Just a silly One-Shot. I got the idea to it while reading the Hueco Mundo-arc but it's sort of AU from there.

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Morning hazards

In the brief pause after the first battles of the Winter War a temporary peace had settled over Seretei. A peace Zaraki was about to shatter if he had anything to say about it.

Kurosaki was back in Soul Society with his ryoka friends and Kenpachi didn't plan on missing this chance of a rematch. Since the kid stubbornly refused to fight him Kenpachi had fallen back to his habit of chasing him around until Kurosaki grew some balls and admitted that he liked to fight. Fuck, the kid was born to fight, he had it in his blood. It had been clear as crystal ever since he beat the crap out of Ikkaku. He just refused to admit it. Not that Zaraki gave up that easily.

The trick was to corner him and then the carrot-top could skip his damn protests and fight. Kenpachi had been trying it for days now but the little weasel was too damn good at both Shumpo and Sonido nowadays.

Damn if it didn't piss him of.

Zaraki could have him at his fingertips but then Kurosaki pulled some crafty Shumpo combo that made him slip from his grip like mist. Not even Yachiru could keep up with him, even if she had a good time playing tag with Ichi. Well, for that Kenpachi could forgive Ichigo some of the hassle he caused. Because sometimes he stayed in the area, playing with Yachiru for a while when Zaraki caught up with him. It was annoying as hell to have one pink/black and one orange/black blur zoom around above him, carefully just out of reach in Ichigo's case, but Yachiru's laughter somehow took the edge off his annoyance. At least his small Vice-Captain was having a good time.

In the end Zaraki had admitted that it might be time for a new tactic, even if it went against his principles to put this much thought in to a simple task.

"Damn you Ichigo. You have to stay in the same spot for more than five minutes sometime!" Zaraki grumbled, but then he got an idea. The big Captain of the eleventh froze in the middle of the street. Low ranked Shinigami around gave him a quizzical look but then they shuddered when a manic grin spread over the Captain's face. Zaraki knew exactly how he could get the drop on Ichigo.

-.-.-

The next morning Zaraki was up unusually early, much to his division's misery. Because if Zaraki was awake, then everyone else was soon awake. Yachiru made sure about that.

It had taken Yumichika and Ikkaku over two months to enforce one simple rule in Yachiru: if Kenpachi was asleep then it was too early to be awake, no mater how early Yashiru herself woke up. Since the girl was in a phase when she woke up at 04:30 every single morning during the last ten years it was worth the effort, but of course Kenpachi had been forced to make an addition to the rule: Yachiru was not allowed to wake him up neither.

Not by shaking him. Not by shouting that he should get up/it was morning/she was bored/anything. Not by playing very loudly outside his room. Not by harassing someone else to do it. Not by making a hole in the roof above his bed and then pour water down it before she blamed it on rain and a bad termite infection. Not by painting fierce war-paint in his face with Feather-chan's make-up. Not by sitting quietly and stare at him. Not by anything dammit!

Frankly, Zaraki was rather proud of Yachiru's persistence but after a while she finally realised that he just would keep on expanding the rule and decided to leave him alone in the mornings. Instead she terrorised the rest of Seretei, but that's a different story. The point was that this morning Ken-chan was up early and she had permission to wreck havoc in the eleventh and thus they left the division a little later then planned.

Zaraki hadn't needed to worry, Ichigo was a teenager after all, but the late start meant that the streets had began to fill up with people when a grinning Kenpachi walked up to a house just outside the thirteenth division's compound. In one swift movement he slammed the door open, marched in and drew his Zampakuto, startling the inhabitants that were awake.

In the small guest house Chad, Uryu, Rukia, Yoruichi and Ukitake Jushiro were seated in a circle, eating an impromptu breakfast while Orihime and Ichigo were left asleep, both of them had trained hard the previous day. Zaraki's sudden appearance had surprised them and no one reacted when he marched over to the sleeping Ichigo and rose his Zampakuto.

"HEY ICHIGO! GET UP AND FIGHT ME!" he bellowed and brought the blade down. And got the biggest surprise that year.

Outside most of the busy Shinigami had stopped in their tracks when they saw the madly grinning Captain entering the house where the famed ryoka were housed. Torn between curiosity and self preservation they watched the development.

From a safe distance.

Then they heard Kenpachi's loud challenge, but in the next instance a sudden spike of reatsu made them wince and Zaraki came tearing out trough the wall, literally tumbling trough the air before he struck the opposite building. There he ended up, starfish-style, upside down in a Zaraki-shaped crater.

"YOU DON'T ATTACK SOMEONE WHILE THEY ARE ASLEEP YOUR CRAZY OLD MAN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KICK YOU OUT BEFORE YOU FREAKING GET IT!"

