Chapter 6

When James returned to his dormitory later the next night, the lights were turned off and the three other boys had the scarlet curtains drawn around their beds. Someone was snoring—Remus, probably. Sighing, he kicked the trunk at the foot of his bed, wincing at the sharp pain it caused his toe. Okay, so kicking hard, heavy items wasn't a good idea.

He wondered, not for the first time, why he couldn't be like everyone else. Frank was always telling James how lucky he was, how everyone else would die to be born to such privilege. (James didn't think that made sense. First of all, how could you die to be born? And secondly, Frank wasn't exactly the most normal person in the wizarding world either. Regardless, he understood the point that his cousin was trying to make.) However, James' "privileges" so far had consisted of losing his father at the age of eight, gaining an overprotective mother, making three brilliant friends that he had to lie to, and finding out that Voldemort would Avada Kedavra half of the wizarding population if he didn't hand himself over by the time he entered his fifth year.

So, he could die a painful and bloody death at the age of fifteen, or he could be responsible for more lost lives.

It was his dad's fault. His dad…

Breathing deeply, he fell to his knees and started digging through his trunk. He impatiently pitched his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook across the room; it landed next to Sirius' bed with a bang. Extra robes, shirts, vests, ties, and pants sailed across the room, landing in scattered piles around the dormitory. The rest of his textbooks were soon thrown against one of the walls; his quills followed shortly thereafter, and his ink soaked a portion of the expensive carpet. Silent tears were running down his cheeks as he tore at the rest of the belongings… searching, wanting, longing…

And then there it was. An infamous token passed down from ruler to ruler for generations, starting with Godric Gryffindor himself. A family heirloom given to James by his father right before he closed his eyes for the last time. The medallion was said to be crafted by Salazar Slytherin himself and gifted to Gryffindor when the two of them were still close friends. Once, legend had it, Slytherin and Gryffindor had even considered themselves brothers. The medallion served as a cruel reminder of lost friendships, and freedom, and good versus evil. The sacrifice of doing what was right. The medallion's bittersweet reminder to each new ruler was clear: Put your country first, your friends second, and yourself last. Putting good over evil may come with many unwelcome sacrifices, but in the end you will triumph.

He reached for it slowly, slipping the golden chain over his knuckles and clinging to the medallion desperately. He closed his eyes tightly as if praying, letting all his tears escape as his chest heaved up and down with his deep breaths, trying to prevent the sobs.

Dad, he thought. Help me. No one else understands what it's like.

There was no answer. James would have been silly to expect one, but it was still a cruel reminder that there wouldn't ever be an answer from his father. Opening his eyes, James threw Gryffindor's medallion against the headboard of his four-poster bed with as much force as he could muster. He wanted the medallion to shatter into a million tiny pieces… he wanted it to disappear, along with all the responsibility it symbolized. It hit the headboard with a soft cling and gently landed on James' pillow.

Somehow, the action made James feel a little calmer. He never noticed his new, dark-haired friend peering around the curtains and staring at him concernedly.

"James," Sirius whispered. Somehow, Remus and Peter hadn't woken up when James started pitching all his belongings around the room.

James jumped, staring at Sirius like a deer caught in headlights. He got so carried away, that he hadn't even thought about his friends waking up. How stupid.

"Are you alright, mate?" Sirius frowned, sliding off his bed easily and walking toward James. He was giving James a look which seemed to suggest that he thought his friend had gone absolutely mental, and James couldn't blame him. He looked at Sirius guiltily.

"I… yeah, I'm fine," he lied. James flopped down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. His eyes stung. He forced himself not to blink. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

"Bullshit," Sirius replied levelly, rolling his eyes. No one just decided to pitch all his belongings all over the room in the middle of the night because he was fine. "And I'm Merlin—"

And I'm the king of England, James thought about shooting back. But with his luck, something would click in Sirius' mind, and he'd believe him. Although, would that really be a bad thing?

"If something is wrong, you can tell me."

After several moments of awkward silence passed, Sirius sat down on his own bed and tried a new tactic. "My dad," he said, staring at the ground dejectedly. "Likes to practice the Cruciatus on me. He says…"

He trailed off, sounding for a second as if he was going cry. Then he laughed bitterly. "That Black men have to be tough. We know what real torture is, and we learn to embrace it. Thrive on it. But mostly, we learn our place. And we learn what happens to people who dare to tarnish the family name."

