Summary: Naruto is born with extraordinary superpowers, but unlike the stereotypical righteous superheros, he prefers an edgy and insouciant lifestyle. That all change when he unwittingly saves Anko's life.

This story is inspired by the movie/TV shows, Smallville and Hancock. I just realised that Gaara has control of sand, Yugito can control flames, Kirabi can controls ink, Utakata can controls bubble. So Naruto should be able to do something awesome, right?

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(~Prologue: Don't call me an Asshole~)

Jinchuriki, a paramount entity that possessed phenomenal strength and anomalous prowess, were often ostracised by the judgemental society; they were classified as demons due to exigent circumstances and ubiquity misconceptions. A familiar trait every jailor shared was the fact that they inherited exceptional powers from their diabolical demons sealed within their souls.

The fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze, had the Kyubi no Yoko synchronised its soul with Naruto's and in return, the malevolent fox involuntarily gave the blonde transcendental power. Herculean strength, ungodly invulnerability, capability of flight, tremendous speed and eidetic memories, these were the unearthly powers transferred to Naruto by a reluctant Kyubi. For survival's sake, Kyubi endured his diminished pride; after all, if Naruto died, he would be dragged to hell subsequently.

What's worst? Jail or hell? It isn't a rocket science question and the fox knew it.

Of course, those powers bestowed upon the blonde came with a price.

Naruto's ability to produce ninjutsu was stripped away.

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(8 years later...)

"What am I, grandpa?" Naruto, dressed in a causal orange hooded jacket, plain dark shirt and jeans, stood at the apex of the Hokage tower with his surrogate grandfather, Sarutobi Hiruzen. "Tell me the truth."

The old Hokage sighed as he held his hands behind his back. "You're normal, just like everybody else."

"Normal?" The blonde scoffed. In a spur of moment, Naruto seized the dagger stashed on Sarutobi's waist and stabbed his hand. The Hokage widened his eyes in horror and grasped the blonde's hand, stupefied at his surrogate grandson's drastic and impulsive action. "What are you doing!"

"What am I doing?" Naruto handed the weapon to his terrified surrogate grandfather. The dagger was broken, and the blonde's arm was perfectly unharmed. "You call this normal? Is this what you call normal? I'm not an idiot, grandpa! I can differentiate what's normal and what's not. This is not normal! And you know what's spooky? I can hear people's whispers like a stereo blast at full volume! I'm a freak!"

"You're not a freak, Naruto! You're special!" Sarutobi scolded.

Naruto rolled his eyes in suppressed anger. "Yeah, just now I'm normal, now I'm special. Right. What's next? I'm the main character in the next Icha Icha series?"

"Naruto! You must have faith in yourself. You're gifted. And with these gifts come with great responsibility." The Hokage stared through Naruto's pair of sapphire orbs and lectured. "You have so much potential in you, Naruto. You are born for greatness."

"Greatness? People scheming my demises every seconds and lousy teachers sabotaging my test papers… Is that what you call greatness? Cause if it is, I rather be a hooligan than to help a bunch of ungrateful trashes." Naruto yelled in palpable rage. "Tell me the truth, grandpa. What am I?"

Sarutobi opened his mouth, but no coherent noises came out. The blonde sighed in defeat, his golden bangs casted an ominous shadow over his eyes. "I guess that's that. In the end, I'm still a freak."

"No! Naruto, listen to me. Look at me, Naruto." Naruto reluctantly stared at the aged Hokage. "Your powers are a gift to you. You must learn to use it wisely at the appropriate time. Until I can tell you the truth... you must suppress your powers and not let anybody knows about it."

"I'm sorry... but I won't let anybody controls me just because of my powers."

Within split seconds, Naruto vanished into a sonic blur, speeding through the village in an unrivalled velocity and leaving orange afterimages trailing his tracks. The old Hokage took a heavy puff from his pipe and tiled his head up to the darken sky, guilt and sorrow reflected upon his wrinkled face. "I'm sorry. Minato, Kushina, I have failed the two of you."

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Naruto was seating in his favourite spot in an extravagant pub, his feet delinquently on the antiquated table and a bottle of unfinished whiskey in his hand. His body was immune to any fatal toxicities, alcohol was no quandary. Rin, a brunette bar owner who owned the notorious Rose Queen Bar and had a masculine tendency to wear tuxedo, ambled gracefully towards her beloved customer with a disappointed frown adoring on her enchanting features. "Naruto! How many times did I tell you not to put your legs on the table? And stop drinking! You're what? Eight or something? You're not legally mature enough to drink!"

