Chapter Five

Part Two

Seeing Callie's defeated look, Arizona held back tears as she tried to figure out how to put her feelings into words that Callie would hear.

"Callie, listen. I know that..."

Anger instantly replaced defeat as Callie shot back, interrupting her. "No, youlisten, Arizona. The last time this happened, you broke me. You said my lifelong dream was irrelevant because it didn't fit into your 'plan'. So, you know what? If this is another selfish cop out to avoid having a kid with me, I don't want to hear it. Grow up or get out of this relationship." Callie stood and pulled away from Arizona's grasp, furiously brushing past her girlfriend muttering incoherent Spanish, rushing instantly toward the door.

"God dammit! Listen to me!"

Callie stopped dead in her tracks before she turned the handle. If Arizona was reprimanding her like this, she knew she'd better listen, regardless of how pissed she was, even if it was just from afar.

"You always do that! You jump to conclusions and then you distance yourself and then completely pull away! You lost your money and tried to break up with me by being a bitch. Don't ignore me and avoid another problem. Just...listento me."

Callie pursed her lips and shook her head, walking over to the bed; she sat down, folding her arms across her chest. "Then talk, Arizona."

"Just because I need to tell you something, doesn't mean I'm changing my mind about having a baby. Okay? Five minutes ago, I toldyou how desperately I wanted one with you, and now you're freaking out and telling me I 'all of the sudden am trying to avoid it'? Listen to me for once. For the love of God, Callie, all I wanted to say is that I want to have the baby myself!"

"Yeah, but you have a knack for walking away or leaving altogether when you...wait, what?"

Arizona picked at the hem of her shirt and fidgeted uncomfortably. "I want to have our baby." Nodding to herself, she hardened her features, ready for a rejection or a 'hell no' or…somethingto happen, but nothing did.

A few seconds passed with no sound from across the room and, chancing it, just for a moment, Arizona looked up and could see the wheels turning in Callie's mind. She could see the broken Spanish and the confused English written all over her face, but most prevalent was anger. Building, and building, and it terrified her. Feeling the worst defeat she had ever experienced in her life, she sat quietly, begging her welling tears not to fall.

It was true, she'd never really wantedchildren; she was a surgeon, not a mother, and she made no pretenses about it. But until this moment, she'd never really understood how Callie must have felt four years ago when she walked away from their relationship because she didn't want a child.

Before Arizona could muster up an apology...an excuse...anything, Callie spoke. "I need to understand why. Giving birth isn't yourdream, Arizona."

Arizona gave Callie a dirty look. "Dreams can change, Calliope. One of mine was to live next door to my brother in a cul-de-sac and raise our families together. Guess that 'dream' won't be coming true, huh?"

Callie scoffed. "Don't bring your brother into this. That's just...just...alazyargument."

Arizona laughed. "Well, excuse me, Ms. High and Mighty, you've always wanted a baby, sure, but you also could never stick to with whom you wanted it! At least I knew if I was going to give in and have a family with someone, deviate from mydreams, I'd do it with a woman. You like to keep your options open. George, Mark, Me, Mark, Me. Please."

Callie recoiled and shook her head incredulously. "Seriously?"

"I want to have this baby because..." She sighed, feeling the weight of the stress on her shoulders already. "Because if I don't have a biological bond with our child, one already built in for me, I'm afraid… I'm terrifiedthat I'll fail as a mother. That I'll never be as good at it as you will be and he or she will grow up hating me or thinking I was the worst person they could have ever been born into a family with."

Callie did a double take. While there were many excuses she was formulating in her mind as to what exactly was going through Arizona's...that was not one of them. Hell, that wasn't even on the spectrum of where she thought she'd go with this little "talk." Callie was shocked. Stunned. In complete and utter disbelief. Who was this woman and where did she come from? Callie could only watch her and wait for her to continue, no doubt with another shocking revelation.

Arizona closed her eyes, shaking her head and tilting it back on her neck. This was the exact reaction she had feared, and her reason for withholding her innermost desire on the subject. But now, with her heart lying out bare between them, she ignored her urge to cradle it and retreat, choosing to continue to make herself vulnerable in hopes that she could somehow make Callie understand.

"I never even thought I'd be able to entertain the idea of becoming a mother. And then, all of a sudden, I wanted it just as desperately as you did. So, I had to plan; evaluate every possibility that could happen, good and bad. I knew that, in order to do this with you...to create a family with you, I needed to feel a more concrete, natural, biological connection to our child than just being the...'other mother.' I need you to at least try to understand that. I'd never try to...steal your thunder. That's not what this is, I promise. I just...need a little extra help. Help that you don'tneed because you'll be a great mom and you already know that. I don't. Okay?"

