The Better Ending To Twilight

Edward stared dreamily into Jacob's eyes. Jacob stared back like a dazing idiot. Edward's heart would be pounding in his chest, going a million miles an hour, it not for the fact it was a useless, cold, shrivelled lump in his rib cage. Edward wanted to scream it out now and shout it out from the top of the world.

But no, he can't, not with his adopted family busily immersing themselves in their own business. Alice, prancing around with the grace of a fairy and flowers in her arm, Jasper, looking as if he were in pain AGAIN, Reneseme with her emo music, Emmett, screaming "Go, Afganistan, GOOOO!" and chucking priceless ornaments at the half dead TV. No, Edward couldn't say it now. It would too embarressing.

He sighed discouragingly and broke off his gaze from Jacob, walking away. Jacob was heartbroken yet again, with the "Lost Puppy" expression. Edward went upstairs, passing by their bedroom, where Bella sang dreamily to the poster of Justin Bieber over their vampire coffins. She had the serious, deadly, inescapable case of the "Bieber Fever" epidemic.

Symptoms include looking at his face, singing to face, both with a dreamy face and an uncontrollable infatuation with the stupid baby himself! No such cure has been recovered. If Carlisle were here, he'd said or done a thing or two, but, he and Esme were in mexico, treating the outbreak of H1N1 in sombreros and such.

Edward paused in front of the wall and knelt down, cursing his wimpy cowardness. Why can't I do it! Why can't I express how much he means to me! Why? I was all brave meeting Voldemort, mere seconds from my death! But why not now? Edward rested his forehead on the wall briefly before pulling his head back in a flash and smashing it into the wall. Naturally, cracks appear in the smooth plaster as vampire noggins are as tough as plummeting meteorites. How hard is it to confess! To "come out of the closet"?

Edward stayed there until he couldn't take it anymore. Gathering all of his measley courage and he "valiantly" stormed downstairs like the arrogant ass he is. Locating Jacob, Edward stormed towards him and took a deep breath, falling onto his knees so dramatically that you'd think this was a play.

"Oh, Jacob, I've been longing to tell you something, eversince I saw your doo doo coloured eyes, that you are my one and only. I'd give anything under the heavens to be with you, and nothing can tear me apart from you, because I LOVE YOU! I want to spend the rest of my existance with you! Will you marry me, Taylor Laut- Oh erm, Jacob Black?"

Tears begun accumulating in Jacob's eyes and streaming down his furry face. "Oh Edward, what about Bella?"

"Who cares about that -Insert bad word here-""... I've been waiting forever for you to say that." Jacob gasped, falling to his knees as well and became VERY involved with Edward.

Everyone was silent, with their jaws dropped literally to the ground, espescially Bella's. Said silence continued, with the exception of Edward and Jacob's sounds of their little lustful acts. Alice then broke the silence by saying, "I kinda saw that coming..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything associated with it... (thank god)