Turning his lazy attention at his surrogate elder sister, Naruto sighed as he removed his feet from the table and whined. "Come on, tomboy, it is impossible for me to have a hangover. Besides, old enough to kill, old enough to drink, old enough to bang chicks dry."

Gritting her teeth in disgust, Rin slapped the younger blonde's head harshly. "No vulgarities in my bar! And who taught you that?"

"My next door neighbour?" Naruto was unfazed by the bar owner's light assault, nothing could penetrate his indestructible skin anyway. "Just leave me alone, tomboy."

"You imbecile little-"

"Big news!" Someone intruded in the bar, screaming ecstatically with a glint of joy sparkling in his eyes. "I heard something big happen in the Hyuga mansion a few minutes ago! Apparently, the Kumo ambassadors are the assassins and they're going to do something huge!"

Upon registering the abrupt news, Rin placed a hand on her hip and stared incredulously at the younger blonde. "Well?"

Naruto arched an impassive brow. "What? You want a candy or something?"

"Go do something about it!" Rin demanded sternly. "If you don't do anything about it, I'm not going to supply you any drinks anymore! You hear me, little twerp?"

Mumbling silent profanities under his breath, Naruto wrestled himself into a standing position sluggishly, cracked his neck and scrutinised the bar owner with a semblance of apathy. "I'm doing this for you... and my whiskey."

Switching his impassive attention to the roof, Naruto soared through the ceiling recklessly and charged towards his designated destination. Fuming at the younger blonde's unruly behaviour, Rin screamed in frustration. "When you return, you're gonna PAY for my ROOF! NARUTO-BAKA!"

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Flying insouciantly in the sky, the blonde caught sight of several ninjas engaging in battle at the garden of a prestigious compound and he dived towards the confrontation. Naruto descended swiftly in the middle of the vehement dispute, creating a diminutive crater underneath him in the process, and scanned vigilantly at his vicinity. Standing on his right was the Hyuga's clan head, Hiashi, and his frail daughter, Hinata, who was cowering behind her father's presence. The hostiles on Naruto's left were two foreign ninjas readied in their fighting stances.

"W-Who are you! How did you do that?" The Kumo Chunin gulped in consternation as he eyed the intruder critically.

"Calm down. I don't care what you are or who you are. I'm not here to judge." Naruto yawned. "And I don't care if you're pulling the stinkin' stick out of those Hyugas' asses but if you don't surrender quietly, I swear to Kami's mother, I will stuff your asses with tampons. Lots and lots of tampons. Trust me, that shit hurts."

Hiashi snarled at the insolent insults, but disregarded it, for now.

"Who do you think you are? Some kind of superboy or shit?" The aggravated Kumo Jonin sneered. "You don't tell us what to do, asshole."

Suddenly, the blonde's eyes widened in stupefaction. "Leave and you might see the next sunset."

"Why asshole?" The Kumo Chunin smirked darkly.

Narrowing his cerulean eyes into vicious slits, Naruto warned. "You gotta stop calling me that."

"Asshole!" The Kumo Jonin chimed in.

"That's not my name."

"Ass - hole!"

Unexpectedly, an iniquitous and boisterous grin tugged at Naruto's lips. "Call me an asshole... one more time."

The Jonin snorted haughtily. "As-"

Inhaling a deep breath, Naruto expelled a mist of arctic chill, freezing the two assailants into statues instantaneously. "Punk asses."

Hiashi and Hinata gasped in horror at the mysterious blonde's miraculous strength. The father and daughter cringed in fear when Naruto switched glances at them. "If they come back again, I'm not going to do jack squat about it. Count yourself lucky this time. And send somebody to defreeze these two fools... or they will seriously die. See ya."

Gesturing a casual goodbye wave, Naruto morphed into a vibrant flash as he blasted into hyper acceleration and darted towards his next destination, leaving two flabbergasted individuals gawking at what had just happened.

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Teuchi was wiping his wok at his counter in his stall, Ichiraku Ramen Bar, when Naruto somewhat manifested in one of his accustomed seat stealthy. "Hey, old man!"

The aged stall owner jolted in fright. "Naruto! How many times did I tell you not to zap around all of a sudden like a ghost all the time? You almost give me a heart attack."

"Yeah, yeah, just give me a bowl of beef. As usual." The blonde rolled his eyes.

"Kids these days." Teuchi kept mumbling as he strolled to do his duty. Ayame approached the counter displeased. "Naruto-chan! Stop scaring my dad like that. So, how have you been?"

"Inane question, sis. What else will I be doing except wandering around the village like a lone wolf?"

"A lone puppy is more like it." Ayame teased, in which Naruto pouted. "I'm always a little puppy to you, sis."

"Because you are." The waitress pinched her surrogate little brother's nose before leaving to the kitchen.

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"So, you're telling me that Naruto saves your daughter from the Kumo nin?" The Hokage contemplated analytically as he stared at the unemotional eyes of the Hyuga leader. "Any reasons why Naruto will do that?"

"That is my second question." Hiashi frowned. "How did that impudent boy even knows how to run like that? It was as if he was travelling at the speed of light. Even my Byakugan couldn't track down his trajectory. Mesmerising it might be, I am indebted to the Jinchuriki."

"This conversation doesn't leaves this room, am I clear, Hiashi-dono?"

"Absolutely."

Sarutobi slumped down into his chair and sighed. "I will interrogate the foreign ninja personally. Until then, act normal and awaits further orders."

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"Naruto-chan! Will you go to the supermarket and help me get the fish paste sauce for me? My dad forgot to buy it this morning." Ayame yelled from within the kitchen. The blonde huffed in annoyance. "Am I your maid or something?"

Having said the rhetorical question, Naruto disappeared into a golden lightning, dashing through the streets with unrestrained tenacity. Nobody had seen the blonde when he entered the shopping plaza located numerous miles away from the ramen stall, bolted hurriedly into the market, seized the item without paying and halted his tracks outside the mall at the alley. Checking briefly at the fish paste jar, Naruto grinned satisfactorily.

Before the blonde decided to leave, his fortitude surged instinctively. Glancing at the tenebrous alley, his irises radiated a serene green glow as he scanned the repulsive place fervently. He was startled when his night vision scopes spotted two masked men dragging an unconscious woman into the corner of the alley and started removing her coat.

Naruto sighed and strolled in tranquil towards the despicable men. "Hey! Can you two cut me some slacks and stop what you're doing?"

"Who are you?" The first man, thin and tall, barked angrily. "This is none of your business. So why don't you do yourself a favour and scram!"

The blonde shook his head in disapproval. "No can do. Look, if you don't stop doing whatever you're going to do, I swear to Kami's father, your face will up his ass, and his face will up your ass."

"Fuck you!" The second man, fat and short, snapped aggressively. "If you don't leave, we will bust your fuckin' face, asshole!"

Taking cognition of the profanity directed at him, Naruto growled. "Call me an asshole... one more time."

The tall man walked towards the blonde and poked his chest provokingly. "What are you gonna do about it, asshole?"

Suddenly, Naruto's eyes emanated a sinister vermillion glow before a pair of blazing beams erupted from the blonde's eyes and shot at the tall man's eyes. The man collapsed onto the cold payment, twitching violently and screaming in agony. Witnessing the terror Naruto could inflict, the obese man spun around and run, only to gape at the young blonde mysteriously before him. "I-I'm sorry! You can do whatever you want with the bitch! J-Just let me go... please!"

"It's too late for apologies. You, who are guilty of the law, shall repent for eternity in hell." The atrocious grin curled at Naruto's lips widened impishly. "But first... a little humiliation will do the job."

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Anko thought she was smashed through a building when she woke up from a comfortable bed. Indulging in reminiscence, Anko groggily recalled yelling at several perverted men, threatening to remove their manhood, took a sip of her drink and everything went black next. Surveying the apartment, she noticed the furniture and belongings emitted a masculine sense. "What am I doing in a man's house?"

She had to give the stranger credit; the house held an exquisite design and was awfully dustless. The bedroom was exposed and connected to the living room as she noticed a widescreen plasma TV with a set of sofas. "Oh my god. Did I just sleep with some loser? Oh fuck, my days just keep getting better and-"

"Glad you're awaken." Anko's lavender eyes perked up rapidly as she twisted her attention to the source of the sound hastily. To her dismay, a blonde was seating on the bed, staring stoically at her with a cup of sizzling water in his hand. "Here, drink this. It'll cure your bitch-of-a-hangover pretty quick. And by the way, I'm too young for you."

