Holy Cows!

Apollo was writing. Writing. Usually, this meant he was writing another of his lame poems so he could read it out loud in front of the other major gods. Sure, the gods had tried everything (even promising to let Simon Cowell hear Athena, who has a horrible singing voice, try to sing) to make Apollo stop making those "Poem Nights", but nothing could stop him. Nothing.

So, naturally, when Hermes saw him writing, he panicked. Oh, Hades no! he thought. He was about to run away and declare himself dead (at least until Apollo had read his poem to the gods), but then he had an idea. An idea worthy of a god like him (which is not much, if we're being honest).

I am the god of thievery! he thought to himself, what could go wrong? Poor Hermes didn't know that the answer to that was "A lot". But let's not go hard on him, after all, it's not his job to be smart. That's Athena's job, and she was probably too busy reading one of her lame books she declared "good". The way Hermes saw it, no book could ever be "good". Reading was torture.

Hermes ran to find Apollo's Holy Cows. This was going to be easy.

A few hours later, after all the gods had been informed by Apollo himself that today was "Poem Night", the gods sat shifting on their places, all but Apollo and Hermes. Apollo was rather excited and had a smug look on himself, while Hermes was nowhere to be seen.

Apollo got up from his throne and cleared his throat, but before he could say anything, Ares pointed at Hermes's vacant seat. "Where is that little punk?" He said, sounding jealous Hermes had found a way to ditch Apollo's poetry.

"Work emergency." Apollo said. "Poor guy won't be able hear tonight's poem. He sounded sad about it, which of course, I perfectly understand." He said.

Zeus snorted. " 'Sad'? Why would someone in their right minds-" He started, but was interrupted by Athena.

"When, exactly, has Hermes's mind been right?" She pointed out. All the gods, even Poseidon, agreed.

"Well, anyway, I'll start now." Apollo said, smiling while everyone else groaned. "My first poem will be a haiku!" He announced eagerly while everyone else groaned even more.

"The cow has said—"

But before he could continue, a cow entered to where the gods were. "MOO!" The cow.. mooed.

"Huh?" Said Aphrodite. If Athena hadn't been trying to figure out what had just happenned, she would have asked Aphrodite that if "Huh?" was the only thing that could come out of her mouth.

"My.. cow?" Apollo asked, confused.

Just after that, a bunch of other cows came in, Hermes riding one of them.

"Run, little red cows, run!" He was shouting.

Almost all the gods got up their seats and ran in panic. The others went to hide using this as an excuse. The only ones who didn't do either of those choices were Apollo and Hermes.

Apollo was trying to control his cows with lame Haikus, while Hermes laughed in a corner. Best Poem Night EVER, He thought, just before a cow smashed into him.

At first he was shocked. And then he laughed. Still best Poem Night ever!