning at about ten, drink a twenty ounce bottle of water and don't pee until you get to my office. Lay off the sex for a night because the tests I'm going to run will get confused if they encounter foreign fluids."

"Whatever screw head, shut up, leave me alone, and go screw Maka's dad like you know you want to!"

"DETENTION!" Stein roared. "Go home, get some rest. Maka you can stay if you want."

Soul looked into Maka's eyes, and she sensed something wrong, he needed her. "Meister and weapon are two as one, I'm going with my partner."

Soul didn't talk the whole time they rode his moped home. When they got in the door, Soul growled irritably and threw himself down on the couch. Maka heard sobs. "you know that..." Soul's voice cracked. "you know that mutation that your father told you about, the one that lets male weapons bear children?"

"yeah." Maka said quietly.

"I have it." Soul said dully. "Stein said my internal organs were rearranging so that they're fertile." Souls voice just choked. "He said because the fluids are rearranging themselves its putting pressure on my bladder. Because I have to go more often I have to drink more."

Maka rocked back, like she'd been shocked. She sat Soul up and hugged him. And Soul just cried. "Cool guys don't cry."

"I won't tell anyone." Maka said gently. "I'm your Meister, you protect me in battle, the least I can do is comfort you when something is wrong. So go ahead and cry."

Soul went silent, body shaking as he sobbed into Maka's shoulder. "S... Stein's gonna do a body scan tomorrow with this new machine of his, c... can you come with me?"

"Sure." Maka told Soul with a gentle smile.

"SCYTHEYBOY!" Blair squealed, bounding up in cat form. "Y... you're crying..." Blair had been about to boob smoosh Soul, but she stopped at the foot of the couch, looking questioningly at Soul. Then she sniffed. "You smell strange between the legs, are you sick?" (2)

"I just got a shock today thats all Blair, do... do you mind staying in cat form tonight?" Soul started to dry his eyes. "I heard having a pet around helps relieve stress."

"Ooooooh, sure... poor baby... no booby smooshing tonight. Blair will give you kitty cuddles." Blair hopped up into Soul's lap, kneading his legs a bit with her claws before curling up in a ball. Soul hugged her tightly, and Blair purred soothingly.

Despite her outgoing and shameless demeanor, Blair knew when the /wrong/ time to smoosh Soul was. And she knew that Maka would be pissed off, possibly even in a chopping mood, if she smoosh hugged her partner while he was in that state. And she could feel that Soul was soothed by having a purring cat in his arms.

Maka walked around the corner to the kitchen, and sat down with her back to the wall. The tile felt cool beneath her legs, her fingers moving over the cracks in the grout. She took a deep breath, let it out, then another. Meister and weapon were two as one, clearly this was something deeply emotional for him. Maka wasn't sure what the future held for her partner. But she wasn't going to abandon him, not unless he actually wanted to leave.

Soul could hear Maka slump against the wall and the deep breathing she was trying to do. Her breath was shaky, and loud. Then he heard soft sobs from around the corner.

The tears came before Maka could stop them. The existential blues, the problem she /still/ had to confront /herself./ Her family wasn't what she thought it was. She cursed her father's extreme sensitivity to criticism and judgement. It WOULD have saved her a lot if he'd been a bit more bold and didn't /assume/ that something would be wrong with her if she grew up raised by two men. Yes, the statistics /said/ that girls grew up better with women around, and boys grew up better with men around. But still...

Soul whispered in Blair's ear, the cat nodded, hopping off his lap and wandering around the corner to Maka. Purrrrrrr... purrrrrrrr... purrrrrrrr... Blair purred and rubbed against Maka's side before pushing her head up under Maka's arm and snuggling against her. "Don't cry, Blair doesn't like tears... nyaaaa. I shed too many of them before I met you and Soul." Blair reached up to lick Maka's cheek.

"B... blair thanks... I've just got some issues I need to think about and... its really hard to understand them." Maka hugged the cat.

"Boy you and Soul are so full of the blues today. You should have Blackstar and Tsubaki come by." Blair smirked. "I know you like being held by her. I don't blame you, being held by someone really kind and sweet is very comforting when you have the blues."

"Thanks." Maka sighed. "But for now I'm more worried about Soul."

Chrona was worried about Kid, Maka, and Soul, his two favorite people weren't there. The hermaphrodite whined slightly as they changed classes.

"Its okay." Liz told Chrona. "We just have to put the finishing touches on our project okay? For survival class."