"You own this apartment?" The Tokubetsu Jonin was perturbed when the blonde nodded and took the cup warily. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"I'm-"

"Anko Mitarashi." Naruto interrupted as he studied his nails in sheer boredom. "Age: 17. Gender: Female. Blood type: A. Height: 165 cm. Weight: 44.6 kg. Ninja registration code: 011226. Become Genin at age 10 and turn Chunin at age 12. Horoscope: Scorpio. Favourite food: Dango and sweat red bean paste soup. Hobby: Tea ceremonies. Affiliation: Konohagakure. Species: Human. Relationship: Single."

Anko gaped at the blonde. "Have you been spying on me, brat? Or are you keeping tabs on me secretly like a closet pervert you are?"

"Firstly, me wasting time spying on you? Pfft! What do you take me for? Desperate-for-a-shag kind of guy? Secondly, I'm not a closet pervert and I do not need to be. And if you're wondering how did I know so much, I read your profile."

"My profile? From Hokage-sama?" Anko's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"No? I barged into his room and found your profile in one of the drawers." Naruto sighed.

"I have a question to ask you."

Anko pinched her nose and drank the distasteful liquid. "Do you like being raped?"

Digesting every syllabus of the question, the Tokubetsu Jonin spat out her drink indignantly. "W-What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me." Naruto retained an emotionless facade. "Dressing up like a slut, getting drunk at night and have no friends to bring you home with. I'm guessing this is one of the main reasons why so many girls got raped at night in this village. I supposed that's what happens in other villages as well. Ca-"

Anko slapped the boy in utter umbrage, but was inwardly surprised that her palm was numb; it was as if she just slapped a titanium sculpture. "You don't know me! Don't you dare talk to me like you know me!"

An awkward silence intruded. Anko was blushing unconsciously and Naruto was pondering.

"I'm sorry." The blonde murmured. "I'm no good with communication. I guess that's what happens when you're a Jinchuriki, huh? You get shun from the society, you are scorned by the general populous and eventually, you despised the wretched society and cursed the people as payback. And pray to Kami's grandparents that one day this village will burn into a living hell."

Naruto chuckled as he stood up and strolled towards the kitchen apathetically. "I'm gonna go get some congee for you. It's probably ready now."

Rewinding the statement the blonde had spoken constantly in her mind, Anko felt disgruntled. She didn't know whether she should sympathise or hate the boy. After all, who would bother educating Jinchuriki? "Do you live by yourself?"

"Jinchuriki lives in solitude." Naruto yelled from the kitchen. Ladling the last scoop of congee into the bowl, the blonde ambled carefully towards Anko's bedside and gave the bowl gently to her. "I have been alone for my whole life. Besides, the only reason why I stay in this godforsaken place is because of… attachments. Otherwise, I would have left."

The Tokubetsu Jonin took a sip from the porridge and smiled. "You're good at cooking."

Naruto shrugged nonchalantly.

"I couldn't help but think that you have quite a good range of vocabularies and a decent grammar for someone at your age. Why?"

In retrospect, the blonde sighed. "A few years ago, I snuck into the national library and was devising a prank. I stumbled across a book that depicted the life of a humble ninja named after me. All of a sudden, I started to read unbelievably fast. And the next thing I knew, I read about five hundred books in two minutes and got hit by a migraine. I then found out that my photographic memory comes in with the package as well."

"Wow." Anko chirped. "That's pretty awesome. So, you have read pretty much all the books in the library?"

"For the sake of killing time, yeah." Naruto rose from his seat and walked away.

"W-Where are you going?"

"I'm going to inform the old man so he can suspend you from duty and that you're living in my suite temporarily." Without delaying any further, Naruto dissipated into a gentle breeze.

Anko simply watched the vacated spot immensely.

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Sarutobi observed the people before him cautiously. Standing before him was his old teammates, Koharu and Homura, along with Danzo and Hiashi. "As you four have known, yesterday, the Kumo ambassadors betrayed our trust and were attempting to kidnap the heiress of the Hyuga clan. I am in the conundrum of our next plan. Thanks to-"

As if on cue, the window shattered and Naruto emerged with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. "Wassup? Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Danzo frowned. "Such a detestable ingrate. We are in the mee-"

"Ah! Just in time. Please meet Naruto Uzumaki. The boy who bested the Kumo assailants and helped us captured the Kumo nins." Sarutobi smiled.

