Valiant.
Queen Lucy the Valiant.
Staring out at the sparkling sea before her, Lucy repeated the name over and over in her head; trying to wrap her mind around the title she'd been given. Never in her life had Lucy ever thought of herself as brave, and not once had she considered herself valiant.
She'd always been just plain old Lucy Pevensie, sister to the lovely Susan. To look at her, there was nothing quite extraordinary about Lucy, she was just another girl. Just another face in the crowd. She'd never thought of herself as special, or as anything worth fussing over. In her own eyes she wasn't as pretty, as talented, and charming or as clever as other girls. She was simply simple.
She'd heard what other people had said about her, behind her back.
"It's a pity Lucy didn't inherit some of her sister's beauty…"
"It's a shame she's so shy…"
"Pleasant girl, that Lucy, but like her sister…"
As long as Lucy could remember she'd resented her plainness, and although she loved her older sister dearly, she'd always unconsciously withheld some of that love, unknowingly resenting her. She never once meant to, and no one – not even Lucy herself knew of her own hidden feelings. Feeling of being overshadowed, feelings that she never would be quite as good as Susan… or Peter… or even Edmund.
Susan was praised for her beauty, Peter was praised for his charm and Edmund, even he was praised, not necessarily for his good behavior, but for his cleverness. Lucy always wondered where it left her.
They'd all changed so much; they weren't the same four children who'd first stepped through the wardrobe. They were different people, changed people, and they would continue to change, things would never be the same again.
What now? Lucy was no longer Lucy Pevensie, but Queen Lucy the Valiant. Still, no matter how many times she repeated the name, her name, it still didn't feel like it truly belonged to her. Inside, she still felt like plain old Lucy… a Lucy she no longer wanted to be.
Lucy gripped the rail of her hanging balcony tighter, her knuckles turning white as she looked out over the beach, watching the waves crashing against the sand. Somehow, she felt as if she too were being thrown against the rough sand, the mess of water before her became the mess of her mind.
"Oh Aslan… what were you thinking?"
A single tear rolled down her cheek as Lucy contemplated if she could ever live up to her title.
Lucy had always been protected by her older brothers and sister, she'd never had to be brave before, they'd been the brave ones. Time after time they'd shouldered the burden of her fears, helping her get through them one at a time. Peter had stood by her side as she clung to his arm, knees trembling as they walked by a frightening neighborhood dog. Susan had let her crawl into bed with her at night when every shadow looked like a monster. Even Edmund had offered to catch her when she jumped into deep water for the first time. Her fear had seemed small with her siblings by her side.
I gave them to you for a reason dear one…
Lucy felt a warm breeze fill the air, she smiled softly to herself, and she could almost hear Aslan's voice. It sounded so real and just the thought of him filled her with peace, a peace she'd desperately needed to feel again.
Come to me dear one, put your trust in me and I will give you strength, you will run and not grow weary, you will walk and not faint…
Lucy closed her eyes, letting Aslan's presence fill her. The setting sun was still warm on her face, its soothing rays bringing her comfort. She wasn't sure how long she stood still, drinking in the final hours of daylight, but the whole time she spent thinking.
Maybe the name Aslan had given her wasn't supposed to describe the way she felt about herself now, perhaps the name was something she would grow into. Like a promise of what her future held in store for her. When she thought of it that way, it didn't sound frightening, it didn't sound uncertain. It almost sounded beautiful… a promise for the future. It was more than that, it was a promise from Aslan, and Aslan never broke his promises. His word was always pure, always true. No matter what Lucy, and all of Narnia, could trust in his perfect will. Later in life, Lucy would look back on this moment and realize it was the moment that her faith was born.
It was the day she come to know that no matter what, no matter when, Aslan could always be trusted.