Chrona nodded, gulping down his worry. "Okay. We can surprise Kid-kun and Maka-chan."

"Yep." Patti said with a huge grin.

"Oh nooooo, there's another outing tomorrow!" Chrona started biting his nails.

"Oh yeah, we're going to New Orleans this weekend, urban survival in ruined parts of the city after the hurricane."

Chrona relaxed some. "That can't be too bad."

"Not quite, we've got boundaries saying where the test site is and we can't leave the testing area." Liz sighed. "If we do Sid will ambush the one who left, take their gear and make us rescue whoever it is. And Azusa will be watching."

Chrona shivered. "Azusa is scary sometimes. I know its just who she is but... I don't know how to deal with her getting angry."

"oh believe me, the other deathscythes don't know how to deal with her anger either except to cower in fear and wait for her to beat them up." Patti giggled. "She's a tough angry organized teacher and she's awesome that way." She said as they left the school for survival class.

Chrona smiled, and found a spot in the exact middle of their debris fort, right across from the entrance. He took a bit of charcoal and began to draw. "Hey Liz can you figure out some way to protect this drawing until Kid can see it?"

"Uh sure, I think I saw some extra plastic sheeting somewhere." Liz was struggling with a pulley they'd found, trying to hang a water cistern so that gravity could do the work for them. "What are you drawing?"

"You'll see." Chrona beamed.

Chrona drew a big ocean, and a little version of himself with his arm around Kid. The other hand held Maka's, and then Chrona started to add the others in their little group. "See? We may not be related by blood but I see you all as my family." Chrona blushed furiously for being so bold.

"awwwww." Patti squealed.

Azusa poked her head in in time to hear that. "Then you'll need this word Chrona." She took a piece of charcoal and drew the hiragana for "na-ka-ma."

"What does Nakama mean?" Chrona head tilted.

"it means people you think of as family but who aren't related to you by blood." Azusa replied. "If someone feels like family in your soul but aren't related to you, then thats Nakama." She sighed, thinking of her crazy misfit classmates.

"I like that." Chrona blushed. "Nakama."

"here." Azusa took a tarp from the pile of salvaged material and carefully hung it over the finished drawing. "Now i've set up a chalkboard, we're gonna learn visual signals so that you can tell someone where you are. You'll want notebooks, and I'll pass around hand wipes to clean your hands."

"Where is Kid?" Patti asked worriedly.

"He got sent home by Stein, his migranes are disrupting his schoolwork and he needs special medicine for them."

"But Stein's gonna do something about that right?" Liz asked. "If he's sick..."

"Stein is running tests, and Kid has an appointment tomorrow. Stein asked him if he wanted you two with him but he said he didn't want to interrupt your lessons because normal pain medicine isn't working for his headache."

"Alright."

When Liz came home that evening however, she'd barely set down her bag when she heard Chrona's yell of alarm and Kid's scream of rage, then a huge crash.

"I CAN'T GET IT SYMMETRICAL ENOUGH! NO FORGET THE ENOUGH! I CAN'T GET IT SYMMETRICAL PERIOD!"

Liz ran down the hall. Kid had shattered the picture he loved to straighten so much. Chrona was making small whining noises, curled up in a ball with a pillow between his knees and his chest. Kid was kicking the painting, snuffing out his candles and breaking them in half and gouging them with his fingers in a fit of rage.

"KID!" Liz yelled.

Kid looked up at his weapon, this look of utter frustration and agony in his eyes. "Liz... I think... I think there's something wrong with me. The ruler said the painting was symmetrical, but my brain said it wasn't. Even though my... even though my eyes... LIZ I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Kid broke down crying. "I've never had my brain contradict my eyes about symmetry before!"

"First, hug your boyfriend." Liz pointed to Chrona. "Who is crying his eyes out because you /scared/ him."

Kid nodded. "i'm sorry."

"Me too. I'll get some bath oil for you two from my stash, use the good bathroom while I clean this up." Liz told him. "For now, we're just going to leave the place where your arrangement should be empty. If a space is blank wall, then it can't be asymmetrical." she was fuming at Kid. "and WATCH your symmetry rants around Chrona! If I see you scare him like that again, I'll throw you to Maka's mercy!" Kid flinched as Liz slammed the door behind her and went to console Chrona.

/I think I'm going /insane/./ Kid thought to himself. /Not from Madness, but from my own personal hell./

1. Pandas patients can be asymptomatic for strep other than their psychiatric symptoms getting worse.

2. Cats can smell the hormone changes when someone is pregnant.