Title: Lies & Confessions

Summary: As he observes his son at the dinner table after his heartfelt confession, Frank knows that something else is troubling. But with his 'secret lie' there is only one person Jamie can turn to in confession. Post-Ep 1.08 'Chinatown'

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Blue Bloods.

A/N: But what another great eppy. So happy to see Kelly back and now I hope they build on that moment from the beginning *sigh*. She's great opposite Frank and I love her spitfire personality and yes I think her grilling him is just a rouse.

"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy."

"I'm out, you'll need to find yourself another guy."

"Don't tell me you're getting into this on your own."

"I'm taking the job in London Jamie."

"You better hope we find the red headed tourist to back your story."

After dinner was over, Jamie politely excuses himself from the rest of the group and slowly heads into a quieter part of the house. After the IAB investigation had wrapped he wanted nothing more than to get in the Chevy SS and drive; destination unknown. But he was a Reagan, and Reagan's never quit much less ran from anything.

He reaches Joe's old room, slowly pushes the door open and for a split second smiles involuntarily as his brother's image appears, smiles and then quickly fades.

"Wish you were here," Jamie sighs as he heads into his deceased brother's room and slumps down on the small guest bed. After Joe had moved out, the room was modestly decorated for others to stay in, Joe's personal effects had long since disappeared. But his essence was still in the room; a place Jamie always took comfort in.

"Need some help," Jamie he huffs as he looks around the sparsely decorated room. "I'm uh…well I think in over my head," he starts in a low tone.

"The FBI wants my help but uh…well there was this case…started a few nights back. I met with my contact…well I told them I would go on my own. I don't want to be labeled a 'rat' and I know how these things come out."

Jamie's weary frame offers another tormented sigh as he finally eases himself all the way onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling with an absent expression.

"Thing is…I told them no."

"I'm out…find yourself another guy."

Jamie's mind snaps out of his memory when he was in Chinatown and his brow furrows. "Then the case started and I thought that was it. But…well during my hearing I…well I told them I was meeting with a tourist, a red-headed tourist looking for directions to buy some designer stuff. It was a lie."

Jamie feels his stomach instantly tighten when the word 'lie' passes his lips. But it wasn't a total lie, he had reasoned in his mind. His contact did have red hair and she said she was going to do some shopping on Canal street.

"Joe I had no choice," Jamie offers in soft torment. "Never been on the hot seat before. But I uh…well I knew if I told them I was meeting with the FBI I would have been in even bigger trouble. So I lied."

"Witnesses saw you earlier talking to a woman with red hair. Can you tell me who that is?"

"You kidding?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?...red heads stick out in that neighborhood."

"Next thing I knew I was makin' somethin' up."

"She was a tourist, she was looking to buy some designer knockoff stuff. And I pointed her toward Canal street."

"Leave no stone unturned."

"So after that I left with…well a sinking feeling and for the first time since I took the oath thinking I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I talked to dad about the part of the case were I lept before I looked but...but I couldn't tell him the truth about why I was really down there. Danny either. So this whole case I was screwed you know. Just wondering wha I was gonna do and...but if you were here. Danny would kick my ass if he found out I lied to IAB...dad to."

Jamie closes his eyes and then automatically fast forwards through the case to the final time he faced IAB in that stuffy interrogation room.

"So there I was…sitting in the room and wondering what the hell was going on. Then they said they found the woman to corroborate my story. The tourist. What the hell? I mean I had made it up," Jamie groans as he opens his eyes.

"So the woman you were seen talking about the night in question has come forward."

"She has?"

"Let's see what she has to say."

"That's when I knew they had me. They had just given me the trump card to set me free. My FBI contact came forward with what I needed. She uh…damn she told them about the shopping and the street directions; mentioned Canal Sreet by name and made up a story about the knockoffs. Was the damn room bugged? They knew I had covered their ass so they did that for me? Is that it? Will they want something more from me?"

