Chapter 1

I looked out on the horizon as the sun sank down the tall city buildings. The sun gleamed off the bright sliver sky scrapers. The sun was setting and the night was coming.

At this time of day it was like all the things that happened today don't matter and they just seem to melt away in the darkness, but I always remember that the sun comes up tomorrow and your problems never disappear.

I put that aside as I felt the last warmth of the day go with the sun and the cool night set in. I looked up a the sky where there are no stars. Just darkness to swallow you up.

I wish I could melt into the shadows just not be seen for once. I wish I could just be consumed by darkness and never have to see tomorrow. Never have to face what was sure to meet to me.

I was always having to put up a constant act. The perfect, humble, nice, Kat Simmons everyone thought me to be. Always having to care what everyone else thinks. Why are people are always so superficial? They never seem to actually care about each other, instead are trying to make themselves look better.

I don't give a damn about everyone else, because when it comes down to it nothing matters when your alone. And I was all alone, again. The city has the black inky sky never has stars.

Stars give you hope that someday your dreams will come true that things will get better. To hold on to hope with all you might and maybe someday everything will get better. Hope always leads to disappointment but I always find myself pulled in by just the smallest spark.

As night sets in I feel the wind against my face. It blows my dark wavy brown hair back that contrasts against my pale skin. I'm only wearing my shorts and a tank top while I'm sitting on the ground of my apartment balcony.

My legs through the bars of the railing. The trees on the street below are bright and colorful. The tress covered in red, orange, and yellow leaves that fall to the dark street. I look down at the street and see a boy my age with jet black hair pass by on a bike. He peddling fast and with an expression that looks like he's never had a care in the world. The type of people I hate. I look away and head inside.

I heat up some leftover take out food from the fridge and eat it. I look at the empty little kitchen table. It seemed so out of place in the messy apartment. The apartment littered with clothes and books laying around everywhere. The TV and my laptop are probably my most used things. The kitchen table was dark and collecting dust now. After my parents died when I was 10, it was never used.

After they died I wouldn't talk. I couldn't because I knew that nothing I could say could bring back my parents. The guilt of their death was always hanging over me. It was all my fault. Their death was because of me. I was in a dance that I had been preparing with my school for months and I was so excited. I knew my parents had work but I begged and pleaded for them to come.

On the way there my mom and dad called while they were in the car. A drunk driver hit them while they were calling and the last thing I heard from my parents were their screams of pain as they died in agony over the phone. You were young you couldn't have known, nobody blames you is what they all said. Trying to cheer me up but nothing would help. Not even their lies.

My brother Aaron and me were left alone in the apartment that was only left with feelings of dread. I stared talking after 6 months of silence. I couldn't take silence any more it didn't help. Nothing did.

I turned 14 this year. My brother left for college this summer and I'm left to live alone. I'm not supposed to live alone until I'm 16 so I have to pretend he's still living with me. I will go to high school that's only a few blocks away.

I start school tomorrow. I wish there was a way that I could just never go back to people who pitied me and said they understand how I feel. They don't understand and I don't want their sympathy. I want someone to be able to see through me. I want someone to see that I'm suffering no matter how many smiles I put on. Someone to finally see me. For who I am, not for what has happened to me.