Inevitable

It started on a Friday of all days.

Havoc and I had wrapped up another training session early. I had been progressing so well that our time spent together was little more than a practice interrogation session.

Frankly, I wished we had started there. Hands on training was more my style.

And somewhere in between I had filled out the forms for revoking the State Certifications I requested. They weren't filed yet because they were stacked in your office.

In some unknown paper pile.

In the midst of all this progress, the inevitable happened.

The very thing we had hoped to avoid. The very thing I was preparing to deal with.

Maria knocked once before walking in on the completed training session. Her normally pleasant smile replaced with a harried sense of urgency. "Havoc, you better get out of here." She handed him a sealed document pouch, "Take this and go back to your office."

Havoc took the offered object and stared at her in confusion. Maria continued, "No time. Just go. The explanation is inside for Mustang." Havoc gave her a quick nod of understanding before dashing out the door – not even bothering to pick up his cigarette pack.

A rather bad indication.

Maria turned back to me, "Ed, do you know the route back to the library?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I use it all the time."

"Good. Go there and wait."

I felt my heart pick up a beat as all signs began to point to trouble – big trouble. "What's going on?"

Maria looked out the door briefly before turning back to respond to my question. Tight lines creased her face and pulled her mouth into a thin line. She tried to give me a sympathetic look. "You've been targeted."

A single phrase.

The room dropped so quiet I could hear a faint ringing in my ears.

Now, I felt panic clamp my chest tight – my head felt a little light.

Wasting no more time on conversation, I headed for the back route to the library. Passing through familiar routes, I moved as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself. A smile here, a wave there – nothing strange about this at all.

Except the ever growing sense of dread filling the pit of my stomach.

What was it?

What was it?

What did they know about me?

I hid deep within the Alchemical Wing. Hoping that whoever is coming for whatever reason would have to work to find me. Or at least give me time to prepare for their arrival. I quickly grabbed passing books to make a sizable stack for show. I didn't care what they were about. Odds were that whoever was coming wouldn't know a thing about Alchemy or, if they did, wouldn't bother to glance at the titles.

Time passed slowly – or quickly.

I couldn't tell.

My entire body jumped with every creak or closing door I could hear. My heart was pounding in my chest making me want to pant for breath. The grip I had on the randomly selected book was nearly breaking the hardbound cover.

I shook my head forcefully.

I had to calm down.

If I act like when whoever arrives, there won't be a need for an interrogation – perhaps one to see who my informant was.

I held my breath to slow the rapid beating in my chest. Letting out a slow controlled breath, I instantly felt better. With that under control, I stretched my real limbs to force the tension from them. There was no way to stop the quaking in them though – the adrenaline pumping through my veins would only dissipate with time.

Now think.

There are only two scenarios. Either they know about my past or my present.

The present we prepared for – I knew what to do.

I ran through the scenarios that Havoc and I practiced – step by step. The logical act settling the shaking in my limbs.

I know what to do.

Soon, I heard the steady cadence of several pairs of boots.

I took in another deep breath and braced myself as well as possible for the last time. I picked up the abused book from a moment ago for appearance's sake.

The rhythmic clomping grew ever closer until it stopped. Muffled voices were heard. Then the tempo began anew.

Growing louder and louder as they reached their destination.

The next time it stopped, those boots and the men in them stood before me. To address me.

A rather burly looking officer was flanked by four other officers of equal stature. I looked up from the book trying my best to appear confused by this visit. The first officer spoke, "Fullmetal Alchemist, you are to come with us immediately." One of the flanking officers stepped forward holding wooden stocks.

The only way to handcuff an Alchemist.

I felt the tension I had banished just moments ago return to my limbs – making me worry my movements would look shaky.

I set down the book while never taking my eyes off the first officer. True, I wasn't going to make this easy. If I did that, it would be suspicious and, besides, I didn't want to. But at that moment, I was torn between a rising sense of apprehension and pride that they felt the need to assign five officers to arrest me.

I placed on a look of irritation at the first officer's request. Hope this is believable.

Opting to run with verbally obstinate, "Why?"

The first officer squared his shoulders in a primitive show of size, "To answer to charges made against you." He gestured for the second officer to step forward.

The second officer didn't move.

I spoke to avoid letting the grin of satisfaction reach my lips, "From who? By who? I'm in the middle of important research. I don't have time to slack off." Yeah, I think I grabbed a basic book on Alchemy somewhere in my flurry to the back of the wing. For all I know, I could have a book on kittens.

Okay the transmutation of kittens.

The first officer broke eye contact with me to look at the immobile second. He, then, turned back to level a narrow gaze at me. Intimidation tactic number two. "That is why you are to come with us. All I can tell you is that I am acting on the Council's orders. Now, if you would?" He gestured for me to step forward since his second was clearly rooted to the floor.

