I don't own DB/Z/GT.
A/N: This is an introspective look at what I think Bardock would be like. I'm trying to keep his character as plausible as possible. I don't think that Bardock is a nice guy, but there are redeeming qualities in him that make his character likeable. I hope I didn't fail utterly at recreating what I think his character would be like. Enjoy and it would be nice to know what you think of it as well! :D
Time Capsule:
Momentarily, pure silence struck the room. Bardock's face was frozen in a scrutinizing expression. He was staring beyond the camera, at the alien named Rondo, no doubt. Bardock's eyes narrowed and a crease gathered between his thick eyebrows.
"What're you thinking?" he asked.
"You don't love your own sons," Rondo murmured. The magnitude of shocked emotion in his voice betrayed his former complacency.
Bardock chuckled, "I forget how most creatures feel about their progeny. Us Saiyans are unlike most living things. We don't coddle our young. I won't lie and say that I haven't been afflicted by an innate sense of protecting my children, but a true Saiyan learns to grow past such weakness. If the child cannot protect itself from birth, then it's weak. That child will never become a warrior. It's better off dead."
"How can… you let that happen?" was all Rondo could manage to say.
Bardock raised an eyebrow. "Easy, ya' just have to learn to not give a damn. The easiest way is to never get involved. Less exposure equals less disappointment."
Bardock waited an appropriate amount of time for a response. Having received none, he continued: "That's enough of that. You aren't a Saiyan. You will never understand our ways."
Bardock scratched his chin thoughtfully. "As I was saying, I never liked that kid much. Something about him rubbed me the wrong way. It doesn't feel as if we're even related. Wouldn't surprise me if the old lady whored around. Raditz probably isn't my legitimate son. I'll tell ya' something, Rondo. I've only once felt any sort of regret toward my son, once. It was completely random, and it wasn't for Raditz."
"What do you mean?" Rondo asked.
"It was directed toward my other brat, Kakarrot. Something compelled me to… well I don't even fuckin' know what I was gonna do. I just know that something compelled me to prevent Freeza's bastards from sending my son away to purge a planet. I think that I wanted to stop them. I'm not sure what I was doing. Either way, it doesn't matter. I was late as usual. He was gone already. At the time, I'd realized that the kid was so damn weak that he would probably die if sent on a mission. Hell, I must have been perfectly insane! So what if the kid kicked the bucket? A weak Saiyan is a useless Saiyan. You know? Survival of the fittest and all that good shit."
Bardock diverted his gaze away from the camera, and stared to his left, lost in thought. He spoke without thinking. "I guess I never thought of Raditz as my kid. I kind of resent him. He's a mediocre third class Saiyan. There isn't a damn thing that sets him aside from the others. He doesn't look like me. Why should I call him mine? Kakarrot on the other hand is even worse when it comes to distinguishing qualities. He's pitifully weak. I'm surprised that the doctors didn't just kill the miserable little runt. It was interesting that they named him Kakarrot. I wouldn't expect you to know, but it's a highly honorable name for a Saiyan. The Doc. said he named him Kakarrot because of his strong unceasing wails." Bardock paused for a moment to smirk. "I guess that may have saved him. At least he aint as mediocre as Raditz. I can associate with Kakarrot. There is no question that he's 100% my son. He looks just like me. I guess that's why I went mad for a moment and tried to save him."
"It ironic, Rondo. I've never felt so alive in my entire life, and it's all because I'm on the cusp of death. I can smell it on myself. I smell like a dying animal. My body is decaying, and I've yet to have left the damn thing. I've heard people say that being on missions gives them a rush because they're so close to death. They kind of have a 'stop and smell the pretty flowers' moment. That's not it though. The rush during a lethal mission comes from us Saiyan's innate desire to fight, to conquer, and to kill. Our adrenaline is going haywire. When I say that I feel alive – right now – I'm not talking about a rush of endorphins in my brain. I'm talking about clarity. I feel like I can see things for the first time. Before, I was living in a black and white world. I was either in the black, or I was in the white. But that aint how life works. We don't just live in the black or the white. We live in the gray. I can see the gray now!"
