Second story I've done for these two! I love them so much! (: I only hope I portray Jack as well as I'm told I did Damien. Please, give me a little feedback.
No real time-line. It was written around 12-1 AM so the fact that it had to fit in somewhere wasn't really on my mind.
-/-
Jack knew that Damien was a little older than he was. And he knew that he wasn't Damien's first love, as much as he wished he were. More and more often, it even seemed as though Damien were holding something back from him. And Jack could only imagine what that was.
I should just give it to him, he thought, laying in bed one night. It was actually the middle of the day, but that was their 'night.' How bad could it be? Zoey seems to do it quite a bit and- No, Zoey was not a slut. She just had one, no two too many boyfriends. That doesn't make her a slut, it just- He almost whacked himself for thinking that way about a friend. Even if she had dissed that beautiful scarf Damien and he had gotten her for her last birthday. Anyway, he forced himself back to the original problem, I love Damien. So, it's not like I'll regret this later… Besides, there is 'that thing.'
"That thing" was always in the back of his mind. It was his only true fear. Kalona could take over the Earth and Darkness could have its way with him, but neither were as bad as the thought of 'the thing.' He'd only brought himself to say it aloud once. And to Damien, of all people! Yet, the thought never left him.
This new problem, the fact that Damien was holding back, that he was hiding something; it made 'the thing' so much worse.
"Damien will never leave me," he forced himself to say out loud. It was something he'd began saying, as if that would make it true. But tonight's vow was a little different. "I won't let him." he'd added in a whisper.
-/-
Over the next week, Jack came up with a plan of action. He would go to Damien's room and ask to spend the night. They'd done it before, so it wouldn't be a problem. They'd be sharing the same bed, so Damien wouldn't reject to having a little fun. And once that started, he could blame Damien for whatever followed.
The only real problem in all of this was that he just couldn't work up the nerve to go over there. There was a difference between thinking of doing something and actually doing it. And the very thought of "doing it" made him nervous. He couldn't just show up at Damien's door, blushing like mad, sweating puddles and begging to spend the night. Damien would think he was insane! And people would start calling him a slut and thinking about him while trying to solve their own relationship problems.
-/-Damien POV
Sunday's were always the worst. Damien told himself that he need to wake up early the next night, but his body was used to sleeping in and didn't want to listen to him. He'd end up reading or studying most days. However, some days, he just found himself lost in thought.
Today was one of these days.
'Just go to sleep,' he told himself, shifting into a more comfortable position. Naturally, this had no effect and he began listening to the patter of rain on the stone rooftop. Even though Water wasn't his element, it was still comforting in a way. The wind picked up a moment later, as if Air was jealous he were paying attention to another element. He knew this wasn't possible, but it made him laugh all the same.
Then came the sound of steps. Someone was creeping down the hall. Whomever it was stopped a few doors down. There was a short pause and they began pacing. Curious to the strange visitor, whom gave off a familiar sort of feel, he pulled himself out of the cozy bed and made his way over to the door. Slowly, as not to make a sound, he unlocked the door. It made a click, too low to be of notice. He paused before turning the doorknob. He did so equally as slow as the lock, and it didn't make a sound at all. The art of sneaking out was a little too well known to Damien after all the years of doing it as a human.
The figure had just turned away from him, continuing to pace the hallway. Damien couldn't help but smile. Jack was pacing outside of his room, in one of his old t-shirts. How could he not be pleased?
He turned suddenly to face Damien once more. He stopped dead, surprised to see the other boy.
"Damien, I- I, uh-"
"Good evening, or should I say, good morning, Jack. Did you want to come in?"
"Yeah," the boy said, cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.
Damien held the door open for him, wondering why exactly Jack had shown up this late… Err, early. The boy didn't look upset by anything. Nervous and maybe a little embarrassed, yes. But why?
"Damien, I was wondering if I could spend the night?" Jack asked in such a rush that many of the words had actually jumbled together.
He blinked before nodding and answering, "Of course you may. Dare I inquire as to why?"
"Uh," Jack looked a little puzzled, as if he himself had no idea why he was there. No, he just didn't know what to say. Surely there was a reason for the late/early visit. "I was lonely, that's all." He covered a minute later. It wasn't a lie, but Damien could tell it wasn't the whole truth of the matter.
"That's fine," he said, going along with it. If Jack didn't want to tell him, there was a good reason. Though it did upset Damien that Jack was holding something back from him.
