Totally Bizarre! (Welcome ladies and gents! …Actually…just ladies…because, seriously, how many guys do you see reading fanfiction?) - Edit: Apparently I had more male readers than I thought. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda: the Winder Waker. But if you thought I did, then I think you should see a doctor. I also don't own any blue fairies. Though I wish I did.

Cherry-sama: Greetings!

Link: You've got to be kidding me.

Cherry-sama: What?

Link: Haven't you written enough fanfics already? And how many of them have been completed?

Cherry-sama: Oh, shut up. People should be reading the fanfic, not the author's notes.

Link: Then why do you write them?

Cherry-sama: Shh!

What would happen if Cherry-sama decided to break format?
Wonder no more! Wait, WHAT? I'm sorry. I have no idea what she's on about…

(A tapestry flashed onto the screen.)

This is but one of the legends of which the people speak...

(What looked like a blue ball of light floated in front of the taspestry.)

Long ago, there existed a kingdom where a golden power lay hidden. It was a prosperous land blessed with green forests, tall mountains, and peace.

"Whoa," the blue ball said, "What am I doing here?"

Shut up, I'm doing the intro. Ahem. But one day, a man of great evil found the golden power and took it for himself. With its strength at his command, he spread darkness across the kingdom.

(A different tapestry flashed onto the screen.)

"Some intro," the ball huffed, "Are you being super ambiguous on purpose?"

Navi! Shut up for a second! If that's even possible…

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your boring monologue."

BUT THEN, when all hope had died, and the hour of doom seemed at hand... a young boy clothed in green appeared as if from nowhere. Wielding the blade of evil's bane, he sealed the dark one away and gave the land light.

"Wait, what?" the blue fairy, named Navi, blurted out, "That's not how it happened!"

(Another tapestry appeared on screen.)

This boy, who traveled through time to save the land, was known as the Hero of Time. The boy's tale was passed down through generations until it became legend...

"Passed down incorrectly, apparently," Navi huffed.

If you don't mind.

"But you're telling it wrong!" Navi said, "I was the Hero of Time! Not Link!"

(The fairy looked around.)

"Where is he, anyway?" Navi asked.

(A different tapestry covered the screen.)

But then... a day came when a fell wind began to blow across the kingdom. The great evil that all thought had been forever sealed by the hero...once again crept forth from the depths of the earth eager to resume its dark designs.

"What is this?" Navi asked "You're personal slideshow?"

THE PEOPLE believed that the Hero of Time would again come to save them... But the hero did not appear.

"Well, that's because I was in hibernation. Duh," Navi said.

If you don't mind.

"Yes I do."

Besides. Fairy hibernation? Who's ever heard of THAT before?

Navi looked at her fingernails, "Actually—"

FACED by an onslaught of evil, the people could do nothing but appeal to the gods. In their last hours, as doom drew nigh, they left their future in the hands of fate. What became of that kingdom? None remained who knew.

(Another tapestry flashed on screen.)

"So, when are you going to tell them that this is actually third in a series of fanfics?"

NAVI!

"What?"

Now look what you've done! You've scared all the readers away!

"Readers?" Navi blinked, "People actually want to read the crap you write?"

Oh, be quiet.

"Okay," Navi sighed, "Since the authoress is so intent on leaving you in the dust, I guess I'm going to have to explain everything."

No! Navi!

(Navi pointed to a speaker on the ceiling.)

"See that up there?" Navi asked, "That's the intercom. We are currently in a film studio, recording the fanfic based film called 'Totally Bizarre'. Now, this is where the narrator's voice comes from. This is actually hooked up to a sound proof office room somewhere in the studio."

Navi! Don't say anything more—

"However, she's actually been narrating for this series of fanfics, that she wrote, for quite some time," Navi continued, "But, she dropped this project after Totally Whacked sequel, and picked it up again, two years later."

Sure, go ahead. Tell them my whole life's story while you're at it.

"Anyway, as you can predict, the number of readers dropped dramatically," Navi sighed, "So, that's why she's trying to trick you guys into thinking that this is the first in the series, instead of the third."

BUT, since I technically killed off the main character in the previous fanfic's epilogue, you don't really need to read the other two to get 90% of the jokes in this fic.

"You 'technically' killed him off?" Navi raised an eyebrow, "How can you 'technically' kill someone off."

I killed the character, but I rehired the actor. He's one of the stunt doubles now! :D

"Uh-oh," Navi paused.

What?

"Nothing," Navi said.

Anyway, can I get back to my script?

"Fine."

Ahem. The memory of the kingdom vanished, but its legend survived on the wind's breath. On a certain island, it became customary to garb boys in green when they came of age.

(The sound of rustling papers came from the intercom on the ceiling.)

"And what is with those bolded and bracketed sections of text?" Navi asked, "Seriously, they're distracting."

It's so that if anyone ever ACTUALLY wants to make a movie based on my fanfics, they can easily change the narrative format to script format!

(Navi glared at the intercom.)

"You're lying," Navi said.

I'm not lying!

"Yes, you are."

No, I'm not.

"Oh come now."

Oh…oh… OKAY! FINE! The reason I have that bolded and bracketed format is because, even in it's early days, this fanfic has been directly based off the game's script. And I was too A.D.D. to change the descriptions from the bolded and bracketed format from the script my sister typed up!

"That's better."

(Silence.)

Clothed in the green of fields—

"So, now that you're older, why don't you just lose the format?"

Is it really that distracting?

"Yes."

Okay, fine. From now on, I shall ditch the bolded and bracketed sections, and just have them like regular text.

(Somewhere, the editor cheered.)

Okay, that last section didn't count.

Navi rolled her eyes, "Surrreeee…"

Ahem. Anyways…

"Can you get rid of those pesky chapter questions too?" Navi asked, "They ruin most of the good jokes."

Eh, sure. While I'm at it, might as well.

"Thank you."

Anyway, clothed in the green of fields, they aspired to find heroic blades and cast down evil. The elders wished only for the youths to know courage like the hero of legend...

"I wonder if anyone actually paid attention to the narration?"

Probably not.

Cherry-sama: Chapter one! And, I must say, it's good to be back! n.n

Navi: So, wait, is he the Ocarina of Time Link, or the Wind Waker Link?

Link: I'm the Ocarina of Time Link. The one that got hired as a stunt double.

Cherry-sama: I haven't hired the other guy yet. He'll arrive next chapter.

Navi: Ugh.

Link: What?

Navi: Remember what happened to the last stunt double?

Link: (is worried) No?

Cherry-sama: Hush! No Totally Messed or Totally Whacked related jokes!

Link: Ugh… Please review…