Chapter 1

Spencer Reid was silent, he usually was one to randomly spout out random unnecessary facts at top speed. However ever since the case with Tobias Hankel, Reid had been quieter than usual. After the hugs that were exchanged when the rest of the members of the group had found Reid, Spencer hadn't touched a single member of the team. When one of the others made a move to touch him, Reid shied away. At night the only way that Spencer got any sleep was shooting up the dilaudid that he had taken from Hankel's pocket. In an effort to conserve the precious drug, Reid had taken to downing large cups of coffee by the dozen. the coffee ensured that he didn't have to relive the torture over and over again.

He stretched out his long legs in front of him, knees cracking. Slowly he crossed his ankels under the table. Spencer's desk was covered with stacks of paper, files that he had yet to read. In the time before Hankel all these files would have been long finished, he probably would have taken some files from his collegues. But today was different. Lately every waking moment Reid was plagued by memories of what had happened to him. He was distracted and it was showing in his job. Spencer had started being late for meetings and there was that time a couple months ago that he had missed the plane. Gideon was the only one who he knew knew about his drug problem, Spencer hadn't been able to find it in himself to tell either Morgan, JJ, Garcia or Prentiss what Tobias had done to him, how despite his begging Tobias had forcibly injected him with dilaudid.

"Hey Spence!" Reid jumped when JJ's voiced startled him out of his thoughts, he looked up meeting her eyes. "We have a new case. Team meeting in five." Spencer just nodded and looked back down at his hands clasped in his lap. He couldn't continue to live like this, Spencer's eyes glanced down at his clothed covered arm. Reid knew the statistics of an addict recovering let alone staying clean. he knew this was something he couldn't do alone.

"Reid! you coming?" Morgan's voice rang through the bullpen. Spencer nodded before pulling himself to his full height and walking across the room.