Intimidation factors aside, he was being rather polite. I made a gesture of "fine" before I stood up. I set the books aside carefully and made a show of dusting off myself before walking a few steps towards the first officer. Clearly, he was pleased that he didn't need to wrestle me into compliance as a telltale look of relief passed over his face. Those large shoulders relaxing from their squared position.

I stopped and pointed at the second, "But not in that."

That satisfied look fell. "We have orders."

"Na uh."

He tried another demonstration of size as his shoulders rose again. Yeah, I know you're bigger than me – a lot of people are. That doesn't change the fact that I used to spar with a seven foot suit of armor. Resigned that intimidation wasn't working, "Please, sir."

I looked at his lapels for the first time. He was a Second Lieutenant. Despite my knotting ball of worry tearing up my gut, I felt the urge to laugh. The military and its stupid rules on obedience to rank. "No. If you want to make this easy," I pointed at the stocks again, "then lose those."

The entire group thought this over in silence. The still silent officers three through five darted wide-eyed glances between the first and second officers. Number four, who stood conveniently in the back, even made a small nod with his head in the affirmative. The second officer made an effort to speak for the group by placing the stocks behind his back.

I was guessing at this point that these guys drew the short end of the stick – so to speak. The poor unlucky bastards that had to bring an infamous wrecking machine in.

As the old saying goes, they were more afraid of me than I was of them. And the only thing I was afraid of was the charges against me that this group was ignorant of.

The first officer sighed. The first act that showed he wasn't as staunch of a military man as he presented himself to be. "Very well. You won't try anything?"

"Not if you lose 'em." Go on disobey that pesky order.

The first office turned and gave a quick nod to the second officer. With that the second turned from the group to leave the wing – the quick staccato of his boots indication enough that he wanted to get as far away as possible without actually running. Once he was out of sight, the first gestured for me to walk forward and the group flanked me with two officers on each side.

So this was it.

At least I wasn't handcuffed.

I had never gone to the Justice Branch of the military before.

Can't say I wanted to return any time soon.

I was brought before a magistrate to answer to charges of Human Transmutation made by the State. I was betting that those charges were written by either Ebner, Raven or Hakuro or a combination thereof.

It was still a capitol offense.

I could be executed by firing squad.

Not exactly a pleasant feeling.

I sat through a long processing procedure before they showed me to my cell in stocks.

Dammit those things are uncomfortable. I tried to convince my jailer that I wouldn't do anything, but with a capitol offense charged against me there was no room argument.

And I was deemed a flight risk. Go figure.

The sky outside of the small cell window was dark with no stars in sight. The wooden plank they had the nerve to call a bed was pushed against the corner of the cell. I climbed on it and pulled myself into the corner so that my back pressed against the cold stone wall. I pulled my knees to my chest then shifted the weight of the stocks onto the right arm – providing a small amount of relief to my aching left.

I've been in jail before. Usually because I'm such a suspicious character. But unlike today, I didn't have the satisfaction of knowing that soon the mistake would be realized and I could go home.

There was no mistake today.

I really did it. It was over eight years ago, but I really did it.

I had been so busy preparing for my current misdeeds that I completely overlooked the past. I knew it was there sure.

But I made no plans for this.

I had no plans with you and the others either.

The others . . .

You and I knew we would cover up our recent . . . involvement. But this?

Why would you risk this?

This one was all on me.

An icy sense of fear shot through me, Al. Oh dear merciful . . . was Al brought up on charges too? Did they send someone to Granny's to get him? Was he sitting in a cramped cell right now too? Oh please, please . . . leave Al alone.

In that small cramped corner, I spent the night.

I've never been so scared in my entire life.

My morning wake-up call came in the form of loud metal clanging and the shout of "Breakfast". I didn't know what time it was, but it felt early. Soon the shuffle of the general population of prisoners walking single-file to the mess hall was heard.

My small wing was quiet.

Some time later, an officer went down the wing to feed us.

I guess I won't be leaving this place for some time.

I suppose general population would be worse.

Awake now, the fears from last night worked their way into my mind. Worst of all was that I had no way of deflecting them. I couldn't walk the dogs. I couldn't bury myself in research. I couldn't ask Riza to lunch or dinner so I could talk this out.

All I could do was sit here and let them sink deeper and deeper into my mind.

What could I do?

A small part of me wished for you to come sweeping in and save me from this. I knew that it was a passing fantasy. I would never want you to do that really. Rescuing me would damn you. The goal you've worked so hard for, the promotion we've all worked so hard for, would be destroyed. It was even possible that you would be tossed in here too as a conspirator. Hell, everyone in your office could be considered a conspirator.

