EPILOGUE

For a nine solid hours, Arizona didn't so much as twitch. She woke up in the exact same position she had fallen asleep in the prior evening, and for a moment, everything was peaceful and serene.

And then her body bitch-slapped her in the face with a hard, bone-rattling ache that resonated to her very core.

Arizona barely managed a semi-conscious, strangled moan as she turned her face into the pillow beneath her cheek, hating whatever drunk driver had apparently hit her with a bus before jumping out to beat her corpse with a baseball bat. Every single muscle in her body throbbed in protest at being so much as twitched in the slightest, particularly in her back and her skull.

Might have had something to do with getting slammed into a wall repeatedly. Something about that rang a bell.

Even her memories from the night prior were fuzzy. Her head hurt too much to think or remember anything, and it was impossible to distinguish the difference between the pain caused by her unavoidable hangover, or the fact that her head hit the wall three separate times in one evening.

Make that four, if you included the first time back at the party. That much she remembered right off the bat. The rest? It was a little hazy.

Arizona was just about to whine at Callie that she needed to puke, when she became aware of the fact that she was alone.

Completely alone. In a dark, dank, kinda gross boiler room. In a bed. All by herself. That kind of alone.

Arizona sat up in bed, moving much too fast. She closed her eyes and cradled her head in her right hand, the room spinning in several different directions at once. The back of her skull and her right temple where she'd hit the wall (or was it the floor?) throbbed particularly hard.

As a whole, she was not doing so well.

Swallowing back the sandpaper in her throat, Arizona very slowly and meticulously scooted herself over to the end of the bed. There was a dim ceiling light glowing now that Callie must have flicked on before she left, and one look around the room had Arizona's brow furrowing in confusion.

She barely even remembered how she got there, let alone where 'there' was.

She started to scan the area for her clothes, and almost immediately her heart dropped into her stomach.

The remains of her torn shirt were between the wall and the bed, her bra was shredded over by the door, and her pants kicked haphazardly into the middle of the room. She didn't even see her underwear.

She slowly leaned over the edge of the bed, taking one step off of it to grab said pants, before sitting back. She was starting to think 'Hey, at least I have pants', when she fluffed them out and immediately slumped down in defeat.

The crotch was ripped where Callie had over-eagerly torn them off by grabbing at her zipper. She wouldn't even be able to zip them up.

"God motherfucking damn it," Arizona growled under her breath, absolutely fuming. She swore a lot when her fuse blew. "Leaves me here with no fucking clothes to even..." She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers hard into them, willing the slight wave of nausea that was creeping its way up to go away.

There was only two things she knew in that moment - one, she was way too old to ever drink that much again, and two - Calliope Torres was dead fucking meat.

"Can't believe she just left me here to...arg!" Arizona tossed the remains of her pants back down onto the floor and collapsed back against the bed. She was so totally fucked.

The only piece of clothing left in the room was Callie's batsuit, and she was not walking out of here with that thing on. No fucking way. She would rather die down here, cold and alone, first.

A moment later, just as she was pondering how in the hell to get out of this very naked, very precarious predicament, Arizona heard the door handle jiggle. She froze, heart leaping into her chest as she very nearly had an honest to God panic attack.

In a furry, she yanked the quilt back over top of herself and dove beneath it, freezing all movement as she hit the mattress. Callie had said that the Chief found her here once. She could not let the Chief see her like this, because then she'd have to quit her job and move to Portland and she hated Portland so maybe somewhere like Cleveland or maybe Sweden or-

Arizona's face peered out from beneath the comforter as the door closed and footsteps padded into the room.

After a few seconds passed, she growled loudly and sat up, tugging the comforter around her so she looked like a big, cushy mountain with a face sticking out of the top. "I thought you ileft/i me here!" she snapped, blushing furiously.

"Do you not know me? I would never..." Callie trailed off. "Okay, so maybe I did. But I promise it was for noble reasons." She held up the ice packs in one hand and a tray of coffee in the other.

She'd definitely planned on ripping Arizona's clothes off, even bringing an extra pair of scrubs for them both and tucking them in a duffel bag on the other side of the room - out of sight, of course - but never had she imagined the epic-ness of last night. Or the resulting injuries from it.

