Chocolate Love & Cherry Stems
Derek Morgan sat across from Penelope Garcia in one of their favorite bars and stared open mouthed at the once "virgin" cherry stem that was now contorted into a knot. He had heard of women being able to tie one into a knot with their tongue but had never seen it done before. "You've got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed, leaning closer to inspect the knotted stem as if it were some sort of illusion.
Penelope laughed, the stem still held between her thumb and pointer finger. "What can I say? I'm good with my mouth." and with that, she winked at Derek.
Derek's eyes shot from the stem to her mouth and was surprised when he started to rise to occassion. It wasn't that what she said was anything naughtier then anything else she had said to him. In some ways it was actually more tame then some of the things that came out of that woman's mouth. What really got his mind reeling was that he was seriously wondering what other amazing things she could do with her mouth. He shook his head, feeling disorented. He needed to get his composure back because he just knew she was about to pick up on the ever growing erection he was beginning to sport. If he tried to turn in his seat to hide his lap under the table she would surely know that something was up.
Penelope's laugh faded as she felt the change of mood. Derek looked away, anywhere but at her. At first she started to get upset, thinking that he was disgusted by her comment that held a light suggestion of oral sex; but then when he shifted in his seat uncomfortably, she noticed the rather obvious tent forming in his pants. She smirked and decided to play with him a little bit, feigning innocence. "Although I've never tried, I could probably suck a golfball through a garden hose."
Derek shifted again, his breath catching in his throat. How could she not notice the state he was in? Images of her lips wrapped around his hardening member kept flashing in his mind. He had never thought of her as anything more than a friend, never allowed himself to really consider what it would feel like to take their extremely close bond to the next level. Why was this happening now? Sure, he had been drinking but he was hardly drunk since they had only gotten to the bar a half hour ago. He was only one beer in and working on his second. He didn't say anything, fearful of giving himself away. Instead he took a long hard swig off his longneck.
Penelope laughed to herself, watching him squirm in his seat. She felt almost giddy at the satisfaction she was getting from this line of torture; the fact that their roles had been reversed was not lost on her. She knew all too well what it felt like to be uncomfortably turned on while trying to keep just how much effect it was having under wraps. It was not easy. "You should see me eat a rocket pop sometime, sweetness, I can swallow the whole length and not gag." she purred, trying to push him over the edge. It worked.
"Damn woman, are you trying to kill me?" he asked her, and immediately shut his mouth. Knowing he gave himself away, he turned in his seat stiffly and downed the remainder of his drink.
"How does it feel?" she asked him softly, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
Derek's head snapped towards her, his eyes wide. "H-how does what feel?" he stuttered. He mentally kicked himself for sounding more like their co-worker and friend, Spencer Reid. He was Derek Morgan, the guy that could get a good precentage of the women he hit on to go home with him the first night he met them. He wasn't concieted, it was just a fact. There were very few who actually turned him down.
"How does it feel to know you're helpless in trying to hide the fact that you are uncomfortably turned on?" she asked him, a understanding tone in her voice. She hoped he would pick up on the implication that she had also felt that way before.
Derek stared hard at her for what seemed like several minutes but was really only a few seconds. The wheels in his head were turning. Did she mean she had felt this way towards him before, or just in general? He didn't answer her question, instead he asked one of his own, "How often have you felt that way?"
Penelope didn't bat and eyelash as she answered, but still couldn't help the blush that rose into her face. "Towards you or in general?" Might as well not drag it out anymore. She had always wondered if he knew just how deeply he always affected her. It was obvious to anyone with eyes,-or ears for that matter-, that she found him to be one of the most attractive guys she had ever laid eyes on; but was there any part of him that was aware that she constantly fought to hide how frustrated he could make her. Sometimes it was so strong that it would nearly bring her to tears.
Derek swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. If anyone had ever told him that he would be here having this conversation, or better yet, that he would be feeling such intense emotions toward his best friend; he would have told them they were crazy. Not only had he never thought of Penelope in a romantic or truely sexual nature, he thought their friendship was so strong that it could never change. "I'm not stupid, I know you think I'm a stud," he smiled softly, almost timidly at her, "but do you ever hope it would turn into something more then sexual banter?"
"Honestly, I've dreamed about what it would feel like to be in your arms, to feel your lips on me, to share a post coitle bed; but I'm a realistic girl and I know that you could have any woman you wanted, I would never even have the chance of you considering it, let alone actually wanting to be with me." She informed him, the atmosphere turning gloomy at her admission.
"Hey now," he said, sliding around the bench seat until he was sitting next to her; his no shrinking erection forgotten, "none of that, Pen, I love you. You are one of the most amazing women I have ever met and in spite of what you think of yourself, you are a very beautiful woman."
"All of this?" she gestured wildly to her curves.
