The First Three Times

By: M14Mouse

Summary: Sam called Cas three times and he didn't answer. Tag to The Third Man

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Sam was there one minute and here the next.

From extreme cold to dirt and grass pressed against his back.

The smell of blood to the smell of cold air pressed against his lungs.

Instead of light, he saw darkness.

He was HERE.

He thought at first that it was an illusion.

Nothing but a happy illusion. Of course, this would be the last place that he would pick to think about. But beggars couldn't be choosey. As seconds pass into minutes and nothing happened, something tugged at his gut.

Was this real?

How could this be real?

Was he real?

He stared at the black sky above.

This can't be real.

He forced his eyes shut.

Thisins'''t real.

THIS ISN'T REAL!

He felt himself choking. His heart was pounding in his chest. He felt sweat roll down his forehead.

Calm down….He needed to calm down.

He forced oxygen into his lungs.

Slowly, his heartbeat returned to normal.

How? When?

He panted as he stumbled to his feet. His first thought was Dean. No, Dean promised. He would be here. His mind stumbled onto other names…other things. His mind came up blank. There was one person that might know.

"Cas."

"Castiel!"

"CASTIEL!"

He screamed his name until his throat was raw. He screamed until he couldn't breath anymore. He screamed until just he couldn't anymore.

-SPNSPN-

It took him awhile to find one that worked.

Payphones were going the way of the Stone Age and were impossible to find. The ones that he did stumble upon didn't work or had gum in all sort of places where gum shouldn't be put.

He put a dollar in quarters into the machine since he wasn't quite sure if heaven was long distance or not.

RING.

RING.

RING.

We are sorry. The number that you have dialed is unavailable at this time. Please hang up and try again later.

He slammed the phone down. A part of him broke a little bit more.

-SPNSPN-

It was three blocks from his old house. It was small, brick church on the corner. Nothing fancy. Six strain glass windows on the sides of the building and a cross right on top of the roof. He didn't miss the symbolism there. He lock picked the door and slipped inside. He walked passed the pews. The sun filled the church with a rainbow of color. He slipped into the second row. He stared at the large cross hanging on the wall with the figure of Jesus staring at him.

He wondered if he was being judged right now. He bended over slightly and folded his hands together. He didn't know what to say. He just started praying.

"God…Cas…I am here and not there. I don't know why. I thought that…that it was over. I just want answers. I thought…you might have them. Just give me a sign…anything. Isn't that too much to ask?"

He paused for a second as he waited. Nothing. The church remained as quiet as before.

First time in a long that….In that moment, he felt totally alone.

End

A/N: Okay, not sure about what happened to the story. But here it is. As much as I grew to love Cas during Season 5, he pissed me off when he didn't answer Sam's calls. Five minutes that all it would have took. Glad that you cared so much, Cas. ;-/ Anyway, read and review if you wish.