Koharu, Homura and Danzo scowled in disgust at the blonde, especially after identifying his status. "That's impossible! Hiashi-dono, surely this is a misunderstanding. This boy can't possibly-"

"Naruto is indeed our benefactor. I have seen him engaging in battle with my own eyes." Hiashi rectified.

Naruto turned his sights lazily at the Hokage and yawned. "I'm here to tell you that Anko Mitarashi will be living in my house for a while. She was attacked yesterday and I saved her hide. I hope you can get her a sick leave or something."

"I see. That's no problem then." Sarutobi smiled.

Jumping onto the sofa, Naruto placed his hands behind his head and rested cosily. "I have a solution for all of your problems. The Hyuga affair, right? Grandpa, I have the perfect resolution for your dilemma."

Danzo scoffed. "You think your knowledge is crucial enough to prove to Kumo that we are the victors? I suggest we march to war, annihilate all of them and take their Jinchuriki by force!"

Spontaneously, Naruto was seating on the Hokage's desk in a flash. "Yes, deliberately sending people into the battlefield while scheming hideously on how to takeover grandpa's title, great plan. Very smooth." Danzo clenched his fists in anger. "Anyway, grandpa, let's make a deal. I will help you solve this problem without triggering a war. Hell, I'll even tell you how to finish your paperwork without even lifting a finger."

Sarutobi widened his eyes. "W-What! Really?"

"Yes, but under three conditions. One, I get a travelling permit; this means that I get to leave this… good-for-nothing village whenever I want. Two, I will receive 25% commission for the treaty that I have formulated when it is at fruition. Three, you get to choose whether I dropout from your half-assed academy or I graduate immediately; I can't be bothered wasting time in the academy doing needless homework." Naruto rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Now at any given day, I'll be damned to get myself near one of these old big bags of fucks called a council but hey… desperate times. So what do you say?"

"Deal! If your plan works and it avoids an imminent war, you get the end of your bargain." Sarutobi chimed, much to Danzo's displeasure.

However, the Hokage immediately regretted his decision when a malicious smirk adorned on Naruto's face.

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Anko was bored. The boy's suite was neat, but relatively plain. She had rummage Naruto's drawers, but only found clothes, beauty products, dried food and a few books. Surveying the blonde's table, she found an orange book with the word, 'Diary', embedded on it. Curiously, Anko flipped open a couple of pages and had an avid read.

Dear Diary

Tomboy has been nagging at me to do the right thing. Why should I care? No matter give a shit about what I do. I think I'm going to set the village on fire soon if those villagers don't stop pissing me off. Of course I know Rin cares about me but she really needs to chill and give me her whiskeys! And Ayame always treat me like a little brother. I am not little! I just want ramen! I'm not beef with Rin or Ayame or anything but I need to breathe sometimes. Soon, I will find the opportunity to escape this village. I might be bound to this godforsaken place but I will leave soon. If it's a demon they want, then it's a demon they get! I only want to be a human. Is that such an impossible wish? I once thought that we, Jinchuriki, are warriors destined to save civilization. I guess I'm wrong. We are just products for destruction. But I'm no one's tool. I don't take shit from no one and I'll crush those who want to control me. I'm nobody's tool!"

Naruto

Anko sighed. "He craves for affection, but when his attempts fail, he gives up. I think we can relate to that."

"What are you doing with my stuff?" Naruto materialised behind the Tokubetsu Jonin. "You have no right digging in on my things!"

The blonde snatched his diary away; his pupils distorted into slits as it illuminated a feral crimson. "Get out of my house."

Anko could perceive the murderous bloodlust radiated from the boy's frame. "N-Naruto-"

"GET OUT!" The blonde roared wrathfully.

Flinching at Naruto's enraged tone Anko left the apartment, leaving the blonde clutching his head in pain.

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(Naruto's mindscape)

"Ho ho ho! We meet again, bozu." Kyubi no Yoko cackled wickedly. "Everybody is lying to you, Naruto. They are jealous of your mythical powers and your limitless strength. They hate you because of me. Even your precious grandpa lies to you so he could sleep at night. You have no one but me. Accept and fulfil your destiny."

"My destiny?"

"That's right. Unite my eight brothers and sisters together and conquer this world." Kyubi grinned devilishly.