"Yes. All of that and more. On top of having an impressive rack and an ass a black woman could be jealous of, you also have an incredibly sexy and inteligent mind. You care about the people you love and you see the beauty in everything in spite of all the darkness that surrounds us every day. You are fun to be with and there is never a boring moment when you are around." he told her, sliding his arm around her shoulder as he kissed her temple.
"And if you think all of that, how come we are only friends?" she asked. She was afraid of the answer but she knew that she couldn't go on lusting after him without knowing if she was only meant to ever be his friend.
"I'll admit, until tonight I have never thought of you in anything other than a platonic manner," when he saw her face fall, he tilted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes, "but if I was going to be with a woman like you, I would need to be one hundred percent sure that it would either be successful or that our friendship was strong enough that it would survive a failed relationship. I told you, Penelope, I love you. You are my sun in an otherwise dark universe. I don't think I could survive without having you in my life. You deserve so much more than I can give you, Baby Girl." he told her softly, his eyes never leaving her face.
"Don't sell yourself short, Derek, you have a lot to offer. You just need to realize that you do have what it takes and make a commitment." Her voice was determined, "If you keep running from your fears of commitment you will end up regretting it someday."
"I know," he agreed, "I just couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you." he told her, honestly. He broke eye contact with her before standing up. "Let me pay our tab."
"Derek!" she called after him but he just smiled at her and walked up to the till.
As Derek was paying for their tab, he allowed his mind to wander a bit. He imagined what it would feel like if he walked away from this conversation with Penelope and pretended that everything was the same. He would hurt her, that he was sure. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he blinked them back. How would he feel if he went back to just being friends with her. He had to admit that it upset him more then he would have thought. Then he forced himself to think about how he would feel if he pursued a relationship with her and he failed her. He hadn't been in a serious relationship for many reasons, fear of true intimacy, a wandering eye, and ultimately the fear that he could be responsible for breaking someone's heart. Derek felt stuck but he knew that there really was only one option for him and if he took that option, there was no going back; he'd have to give it his all. He made his way back to Penelope, his nerves feeling frayed at the edges.
"You didn't have to pay for my drinks, Sugarpie." Penelope greeted him, pulling her jacket up over her shoulders. She tried to smile but knew that it looked forced, she just had so much on her mind after such an intense conversation. "Share a cab?"
"You know it." he told her, pulling out his phone and dialing a cab service from memory. They often went out for drinks without the other members of the team. Normally it refreshed and relaxed him, but he felt nervous about how his decision would be recieved. After he hung up, he impulsively grabbed Penelope's hand, lacing her fingers in his own and pulled her out into the cold, crisp air. It felt great to fill his lungs with the freshness of it. He watched as Penelope shivered and pulled her to his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to help warm her.
"What's up with you?" she asked bluntly, his actions feeling strange. Maybe it wasn't his actions but the charge of electricity she felt running through her body that normally wouldn't be there. This energy was radiating off him, he seemed nervous.
"What would you say if I told you that I wanted to give this a chance?" he asked, pulling back so he could look her in the eye.
"Why?" she asked simply.
"Because I want to give this a chance." he said as if it was the most obvious thing, which it was.
"No, I meant to ask why you wanted to give this a chance." she clarified.
Derek sighed, tilted his head back in frustration and tried to come up with the right words to explain what he was feeling. "Because I want to find out where this would go... No," he corrected himself with a shake of his head, "I need to know where this would go." Derek released Penelope but didn't move away, just stuffed his hands into his jeans. "If I walk away from this and never look back then I know I would always wonder 'what if' and would never trust my first instinct about what I'm feeling. I'm afraid of hurting you but I realize that at this point, it doesn't matter what I do; I've crossed that line and there isn't anyway to go back to what we were before. The way I'm feeling right now, I'm nervous and excited and as much as it scares me, I'm fully aware that it means I'm making the right decision. The easy way out would be to walk away, but it would also be the wrong thing to do and both of us would pay for it."
Penelope smiled up at Derek. Her emotions conflicted each other. This was something she had been dreaming about for so long it felt like she had felt it forever, but she was afraid that this was a spur of the moment decision on his part and that he would end up regretting it at some point. If she went along with this and she lost him, she felt like she wouldn't be able to survive that kind of heartbreak. But Derek was right, if she walked away from this it would most likely destroy the special bond that had formed over the better part of a decade. Sure, they would always remain in each others lives in some way, but it would never be the same.
Derek watched Penelope as a vast array of emotions washed over her face. He wondered what she was thinking but stayed quiet to let her work things out in her head. He would never rush her, even though some of the thoughts that kept working into his head made him feel guilty. Before she had the chance to answer, the cab pulled up to the curb.
"My place or yours?" Penelope asked with a flirtatious grin, pulling open the door to the cab.