This is a collaboration between myself and bluerain1984, it's ridiculously long so I'm going to be breaking it up into several parts, likely three or so. Don't worry, only the first chapter is new articles like this.
HARRY POTTER MISSING!
The Boy Who Lived unseen since the Final Task!
Mere days after the disastrous to the Triwazard Tournament, in which mysterious circumstances conspired to name Harry Potter the Triwizard Champion and resulted in the unexplained death of Hufflepuff contestant, Cedric Diggory, Champion Harry Potter disappeared! Gone without a trace as if snatched from his own bed in Gryffendor tower. His friends, already reeling from Diggory's death, are clearly devastated by this new tragedy. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, declined and interview but issued this statement. 'I have no doubt that young Mister Potter is still alive'. These strange goings on beg the question, is You-Know-Who back as Harry Potter claimed? Or did he murder young Cedric Diggory and now flees to escapes punishment?
Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet
YOU-KNOW-WHO RETURNS!
The dreaded Dark Lord is back!
5 Months after the disappearance of Harry Potter, the only one to have ever survived You-Know-Who's attack it has been confirmed that the recent rise in death and disappearances is in fact the work of the most feared wizard since Grindewald Despite panicked reassurances by the Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, who denies 'He' has returned, the evidence is undeniable. The amount of murders, disappearances and even one shocking first-hand account all lead this reporter to the solid conclusion that You-Know-Who is back with a force as great as before, and, according to the witness, a terrifying new 'pet' to do his bidding. HE IS BACK!
Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet
HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED DEFEATED!
Dark Lord devoured by his own pet!
In the dead of night a group of Aurors and vigilante wizards infiltrated the hideout of You-Know-Who, a location that was discovered to be the former home of the renowned Malfoy family. The wizards and witches involved in the raid bravely dispatched the Death Eater army, discovering at last the identity of the Dark Lord's 'pet'. A juvenile basilisk, kept near You-know-Who's throne room, used to torture and kill his captives, including the Auror Alestor Moody, found murdered without a mark on him two months earlier. Famed and powerful wizard, Albus Dumbledore, led the charge, determined not to loose any more to You-Know-Who. Just as Dumbledore's forces were being pushed back a stray spell shattered the basilisk's cage and the monstrous serpent joined the fray. To the shock of all it attacked its own master! With a single snap He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was slain and devoured by the very creature he claimed to have dominion over. It is a miracle and a blessing that the Dark Wizard has finally, truly been destroyed. The fate of the monster that caused his downfall has yet to be determined.
Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet
Deadly Serpent Retrieved and Kept at Hogwarts!
Compassionate act or deadly mistake?
After his glorious victory against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Albus Dumbldore, against all advice and better judgment, did not destroy You-Know-Who's basilisk! He is housing the deadly beast at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as if it were a harmless kneazle! To quote Dumbledore 'Without its eyes any real threat the creature posses is negligible at best. It is no more dangerous than a manticore without fangs, or a peryton without horns'. Still, many parents are outraged, and talk has sprung up of replacing the old wizard, who, many agree, has seen the last of his glory days.
When asked for comment, Rubeus Hagrid, groundskeeper and current caretaker of the basilisk said, 'Asmodues is a good snake! Once you get to know 'im, he's quite affectionate'. This testimony from a being who was expelled from Hogwarts 50 years ago, from a half-giant with a well known love for excessively dangerous monsters. Most troubling indeed.
Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet