A/N: This is the second part of my 'Hey, wouldn't it be funny if (insert K-On! character here) did something nuts?'. The first one featured Yui and ninjas if anyone hasn't been scared off by that story already. For this piece I was inspired by Yōko Hikasa's (Mio's seiyuu) performance in the anime Seitokai Yukindomo. And a bit from the anime Occult Academy. Well, just read and review if ya want.
disclaimer: I don't own anything.
The Light Music Club was having a tentatively normal day. Tentative because Mio was acting very strange.
"Let's practice for the upcoming show right now!" Mio demanded excitedly over tea.
"Mio-chan, you seem excited today!" Yui commented as Mugi served up cakes.
"Of course I am! How can I not be? The thought of being on stage with everybody looking at me, with the high probability of me flashing my panties again," Mio spoke passionately as she started unbuttoning the top buttons of her shirt. "Just thinking about it gets me so excited." Mio closed her eyes and started breathing shallowly in an erotic manner.
The bite of cake Ritsu had just taken dropped from her mouth back onto her plate as she stared at Mio.
"Er… what?" Azusa sweat-dropped at Mio's unexpected admittance.
"Oh my~." Mugi giggled with her hand to her cheek.
"Mugi, this cake is soooo yummy!" Yui was moaning, apparently not listening.
"G-G-GHO-GHOST!" Ritsu jumped out of her chair and screamed into Mio's face. The room fell silent for a second in expectation.
"Yes! Scream for me just like that!" Mio moaned, looking up at Ritsu through her eyelashes seductively. Ritsu gaped stupidly at her childhood friend before she passed out on the floor, foaming at the mouth.
"Oh no, Mio broke Ritsu!" Yui exclaimed, though she wasn't setting down her tea and cake to check on her friend.
"I wish Mio would break me like that." Mugi said as she watched Ritsu spasm on the floor next to her.
"Mio-sempai, what is wrong with you?" Azusa got straight to the source of the problem. Mio pouted in a sexy way and crossed her arms under her chest, pronouncing what was already abundant.
"Azusa, I'm just really excited about practicing today. I thought enthusiasm was what you always wanted,"
"NOT THAT KIND OF ENTHUSIASM!" Azusa yelled at her in honest bewilderment.
"Wow, Azusa," Mio seemed to look at Azusa in a new light. "You should masturbate more regularly." the bassist advised seniorly. The color of Azusa's face exploded in red, her body itself frozen and petrified.
"M-m-mas-ma" she started mumbling unintelligibly. Apparently Mio broke her as well.
"Hey, is Ritsu going to eat that?" Yui referred to the club president's uneaten slice of cake. She looked at Ritsu who was shaking on the floor, Mugi who looked to be in a state of nirvana at this point, and then at Azusa, whose eyes had turned into pure white discs on her tomato-colored face with puffs of steam leaving her ears.
Since no one was stopping her, Yui helped herself to Ritsu, Mugi's and Azusa's cake. She did not notice Mio looking at her with predatory eyes.
"Yui," Mio purred in the other girl's direction. "You sure get around."
"Do you want me to eat your cake too?" Yui asked hungrily eying Mio's uneaten strawberry.
Mio giggled throatily and leaned over in Yui's direction, revealing her cleavage to her. "What's your favorite thing about cake, Yui?" she asked, twirling a lock of hair between her fingers.
"Are you kidding? The strawberry is the best part of the cake!" Yui exclaimed quite seriously.
"I agree the strawberry is so very important."
Mugi was sipping her tea, but she sure as hell wasn't blinking.
"Would you like to eat my strawberry, Yui?" Mio leaned even further across the table, nearly knocking the petrified Azusa off her chair. The young guitarist smiled brightly and started to nod her head.
"I would love to, Mio-chan,"
"REVIVED!" Ritsu announced loudly as she sprung up from the floor, sweating and breathing heavily.
"My, it didn't take you long to recover your second wind." Mio's tone was deeply impressed. Mugi clapped and congratulated Ritsu.
"I am going to pretend you didn't say that and instead suggest that we start practice." Ritsu was apparently in denial about Mio's personality shift.
"Yes!" Mio exclaimed in ecstasy.
"Aye, Captain!" Yui saluted, her other hand busy cramming the remaining cake into her mouth.
Mugi shook Azusa gently by the shoulders. "Azusa-chan, it's time to see how the rest of this practice is going to progress."
"Pr-practice?" Azusa mumbled, getting up automatically to set up her guitar.
Mio was already set up before everyone else, cooing and stroking the bass in her grasp. "I'm going to make love to you with my fingers, Elizabeth." Mio sweet talked before licking the side of the bass.
"Bad instrument maintenance." Azusa murmured, detached from reality since Mio started acting out of character.
"I-I will treat that as a hallucination and start playing Fuwa Fuwa Time!" Ritsu declared loudly to distract herself from Mio licking her instrument.