Callie didn't budge. Sure, her heartstrings tugged a little bit at her girlfriend's confession, but it still felt...impulsive, perhaps? "Biology doesn't automatically mean you'll...want it or...or...share a strong bond with a kid, Arizona."

"So, you're allowed to want the biological connection? To need it, as you've been telling me for four years...but when I want the same thing it's irrelevant? If it's not already there, why do you insist on carrying our baby? If it's no big deal, why can't I, if it'll help me be a better mother, in myeyes?"

"I've wanted this forever, I've never wavered on that until it meant not having you. And now that I have you...this is what you suddenlywant? After not even wanting a kid, period? I'm not buying it. I think this is just another example of your control issue rearing its ugly head. I love you, I do, but this is all too sudden for me to believe even a word of it."

"What are you suggesting, then?" Arizona countered, eyes narrowing to angry slits. "That I decided to bring this up again, years later, just to say, 'Hey, Callie, I'm still out to get you and your wondrous dreams are totally irrelevant to me? That's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to make you understand that I...get it now. Why you wanted to have a baby so badly. And I'm asking you if you can let me have this one thing so that I'm more comfortable with this hugechange. So, why are you attacking me?"

Callie stood and began pacing in front of her. "Because! This is mydream, don't you get that? To carry a child and be a mother. And if I "give in" to you just so that you'll have a kid with me at all, I..."

Arizona held out her hands in protest. "I never oncegave you an ultimatum!"

"Oh? Sure seems like it. Let me carry the baby, let me have my newfound dream of giving birth to a baby and then I'll be a mother and we'll all live happily ever after! Don't and I'll be a terrible mother and the kid will hate me and then I won't want it, yadda yadda. Sure sounds like one to me. Just give it up already, Arizona."

"Give up?" Arizona repeated, standing suddenly with her arms folded across her chest. "You think you're the one 'giving in' and 'giving up' your dreams here? My dream was to go to Spain, to build an amazing career, help the tiny humans in Africa, something I've wanted my whole life, and then live with a woman I was madly, furiously in love with. That was it. I changed my dreams to be with you! What did you change to be with me? You still get your inappropriate 'friendship' with Mark, you still get to be with me, and now you still get to have a baby, regardlessof which one of us delivers it. Is this really so much to ask you to compromise on?"

"WOAH. You always bring Mark into everydiscussion we have about our lives. I really wish you would just give that up already! If this is you trying to one up him in my life, or a way to ensure that he's not fathering this child that's just...ridiculous."

"See? That's exactlywhat I'm talking about. You expect me to just give up and "let it go" when I want something or if I have feelings about something you don't agree with or like. So that you can have your perfect life, just like you've always planned it out to be and I get...what? The satisfaction of not arguing with you? Of making you happy all the time by putting my dreams and life and feelings aside? You know what? Fine. Here I am, letting go, giving in, just so you won't think I'm 'ridiculous.' Great. Fucking perfect."

Callie turned in shock with wide eyes to face Arizona. "Are you kidding me right now? This is my fault? I thought you wanted a 'perfect' life with me? I knew it was only a matter of time before you walked away again. Just GO. Give in, give up, whatever, you're good at that." Doing exactly that, she turned and swiftly left the room, slamming the door behind her and storming off through the apartment, grabbing her keys and leaving Arizona to sulk in her "poor me, my dreams are crushed" stupor.

Arizona fell back onto their bed, rubbing her temples slowly; she winced at the sound of the front door slamming in Callie's wake. She exhaled in a frustrated huff and pulled her girlfriend's pillow over her face. Two hours ago, she had thought she was coming home to what would be one of the most incredible, life-altering nights of her life. And now, instead, she was alone in their bed, wondering exactly how many more words it would take for her heart to break in two.

As that particular thought crossed her mind, an obnoxiously loud vibration sounded from the back pocket of her jeans. She wiggled around to retrieve it, sliding her thumb across to read the incoming text, presumably from Callie.

"Don't wait up, I'm sleeping at the hospital after my shift. 3."

With that, she received her answer. It took a mere eleven words for Callie to break her heart completely. Again. And with a beautiful, passive aggressive heart emoticon to push the knife in that much deeper.

Four days later, things had cooled off considerably. They didn't say much to each other, just idle talk, asking about each other's day, falling into bed at night as far on either side as they could be. They were "fine," but fine meant pretty shitty. It was as expected. They had the tendency to do that to each other when things got rough; give the cold shoulder and pretend like nothing had happened while each stewed and festered until one burst and gave in.