And it would be all my fault.

The reality was . . . I'm on my own. You won't come to save me. No one will. This is something I'm going to have to figure out on my own.

Otherwise all I am is a liability.

The roles I get to play for you are never any good.

An impudent child . . .

Temporary chaos . . .

The People's Alchemist . . .

Letting you walk away without regret . . .

Now this.

It is my turn to play defender. To show that you didn't have a clue about this. I lied from the very start. If I take this on my own, none of it should come your way. You'll be free and clear. And Ebner and the others are all left with are wasted efforts.

Likewise, I'll have to defend Al. If he is . . . if he has been brought up on charges I'll get him excluded. Typically, children are pardoned from most criminal acts.

And even though we were both children, I'm the only one you could reasonably charge as an adult.

The facts were on my side in this case. I am the older one. So it isn't far fetched to say that I told him to do it or I talked him into it. Even though Al researched it with me, I was the one who put the whole thing together. I was the one who decided to use everything Teacher taught us this way.

And above all else, I'm the one labeled a genius; a prodigy.

Al is just a normal kid with normal limits.

If I could make all of this work, no one but me will take the fall.

I shut my eyes and willed away the fear settling deep within my mind. The feeling leaving me with the urge to hold myself. My body slowly rocking to bring comfort to my trouble mind.

If I was lucky . . . I would be forced to resign. I would walk away with nothing, but I'd be okay. I was willing to barter this. Perhaps, offing my resignation could help.

Other alternatives grew increasingly bad. I could be dishonorably discharged. With my reputation there was no way I could walk away from that stigma. I could be placed in solitary confinement for the rest of my life. Locked away in some military prison until everyone has forgotten me – wearing these damned stocks until I die. And, of course, I could be executed.

A good ending for most involved with the exception of mine ending with the crackling of the firing squad.

There was no alternative for me that included "happily ever after" in this scenario.

I was brought out of my apprehensive musing by the sound of Kain clearing his throat. I looked up surprised to even hear someone I would identify as Kain.

But there he was. With his thick, black framed square glasses and dopey grin.

"Hi, Ed."

It felt surreal. Like I wanted to reach out and poke Kain to see if he was real. "Uh, hi."

Kain's grin widen. I could tell he was trying to make the best of this situation. He clasped his left wrist with his right hand to keep from wringing them together. "Are you okay?"

Just plagued with thoughts of death and worry. I shrugged in a vain attempt to appear collected, "Yeah."

"I heard about it just before I went home yesterday. I didn't believe it. I tried to see you last night, but they wouldn't let me."

Dear sweet, considerate Kain. Thanks for trying.

He continued, "So I went to your place to take care of the dogs. Funny, huh? Here you are and all I could do was take care of some dogs." The grin he was trying so hard to keep in place fell. His eyes began to water as he took in shaky breaths. "How stupid is that?"

I felt my eyes tear up at the sight. "It isn't."

Tears rolled freely down his face, "How? That's all I can do. I didn't even know what was going until then. Lieutenant Hawkeye and Second Lieutenant Havoc knew. Even Second Lieutenant Breda and Warrant Officer Falmen weren't surprised so they knew something. I was the only one who knew nothing."

Because we wanted to protect you. I went to speak, but Kain kept going.

"The only times you guys tell me anything is when something mechanical breaks. Otherwise I'm left out."

I was struck by a sudden sense of irony. All this time I was trying to find a way to fit in – to be apart of the office. I felt like an outsider.

And Kain was feeling the same way.

All this time . . . the things I thought I needed to know or the things I thought I needed to be, were the very same things the people around me were trying to figure out too. I wasn't far behind some social learning curve where I needed to catch up desperately. I was right in the normal range.

I've always been so far ahead I didn't realize what it was like to be normal.

Because I was normal.

A strange rush of relief surged through me and for a moment I was content. I looked up at the expectant Kain, "I know. But you aren't the only one."

Kain looked at me redden eyes wide, "W-what?"

"Be glad you aren't involved. The only reason I am . . . " I held my hands up to gesture to the room I was occupying the stocks making the movement difficult.

"I wanted to help."

"There's nothing to do."

"But take care of the dogs," the last word rose in pitch signaling a half-formed question.

"Yeah," a small sound of laughter added to my voice, "take of the dogs. Scruffy's a worrier."

The grin returned to Kain's face as he used the backs of his hands to wipe away tears. This time it wasn't forced. "Okay."

"You can stay there if you want to."

"At the apartment?"

"Yeah, it probably needs to be cleaned and I don't know if there's food, but you can stay with the dogs."