"I woke up and saw that big lump on your head, and knew you'd have a hangover, so I took the liberty of being an awesome girlfriend and running to get you a remedy kit. See?" She cocked her head playfully and shot her a goofy grin, hoping she'd be let off the hook.

Arizona's anger vanished the moment the smell of coffee wafted into her nose. "Oh, thank God," she breathed, slumping down beneath the quilt in relief. She watched as Callie walked over and sat next to her on the bed, smiling a little. "You are kind of an awesome girlfriend for that." Her head gave a particularly hard throb, and she closed her eyes with a groan.

"Yeah? Well," Callie scooted off the bed and stepped to the other side of the room. "I also packed you some clothes, and some muffins, some sandwiches, brought you coffee, and Tylenol, ice packs for the boo boo on your head, and look! Capri Suns! Just in case we slept really late and needed some lunch." Callie pointed out a cooler and duffel bag that sat next to each other against the far wall. "We don't even have to get out of here until you're ready. I would never just leave you completely naked, with no clothes, in a place you could easily be found. Dork."

Arizona pouted pathetically, watching Callie pull out the cooler from the corner. She felt a rush of gratitude as she reached for one of the coffee cups, pulling it out of the tray and instantly bringing it to her lips. The hot liquid scalded the roof of her mouth, but she so didn't care right now.

Callie tossed her a Capri Sun and she missed completely in her attempt to catch it; it smacked her in the forehead. Because that's just the kind of day she was having so far.

Arizona set down her coffee and stuck the straw into her juice bag, sucking away eagerly. She needed something to replenish all of the energy she had drained the night before. Sitting up right now even hurt, and she groaned a little. "What did you do to me last night, Torres?"

"Would you like a play by play of the evening?" Callie didn't even make an effort to hide the smugness from her voice. "Oh, and by the way, that hangover is totally your own fault. I told Teddy to get you a little drunk, not that drunk." She ripped open the packaging on a blueberry muffin and lifted it in Arizona's direction, but smirked when the blonde just about turned green. Maybe the food could wait.

"You told Teddy to get me drunk?" Arizona lifted an eyebrow at her girlfriend, still looking a little queasy at the idea of food. Jesus, she was thirty-four, yet she felt like she was eighty right now. "Baby, I'm easy, you know that. Why on earth would you ask her to make me drink copious amounts of alcohol when you know how much of a lightweight I am? Kinda thinking that it's your fault."

"She told me she gave you four. It was very juiced down raspberry vodka - barely anything potent - I even made it especially for you so you wouldn't get trashed on the good stuff! The rest was all your fault. And I kinda didn't want you sober enough to put up a fight with the whole, 'dominance' thing. A lot of good that did me." She pouted.

Despite her pain, Arizona grinned lazily. "Yeah. Getting me drunk never keeps me submissive." She chuckled and alternated between sips of juice and coffee, not even caring about the weird taste combination.

"Ugh. That's gross." Callie pointed towards Arizona as she tried to juggle her coffee and her juice. She was cute though. Lifting each item and then dropping it a little, rinse and repeat. Such a goof. "And yeah, well, you live you learn." She shrugged and rolled her eyes at the triumphant grin plastered all over Arizona's face.

Arizona's eyes scanned over Callie's scrub-clad form, and she smirked a little. There was definitely, definitely evidence of their prior activities. All over her neck. And along the 'V' of her scrub top. She felt her ego swell just a little in that moment.

Callie looked down, following Arizona's eyes and noticing all the purple marks on her chest. With wide-open eyes, she shot Arizona a look of pure 'I can't believe you did this to me', and groaned. "Do I even wanna know what my neck looks like right now?"

"Nope." The blonde just continued to smirk.

Right up until her head gave a throb of protest at the slight movement she made when she shifted on the bed. "I think you gave me a concussion."

"Uh, I seem to remember you falling off of the bed all by yourself."

"Followed by you slamming me into a wall over and over again..." Arizona couldn't deny how fucking unbelievable that was, though. She had never come so hard in her life. Just the memory made her shiver, and her cheeks turned a little red.

"I remember you getting frustrated when I wasn't doing it hard enough for your liking." Callie couldn't help but lick her lips and press on them a little with her tongue; the ghost sensation of feeling how wet Arizona had been...Jesus. But, the pressure only made her wince as her lips throbbed in protest. Apparently also ready to be added to the 'injury list'. Damn it. What had they done to each other last night? "…And at the fact that I wouldn't take your pants off. So..."