"1, 2, 3, 4!" Her drum playing was even more frantic and off-beat than usual. Yui rushed to keep up, Azusa played robotically with a far-away look in her eyes, and Tsumugi looked like she never had so much fun in her life.
But the thing that stuck out the most was how particularly awesome Mio played the bass today. Her fingers moved fluidly in time to Ritsu's beat, and the sound was even more funky and pronounced than ever before. However, the person playing the instrument was obviously having too much fun.
Way too much fun.
"Oh, Elizabeth!" Mio was breathing loudly instead of singing the lyrics she had written herself. At this point poor Ritsu had spirals in her eyes as she played the drums with even more vigor.
"Ritsu, slow down!" Yui's fingers were having a hard time keeping up with the ridiculous beating that one wouldn't be able to call a rhythm anymore.
"No, faster Ritsu! HARDER! FASTER!" Mio cried, throwing her head back. Her long raven locks flew behind her and she fell to her knees, still playing the bass with the talent of a rock star.
The drum sticks broke in half simultaneously when Ritsu smashed them against the drums particularly hard and they flew across the room. "THAT'S IT!" Ritsu roared, baring her teeth at her childhood friend who had not stopped playing the bass on account of the broken sticks. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? I CAN'T TAKE THIS TORTURE ANYMORE!" With that Ritsu looked about ready to stab the remainder of the broken sticks into her eyes.
Azusa finally seemed to snap out of her daze at the sight of the band leader attempting to stab things into her face. "Ritsu-sempai, don't!" she held back the senior
"LET ME GO! I WANNA STAB MY BRAIN!" Ritsu was roaring, struggling against Azusa's grasp.
"Wow, thats amazing, Mio!" Yui was in awe at Mio's awesome-level skills. The bass player had her eyes closed in rapture as she played the remainder of the song.
"Ah! Yes! Just like that!" she cried out as the finishing chords rang out. She finally melted on the floor, embracing her instrument. "Oh Elizabeth, I love you!"
"Mugi-chan, I want to be at one with Gitah just like that!" Yui exclaimed as she rubbed the neck of her guitar.
Tsumugi just smiled innocently at her. "No one is stopping you, Yui-chan." she encouraged.
"MY BRAIN HUUURTS!" Ritsu was still screaming as Azusa continued trying to wrestle the broken sticks out of her hands.
"Oh, Gitah!" Yui said half-assedly as she attempted to do what Mio was doing to her bass on the floor.
Mugi just looked on with a 'This is the best day ever!' expression on her face. Then her face fell when she realized she didn't have her camera on her today.
~THE NEXT DAY~
"That's weird… I don't remember what we did yesterday?" Mio muttered to herself as she entered the club room. It had been a weird day for her. She had been getting suspicious looks all day and her friends seemed to be avoiding her. At one point Ritsu had thrown a wooden cross at her before running away screaming.
"I wonder if anyone is coming for practice today?" she wondered since she was still alone in the room. After listening carefully she could discern sounds coming from the opposite side of the doors. Sighing, she marched up to the door and threw it wide open. In stumbled the forms of Ritsu and Yui, who had previously had their ears pressed up against the door. Mugi and Azusa were standing behind them, the latter waving awkwardly at Mio. Tsumugi was looking at Mio rather expectantly as if waiting for something amazing to happen.
"What," Mio's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "On earth were you guys doing?" she asked pointedly at the ones still lying stunned at the ground.
"I think the relevant question here is," Ritsu sprang up and pointed an accusatory finger at the raven haired girl. "Are you the real Mio?- OW!" Ritsu was knocked back to the ground, nursing a steaming bump to the head.
"Of course it's the real me!" Mio yelled down at her in aggravation, still holding her fist up.
"Yep, that's the real Mio-chan." Yui smiled happily. Mugi looked disappointed.
"Wait a sec." Azusa still looked skeptical. "Then why are you wearing that cosplay?"
"Cosplay? What are talking about?" Mio asked before she looked down at herself. It was true, she was currently wearing a white sleeveless dress that stopped mid-thighs, black stockings and a white headband. "Okay, I give. The clothes I have no idea where they came from, but what does that have to do with anything?" Mio asked, frustrated. She couldn't explain it, but she felt really comfortable in that outfit!
The other four girls looked at each other, then back at Mio.
"Uh, I guess we're sorry?" Ritsu rubbed the bandage on her head and smiled at Mio sheepishly. "We were just worried that you had… a personality switch or something."
Mio hmphed. "Well, I didn't. You guys always get the strangest ideas." she sighed, crossing her arms. She turned back to face the club room, hands on her hips. "Now let's move on from this story with our assholes closed tight!" she declared passionately.
The rest of the club stared at her blankly.
"WHAT THE F-" Ritsu started yelling but was cut off the 'THE END' that came out of nowhere.