Author's Notes: Oh my god she lives! So, I had just a sudden burst of inspiration to write the first installment of this two-shot. So I hope you all like part one of two and I hope to hear comments from you all. Comments make my day, you have no idea.

Disclaimer: So I don't own Hetalia, or Toris, or Feliks, or anything for that matter.

Natalia Arlovskaya.

What's so great about her? Feliks thought silently as he sat in his usual chair at the UN meeting, pretending to listen to Ludwig rant about global economics.

She looks so mean. The Polish man noted as he slouched in his chair and rested his chin on his hands so he could get a good look at Natalia. She always carries that butcher's knife around and her hair, like, has a billion split ends. And she always-. Feliks continued to weigh out Natalia's personality flaws and lack of personal grooming, when his best friend, Toris, swiftly walked into the room, apologized for being late, passed Feliks, and the seat he'd clearly saved for the brunette, and took the empty seat next to the female nation.

And why does Liet like her so much? Feliks' inner voice practically whined as he saw Toris try to make small talk with Natalia, who was obviously trying to ignore him. She doesn't even like him. I mean, she's not even trying to talk to him. And she's always threatening to, like, kill him! Every time Liet tries to make a move on her, she always ends up hurting him. And she's obsessed, to the max, with Ivan… The list of flaws grew longer and longer as Toris persistently tried to gain Natalia's attention. By the end of the first half of the meeting, the blonde nation's hostility was so noticeable, that some other countries swore they felt an eerie aura in the conference room.

Once the of the UN meeting was adjourned for a lunch break, Feliks made his way over to where Ivan was reading a book, a thing Ivan occasionally did on his breaks. Maybe Ivan could help him solve his… girl problems.

"Ivan!" the blonde nation called as he approached the Russian man.

"Oh Feliks, I didn't see you there," Ivan said as he looked up from the spot where he was reading and set down his book down on his lap. "For what do I owe the pleasure of talking with you today?" he said with a cold smile, hands folded neatly.

However, Feliks didn't have time for Ivan's games, "Like, cut the crap Ivan," he said sharply and then sighed. "I, like, need your help." Never in a million years would he ask the eerily tall man for help, but-

"Oh?" Ivan said with a raised eyebrow, "what do you need my services for?" he said slyly. Clearly, the Russian was not going to make this easy.

Feliks swallowed before he spoke, "I need you to help me keep your sister away from Liet." Ivan stared at Feliks in shock for a few moments, and then finally responded. "As much as I would love to shield Toris from, well, anyone, I'm afraid I cannot help you." He declared calmly and then picked his book back up as if the conversation was over.

"What?" Feliks was shocked, "but I thought you were, like, totes crazy for Liet?" the Pole barked with his hands on his hips. Ivan shot Feliks another one of his famous, cold, smiles. "Oh, I am crazy for my dear Toris. Don't get me wrong," the silver haired man mused as he thought about Toris admiringly. Ugh, creep. Feliks thought to himself.

"But, I would rather not go anywhere near N-Natalia." the confidence in Ivan's voice was now replaced with fear at the mention of his sister's name. "You see," he continued, "if I were to lure her away from Toris, then she would be, how they say, "all over me." And I really, really don't want her to-" Ivan's train of thought came to a halt as he wordlessly recalled the last time he was in Natalia's clutches and his face said it all.

Clearly, Ivan was no help. "Thanks Ivan," Feliks said sarcastically. "You were a big help." As much as he wanted to see Ivan get tortured by the psycho nation, he was had to admit: no one, not even Ivan, deserved to be tortured by Natalia.

"No problem Feliks." the Russian replied, not seeming to pick up on the sarcasm. "And if you ever feel that Toris is a burden and you don't want him anymore, you know where to send him." Purple eyes were glistening with every word of the other nation's statement. It drove Feliks absolutely insane. "Yeah right you vodka loving freak! Like I'd ever give Liet up to you!" Feliks snarled as he stormed back to his seat at the conference table.

Soon, the other nations started to return to the conference room from their breaks and sure enough, as soon as Natalia entered the room, Toris wasn't too far behind; following the dirty blonde woman as if he were a lost puppy. It made Feliks' blood boil, watching the brunette go all goo-goo eyed for her. The two took their respective seats and the meeting continued with Arthur and Alfred bickering, once again, about the oil problem in the gulf. But their words didn't matter to Feliks, all that mattered to him was how was he going to get Toris to pay more attention to him, and not that knife brandishing lunatic Natalia.

Once the meeting was over, Feliks quickly walked over towards Toris. He needed to get the other nation away from Natalia in order for the plan he'd come up with during the meeting to work.

"So Liet," Feliks calmly said once he was next to his best friend. "Do you, like, have any plans for dinner tonight?" he said as he put his arm around Toris' shoulders. The Lithuanian looked at Feliks admiringly, what a nice friend I have. He's going to invite me to dinner.

"No, I actually don't have any plans for dinner. Why do you ask?"

Ah perfect, "Oh no reason. I just, like, think we should have dinner together tonight because I, like, know how hard you've been working and all. So I thought maybe you could use a break from cooking and it gives us a chance to, like, hang out." Feliks said while he further pulled Toris into his embrace.

"Sure Feliks!" Toris exclaimed. "I would love to have dinner with you tonight! That's so nice of you to-"

"Don't mention it, hon." Feliks interjected. "You're totes worth it Liet. So, like, come over my house round, hm, oh let's say, seven thirty-ish?" Feliks asked while in his typical thinking pose, pursed lips and crossed arms.

"S-sure! Sounds great!" Toris hugged his best friend. "Thanks so much!"

Oh no problem, no problem at all. Feliks smugly thought to himself as a triumphant grin spread over his pale face.