"You barely look like you went for a light jog last night. I feel like I went six rounds with Ali and a pride of lions." Arizona closed her eyes and winced as she rubbed at her stiff neck. Callie had given her some pretty phenomenal sex injuries before, but nothing had ever affected her whole entire body before.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't drunk. And I'm pretty sure if I showed you my shoulders, I'd be the one that looks like I went head to head with Simba and Scar. I've also been awake for like...three hours. And I took a shower in the locker room. While isomeone/i was passed out cold, snoring like a bear."

"I do not snore!" Arizona shot back, instantly regretting raising her voice. She sucked down some more coffee and willed herself not to puke. She hadn't thrown up in years, not about to start now. "And maybe, if you had woken me up, you wouldn't have had to shower alone."

Though, she was pretty sure that showering with someone that looked like they'd been attacked by a trash compactor wasn't sexy. That's how she felt, anyway. All Callie's fault.

"You do when you're trashed, apparently. And as sexy as that sounds, you made me actually pass out last night. From sex. And I woke up feeling like I was ninety. Sex was the last thing on my mind. Besides, you take up all the space under the water when we do it in the shower, and I needed some water pressure without you hogging it all."

Scoffing, Arizona rolled her eyes. "Bite me, Torres." She saw Callie move, and instantly flinched back on instinct. "But not really." She had been bitten enough for one night, thanks. She probably looked worse in a mirror than Callie did.

She'd been a complete fox in the sack last night...

"For the love of God, no. No biting. No fucking. My body can't take it for the rest of the...afternoon at least. Seriously." Was she really saying no to sex?

Holy shit, Callie was saying no to sex.

"So we're on the same page, then." Arizona sighed and finally forced her tired ass to move over to the edge of the bed. She set her coffee cup and empty juice pack on the side table, and dangled her legs over the edge. "I need clothes." She dropped the quilt and stood up slowly, swaying just a little bit on her feet. Every single one of her muscles screamed in protest as she padded stiffly towards the duffel bag on the opposite side of the room.

"Jesus, baby, what did I do to you?" Callie immediately stood and rushed over to Arizona, wrapping her arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. She actually felt a little bad. All those scratches, bruises and bite marks. They were really hot, but...still. She looked more than a little roughed up.

Pulling back from the hug when Arizona groaned, Callie ran her finger over all the scratches along her stomach. Her heart twinged a little when Arizona winced, and Callie reached up to tilt Arizona's chin with finger. "I love you...I-I'm so sorry."

Arizona found herself smiling, despite her stiffness. "Honey, it was totally and completely worth it," she chuckled. True, she was going to need some serious pain medication and a nap sometime soon here, but she wouldn't change their little...love-fucking session the night before for anything.

"I bet you look pretty banged up under here, too," the blonde added after a second in a low voice, slowly pulling up the front of Callie's scrub top.

Callie's hand clasped around her wrist. "Uh-uh. No naughty touching."

"I'm not being naughty," Arizona shot back. She pulled Callie's shirt up to just beneath her chest. Her stomach looked okay, save for one small nip she had left behind while kissing down her body, but as Arizona pulled Callie's scrub top off completely and walked around behind her back, she froze.

"Yeah. Kinda looks like Simba won." Arizona leaned in and pressed her lips to Callie's bare shoulder, just next to her bra strap. "Sorry, baby." Wherever there weren't long tracks from dragging her nails across Callie's skin, there were little half-moon marks where she'd dug her nails in as hard as she could.

Those little marks were the sibling of the sore spot on the back of her head, and the bruise on her spine. All were 'conceived' during the wall incident. Mmm.

"S'okay. I'll live. Let me see your head." Callie grazed over it with her fingertips, and Arizona winced, gasped, and squeezed her eyes together as tight as they possibly could go. "That bump looks nasty." A small tear escaped the corner of one eye, reflexive of how hard her head throbbed.

Following the tear with a soft, sad sigh, Callie's heart kinda broke. It wasn't technically her fault...but still. "We should maybe have Derek take a look at this sweetie. I'm so sorry."

"What?" Arizona's eyes snapped open. "No! Hell no! Nuh-uh. I am not about to tell Derek Shepherd I banged my head into a wall by drunk-falling off of a bed and then twice more while my girlfriend screwed me up against a wall. No."

