Just the first part of something that has been haunting my mind for a while. Uhm, yeah...There will probs be something following this, though I'm not all too sure...I dun own anything.

When I lie on the ground, body charred and beaten. Scarred and injured. Bleeding and fading- Yes, I am dying. When I lie on the ground, I do not know how you react.

But I know you won't cry.

You won't cry, since you, my dearest older brother, are simply incapable of doing so. You wouldn't be able to cry even if you wanted to. I tested this theory once, you know, by kicking you you-know-where. It was a lucky shot, since you just hadn't seen it coming. Apparently you hadn't deemed me low enough to aim at such a spot. Hah, think again. But no tears sprang in your eyes, even if every other male I know who got hit there couldn't help his vision getting blurry, obscured by fluids. You winced, you frowned, you cursed, and you nearly killed me afterwards, but your eyes remained the same as ever.

My heart is beating slowly, carefully, and with every beat it pumps blood out of the countless wounds decorating my body. I'm a half-demon, but this is enough to kill me. My lungs hurt, burnt from the inside, my head hurts, skull cracked and aching, my limbs hurt, slashed open and torn apart, my eyes hurt, not really seeing anything but blurry colours and my heart hurts.

Because I know I won't see you anymore.

It had been years, centuries, since we had our last 'real' fight. Sure we argued all the time, and then we brawled, and kicked and hit and bit- until it slowly developed into a different kind of biting, a different kind of hurting and a different kind of interaction. But we didn't fight like we used to anymore. Until about two days ago.

I don't even remember why we fought, but before I knew it we were there again, swords in our hands, at our throats, as out every move was filled with the intent to kill.

We parted in a hateful way, and I didn't see you anymore, and didn't want to either.

But now that I know I won't, there's nothing I want more than to see you.

Funny, isn't it?

I try to laugh, but only end up coughing up chunks of blood, flesh- chunks of throat.

Sesshoumaru, I don't wanna die here, like this. I don't want the last time we were together to be filled with anger and hatred and both of us wishing we had never met. I don't wanna lie in a puddle of my own blood, wondering if you'll find my corpse, wondering if you'll care enough to find it. Sesshoumaru, I don't wanna know that you won't cry.

Cause I want you to.

Okay, now that's selfish, stupid and plainly impossible. Don't blame me, it's the bloodloss talking. It's selfish since a part of me doesn't want you to be sad- but another part of me does. It really, really does. It's stupid since I'm not supposed to care whether you care or not. I'm not. But I do. So very, very much. And last but not least, it's impossible since, as I said earlier, you don't cry. Period.

I feel my lungs finally give up, my vision blurring even more before it finally starts fading slowly, my heart beating slower and slower and slower and slower and…slower…

Just before I die, I see a familiar white blur, and I smile.

I got to see you...

Yush, sesshy's a white blur. Live with it, as I mentioned his eyesight was starting to fail. So yeah, he found him, and Inuyasha got to see him one last time, even if only as a white blur XD See, I'm not completely heartless. Just 98%

...HOW COME I ALWAYS WRITE DEPRESSED STUFF?