Bardock laughed at some inward joke, and looked at Rondo. "Sorry 'bout that. I didn't intend to get all philosophical and shit on you. I can just see better now, that's all."
"I can see how fucking stupid us Saiyans were. We got what was coming to us. King Vegeta is the biggest of us clowns. He made a contract with an insane megalomaniac. He sealed a deal with the closest thing there is to a devil."
"You feel resentful toward your King?" Rondo inquired.
Bardock appeared confused for a moment. He barked out coughs without covering his mouth. His face cringed. "My throat has been raw for days," he explained. He wasn't complaining. He was used to pain, but sometimes it would sneak up on him.
"You want some water?" Rondo asked.
Bardock cleared his throat before saying, "Naw… not necessary."
"I don't resent my King. We Saiyans have always been greedy bastards. At the time, everybody wanted a little chunk of power, and that's exactly what Freeza offered. He's a genius. He can con his own grandmother without any ounce of regret. Hell! He's kind of like us Saiyans. He don't give a shit about nobody but himself. Anyway, no use in dwelling over things I can't change. They're all in hell now, and I'll join the party soon enough. I was disappointed though. I warned my fellow Saiyans and they laughed at me. Dumb bastards… the whole lot of 'em."
Bardock twisted the red cloth in his hands as he stared off into space. His eyes were vacant, almost as if his soul had left his body and he was finally dead. This wasn't true of course; his hands were still playing with the fabric on his lap.
"Bardock," Rondo interrupted.
Bardock mechanically turned to look at Rondo, but his eyes were still distant as if he were somewhere else.
"If you could tell anyone else anything… would you want to tell anyone… something?" Rondo's tone of voice was uneasy, as if he were unsure as to why he was even asking more questions. Surely he'd gather plentiful enough information.
The silence was back again. The tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a butter knife. Bardock's hands stopped moving. He was still staring straight at Rondo. Either he hadn't really listened to a word Rondo had said, or he was seriously contemplating whether he would like to tell anyone anything. Perhaps he did want to tell somebody something, but he was considering what the point would be. Surely this person would never hear what he wanted to say. Whatever Bardock may have been thinking, he came to his conclusion at last. Slowly, the life returned to his eyes and they shifted to look directly into the camera lens.
Finally, his lips parted and in a gruff voice he tested out the word, "Kakarrot."
He paused, as if waiting for an answer, as if he knew that somewhere, some place, sometime in the future, someone was listening, Kakarrot was listening, and would answer him. He couldn't possibly know this, though. He didn't know that his son was watching him. He certainly didn't know that his son was listening to every spoken word with rapt attention… every movement, every twitch, every blink. He didn't know that between his pause, his son mouthed the word 'father' in return.
Bardock continued:
"It seems crazy, but a short while ago, the Saiyan race was alive and thriving. By now, you probably have heard about us. When you were born, I was off on a mission on a planet that was formerly called Kanassa. This planet caught Freeza's eye because its inhabitants had clairvoyant powers. My team and I killed off all of its inhabitants. They were a threat to him, and for good reason. They're tricky. We missed one, and he attacked us – attacked me to be specific. This Kanassan cursed me with the ability to see into the future. He wanted me to see the demise of my own people the way he had seen his people's fate. At first, I thought it was a load of bullshit, but I saw Freeza blow up our planet, and it triggered emotions in me I didn't even know I had. I tried to get help from my fellow Saiyan warriors, but they didn't believe me. I faced Freeza on my own. I guess you could say that I'm the reason Planet Vegeta was destroyed. Though, I'm sure it would have happened anyway, even if I hadn't interfered."