"Officer Reagan helped me and uh…when I saw the article in the paper I wanted to return the favor."

"I'm screwed right?"

Jamie hears a noise outside the bedroom and immediately sits up and briefly holds his breath until the heavy footsteps of his father passes by.

"I can't tell anyone about this Joe. Danny would kick my ass for keeping this to myself and dad…I mean he's the commissioner now and the last thing he needs is heat from the FBI investigating something that he…well all of us could be involved in. I uh…damn it I don't know what to do. I already put him on the front page of the newspaper in a bad way, what would this do?"

He allows some silence to pass before his body extols a heavy sigh again. "Wish you could tell me what to do."

"Jamie?" Frank's voice is heard, breaking his thoughts in an instant as he pushes the door open.

"Hey dad," Jamie quickly sits upright.

"Thought I'd find you here," he says in a soft tone as he slowly wanders into the bedroom and slowly eases his tall frame down beside his sons.

"You okay?" Frank inquires.

"Yeah I uh…I just needed some time to myself you know," Jamie answers with a small smirk. "Just to think."

"Been an exciting couplea days," Frank states as he studies his son's side profile. "You came through the IAB investigation okay."

"Never want another of those."

"Yeah they aren't a fun party if you are on the receiving end," Frank mentions in truth.

"Have you ever been through any?"

"A few. One that even involved your grandfather."

"Really?" Jamie asks in wonder.

"Much to my surprise, he just told me," Frank admits with a heavy sigh. "I guess much like he worried about me but had to step back I had to do the same. But am proud that you told the truth and came out on top. You had worried earlier if you did the right thing. You did and should be proud."

'Told the truth.'

"Thanks dad," Jamie answers with a small frown, his eyes quickly looking back down at his hands. "I guess I am."

"What is it son? If you are worried about your record…"

"No it's not that."

"Because your name and record are both impeccable once again. And don't worry about the press," Frank explains. "Tomorrow it will be something else and we'll both be old news."

"I hit the jackpot," Jamie remembers the words that Frank told him from earlier.

"Well this time it all worked out," Frank smirks. "Course I did like the word 'top cop' this time around instead of Commissioner," Frank admits putting Jamie's mind at ease for a few seconds. "You came to me a few days ago, even then you had something else on your mind. I could tell. I know it wasn't just the case. Wanna talk about it now? Still about the case?"

Jamie looks at his father, his mind and heart both racing a mile a second; his stomach tight. All his life, he and his siblings were always able to approach their father with anything; either good or bad. But usually those times affected them and their personal lives, but this would affect his father. I can't tell you, Jamie's mind laments as his fists tighten.

"Jamie? You know you can tell me anything right?"

"Syd's gone," Jamie finally confesses as his fingers slowly reach into the inner pocket of his jeans and pull out the beautiful engagement ring.

"When is she coming back?" Frank asks in hope.

"She's not."

Frank feels his heart sink as he hears his son offer a heavy sigh. Right in the middle of one of the toughest situations of his son's life and young NYPD career his fiancé up and leaves.

"I can't change who I am dad. I meant every word of that confession at supper."

"I know you did son and I'm sorry," Frank sighs as his hand rests on the back of his youngest son. "What did she say?"

"Well she told me the other day that she was worried that I'd end up like that female officer or Joe…you know killed in the line of duty and…well we argued but it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before," Jamie sighs as his eyes fix on the ring that his fingers are still fiddling with. "But I never thought she'd just spring it on me like this; you know her leaving and all."

"Where is she going?"

"London."

"She might come back."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then she wasn't the one Jamie. But I can't make that call, only you can."

"How did you know mom was the one?"

"She never left," Frank answers firmly. "I had given her, I'm sure many occasions, plenty of reasons to leave, but she didn't."

"But I mean at the start?" Jamie presses.

"She never doubted us. Right from the start I had her full support. Just like Danny has Linda's and Joe had Angela. So if things don't mend with Sydney, you'll find one and when you do, you'll know and you'll have a long and happy life just like Danny does and I had."

