Author's Note:

This is my first 'Castle' story. Yes, it's another follow up to episode 3x06. It's been rolling around in my head since Monday night.

Hope you enjoy.

The lights from the black and whites danced off the water in the pool, giving him something on which to focus. For once in his life, Richard Castle wished he could turn his brain off, wished that the continuous commentary in his head would just stop. But it wouldn't stop and he couldn't not help but to allow the last few days events to play over and over again.

He should have seen it sooner. Should have been quicker to figure out who the killer really was. There had been something nagging him from the beginning but he hadn't realized until it was too late.

The one good thing about being unable to stop thinking about what had happened was that by doing so he conveniently pushed aside all thoughts about what could have happened.

He had been right when he had so arrogantly declared that shooting him wouldn't be 'his style', but that didn't mean that the son of a bitch wouldn't have done it anyways. It was a literal crap shoot and only because this guy was more screwed up than they had thought was he sitting here by this pool.

He knew she'd find them, knew that it wouldn't be long before the pieces would fall together for her as well. His mother calling had been fortuitous but he didn't know at the time if she had gotten his message or not.

The sirens had pierced the air not ninety seconds after they had been left in the room. In some ways that was worse than having to wait hours for help to arrive. They had been so close.

She had burst through the door, face set, gun at the ready, two minutes too late. He had tried to be as professional as possible, giving them the information they needed, Ryan hadn't moved since he had been hit and he was worried about him.

A fall of hair had brushed his cheek as she leaned in from behind him to cut his binds, her words of relief not whispered or hidden, available for everyone in the room to hear.

They had left the room right after and he was grateful. Ryan went straight to a waiting bus to be checked out and he had given his statement, in triplicate it seemed.

An hour later he found himself in the quietest place he could find, a cement bench, poolside.

He hadn't heard her approach but then she was there, filling up the empty space and pressing a cup of coffee into his hands that they both knew he wouldn't drink.

He wasn't surprised when her hand came to rest on his knee. Kate Beckett wasn't one who showed outward signs of affection, especially on the job, but he knew she cared, more than most people gave her credit for. That she cared too much was what drove her to do her job.

And for the second time since they had begun working together he touched her out of need and not want.

Her hand was chilled, and as he ghosted his thumb over her folded fingers he didn't look her direction. They had established some sort of unspoken agreement that the night had been out of the ordinary and because of that this interaction was completely acceptable, even necessary. But he didn't dare risk it coming to an end by looking at her.

After a long moment he felt her hand relax under his and open, her thumb unconsciously mirroring his, and then ever so slightly she leaned towards him so they were connected from shoulder to knee.

He didn't know how long they sat there, silent only on the outside. The din of the scene had been left behind them and it was only when a shout came from a familiar voice that they came back to the present.

"Hey, Boss." Esposito called and she turned to her left, looking back between them and allowing her hand to slide up his thigh a few inches, but not breaking the contact. "Ryan needs a couple of stitches, I'm going to take him to get patched up."

She nodded "Keep me posted." she said and then turned back.

She gave his knee a tight squeeze "Come on Castle, I'll give you a ride home." she said softly.

She stood up and it was the empty space beside him that broke him from his reverie. He sat the still full cup of coffee in the seat she had just vacated and rose to join her.

As they stepped off to head to her car his hand reached for hers as if its own volition. She startled for a second, looking to their clasped hands before finally, for the first time, looking him in the eyes.

"Please." was all he said, not caring if he sounded pathetic or needy.

She hesitated and then gave him a tight smile and turned her hand over so their palms met. "Okay Castle." she said so quietly he almost missed it before giving him a tug.

As if by some unspoken agreement they let go as they reached the back of her car. He slid into the passenger seat and barely noticed as they left the parking lot and headed into Manhattan.

"We'll get him." she said suddenly and he almost jumped.

He let his heart rate return to a normal level before replying "I know." he said, turning to look at her as they waited at a stop light "But not before he kills someone else."

She didn't reply, but he saw the understanding in her eyes, and the guilt that he shared.