"Baby...you didn't just see your face when I barely touched it. You could have a concussion. Seriously."

Fuck.

"I slept for eight hours and didn't wake up in a coma. I'm fine."

"Didn't wake up in a..." Callie sighed and hung her head. "Not helping with the whole 'I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world because I gave mine a concussion' guilt thing I've got goin' on right now." She sighed and ran her fingers over the scratches on her stomach once more. "We're too old for this shit."

Arizona's eyes drifted closed and she stepped forward a little more into Callie's arms. She found the whole clawing thing pretty hot, actually, and really liked seeing the evidence of her girlfriend's nails on her stomach. It was the kind of sting that felt pretty good.

"We're a little old for it," the blonde murmured softly as she nuzzled into Callie's neck. "But that doesn't mean it wasn't un-fucking-believable." She stood there, naked and shivering a little, clinging to Callie for warmth. She bunched the brunette's scrub shirt in her hands, knowing she should give it back to her to put back on, but liking the skin-on-skin contact.

"Yeah...it was pretty hot, huh?" Tugging Arizona a little closer and kissing her softly on the temple, wary of the bump, Callie sighed. This room had a lot of memories. Her first time with George, dancing in her underwear after she rocked her first solo surgery, beating the entire Crash Bandicoot series on her PS2 after hours, lots of memories. But this one with Arizona, it easily topped every single one of them by like, a thousand percent.

Arizona couldn't help but flash back to the night before and all of the 'memories' they had made. Memories that went along with each and every mark on the other's skin. It made them both smile just a little smugly.

Reluctantly pulling back from Callie's arms, Arizona stepped away and shuffled stiffly over to the duffel bag, sagging down awkwardly onto her knees so she could dig through it to pull out a pair of scrubs. "Thank God you planned ahead. I thought my only option was going to be to escape in the bat suit."

"Might have been a little sexy making you do the walk of shame in my costume. All through the halls of this hospital. That'd get the nurses going for sure." Callie tugged on the shirt that Arizona had just thrown at her head with a long groan, walking up and kissing her on the nose. "You're cute when you're all...over-sexed and sore and pouty."

Arizona wrinkled her nose as Callie tugged her in close and kissed it again. "The next time you fuck me into a coma, at least remember to pack some Gatorade." She playfully pushed Callie back a little as she worked to pull on some underwear and scrub pants first. And socks. Thank the lord, Callie had brought some socks, because her feet were freezing.

However, moving her arms to try and pull on her scrub shirt over her bra was taking some time. She eventually gave up, because raising her arms over her head hurt a little too much, and handed the shirt to Callie. "Help me, please." She pouted.

"Baby...ugh. You're so...injured. I feel like such an ass." Callie let out a long breath and tugged the shirt over her outstretched arms, bunching it so she could walk behind her and lift it over her head without much effort from the blonde's side. "There, now come snuggle with me under our comfy quilt on that comfy bed and get warm. You're shivering." She ran both hands up and down her arms.

"Probably because my girlfriend locked me in the boiler room in an underground hallway and keeps me alive by feeding me muffins and coffee." Arizona grinned crookedly.

"Hey - I didn't lock you anywhere. The door is openable from the inside. You just didn't really have any clothes to leave with, so I assumed you'd stay put. Muffins are good, and coffee is your best friend. So it's...win-win."

"Yeah, well. As long as you're here, I kinda don't mind being stuck." Arizona adjusted the front of her scrubs and pulled her insanely messy hair through the neck, knowing that it probably didn't help her hide the fact that she'd just spent all night having wild and crazy monkey sex.

She tugged Callie over to the bed, but took her time in climbing onto it. "Don't suppose you brought any Tylenol, did you? Or possibly even some morphine?"

Reaching into her pocket and pulling out the four capsules and plopping them into Arizona's hand, Callie smiled. "Sure do. Figured you'd be needing these."

Arizona whimpered pathetically. "Thank you..." She popped them into her mouth and swallowed them with a mouthful of coffee, then hurriedly gulped down the rest. She knew that further dehydrating herself might not help matters, but she didn't care. She needed the caffeine.

And a nap. Which was counter productive, but...whatever.

"C'mere," Arizona murmured, crawling onto the bed and collapsing in a heap.