Naruto closed his eyes in deep contemplation. When he opened his slitted eyes abruptly, a sonic wave ruptured furiously, rippling his mindscape thunderously and Kyubi's smirk widened. "You don't order me around here, fox."

"Still, you cannot deny the fact that everybody denies your existence. Soon, you will fulfil your destiny and take over this world. Very soon."

The blonde simply smirked. "I'll take over this world without you telling me."

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(The next day)

Two men, one tall and underweight and the other being short and overweight, were stripped naked and hung upside down at the main gate of Konoha. While the adults were assaying the situation, spreading gossips and concealing their children's views, Naruto sped through the streets tantamount to a mirage of a shimmering thunderbolt. Within seconds, the blonde had reached the entrance of his classroom.

Leisurely, Naruto walked into the noisy classroom. Once he stepped foot into the room, it immediately became dreadful quiet. Ignoring the glares directed at him, Naruto strolled towards his desk, only to be blocked by Kiba. "What are you doing here, loser?"

"I'm attending class, Mr Obvious?" Naruto glared fiercely at the Inuzuka heir. "Get out of my face, mutt. Or I will make you."

"Make me? You got a lot of guts there, asshole!"

The blonde growled. "I hate to break this to you mutt but… you have just crossed my line."

Grabbing the edge of the nearby desk, Naruto tossed it and the table whizzed and crashed through the back of the classroom. Kiba cringed at the blonde's display of inhumane strength. "W-What are you... you're a freak! You should rot in hell and die, asshole!"

In a spur of moment, Naruto seized Kiba's collar and threw him at the wall. When the Inuzuka heir crashed onto the unforgiving concrete, Naruto was already standing beside Kiba's limp form. The Inuzuka heir quavered in fear before Naruto's intimidating presence and begged pitifully. "P-Please! I-I'm sorry, man! Please don't kill me!"

Without mercy, Naruto punched through the wall, his arm inches besides Kiba's temples. Momentarily, the wall cracked and collapsed as rubbles and debris covered the fainted Inuzuka heir. Twirling around, Naruto grinned diabolically. "Anybody else!"

The class remained silent.

"Listen, if you want to fool around like this dipshit over here, come and try it. Your parents are right. Listen to them because I am a demon in human's skin. If you hate me so much, then come kill me. I'm inviting all of you to do it. Well, that is… if you can." Naruto dusted his hands and stared at his gawking classmates awkwardly. "Okay, maybe I came on too strong. How about this? You lame ass bitches leave me alone and we all have peace. Sounds fair? Good."

His classmates swallowed audibly hard and jolted in fear when Naruto turned his sights at them again. "Just off the record, if I'm a demon as what your parents said… then should I be killing all of you right now?"

The blonde's statement, coupled by the psychotic grin tugging his lips, panicked the entire class.

"On second thought, maybe I won't. Hey, even devil has a heart, right?" Naruto sat down on his chair, slumped back casually and placed his feet onto the table.

The children pondered a bit; the blonde did make a point.

This only led them to question their parent's words.

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"So you're saying the demon container rescued you like you're a damsel of distress." Kurenai teased playfully.

"Shut up!" Anko pouted. "I'm not a damsel of distress. I'm the viper that will devour you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that." Yugao giggled. "So, is this boy very strong? I heard that nobody has ever caught the pariah. Not even Hokage-sama. The ANBU said that they only saw an orange blur and the next thing they knew… they got their butt handed to them. My team even tried to catch him once but we just couldn't see him. In fact, Hokage-sama has announced that capturing him is beyond S-Class difficulty and whoever can catch the boy will win a grand prize!"

"Yeah! He is unnaturally fast. I think I'm going to rejoin ANBU so I can torture his crafty little ass!" Anko took another savoury bite from her dumpling.

"Wow. So, what is he like? Cute? Handsome? A pain in the ass?" Yugao queried in curiosity.

"No, but he is very weird. I just took a peak on his diary and he just freaked out or something. Then he kicked me out of his house." Anko folded her arms under her bosoms and huffed. "Nobody kicks the sexy Anko out!"

"Well, in his defence, you invaded his privacy. So, where does he live?" Kurenai asked as she dipped her dango on the sauce bowl and took a generous bite.

"He lives on the west side of town. In a white building. I don't see much people around there anyway. It's like he lives in the entire building all by himself or something." Anko spoke before taking another skewer.

