It's Time to Love Again
Her heart feels like it's splitting into two equal pieces, each with jagged edges that threaten to cut her deeply if she falls onto them.
Her mom says that it is because she's confused on what she wants most above all, whether or not she wants to remain living in the past or move on with the future, live in the present moment.
And she's right, sort of.
Puck, the boy who had snatched her away from her fairytale happy ending and turned her world upside down quite literally, was her past. And Sam, shy but outgoing, handsome but quaint-looking, a good singer but not quite as good as Puck, was her future. It's not like it's anything near as serious as her and Finn were though, not even as serious as her semi-relationship with Puck ever was. It is just painless fun, and she knows that if she wants to step away and leave, she can, and her heart will still be intact. It's nothing like her past relationships, and she can't decide whether that is bad or good.
Her father likes him well enough when she drags Sam along to one of their regular lunches at that little Italian place on the corner of Main and Thomas. He's forgiven her for her accident pregnanct, and although things have been hugely awkward between them, she isn't going to make it any more awkward. She knows she's lucky to be forgiven so quickly; it took her father three years to forgive Callie for holding a party when they were away on a weekend trip. Like he says, he may not be a Christian (in fact Sam doesn't even believe in God, but she leaves this particular part out, she doesn't want to cause anymore strife between them), but he's a damn sight more closer than Puck would ever be.
No matter how hard Puck might have tried, he would have always been the Jewish boy that got their daughter pregnant by accident. Her mother simply adores him, gushes over his blond hair that Quinn still thinks is dyed (nobody has that perfect blond hair without any sort of enhancments, hell she should know from years of getting blonde streaks in her hair every six weeks) and grins when she says that the pair of them would make adorable babies. Quinn shoots her a death glare, pursing her lips tightly. Hell, it's like her first child has been blown out of everyone's memory, nobody cares anymore. Well, she does. Her heart still aches from leaving Beth, and her body will never be the same. Beth will always be a part of her, no matter what. It's only when Sam rubs his thumb lightly over her finger that she snaps out of her day-dreaming, and shakes all thoughts of Beth out of her head. They, Puck and Beth, will always be a part of her, but that doesn't mean that they have to rule over her current happiness.
Quickly, they become the golden couple of McKinley High, quite literally. Their two golden heads can be seen almost always together, Quinn always giggling in his presence and Sam always smiling. Jacob Ben Israel often reports on his weekly blog about them, to Sam's annoyance. She just shakes it off with a careless shrug. Worse things have been written about her. More often than not, she sees Puck glaring at them in the halls. Once, she meets his eyes and smiles softly, mouthing a hello. He just shakes his shaven head, and turns away. It leaves her disappointed and annoyed, but Sam's smiles soon change that.
She takes off where her pregnancy left her; top dog of the school, a handsome guy on her arm and a Cheerios uniform plastered over her now-slvete figure. It's like the past year never happened, honestly. Everyone returns to treating her exactly how she had longed for in the past nine months, but somewhere deep inside she knows she'll never be the same. Sam's the one holding her tight when she cries now, not Finn. Sam's the one who whispers sweet nonsense into her ears now, not Puck. She's never going to be the old Quinn Marie Fabray, but she knows that she can deal with that. It doesn't matter if she can, she just has to find a way to deal. Otherwise she's going to be drowned in her sorrows and despair, and she isn't a strong enough swimmer to swim to safety.
She can deal with the glares Puck sends her in the hallways when she holds Sam's hand tight, she can deal with the jeers and gestures she gets from the guys on the football team, Karofsky and Azimio often shouting that she could warm their beds anytime. She's just happy that Sam or Puck isn't around to hear those lewd remarks, she doesn't want Sam's clean record to be messed up because of her, and Puck can't afford to get into any more trouble. She can deal with the fact Santana hates her, she can deal with her stretch marks. Everything's changing, swirling around her, and just because Dorthey found herself in another world with no way to get home doesn't mean she has to subcumb to that fate.
She sends Sam a soft smile from across the science classroom, her ponytail swishing as she shakes her head softly. She taps her pen against the table quietly, thinking.
Perhaps the future won't be so bad with a guy like Sam to take her hand and guide her on the way.
She could love a guy like him, she knows she could.
Yeah, so I still love Puck & Quinn together 100% but Sam's just too cute to resist writing about ;) EHWIES agrees! Reviews are nice, yeah?