The rest of the drive was in silence and when they arrived at his building he suddenly realized she was intending to drop him off. Without thinking his hand shot out and rested on her forearm. "Come up with me, please." he said. Her mouth opened in protest and for the first time since she had found them he shot her a patented Rick Castle pout. "Please. Mother and Alexis would appreciate it, I'm sure."

She sighed in mock exasperation and he knew she wouldn't be able to turn him down now.

His answer came in the form of her pulling back out into traffic and searching for a parking space.

A half a block away they got lucky and this time it was her hand that reached for his as they walked up the sidewalk. She had been as shaken as he had, he realized.

The doorman greeted him with a smile and a nod to Beckett which they returned in unison before heading for the elevators.

When they were outside the door to the loft her hand tightened over his once before letting go.

His hands shook slightly as he unlocked the door and he took a deep breath before pushing it open.

His mother sat at the kitchen island a highball clutched between her hands. Alexis sat across from her, slumped on a stool.

"Dad!" she exclaimed and flew across the room and into his arms. "I'm so glad you're ok." she murmured into his chest, unknowingly repeating the same words Kate had said to him earlier. He pulled her tighter to him and vaguely recognized the sound of the door being shut behind him.

"Richard, darling." his mother said, making her way quickly to them. He let go of Alexis long enough to allow her to pull him down and kiss his cheek.

"Kate." Alexis said suddenly and squirmed away from him, only to suddenly throw her arms around Beckett. He enjoyed the look of shock on her face before she wrapped her arms around his daughter. "Thank you for saving my dad."

"You should really thank your grandmother, she's the one who knew something was wrong." Beckett demurred

"Yes, Mother. I do owe you my life." he said, a hint of his usual sarcasm coming out. Alexis and his mother didn't need to know how much the night had affected him.

Martha dismissed him with a casual wave of her hand as she crossed to give Kate a hug as well. "Really, Richard. I merely passed along my concerns. Detective Beckett is the one who found you."

"Yeah, she is." he said without thinking, his voice hoarser than he had intended.

Her eyes shot to his and he found he couldn't look away.

Alexis seemed oblivious to what was happening around her as she slipped back into his embrace, squeezing him.

He used her distraction as an excuse to turn away. "So, who wants to hear about my near death experience." he said loudly, full on Castle persona in place.

"I'd love to, Dad, but it's late and I've got a test in the morning. Fill me in tomorrow?" his daughter said before standing on tip-toe to kiss his cheek. "Night, Gram. Night, Kate." she said and slipped up the stairs.

Martha wrapped an arm around Beckett's shoulders and guided her towards the kitchen. "Come, come. I want to hear all about it." she said, and Kate had no choice but to follow.

For the next hour he regaled his mother with the tale, making sure to emphasize that it was her phone call that had been the key to the entire night.

Kate was for the most part quiet, slowly sipping on a glass of water and he could tell it was only her desire to not hurt Martha's feelings that she was still there.

After he caught her looking at the clock for the third time he decided to cut her loose. "Any word on Ryan?" he asked unnecessarily, knowing she hadn't received a call.

"Uh, no." she said, "I should...I should go by the hospital though and check up on him." she gave Martha an apologetic smile.

"Oh, of course dear." she said "I think I will retire as well." getting up in one fluid motion, resting a hand on Beckett's shoulder in goodbye and blowing him a kiss as she passed.

They were silent as Martha headed up the stairs.

"Guess I should be going." she said, standing and making her way to the door.

He followed, silent for once.

She paused at the door and hesitated before turning. She was only a step away and he forced himself to not move. She was letting him into her personal space and he didn't want to spook her.

"We will get him." she said again, her voice strong. Her hand came out and she laid it so gently on his arm he could barely feel her. "I promise."

"I'll hold you to that, Detective." he said, his voice thick, hoping she knew how much her support meant to him right then.

She smiled tiredly "Good night, Castle." she said before opening the door.

"Good night, Kate." he replied "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." she confirmed and disappeared down the hallway.

He shut the door and turned the lights off in the kitchen and the main living area before heading for the sanctuary of his office.

Stopping by the bar first he poured a hefty dose of scotch in a glass and sunk into the chair at his desk, turning so he faced the windows.

He knew he wouldn't sleep that night. As he watched the city, he recalled the feel of Kate Beckett's hand in his and the promise of tomorrow.