"White building? You mean that white building on the Kurosen district? That white building with the Tulips logo?" Yugao scowled when Anko nodded. "That building is long emptied after the Kyubi incident. Nobody lives in that building, Anko."

"W-What? You mean?"

"Either he owns the entire building to himself." Kurenai concluded sternly. "Or he lives there illegally."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

It was lunch time and Naruto couldn't be more happier in his life. Before he could stand up from his seat, a boy confronted him. "Fight me."

"Yeah, loser! Just because you have some superhuman powers doesn't mean you will defeat Sasuke-kun!" Sakura grinned.

"Fight you? You think you can beat me? Not that it matters. Cause I'll send your cocky ass to the hospital before you can even blink." Naruto smirked shrewdly. "Besides, you'll be more than a dumbass to actually think you can beat me when I make the mutt crap himself an hour ago. So I'll suggest that you do me a favour… and do yourself a favour and get out of the way. Or I might have to bust your sissy ass open and stuff your head in it. And let me tell you what. You ain't wanna be in that position. It will suck... a lot."

"Oh yeah? Prove it, you freak!" Sasuke roared.

"...You're gonna regret calling me that." Flexing his wrist, Naruto backhanded Sasuke's face, sending the Uchiha heir through the window. "I don't need to punch losers, bitch slap will do."

Sakura gasped in anger. "How dare you! You're not supposed to hurt Sasuke-kun!"

The pinkette attempted to punch the blonde, only to have her fist caught swiftly by Naruto. "And you expect me to let him punch me? Are you an idiot or what? Though it won't hurt a bit, I think I will feel a bit violated. Oh well, I gotta go. And remember one thing. I can break your soft little hand if I want. But I didn't. So what does that make me?"

In a blink of an eye, Naruto disappeared.

Sakura simply stood there and contemplated.

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"Get me a bowl of roast chicken, old man!" Naruto's sudden appearance jolted Teuchi in a panic frenzy. "Naruto! You damn brat! How many times did I tell you not to zap around like that? You want to kill me or something? I'm THIS close to a cardiac arrest!"

"Love you too, old man." The bar owner blabbed incoherent matters under his breath before preparing for his favourite customer's meal.

Ayame stormed towards the counter and hit the blonde on his head. "Naruto! Stop giving my dad a heart attack! Or I'm going to force you to seat down with me and we will have a long talk about your inappropriate behaviour!"

Naruto gulped; the last thing he needed was a 'long talk' with his surrogate sister. "I'm sorry!"

"Good boy. Oh, by the way, a few ladies are looking for you." Ayame wiped a bowl as she spoke. "They said they have urgent issues that need to be discussed with you privately."

"Urgent issues?" Naruto arched a brow. "They're not part of tomboy's waitresses, right? I swear I did not flip their skirts and pour mayonnaise into their panties in a heartbeat when tomboy refused to give me the whiskey! It wasn't me! You must believe me, sis!"

Ayame growled. "T-That was you? How dare you!"

"Oh, you're here." The pair switched their sights at the three customers standing on the entrance of the stall. "We've been looking all over for you."

The blonde narrowed his eyes at one of the familiar intruders. "Sis, are they the people who're looking for me?"

Ayame nodded excitedly. "Yup! Hi, Anko-san, Yugao-san, Kurenai-san."

Naruto rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Ayame before putting a few thousands ryo on the counter. "Do you have any pie? I'm starving and I can't wait any longer for the ramen."

Kurenai tapped the blonde's shoulder and smiled benevolently at the boy. "I'm Kurenai. We need to talk to you somewhere private."

"He's not in trouble, is he?" Ayame asked in solicitude.

Yugao shook her head. "No, we just need to talk to him."

"Just get me some pie when I come back." Anko gripped the blonde's collar and dragged him away with a smirk of a leviathan curled up her lips. "I want pie!"

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Anko slammed Naruto onto the wall of an isolated alley harshly. "Hey! That's rude. Is that how you repay someone who saved your ass from being raped?"

Kurenai sighed. "We have checked the records of the apartment you've been living in. Apparently, it is supposedly vacant for years."

"...Yeah? So?" Naruto averted his eyes away. "I did not hurt anybody anyway? It's vacant so I moved in. Simple as that."