After a mundane morning at the hospital, Arizona moped and pouted her way into one of the surgical galleries to eat her lunch, thankfully and peacefully alone. As soon as Altman made the first cut, Alex popped his shoulder over the door and leaned in, grunting to announce his presence. He received another grunt of acknowledgment in return. Arizona wasn't in the mood to "talk about it" or any of that crap he would try to get out of her.

He was a great guy underneath his gruff and standoffish exterior, and Arizona truly did adore Alex Karev. Working with him made her day a little bit brighter because even though his attitude was often on the poor side, he was probably the only one on her staff that had what it took to work in Peds. He was diligent, focused, caring, hardcore, and a guy who really reminded her of her brother. Taking a liking to him became like second nature. And she'd continue to like him, as long as he didn'tbother her today.

"Where have you been? It's like you've completely disappeared. The NICU hasn't seen you in three days, and that's the only place you've been for like, the last two weeks. What gives? Your baby fever die out or something?"

Rolling her eyes, she responded. "Karev, I'm really not in the mood to do this right now. Can't I just eat in peace?"

Shrugging, Alex stood and made his way to the doorway. He couldn't care less whether or not he stayed. He was just trying to be a good guy to her because she'd always been cool to him. He knew if he walked slowly enough, she'd get over herself and blurt something random out, probably about Callie and after she got it allout, she'd be happy and perky and her annoying self all over again and he could actually do his job without having to deal with Callie's moodiness and Arizona's resulting gloominess.

Huffing in frustration, Arizona slammed her arms down on the armrests of the chair and growled a little under her breath. "Okay, fine!"

Alex smirked offhandedly and sat down.

"Callie and I are fighting about babies and I didn't want to go into the NICU with bad baby vibes and force that onto all the sick ones, okay?"

"Dude, you still won't have a kid with her? I thought you resolved that forever ago. I mean, Callie's kind of a bitch sometimes, but she just wants a screaming, pooping kid. Just man up and give it to her."

She threw her hands in the air and turned to face him. "That's just it! I wantto give her one. I just want to give birth to it, so she thinks I'm being a terrible person and ruining her dreams or something. I just want to have the kid!"

Alex eyed her cautiously, worried about hitting a nerve, but still oddly curious. "Then..." he paused, really wishing he weren't having this conversation, "are swimmers the problem? I mean, I figured Mark would..."

"No! They aren't!" Arizona said, turning away in repulsion. "And ew. Stop calling them…gross man words. Mark will have nothing to do with fatheringmychild if I have any say in its parentage."

"Calm down, it was just a guess. They're all close and buddy buddy and stuff, he seemed like the best option for you lesbians and whatnot."

Arizona continued quickly, now on a subject about which she was endlessly passionate. She could go on all day discussing her distaste for all things Mark Sloan. "Yeah, don't remind me. I'm sorry, I just...don't know why everyone assumes hehas to be the dad. Or that he even should!"

Alex stared off below the glass at the surgery Altman was now performing beneath them. Protruding his bottom lip and nodding nonchalantly in that calm, cool, collected way men do, he spoke suddenly and without hesitation. "You want mine?"

Arizona did a double take and then looked at him like he'd grown eight heads. "Wh-what?"

Alex shrugged his left shoulder. "Well, yeah. Do you want mine? My swi..." He caught himself and lowered his voice. "Y'know...sperm, if you want to use it to get your kid, you can."

"I mean, that's…great of you to offer, but don't you...want that for if you find a wife and want a baby of your own?"

Alex scoffed. "My family is messed up. And that's a freaking understatement. Every girl I've ever dated has been bat shit crazy. I don't wanna have a kid with some nutty chick with my family's messed up history. But you and Callie, y'know, maybe you guys can prove that the whole 'nature vs. nurture' thing really works, and have a great kid come from my genes without me having to screw it up by being its dad. If you want my…" He puffed out his chest in a show of his self-assured masculinity. "Swimmers. They're yours. Tell me when and where, and I'll be there."

Arizona smiled, overwhelmed by his generosity and her gratitude. "You know, when I first started here, everyone warned me that youwould be the hardest to work with." She paused while Alex grunted, pleased with his apparent reputation. "But I have come to respect you so much more than any colleague I've ever worked with. You're a good man, Alex. And, surprisingly, a good friend."

He shuffled uncomfortably, looking anywhere but directly at her. "They're just swimmers, you don't have to get all...mushy and emotional on me."