"You mean…"

"I'm not going to judge you," Sirius told James. "Whatever happened, it can't be… it can't be your fault. Is it about your dad?"

James slowly sat up, speechless. "… my dad?" he asked shakily.

If Sirius could tell that James had been crying, he didn't say anything. "You said he died," Sirius reminded James, coming to sit on the bed next to him. "So… is that what's bothering you?"

James wanted to tell Sirius everything. He wanted his first friend to be able to trust him completely. But, real life wasn't that simple. He closed his eyes and swallowed, hoping that one day Sirius would be able to forgive him.

"Yeah," James said softly. "That's it."

It wasn't a total lie.

Maybe it was because he understood that what James really needed was a distraction, or maybe it was because they had only known each other for a few days, but Sirius respected that James didn't want to talk about his father. Instead, Sirius had grinned and led him down to the common room. They collapsed on the plush couches in front of the fireplace for hours, and Sirius started talking a mile a minute about pranking, the ridiculous essay they had to write Potions, and pretty much anything and everything else that wasn't personal. Eventually, James was able to loosen up a bit, too.

James hadn't done much pranking (his mother thought such things were nonsense), but Sirius definitely had. He liked to slip dungbombs in his little brother's room, and once he'd even stolen his father's wand and bewitched his mother's mirror. For a week, the mirror had insulted her every time it saw her and called her nasty names.

"I've always had a fondness for mirrors, you know," Sirius had said with a roguish grin as James laughed at his story.

"Did your parents ever find out that you were the one who cursed the mirror?" James had asked curiously.

A stormy look had crossed Sirius' face as he replied. "Yeah. Yeah, they did. So, I'm thinking that maybe tomorrow night, we can sneak out and try to get into the Slytherin common room. My cousin Narcissa is in Slytherin, and she'd freak if I cursed her mirror. Then I still have all those dungbombs I told you about..."

James hadn't asked how Sirius' parents punished him. But from the look on Sirius' face, and the abrupt way he'd changed the subject, James knew it had been bad. Still, Sirius respected his privacy. It was only fair that he did the same.

Yet despite the secrets that both of them were carefully guarding, both boys trusted each other fully from that moment onward. It felt like they'd been best friends for years.

And for the first time in a long time, James was able to feel like he was just another eleven-year-old kid.

James and Sirius finally returned to their dormitories around five in the morning. Sirius threw a pillow at James as he collapsed on his bed with a yawn, and James rolled his eyes.

"That wasn't very wise," he informed Sirius levelly.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, and the corners of his mouth rose in mirth. "Oh, yeah?"

"You're entirely unaware of who you're messing with," James continued, managing to keep a completely indifferent expression on his face.

Sirius snorted and rolled over on his stomach, kicking his feet back and forth in the air. "Ooh, I'm scared."

"As you should be," James replied seriously. Then he looked Sirius straight in the eyes, and allowed the smallest hint of a smile to be seen on his face. "You must have forgotten..." he trailed off dangerously, lifting the pillow with a flourish. "I'm a Chaser."

He launched the pillow at Sirius, hitting him on the side of his head.

"What are you going to do?" Sirius laughed, immediately sitting up and practically swinging off his bed. He was now holding the pillow, slowly walking toward James. James quickly back-stepped and removed his own pillow from his bed. "Beat me up with pillows? Ha."

Then the boys attacked each other with the pillows, laughing loudly, before abandoning the pillows completely and fighting Muggle-style. Somehow, they ended up next to one of the other beds and Sirius gave James a particularly strong shove forward.

"Mmmf!" Remus protested, arms flailing as James landed on top of him. "You two—crazy… five in the morning…" he gasped, roughly knocking James off of him.

James, caught off-guard by Remus' strength (seriously, Remus didn't look like he could be that strong), fell to the ground with a loud thud. Sirius' eyes lit up in amusement as James grabbed onto Remus' bed and pulled himself upright.

"Sorry," Remus apologized blearily, rubbing at his temples as he sat up in bed. "I didn't—"

"Merlin, Remus," James cut in, staring at his friend bemusedly. "How did you get so strong?"