"We have to report to Hokage-sama." Yugao frowned. "You're violating the law-"

Abruptly, the blonde vanished from his former spot and manifested behind the trio. "Hey, bite me, woman. Nobody lives there. It'll be a waste. So listen carefully, because I hate repeating twice. I don't give a shit about you knowing what I have done but trust me, if you tell grandpa about this, he'll force me to live in that half-assed-piece-of-crap place again. I assure you, ladies, if the three of you make shit happens, I will hunt you down and I will tear you three apart with my bare hands. And then I will burn this entire village into ashes and watch all of you dicks suffer."

"Is this a threat?" Kurenai bit her lower lips, trying her best to mask her fear. She knew well that Naruto was more than capable of doing that.

"No, it is a promise. Now, let's be civil. The diplomatic solution is this; I am allowing you to live and you keep this a secret for me. The icing of the cake will be this; I am allowing you to stay in that building whenever you want. I have connected water and electrical supplies to that entire building and there are fifteen rooms in there. I live at the top floor so the rest is all yours for the taking. Now, don't bother me and I am going to get me some pie."

Within nanoseconds, Naruto had blitzed away into a static blur with his unparalleled speed.

An uncomfortable silence intruded; the cats meowed, the wind rustling the bushes and the trios were dumbfounded.

Suddenly, the blonde reappeared back to his former spot and stared laxly at Anko. "And next time… for your own sake, call a friend before you get yourself drunk."

Naruto dissipated into a torrent of violent wind as he vanished seamlessly.

Anko was the first to speak. "Wow, didn't know we're so lucky today."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"Where's my pie!" Ayame jumped in shock. "Stop doing that! Naruto! Don't make me give you a tickle feast in the middle of the street!"

"I'm sorry!" Naruto pouted. "I just want pie. Love me some pie!"

The waitress blinked innocently. "Uh... about that. We... ran out of pie."

"No... pie?" Teuchi plated the ramen before Naruto and grumbled. "Forget about the pie and eat your damn ramen."

Naruto sulked and snapped the chopsticks. "It's okay. It's not like I can't take a short trip to Sunagakure and grab myself some octopus meatballs. Seriously, where did they get the octopus from? It tastes so good!"

Ayame arched a questioning brow. "Sunagakure? You've been there before?"

"Yeah?" Naruto inhaled his ramen delightedly before devouring his noodles. "Well, there was once I lost control of my super speed and ran all the way to Sunagakure, make friends with Gaara and his siblings and ran back."

"Gaara?" Teuchi asked.

"Yeah, a Jinchuriki, just like me. He's pretty timid and quiet for a guy. I wonder has he changed a bit or not? He carries a teddy bear with him all the time. I think I'm gonna hop by the toys shop and get him a bear for a present." Naruto smirked. "He has a cute sister and a brother who likes to play makeup. More of a reason I should visit him again. Watch them turn their village into complete chaos. That'll be my day."

"You know you sound crazy when you say that, right?" Ayame pinched her surrogate brother's nose playfully. "Finish your ramen first. And stop talking while chewing. Besides, you can always fly there. Why the need to run?"

"There is a limitation to my capability in flight. Until I reach the age of maturity, I can't fly too long." Naruto continued to eat his ramen. Unbeknownst to them, a person was eavesdropping on the conversation.

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Done. So, how is my story? Please rate it out of a scale of 10. 1 being disgustingly weak and 10 being beyond excellence. Please do not joke around with the rating as it means a lot to me.

And yes, in my story, every Jinchuriki has a particular superman element in them. Naruto is special as he has all the superb attributes in exchange for losing his ability to perform ninjutsu. I can tell you that he is the only Jinchuriki who can't perform ninjutsu. :D (Note: that doesn't mean he is invincible! Superman isn't invincible. He got his ass kicked when you shove rocks up his ass!)

I will elaborate more on Naruto and Gaara's brotherly relationship.

Pairing is unsure.
NarutoXTemari (heheh!)
NarutoXTayuya
NarutoXKin
NarutoXHinata
NarutoXIno
NarutoXKurotsuchi (She's the Tuschikage's granddaughter so… Hey! I don't see anybody doing this pairing!)
NarutoXAnko (I'm unsure of this. I plan to have an elder sister and younger brother relationship. I'll see how it goes.)
NarutoXYugito
NarutoXFu (Rare pairing. Might give it a shot.)
I'm not sure with Shizune, Samui, Kurenai, Yugao and any girls that are not WAY too old for Naruto. That means Tsunade is out of the list.

Following intentional references: Smallville, Hancock, Supernatural.

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