Kain nodded enthusiastically, "I will."

"Thanks."

Kain turned to go before stopping himself, "Oh, I almost forgot. That would have been dumb." He muttered the last sentence to himself. "Elizabeth wanted you to know that she and Rachel aren't forgetting you."

My shoulders dropped as I felt my mouth began to hang open. I quickly tightened my jaw so fast that I heard my teeth click.

"Also Rachel said that Anna is okay – worried but okay." Kain paused watching the shock leave my face. Kain then added for effect, "You sure know a lot of the café girls around here."

Still stunned, my replied sounded monotone in my ears, "Yeah, I eat out a lot."

Kain smiled. Most likely happy to be in on this conversation.

"Tell 'em thanks. Don't go crazy – they'll know what it means."

Kain nodded, "See you later. I'll try to come by often."

As Kain left, I couldn't help but marvel at what I was just told. My worst fear was taken away. Al was safe. He knows that I'm in jail now, but safe.

And you . . . what were you thinking? You know good and well that you need to be as far from this as possible. If you got caught up in this, who knows what it will do to you goals? That would mean that Ebner or Raven or Hakuro would win. Not to mention the possible ramifications. They could put you in prison too.

And I wouldn't be your shield.

I'd be the weapon that landed a killing blow.

I knew that shouldn't be, but a large part of me was abundantly happy. Guilty but happy. Because, suddenly, I wasn't all alone – everything wasn't placed firmly on my shoulders. I could share it.

But sharing it meant sharing all of the outcome as well – for good or bad. And bad had a big head start.

I sat back against the wall letting my head hit the stone. I should have told you no. I should have told you to walk away.

Instead, I told you it was okay.

I really am a liability. When anyone else in your office would have turned your help away and I greedily accepted it.

Maybe I'm still that petulant child I convinced myself I out grew.

Unable to do anything without a guiding hand.

The next few days passed as a long string of hours. It was hard to tell what time it was or what day it was in this place.

The only way to know was the loud call for a particular meal and the shifting of light outside the cell window.

I can't have a newspaper. Something about awaiting trial and not being allowed. It was a bunch of shit because I could hear the distinct rustle of newspapers in the neighboring cells.

Only I'm not allowed a newspaper.

I spent a lot of time cursing my stupidity and beating myself up. The effort amounted to very little. I wound up with an all-time low sense of self-esteem.

The only thing that came to break me from this self abuse was Kain. He'd give me what little information he could pass and I tried to convince him to tell Rachel and Elizabeth to forget about me. Whatever comes of this is my fault.

Kain wouldn't accept it.

But I desperately didn't want to be a liability.

I refused to accept it.

It wasn't Kain shouted, "But you're one of us!" Suddenly, his bull-headed determination to remain involved made sense. It was such a simple phrase too.

I could still picture the look on Kain's face. Those big brown eyes set with an unusual amount of purpose, the straight line of his mouth pressed firm, and his brows pulled fiercely together. Kain was resolute.

The reason they were joining in my suicidal cause was simply because I was one of them. I didn't need to ask or even want their help – it was going to be there.

I told him that it was stupid and they should leave what can't be helped. But Kain held his ground. "It doesn't matter. When a buddy is in need we don't back down – no matter how stupid it may seem." All for one.

A cryptic sense of irony crept through my mind at the phrase. And All is one.

Perhaps I'm better suited for the military than I realized.

Kain left that day certain that I would never argue about that particular topic again. "Shut up and accept it." I had never heard Kain so serious about a topic that didn't include canines.

He didn't come the next day.

I was worried that I had pushed Kain too far. He had never really seemed military minded but perhaps I insulted his pride with my persistent questioning.

If I did, how can I apologize if he didn't come back.

I laughed at myself. Not too long I would have refused to apologize for anything. Now . . . well the time spent here is quite humbling. I've never felt more worried and useless at the same time.

Just a liability.

A liability with the foolish hope that you could pull off another miracle.

Another day passed without a visitor. I grew increasingly anxious. Popping up to see whoever passed by – hoping that it was my visitor.

But it never was.

I kept looking for visitors. Counting the hours was fraying my unsettled mind. It was so bad that when a familiar face stopped outside my cell, I was convinced that I had lost it entirely. The time here had made me completely crazy – I was even having visual hallucinations.

Then the hallucination spoke.

"Hi Brother."

A/N: While I was away I attempted to write out this one-shot that wouldn't leave me alone. And it is written. However, I attempted to write in 3rd person (which is frickin' hard). This resulted in something I'm not really happy with – so I'm reworking/rewriting it. It will be up someday in the hopefully not too distant future.

And always – please, please review. ^_^