"What are you, a girl?" Sirius snickered, although he was looking at Remus curiously.

"No, I'm being serious. Hit him, Remus."

"… what?"

"Nice best mate you are," Sirius told James, shoving his shoulder. They both grinned, and James shoved Sirius back.

Remus stared at them with wide eyes. He had this odd expression on his face that James couldn't quite figure out, and then—

"So, are you going to hit me or not?" Sirius asked Remus, tapping his foot impatiently. "Hurry up, make up your mind. I'm hungry."

"… completely mental, those two," Remus muttered under his breath.

That's how Professor McGonagall found them when she opened the door to their dormitory, with an oddly soft expression on her face. "Mr. Lupin," she began, before any of the boys had time to properly react to their Head of House randomly appearing in their dormitory. "Get dressed and meet me in my office. Quickly. Mr. Longbottom will escort you."

"Yes, professor," Remus replied, confused. He started digging through his trunk, hastily producing his Hogwarts robes.

Sirius snickered and winked at James. "Ooh, Remus is in trouble…"

Professor McGonagall, who had started to exit the room, whirled around and fixed Sirius with a sharp look. "Mr. Black," she said sternly, glaring at him with angry eyes. "That will be enough. Twenty points from Gryffindor."

"Merlin, I didn't even—"

"Twenty-five points."

"That's not even—"

As Sirius ribbed Remus, and then argued with McGonagall, James grew cold with realization. Frank was escorting Remus to McGonagall's office. Longbottom Manor had been attacked last night. On the train, Remus had told James and Sirius that his mother was a gardner for the Longbottoms…

James elbowed Sirius in the side roughly. "Shut up," he ordered him, not really caring who he was interrupting. He felt like he was going to be sick. He had an idea as to what Remus' meeting could be about, but Remus was going to be completely caught off-guard. He only hoped Remus' mother was alive. "Leave Remus alone."

Much to James' astonishment, Sirius did shut up. "Fine, be a party pooper," he shrugged as McGonagall glanced at James. James avoided her gaze.

"Mr. Longbottom," she addressed Remus gently, opening the door and preparing to leave. "Is waiting for you in the common room."

"Longbottom," Sirius mused as he, James, and Peter (whom they had finally managed to wake up, after dropping missiles of water balloons on him) made their way down to the Great Hall. "What business does Remus have with Frank Longbottom?"

"His mother works as a gardner at their estate," James reminded Sirius, surprised by how calm his voice sounded. Poor Remus…

"Oh, yeah," Peter quickly jumped on board.

"So? The Longbottoms have hundreds—maybe thousands—of people working for them. That doesn't mean a bloody thing," Sirius countered.

If only you knew, James thought sadly.

"True," Peter piped up, now instantly siding with Sirius. Sirius, breaking away from the subject for a moment, snorted and rolled his eyes at James as if to say: How did we get stuck with him?

James shrugged. Peter remained oblivious.

As they arrived in the Great Hall, they were greeted by the delicious aromas of blueberry and strawberry muffins, pancakes, syrup, and bacon. The Hogwarts food was so good and plentiful that it was almost like eating a meal at Gryffindor Castle—only with much better company.

Well, except for the Slytherins.

"Hello, cousin," a sixth or seventh year girl greeted Sirius coldly, gracefully approaching him. She had long, light blonde hair that was pinned back with a simple (but obviously very expensive) barrette and she wore Slytherin robes.

"Narcissa," Sirius spat. The curious expression that had been on his face when he talked about Remus was now replaced by a look of pure loathing.

"I see," she began, rudely gesturing to James and Peter, "that you've been busy befriending commoners. Your father will not approve of this."

James had never bragged about his status to anyone—not to any of the servants, or Frank, or anyone else. But as he stood there, listening to Narcissa berate Sirius for hanging out with commoners, he really had to resist retorting with something snappy. It's not that he had anything against commoners, or was insulted because Narcissa had assumed he was one; it was just the fact that the expression on her face would be priceless. Sirius' family obviously thought they were better than everyone else, and that really irked James.

"Aren't we commoners?" Sirius pointed out, annoyed. If he'd had more than a day of Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, he probably would have cursed her. As It was, he looked like he was considering tackling her Muggle-style.