Callie smiled and pressed her knee into the bed, crawling towards her girlfriend, placing a soft kiss to her forehead, before flopping down next to her and snuggling into her arms.

Yeah, definitely more like it.

Arizona immediately pulled Callie in close and sighed heavily, feeling her earlier exhaustion settle in. "For the record...the sex was definitely worth the concussion. You're an animal, Calliope, and I love it." She bit down lightly against the shell of her ear.

"Yeah...I get that a lot." Callie smirked and snuggled deeper into her embrace with a sigh.

Arizona smacked Callie in the stomach. "Watch it, you," she chuckled. "I don't need to hear about anyone else thinking you're an animal. You're my animal."

Callie's stomach muscles twinged and she grunted. "Ow! Arizona! You don't see me punctuating my thoughts onto your injuries! Jesus." She knew Arizona hadn't technically done anything to her stomach, but her abs were still pretty sore. She just wanted the smug look on Arizona's face to get the hell off already.

"Aww, baby," Arizona cooed, pouting a little at Callie in remorse. "I'm sorry." She scooted down on the bed, pushing Callie's scrub shirt up to expose her stomach, and pressed her lips against it. To which Callie instinctively arched into the touch. And then groaned when every muscle in her back and stomach protested.

She'd need to be put on the disabled list after this one for sure.

Callie sighed contently. "I love you. And your bruises, your bumps, and your sorta overly dominant side in bed."

Arizona smirked against her skin, taking her time in pressing soft, slow kisses against it. "Sure didn't complain last night," she murmured, closing her eyes and nuzzling against the warm softness of her girlfriend. She had a really, really nice stomach, and she smelled all nice and sweet from her recent shower. "Can't help it. Every time I see you naked I turn into She-Hulk."

There was a slight pause. "Only...not green, and not resembling a creepy female WWE wrestler."

"Yeah, I remember distinctively being sacked like I was a QB. Geesh. Remind me never to laugh at you again."

"Damn straight," Arizona confirmed, smirking to herself. She pushed her way back up Callie's body and settled her head on the pillow next to hers, leaning in for a soft kiss. The world spun a little less when she was lying down, it was kind of nice.

"So, how long are we going to stay here? Because, the longer we do, the more likely we'll get caught, y'know." Callie didn't really fancy that happening again any time soon.

"Trying to be kinky?" Arizona sighed. "There's no way I can work today, which is good, since technically I'm off, but...you might have to help me home, Torres. Can't really move the legs that well."

"Yeah, but...later. Right now I wanna get warm and snuggle and let the pain meds I took earlier kick in. Because I'm freaking exhausted." Callie groaned. Not so much in pain or frustration, but more in a 'I've been fucked and I'm so satisfied with how sore I am' sorta way. Yes, there was a specific 'way' to groan for that.

"Wonder how that happened." Arizona kissed her once more and then snuggled in, closing her eyes.

"I have no idea. But somehow I think you probably had something to do with it. You always have something to do with everything. You're a pain in the ass. Now close your freaking eyes and take a nap."

Arizona pouted, and did her best to give Callie her saddest, best 'kicked puppy' eyes. "I'm a pain?"

"In the ass. Since I have bruises on mine. And I don't even remember you touching it." Callie nodded firmly and gave her a tiny wink.

Arizona burst into a suddenly fit of giggles all over again, although this time they stopped almost as soon as they started. She moaned and clutched at her throbbing head.

Never. Drinking. Again.

Or, falling off of a bed.

Preferably both.

"Make the world stop spinning," she groaned, burying her face into Callie's shoulder.

"Close your eyes, shut your mouth, and just be still for five seconds while the meds kick in. Shh." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly to signal Arizona that she wasn't kidding about the nap thing. She was sore as hell and she'd been up way longer than the blonde. She wanted a freaking nap. And maybe a hot bath. With Arizona between her legs. With lots of nakedness between the two of them.

Damn it.

Tugging the blanket a little more around the two of them, Callie sighed and dropped one last kiss to her snoring girlfriend's forehead, and as she drifted off herself, she knew that when they woke up and whenever they made it home, they'd both definitely found a new appreciation for Halloween...and Bewitched.

AN: Thank you to EVERYONE who read and commented! We're so thankful and amused and happy you all enjoyed it so much. It made writing this way more fun.