"But I do," she argued, "Because I'm not sure people appreciate you the way you deserve. And what you're willing to do for me, for us, is a big deal."

"Yeah, yeah," he shrugged. "You're the only boss who's ever taken me seriously. Even if I talk about your boobs and yell at idiot parents sometimes."

Arizona shook her head with a smirk, patting him on the shoulder as she exited the room, leaning back into the doorway. "Just so you know, this is your free pass to stare at them any time for the next year. After that, I'm pulling rank on you."

"You know, you're lucky I like you. You're the hottest chick in this hospital and I don't even get to make a kid with you the fun way."

"Hey, you already did it 'the fun way' with the kid's other parent," she reminded him, "So, you're really lucky that I like you,or you'd have no swimmers to offer to anyone."

Alex rolled his eyes in response, quickly changing the subject. "So, about this Callie fight. Do we need to talk about it, or are you good?"

Arizona nodded slowly, sighing to herself, walking slightly further into the room so that the entire hospital didn't know her life story by two o'clock. She paused in thought, not really sure how to respond. "I don't understand why it's even an issue. I'm giving her a child, which is exactly what she wanted, but she told me I'm stealing her dreams from her. So, she does want a child, but only on her terms. And only if sheis its mother."

"Well," he began, stepping closer to her and lowering his voice once more, respecting the privacy she was clearly trying to reserve. "I've seen you more than anybody else with those kids, for a handful of years now. You'd make a great mother, biological or otherwise. You treat them with the respect they deserve. Most adults wouldn't even think to do that. You have a gift with them."

Arizona shrugged and shook her head lightly, almost as if in shame. "Just because I'm good with my patients, doesn't mean I won't mess up my own child beyond repair. I've seen it happen, Karev. What if I mess it up? What if I end up being a bad mother? I'm not bad at anything!"

"Don't worry about whether or not you'd be a good mother; those things are usually trial and error anyway. And besides…with my DNA? That would be one good lookin' kid. And we both know being attractive doesn't hurt anyone's chances in life. Plus, if it's hot, you can probably stand to screw it up a little and he or she will still turn out just fine."

Arizona looked up with wide, expectant eyes. "You think so?"

Alex nodded. "Duh. My parents did a number on me, but I'm a freaking attending now. I came out okay once I got my shit together. If I can do it, your kid will definitely be okay. Plus, it'll have a kick ass big brother to help too, if you'd like that."

"As long as you promise to high five them in the hallways and teach them how to throw a football. Because I couldn't throw a spiral if my life depended on it." Arizona smiled at him, pleased that she'd found at least one good man to have in her everyday life. "You know, my brother died a long time ago, but he would have liked you. And I think he'd like it even more if you could do the things he won't be able to with my kid. You're as close to a brother as I've got. But," she paused, pointing a finger towards his chest. "No burping the alphabet or having spitting contests. That's sogross."

Alex smirked, checking his watch as he walked past Arizona, leaving the room in a hurry. "We'll see. Sometimes grossing chicks out is fun. Especially you. I've got a surgery in ten, so…see ya."

Arizona rolled her eyes and gave him a halfhearted wave as he rushed down the hallway. She did feel better, and she couldn't believe talking to Alex Karev had helped with the things she'd been stressing over for weeks. "Huh," she chuckled. "Who knew?" Following Alex's path down the hall, she kicked out her Heely's and glided her way to the locker room, determined, relieved, and in slight disbelief that she'd just had a conversation of that magnitude with, of all people, Alex.

Callie awoke from a nap across from the hospital to the sound of her phone blaring from the table next to her. She fumbled around aimlessly in the dark, twisting herself in knots within the sheets in her attempt to silence the offending noise.

Hearing the chime of a missed call, she swore quietly and sat up, squinting at the brightness of the phone's screen on the nightstand. The caller ID read "Little Sister," and for a moment she feared the worst. Had Aria miscarried? But just as quickly, she pushed that thought away; it wouldn't be the only possible reason for Aria to call, just because she was pregnant. Taking a deep breath and choosing the "call" option under her contact information, she held the receiver to her ear, enduring the monotonous ringing patiently.

Aria answered with a panicked sob. "Oh, thank God! Where were you? Why didn't you answer me the first time? What-"

Callie rolled her eyes at her sister's dramatics, falling back into her pillows and throwing her free arm across her eyes. "Aria. Hey. Calm down, please? I had to work the night shift; I was just taking a nap. What the hell is going on?"