His gray eyes pierced her blue ones. Narcissa was seething. "You should know," she informed Sirius haughtily, "that the Black do not need an official title to be royalty. We are—"

"Good-for-nothing gits?"

"—one of the oldest—"

"Smelliest."

"—infamous—"

"Cruelest."

"-influential-"

"Prejudiced."

"-revered-"

"Pathetic. Arrogant. Sleazy."

"… families in the wizarding world! Everyone knows who we are. People look up to us. You are ruining everything."

"Actually," Sirius replied, suddenly cheerful as he realized most of the students in the Great Hall were watching them. Oh, how he loved making his family look like a bunch of loons. "Our fathers did that, when they tortured and killed innocent Muggles and were banished from the court. Or maybe you forgot?"

I'm glad Dad banished them, James contemplated, gazing at Narcissa in disgust.

"You," Narcissa hissed at her cousin, "will pay for this. Mark my words."

She spun around over-dramatically, her elegant robes swirling around her, and stalked off. Sirius rolled his eyes and waved her off.

"Yeah, yeah," he added pleasantly, "have a nice day!"

They could hear Narcissa's scowl, and see all the dirty looks that most of the other Slytherins were now sending their way, but Narcissa did not turn around. Sirius grinned smugly at his victory and led James and Remus to a place near the end of the Gryffindor table.

"So," Sirius said bitterly, piling his plate with pancakes. "You've met my cousin."

"Lovely relatives," James remarked sarcastically. He craned his neck to get a better view of the entrance to the Great Hall, nervously waiting to see if Remus would join them. If Remus came down for breakfast afterwards, James decided, his mum was probably fine. If not…

"Hey, look!" Peter broke in, pointing upwards excitedly. "The mail's here!"

Indeed, hundreds of owls had just started circling the Great Hall, searching for their recipients. One by one, it seemed, students at the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff tables gasped as they received their letters and packages; their previously happy, carefree expressions were replaced by horrified, pale ones. As the students got over the shock, silent tears began to run down some of their faces. Many of the older Slytherins were smirking in satisfaction.

James' stomach dropped. He was willing to bet his father's old broomstick that he knew exactly what this was about. As Peter received his copy of The Daily Prophet, James' suspicions were confirmed:

LONGBOTTOM MANOR ATTACKED

by Persephone Hopkirk

Gryffindor Castle has confirmed that Longbottom Manor, current residence of Protector of the Crown David Longbottom, and childhood home of Queen Mother Dorea, was attacked by supporters of He Who Must Not Be Named yesterday evening. Lord and Lady Longbottom were both unharmed, as was Frank Longbottom (now a fifth year at Hogwarts). Many others, however, were not quite as lucky. At last count 40 people were seriously injured and 84 were dead. Around 30 members of the Longbottom staff and 15 Aurors remain unaccounted for. The death toll is expected to rise as the search and rescue mission continues.

Gryffindor Castle has not yet confirmed if You Know Who himself was present at the attack yesterday. More details to follow.

"Blimey," Sirius whispered hoarsely. Both James and Sirius had been reading the headline over Peter's shoulder.

"Yeah," James added unhelpfully, his voice quiet.

Longbottom Manor had, for so many years, been a symbol of hope when You Know Who first began his rise to power about ten years ago. For so long the Light side had been triumphing over the evil, almost always winning the battles against Lord Voldemort and his followers, but now the Dark had claimed their biggest victory. Not only did Voldemort prove that he was powerful enough to break through the intricate wards and powerful Aurors guarding the home of one of the most prominent, Light families in the world, but he also sent a very clear message: No one is safe. No one on the opposing side is to be spared.

There was no doubt that Voldemort had ordered his Death Eaters to kill or capture any of the Longbottoms that they could. It was a happy coincidence that David and his wife were not home at the time, and Frank was of course at Hogwarts.

"That's why Remus is with Frank," Peter finally pointed out sadly.

James stared at his plate dejectedly. Even though he'd learned about the attack last night, being around all of these upset students made it really hit him. Longbottom Manor really was gone and along with it, so were many good people. Shaking in anger, he shoved his plate away and snatched Peter's copy of The Daily Prophet, rereading it again.