'Just like you are.' A little voice whispered into his brain. But there was a good reason for that. There were just some things a guy didn't mention to his boyfriend. And this was one of them. Jack wouldn't dump him over it, of course. But it would cause other problems. Neither would be fully comfortable around each other for awhile. Conversations would become strained. Jack would start 'acting' as if things were normal in front of him. Or maybe he'd begin pushing himself to do things he just wasn't ready for. Damien couldn't allow that.
Jack awkwardly sat down on the bed, staring down at his hands which were folded on his lap. Something did seem to be troubling him.
Damien bent down, to give him a short kiss on the cheek, "Is something wrong, love?"
"No, just… I don't know."
"You can tell me anything, you know that right?"
"Yeah." Jack wasn't meeting his eyes, but his tone was clearly saying, 'Don't push it.'
"Okay then, if you're sure." He kissed his lover's forehead before taking a seat beside him. He didn't care for the helpless feeling Jack was forcing upon him but there was nothing he could do about it. If Jack didn't want to talk, Damien couldn't force him to.
-/-Jack POV
He couldn't do it. There was no way he could do it. What the heck was he even going to say? 'Damien, I'm worried about you cheating on me. Please fuck me so I no longer have to worry about it.' And it wasn't even as if he thought Damien would cheat on him. He just couldn't believe Damien wanted to stay with him. Surely, he wouldn't want to wait around for a kid like Jack to mature. So, before he had time to really think about it, Jack intended to show him that he was mature. That he was able to be whatever Damien wanted him to be.
'Just do it!' he was yelling at himself now. All he needed to do was just kiss him, or something. And then, maybe things would go a bit farther…
There was no point in trying anymore; Jack knew his plan was a complete failure. There was no way he could do any of the things he'd planned.
"Jack?" Damien said, looking a little concerned. Jack had been spacing out and hadn't realized Damien was speaking until then. "Are you sure you're okay?" He look genuinely worried.
"I'm okay, I've just been thinking about things lately." Letting him in on a couple things wouldn't hurt. Besides, maybe Damien could explain things. "You just seem different." He shrugged as if this was no big deal, but it was.
Something in Damien's eyes flickered. He knew. He knew that Jack knew that he was hiding something. "Oh," was all he could say for a moment. Then, he just poured out, "I'm sorry, Jack! I didn't think you would even realize. I just wanted things to be the same and- and- I'm sorry! I'm really, truly sorry!"
-/-No more POV:
"Wait a second," Jack said, putting a hand against Damien's chest, "I don't even know what you're apologizing for. All I know is you haven't been telling me everything."
"I- It's nothing. Really nothing." How could he tell him anyway? 'Jack, I want you. I want you so badly that I can't even think up something less dorky to say.'
"Damien, please?"
"I really don't know how to say it," he said, covering Jack's hand with his own. "It's complicated."
"You're tired of me," Jack said, "Its okay. You don't have to deny it."
"Where did you get that idea?"
"I just know it," Jack replied, "Just like everyone knows the Good Charlotte version of 'Don't want to be in love' is way better than the Metro Station cover." *
Damien blinked, "Well, yeah. But, seriously, Jack, how could you even think that? I love you, nothing could ever change that. Is that what was bothering you earlier?"
"I was- Yes, in a way it was." Jack said, not sure if he should tell Damien that he'd been planning to seduce him. Well, he could hint, "I just want to be whatever you want me to be. An- And, I guess I was going to prove it to you."
Damien blinked in surprise. This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. As much as he wished could deny wanting that very thing. But they couldn't base their relationship on lies and things left unsaid. He had to tell Jack, even if he sounded like an idiot.
"Jack, I guess you're sort of right. That is the type of thing I want."
Jack nodded sadly, as if he'd been defeated, "I tried, but I don't think I can-"
"Let me finish," Damien interrupted, "I do want that with you, but I'm willing to wait. I know neither of us are ready for that step yet. So, don't concern yourself with it. I love you, Jack. Nothing can change that."
Jack smiled, "So, it's okay?"
"Yes, it's really okay."
Jack's smile deepened, "You'll regret saying that."
"Oh, will I?" Damien replied, playing along.
"Yes, you will. You see, I was willing to lay low and let you be on top this time. But, don't you count on it in the future."
Damien just laughed and muttered something about taking him right then and there.
When they finally did cuddle up underneath Damien's blanket, they both fell asleep knowing that everything was okay. And that no matter what stood in their way; nothing would change how they felt.
-/-
Somehow, I think I failed at Jack… He just seems… Pathetic? I dunno, feedback please?
Oh, and I never really explained 'that thing.' It's just a symbol for Jack's own insecurity, if that makes sense… It's hard to really explain and is just a thing I picked up in a Lit Class.
*Don't ask. I was just hearing their cover for the first time while writing this. It has nothing to do with this story at all.