"By some crazy chance I survived… and here I am… dying. I'm sure you know why… if you're watching this. I guess I would tell you what our people are like, but I know that we must disgust you," Bardock paused to smirk at the camera. "You're probably confused about that. You should be just like us, a programmed killer from birth. The thing is… I know you're not. I know that you hit your head as a baby. I know that you lost your memory. I know a lot of things about you. I know that you're not what you seem. You aren't a weak third class Saiyan like I had initially assumed. You're the legendary Super Saiyan! I know that you will be the one to avenge our race. You will be the one to defeat Freeza. Now I can pass on in peace… because I know that you will accomplish where I have failed."
"You have every right to think of me as a monster. I have enjoyed killing just as any other Saiyan has. I realize now that I've been a hypocrite all my life. I don't want to be like Freeza anymore. I want to die free. I will always carry my atrocities with me. My demons will follow me for eternity. I will forever live in hell once I've passed on. It doesn't matter what you think of me, or what I think of you. Either way, I'm going to tell you what I think. I want to say thank you, Kakarrot. I'm proud of you. You're a better warrior than I could ever hope to be. You have avenged and redeemed that which is undeserving." Bardock said this as he clenched his blood-drenched bandana in his fist. "Thank you for that."
"Is that all, Bardock?" Rondo asked.
"One more thing," Bardock replied, smirking slightly. "Freeza, if you ever by chance watch this…" Bardock trailed off, lifting his free hand to flip Freeza the bird. "What now?"
Rondo turned off the recording, and he watched Goku's stunned expression with interest. "I have something of your father's. Would you like to have it?"
Goku shook himself out of his stupor. "Yes!"
Rondo left the room momentarily and came back with the red cloth Bardock had been clutching throughout the recording. He promptly handed it over to Goku.
Goku held it with trembling hands. His father had touched this. He raised the material up to his nose and sniffed it. It smelled pungent. If smelled stale. It smelled of iron, of blood and salty sweat. "This is covered in blood?"
"Yes," Rondo replied. "Bardock told me that when his companion Tora had died; he had soaked it with his blood… as a sort of tribute I suppose."
"Oh... where is... Bardock... buried?" Goku asked.
"I'll show you."
The only marker for Bardock's grave was a flimsy stick with a few numbers carved into it. His plot was dirt and gravel. There were a lot of markers in every direction. It was almost dizzying. Other than the dull numbers whittled into the wood, they were indistinguishable from each other.
Rondo left Goku alone with his thoughts. Goku kneeled to the ground and rubbed the dusty surface with his hand. He breathed out a sigh. "Dad…" he tentatively tested the word on his tongue. It sounded foreign to him. It was almost as if he were calling somebody by his own name. He tried it out again, "Dad."
He ran his dust-covered hand through his mottled mess of spiky hair. "I will never understand you, but I wish I knew you. I wish you were there…"
He pulled the bandana out of his pants-pocket. He squeezed it in his hand. It was rough and crusty, but it was oddly comforting. He knew what it meant to his father, and so it meant something to him as well.
"I know you said that it doesn't matter what I think of you, but I'm going to tell you anyway too. I don't think you're a monster. I think everyone deserves a second chance… I wish I met you."
Goku squeezed his eyes shut and listened to the wind whip dust against his body. Goku smiled. "You were a bad guy, but I think you wanted to change. You said so. I'm proud of you too. You stood up to Freeza when nobody else would."
Goku opened his eyes and lifted his head up to the sky. He smiled and took in a deep breath of air. He lifted his arms out and laughed. "I did it!" he shouted.
He examined the small stump of wood that marked his father's grave. Something was missing. He lighted a small amount of ki on his index finger-tip and carved the name Bardock into the wood. He grinned as he admired his handiwork.
"I hope you can rest in peace, father. I defeated Freeza. I've avenged our race!"
Something was still missing… Goku analyzed the grave for minute longer, subconsciously squeezing the blood-soaked cloth in his fist. He realized what was missing. "Of course…" he muttered.
He tied the red bandana around the grave marker, and smiled as it whipped in the wind like a proud little red flag. He touched the cloth once more before getting up to leave. "Goodbye father…"