Aria rambled on for several minutes, devastated over the fact that her boyfriend had informed her that he didn'twant to get married after all, and that he got a promotion that would have him travelling every two weeks.

"Which," she fumed, "was his way of saying that he has no interest in being our child's father. Can you believe that? You're just… so lucky."

Callie scoffed, glaring at the photo of her with Arizona on the wall near the bedroom door. "You'd be surprised."

"What are you talking about? Arizona wants to have a kid with you, even though you're clearlybeing a bitch to her, and, as you've experienced in the past, she'll pretty much stay with you through anything. Africa notwithstanding, but that was kind of your fault anyway for being such a brat…"

Callie interrupted incredulously, "Excuse me, you're supposed to be on my side! Especially since you called mesobbing over Mr. Right Now."

Aria scoffed. "Just because I haven't found someone worthy of sharing the rest of my life, doesn't mean I don't know it when I see it. She's it, Cal. You should know that by now. And being a jerk about this kid thing isn't helping to make sure she wantsto stay with you. Why aren't you two speaking again?"

Callie continued defensively, rushing through her words in an attempt to sound like less of a jerk. "I know she's it. I never said she wasn't! I just don't think it's fair that she all of a suddenwants to take away my dream of being a mother!"

"Is she, though? All she said was that she wanted to carry the child, there's nothing vindictive or malicious about that. You still get to be a mother; you're just being selfish about it. Let her have the kid so she doesn't freak out when it's born and constantly be afraid. Is it really terrible to let her have the first one? It's not like you can't have more if you guys want. Just let her have this one, even if it wasn't her original dream, like yours. If she thinks she needs this, entertain the idea and grow up! You still get Arizona, you still get your kid, and you still get to live happily ever after. There arenoyour'relationship woes.' For once, I just…needed my big sister."

Callie's heart dropped and her throat started to burn with unshed tears. She'd neglected to acknowledge the fact that her sister's boyfriend had basically left her alone, the whole reason for their phone call.

"The facts are that I'm twenty-two years old, three months pregnant, one month into grad school and I am pretty much alone in all of that. Mom and Dad have kind of cut ties with me since I won't be getting married anymore, so, I really wanted to hear my sister tell me everything is going to be okay because she's been through it already. So, can we set aside The Callie Show and please just…" She sighed. "Just for once, tell me what I want to hear so I'll feel better."

Callie closed her eyes and silently took a deep, calming breath. Aria was right; she had a tendency to get carried away when even the most minute of things happened to her in fear of the absolute worst. She didn't mean to be that way, it just sort of…happened without her consent.

"You're the strongest person I know, you always have been. So, yes, of course you're going to be okay. If you need to get away, you know where to find me."

"Are you sure you'd have room for me?" Aria questioned teasingly "You know, with your giant ego?"

Callie laughed, rolling her eyes with a smile. "Point taken. And even if we don't, we can always make room for my baby sister."

"Thanks," Aria replied warmly, all evidence of her previous disdain removed from her voice. "Now. What are you going to do?"

Callie sighed, "I'm…going to talk to her about it."

"Good girl," Aria praised. "Tell Arizona I love her. And I love you."

"Love you too, kid." Callie grinned; even if Aria had to put her in her place sometimes, she was still the big sister.

Never one for goodbyes, however informal it may be, Aria ended the call with just a laugh and a click, leaving Callie to her thoughts again, which were considerably more pleasant now that she was fully aware of just how selfishly she had been acting.

She wasn't alone for more than ten minutes when the bedroom door slammed open, banging against the wall loudly. Arizona dropped her coat and bag in the middle of the doorway, rolling her shoulders back to shake her nerves out of her body. She took one look at Callie, inhaling deeply as she did when she had something important to say. When they locked eyes, as though they could read each other's mind, their faces dropped; all the anger had released from their bodies, and they were overwhelmingly thankful for the conclusions to which they had come during their time apart.

With a half-smile and a nod, Arizona rushed to the end of the bed as Callie crawled on all fours to meet her there; they stopped abruptly just before an embrace, and with nervous excitement, they opened their mouths and spoke simultaneously once again.

"I want you to have our baby."

Both stopped and just stared, breathlessly in awe of one another, and marveling at how stupid it was that they weren't kissing, touching, loving,anything other than standing there gawking at each other like idiots. They rushed forward, colliding forcefully in a deep, passionate kiss as they fell onto the bed, murmuring various forms of "I missed you," "I love you so much," and "I'm sorry" as they scrambled upward, tangled unceremoniously, to the head of their bed to make up for lost time.