"A-ah…L-Ludwig, p-please…t-touch me more…"

"TAKE THAT, ALIEN SCUM!"

"Here…?"

"PEW PEW! CAPTAIN, THE LASERS AREN'T EFFECTIVE! THEY'RE BOUNCING RIGHT OFF!"

"Ah! S-Sì! M-More, please…!"

"SHIT! I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO SETTLE THIS LIKE REAL MEN, MANO E MANO!"

"F-Feliciano…"

"HIYA! TAKE THAT, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"

"H-Haa, L-Ludwig, Ludwig, please…!"

"OH, ROUND-HOUSE KICK TO THE FACE, GOOD ONE, HUGH! NOW, LET'S GIVE HIM THE FINISHING BLOW!"

"Feliciano…I-I…really can't do this…"

It wasn't uncommon that the two would find themselves tangled together and naked on the couch, hips grinding against each other and tongues exploring, taken away into a world of lust in an instant.

"OY, THERE'S MORE COMING FROM THE BACK!"

And usually the rest of the world didn't matter…but in this case…

"Eh, L-Ludwig, why?" The Italian panted, whining as the German sat up and pulled up his pants, a bright flush of his own on his face. "I-It felt so good, doesn't Ludwig want to do it with me?"

"SHIT, DOUBLE SHIT! WE'RE SURROUNDED, I DON'T KNOW IF MY FISTS CAN PUNCH THESE MANY ALIENS!"

"I-It's not that…it's just…" The blond pointed to the TV screen, palm hitting his forehead at the movie playing on the screen. "This movie is just...too much." He could almost feel his intelligence drain from his body with every new horribly scripted line.

"AAAARGH! DAMN YOU! FILTHY GREYS! TAKE THIS! HAAAAAAAAAA!"

This was the last time he would ever take a film suggestion from Alfred.

The still very much in need Italian clung to the German's side, rubbing his chest against his skin and nibbling at his earlobe, moaning and panting to get his point across. "L-Ludwig, but Ludwig…! I still need you!"

"AH! I THINK THIS CALLS FOR ONE LAST DITCH ATTEMPT AT VICTORY! FOR GLORY, MEN!"

A delicious tremble still managed to work its way down Ludwig's spine, but the very…unadulterated terribleness of the film had successfully distracted him from his lust. "But this movie is so…unbelievable. It's horribly written and horribly filmed." He watched as a man did a backflip, kicking one of the aliens in the face, and inwardly shuddered.

"I THINK WE HAVE THEM ON THE RUNS! ALRIGHT, A GROUP ASSAULT, NOW! HYAAAAH!"

"Ludwiiiig…" The German was almost impervious to the line of kisses the Italian was trailing down his neck, still watching in horror at the battle unfolding in front of him, brows furrowed and mind whirling with every new fallacy in plot.

"GO MEN! GO, FOR THE FLAG!"

"It's set on Uranus, there is no possible way that they could be fighting without some sort of protective barrier—nngh!"

But even the horrid film couldn't distract Ludwig from the lithe fingers around his still-hardened erection, massaging him in a way that could only make a low moan rumble from his chest.

"ALRIGHT, MEN, THE FINAL BLOW!"

Feliciano crawled into Ludwig's lap, hand steadily pumping his erection and lips hungrily eating at the blond's, managing to pout against them. "There are…o-only a few t-things I-I can think of doing with…Uranus and mine…and one of those is in my h-hand, currently!"

"FOR VICTORY! AAAAAAARGH!"

It didn't take long for the movie to be completely banished from Ludwig's mind; he grasped the Italian's wrists and pushed him back onto the couch cushions with a growl, tongue and teeth finding the man's neck as hips began to grind again, moans filling the room.

"Then…you'll just have to be louder than the TV."

"VICTORY FOR URANUS! IT'S TIME TO COME HOME!"