"I hope so," Jamie sighs as he looks up and offers his father a weak smile. "Just sucks you know."

"Yeah I know."

"So speaking of girls…do you ever…"

"What?"

"Well I mean…you dating, it's uh…" Jamie's voice trails off into a small smirk. "Okay nevermind."

"Gee thanks," Frank deadpans.

"Well you're my dad. I mean you know your parents dated and…well you know but…"

"But it's complicated," Frank sighs.

"So there is one?"

"Just saying it would be complicated and not sure if I need that."

"Not if it's the right one right?" Jamie counters.

"How are you Frank? I miss you…I know I screwed up."

"Think enough time has passed?" Frank ponders as he looks down at his own hand that still carries his wedding band.

"I think we all want you to be happy," Jamie admits warmly. "Mom would have wanted that."

"Maybe I'm too old."

"Nowadays?" Jamie counters with a slight chuckle.

"You sound like Erin," Frank smiles.

"Yeah I guess she does rub off on us from time to time. Don't tell her okay?"

"No," Frank agrees as his hand rests on his son's back again. "I uh…have to make a call. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Jamie shrugs. "You mind if I stay here tonight? First night alone and…well I don't want to…you know go back there right now."

"Course you can. Stay in this room if you want," Frank says as he pushes himself up and heads for the door. He pauses and then turns back to Jamie with a wondering glace. "Anything else?"

"Don't tell Danny," Jamie smirks, forcing Frank's face to soften.

"Scouts honor," Frank teases as he closes the door and heads for his own larger bedroom.

This case has had brought to light a few new situations that he had hoped his youngest son would not have to face this early in his career. He was counting on Jamie to be the last Reagan of his direct line in office; Danny's son's he wasn't sure about their future as Linda also has a hand in shaping it. And although he knows she's supportive of her husband he also knows how hard it was to watch one brother bury another and had voiced her own personal confession that she wasn't sure one of her sons could bear to do that to the other.

But as he closes the door to his own bedroom he can't help but wonder what else besides Sydney's ill-timed confession about her leaving Jamie was all that was bothering his youngest son. But it wasn't his right, even as father, to pry into his son's life if he wasn't offering anything. He would just have to wait and hope that Jamie came out on top like he and Danny had done; Joe was always assured his place in the Reagan's stellar line.

Frank reaches for his phone and dials, his heart rate slightly elevated as he settles himself into a well-used Queen Anne sitting chair.

'Was hoping you'd call,' Kelly's voice whispers in his ear. 'Hope I didn't grill you too hard at the conference.'

"You didn't arouse suspicion," Frank answers with a small smile.

'I meant what I said Frank. I miss you…I miss us…the time we spend together.'

"I was thinking about that."

'And what conclusion did you come to?'

"That I am free for dinner tomorrow night and I'm wondering if you are?"

'Name the place and I'll be there ten minutes before you,' she teases, a small bout of musical laughter instantly warming his soul. 'So how's Jamie? Glad it all worked out.'

"He's a fighter, he pulled through and came out on top."

'He's his father,' she confesses warmly. 'You should be proud.'

"I am. And thank you for the fair coverage after it was over."

'Well I have to slip sometimes,' she replies with a smile he can see over the phone. 'You are after all the city's Top Cop,' she exclaims proudly. 'So it was all the truth.'

"I miss you," Frank finally admits with a small smile. "And that's the truth."

THE END!

A/N: Again this eppy had so much to draw from but instead of Danny/Linda this time I went with this b/c felt that Jamie just had so much to get rid of and not sure how they'll deal with it but hope you all still like it and please leave me a thought before you go. And yes I just had to end with my Frank and Kelly and so happy they are back on next week so I can get back to my F/K stuff ":D Thanks again!

PS: Remember to stop by my Blue Bloods forum and discuss this eppy with fellow fans.

PSS: Hostage concludes this week