Like James, Sirius' expression was angry. His eyes were hard and determined as he glared at his family at the Slytherin table. "I swear," he promised no one in particular. "If I found out they had anything to do with this, I will kill them myself."

"Let it go, Sirius," James spoke up, although he too shot a glare at the Slytherins. He returned the newspaper to Peter and placed a hand on Sirius' arm, forcing him to look away from his family. "We can't go blowing up your family yet, mate. We'd just get killed, too, and they'd take satisfaction in that."

"I don't care. If they killed Remus' mum—"

"We'll get them back later," James promised. And he meant it. "Just wait. One day, there will be hell to pay."

Despite the situation, Sirius couldn't help but smile slightly. James didn't know why, but Sirius seemed to believe him completely. "I guess we wouldn't help Remus by getting ourselves killed, too. But they will die one day. And in the meantime, I have some itching powder upstairs…"

"And those dungbombs, still," James pointed out with a snort.

"How," a redheaded girl to Peter's left interjected pompously. "Can you be joking around after this? Don't you two have any idea who the Longbottoms—"

"We're not joking around!" Sirius glared at the annoying girl. "We're planning revenge. We can't do anything to stop what already happened, but we can—"

"Shh!" Peter hissed, elbowing Sirius.

He was gazing at the entrance to the Great Hall in some strange mixture of awe and sympathy. The entire Great Hall, even the Slytherins, were utterly silent as Frank Longbottom himself made his way to the Gryffindor table. Frank refused to meet anyone's eyes, both uncomfortable with all the attention (even if he should have been used to it by now) and saddened. He kept his gaze on the floor until he reached his regular place at the table, sitting down next to Alice. She smiled at him comfortingly and he wearily returned it, before beginning to idly poke at his food.

"Aww," Lucius Malfoy sneered, breaking the Slytherin's silence. "Longbottom looks like a lost puppy. How pathetic."

At once, Frank was on his feet, glaring daggers at Malfoy. "You," he spat in a tone James had never heard his cousin use before. "Should mind who you're speaking to."

Lucius snorted. Confrontation had never been one of Frank's strong points. "As I recall," he said with a too-pleasant smile. "The Malfoys are actually ranked higher than the Longbottoms. Maybe you should—"

"Were," Frank interjected. "The Malfoys were ranked higher than the Longbottoms. But do you really think I was talking about that? I don't understand how you—"

"My father should have gotten the job," Lucius interrupted Frank again, completely ignoring the other boy's comments. "With King Charlus' only son only eight years old at the time, and no other close relatives, my father was next."

"So that's what this is all about," Frank glared. "You and your Death Eater friends attacked our family home because you were hoping to eliminate everyone in the way of your father's crown. Well, the crown doesn't work like that, you idiot. Protector of the Crown doesn't go to the next-highest ranking member of nobility. It goes to someone that is close to the future king and capable of doing the job. Your father, I'm afraid, is neither."

"You—"

"Enough."

Everyone turned to watch as the Headmaster and the rest of the professors entered the Great Hall together, followed by a handful of children. With a sickening feeling in his stomach, James glanced around the room at all the empty seats at the house tables (mainly Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff) and realized that Remus probably wasn't the only one who had a parent working for the Longbottoms. The professors were probably late for breakfast because they had been talking to all of the students.

"A great tragedy has befallen our world today," Professor Dumbledore began sadly as Frank and Lucius, still glaring at each other, took their seats. "Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters have murdered many innocent people to try to get us to give up, but we will not. As long as you are at Hogwarts, you are safe. In the meantime, remember those people who lost their lives fighting him. Remember peace and love and goodness. When the time comes, do not ever give up. Always know that no matter how dark a situation seems, there is always a light at the end."

James had a feeling that the Slytherins' parents wouldn't approve of Dumbledore's speech, but the rest of the school clapped respectfully, grim but determined expressions on their faces. Perhaps James would have cheered for Dumbledore, too, if a horrible realization hadn't just hit him.

Remus was not among the many students who had come to the Great Hall with Dumbledore.

AN: SO, I've had a massive headache for the past few days and I'm not sure if this is as good as it possibly could be. But, after much contemplation, I finally decided to just finish and post it. Next chapter should be up within the week! Do leave a review. (Also: Lily and Snape should be in the next chapter a lot. They were supposed to be in this one, but it got a bit long...)