An ear-splitting silence were left in the wake of the enraged roar and no one moved. Tree seconds later Ichigo stalked out the door, wearing nothing but the white underpants of his uniform, sleep-ruffled hair and a deep scowl. His eyes fell on the still dazed captain and he blinked, visibly surprised. The scowl were replaced with light embarrassment.

"Eh... Oops?" Ichigo said somewhat sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, "Eh, sorry Kenpachi I thought it was my dad. He's always an ass in the morning, trying to drop-kick me awake. So I always kicks him back..." Another silence. "But that's in my human body, you know. I guess I kind of overdid it as a Shinigami..." Ichigo finished even more sheepishly since he started to register the silent audience around.

Zaraki blinked up at him, uncharacteristicly confused. The violence hadn't phased him it all, but the unexpected and lightning fast reaction had taken him by surprise, and then Ichigo's explanation did nothing to help the case. Kenpachi hadn't even seen what had happened. One moment he was about to deliver a cut to the sleeping Ichigo (noting too bad, just enough to get him up an in a properly feisty mood for a fight) and then he was speeding trough the air and hit a wall on the other side of the street while getting screamed at. In between that there had been a burst of reatsu and some pain, but he couldn't figure out more then that. The attack had lacked any kind of killing intent and thus slipped trough his instincts, but how an attack without killing intent could have such an affect on him was a mystery.

Inside the building Ichigo's friends got to their feet in a surprised frenzy. The only one that had caught exactly what had happened was Yoruichi, and even she had nearly missed it.

Zaraki's Zampakuto was halfway trough it's downward arch when Ichigo's eyes flew open and then he flashed up above the blade in a move that was halfway Shumpo, halfway Sonido and yet not really either of them, just plain speed. For a millisecond he levitated in the air and swung round to a proper position. Ichigo's wild reatsu flared before it focused and he delivered a reatsu enhanced kick to Zaraki's face. The technique was nothing like how ordinary Shinigami used their reatsu, instead his wild reatsu condensed around him to an energy that was chaotic yet somehow controlled, before he struck out.

Yoruichi frowned while she joined the others that were flocking at the doorway. What the hell was that? She thought when remembering the strange technique. The only thing remotely similar Yoruich had seen was her own Sunko but Sunko required kido, not wild reatsu. With an inward sight she shrugged and let it slide, Ichigo instinctively doing something unique wasn't that surprising any more, and instead she focused on the amusing scene in front of her.

"Eh, well... I better get going," Ichigo said when everyone kept staring at him and quickly slipped back inside, sidestepping his confused friends. A few moments later he reappeared, now with his black Shihakusho loosely thrown on, the rest of his folded uniform in his hands and a towel hanging around his neck. "See you around Kenpachi. ...and good morning," he said with a short nod in the Captain's direction and disappeared in a casual Shumpo that was faster then most Vice-Captain's full speed. Regularly playing tag with Shunshin Yoruichi did that to you.

With a huff Kenpachi finally moved and extracted himself from the wall. Yachiru appeared next to him and stared thoughtfully after Ichigo with a finger cutely placed against her lip.

"You know what Ken-chan. Ichi is even more grumpy in the morning than Baldy," she stated, and to everyone's surprise Kenpachi let out a hearty laughter. Not his usually halfway deranged laugh, but something with genuine amusement.

"Ha! He's full of surprises that one," Zaraki admitted and kept laughing.

"See, I told you so," Yachiru smiled up at him, "It's much more fun when Ichi is here to play."

-.-.-

The next day the story, curtsey of a certain shop-keeper, reached the ears of Kurosaki Isshin and the man had a proper Daddy-Kurosaki moment.

"My son! I'M SO PROUD! Daddy has taught you the proper reflexes!" He shouted and run to hug the poster of his wife, "Masaki! Our son are doing fine in the world!" He continued to his daughters' eternal annoyance.

Karin couldn't stand the shouting for long and soon a rather one-sided fight commenced when she kicked her dad around the kitchen. All while he kept up his gushing, but this time about her strong kicks that soon would be as good as her brother's.

Urahara calmly watched the scene while accepting the toast Yuzu offered him. Maybe there actually was something to that eccentric training his old friend exposed his son to...

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AN: My first fic in the Bleach fandome, yey! Kenpachi and Yachiru are such amusing characters to write about, and with Isshin's "training methods" Ichigo are a disaster waiting to happen in the mornings...

I just realised that this fic is a bit similar to my FMA fic "Attitude adjustments" (with the throwing-people-trough-the-air bit) but that's just a coincidence since these two happens to be the only one-shots I've managed to finish yet.